KK I don't have much time to explain all this.

I think valedictorian speeches at graduation ceremonies are hilarious because there's absolutely no way to write one and NOT just make it a lengthy and quite dull speech with the occasional "I'm only slightly chuckling to be polite" joke.

Show me the world's worst valedictorian speeches.

GO.

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

WORLDS WORST VALEDICTORIAN SPEECH

As Valedictorian, I'd just like to let everyone know that I'm a bench.

by crabby, 4-14-09

HAY GUISE WUT ABOUT THIS CONTEST HUR

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

I most as well post an entry seeming noone else but the fabulous Crabby has done so.

WW73: A Comic I Wasn't Willing to Make by Beeko180 4-17-09

[cough cough] Jerry has a bonger!

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

Valedictorian by muffindance 4-18-09

THANK YOU FOR SELECTING ME TO BE THIS YEAR'S VALEDICTORIAN! THESE PAST FEW YEARS HAVE BEEN A HIGHLY EDUCATIONAL AND ENRICHING EXPERIENCE FOR ME MY FAVORITE PART HAS BEEN POSING AS A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT AND SQUEEZING UNDERAGED GIRLS' TITS NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I NEED TO GO JERK MY ENORMOUS THROBBING BONER

I know muffindance's masterpiece (heh..."piece") is going to be tough to follow, but let's get some more entries in.

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

KerrSplat!: A New "Goosebumps" Spine-Tingling Adventure by ArtemisStrong 4-27-09

Dear fellow students, faculty, and parents of Apocalypse High: It is my immense pleasure to be delivering the valec- valee- valunk-... vadic-... Vladicdictorian... Vacklickdelorian... -the best speech. Anyhoo, let me "rant", if I may, for a few secs about the new Star Trek trailer, then we can have irradiated hot dogs and toxic Lean Cuisines in the fallout shelter.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

WW73: Proposal Speech by LittleRocker 4-29-09

Everyone I have an announcement to make. I'd like to inform you I just proposed to Amy. Now Amy would like to come up and say a word.

WORLDS WORST VALEDICTORIAN SPEECH by boloboffin 4-29-09

Unfortunately, the valedictorian could not be here. He did leave a note to read. "Dear Bitches -- What happens when you mix a room full of assholes and 200,000 pounds of C-4? Three, two, one..."

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Well, this has limped on long enough. Time to drag it out behind the shed with a shotgun and tell little Tommy that it's going to a special farm for comic contests that he can't visit.

It's a close race between LittleRocker and boloboffin, but in the end, I think I'm going to have to give it to boloboffin. The line "Dear bitches" was just the edge his comic needed to pull in a win. All the comics entered were great, but I have to pass it on to bolo to make the next WW. Congrats and thanks to all who entered.

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

Hola! Next WW contest coming up!

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker