Okay.  Now it's personal.  Really, it's personal.  I need your help.  My kids are begging for a pet.  I've put them off as long as I can with the lame excuses my parents used on me.  I will break down eventually and get them a pet (I'm not that heartless) but I would like a little more time being pet free.  This is where you come in.

Your challenge is to create a comic that gives reasons for NOT having a pet.  This can include irresponsible people, destructive animals, diseases... I could go on but that's your job.

1. One old comic per participant

2. Series are welcomed

3. I'll judge in a couple of weeks

Other than that, I'm just keeping it simple.  Have fun.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

So... You Think Squirrels Are Cute? by herecomesthepie13 9-10-09

Daddy can I have a pet? No! Remember when I tried to get you that squirrel! What the...

Hope to win

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"Oh... the irony..."

CC 433 by lukket 9-10-09

Dad, can I have a pet? Um. My hearing's not great, but you're not going to halve a pet in my house! No, I want to have a pet. Well. No matter if you halve or have a pet, you're going to clean up the mess after it. Like you did with mom? For the love of God, son, she went to Canada and since then I haven't heard from her.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

CC by HCRoyall 9-10-09

I'm here to deliver a gerbil. But... you're not carrying anything... Where is it...? Though I was bluffing, did you?

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

RCL no. 2040 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-10-09

So, why are you hesitant on getting a new cat..? The last one I had used to sneek into my bed at night and gnaw at my testicles until I came in my sleep! I can see how you might want to avoid going through that again... Oh, that was the best part about owning that cat! Then, what's the problem? I don't know if I have another six months in me to train a new cat to do that to me...

RCL no. 2041 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-11-09

Honey? You want a goat for your birthday? They're on sale... "YOU WANT TO GIVE ME A FUCKING GOAT FOR MY BIRTHDAY?" I just thought- "THERE AIN'T NO WAY I WANT ONE OF THOSE STINKY-ASS, GARBAGE-EATING ANIMALS IN MY HOUSE!!" Ok, honey... Cunt.

CC 433: So long as she's housebroken by TheGovernor 9-12-09

I was thinking about your request for a dog, and I realised pets teach two valuable lessons to kids, responsibility and death It also occured to me that I can no longer afford your grandma's retirement home fees Wanna play fetch?

Inner Thoughts of a Kitty by deathtoradio 9-12-09

I washed my paws five times today. They still smell like pussy. Yesterday I licked the spot where my balls used to reside. I miss them. Sometimes when he gets lonely, he lets me lick tuna juice off his cock.

Flakey Nakerson in: "Half-Bakey Flakey's New Snakey" (1) by biped 9-12-09

...so I pushed my new pony off an overpass and a tanker truck hit it and blew up. I felt bad, but (tee hee) it was a GOOD bad. Why, you fucken asshole. Every kid would love to have a pony, and when YOU get one, look what the fuck you do with it. PFFFT. Mommy, may I have another pony, please? I think I've learned my less-- Your new snake ate the baby. I can still hear its muffled cries from within the snake's bloated abdomen. Well, happy birthday, Flakey. (Mmmwaaahhh... mmmfff, mmm-waaaaahhh...)

Flakey Nakerson in: "Half-Bakey Flakey's New Snakey" (2) by biped 9-12-09

...and you can still here it in there, sort of crying a little... Holy SHIT!!! And you mean to tell me you didn't even TRY to grab, like, a knife or something, and CUT IT THE FUCK OUT? PFFFT!!! Mommy, I had a great idea today if baby's still alive in the snake, and, and we could, like-- Flakey, you are a man now. It's time for your extensive sexual "joining" with the oldest living member of our clan.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC 433: Pass the Bulgogi by Namgubed 9-11-09

Hey, Mom! This cute doggie followed me home. Can we keep him? Woof woof! GET THAT MANGEY MUTT OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CALL ANIMAL CONTROL!! But Mom, he's nice and friendly, and he does tricks! And I figured we can use a good companion since Dad left us ... Woof! YEAH, WELL CAN HE FEED A FAMILY OF FIVE? I dunno ... for one, maybe two weeks, tops, if you make extra gravy. ... woof?

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

CC433: I Wuv U Peppermint!!! by RCCOLAMAN 9-12-09

Daddy daddy I want a pet for my tenth annual maintenance check!! Sure thing son! Wanna play laser tag? ...Um...okay ZAP!!! HOLY SHIT MY ARM!!! Dammit son if you don't clean up after peppermint I'll just have to take it back to the shelter!!!

Dog Troubles by Beeko180 9-15-09

Studies show that most people don't look closely at vomit. Studies also show that most babies throw up a lot. And the results are in. THAT STUPID MUTT!!!!!!!!!!

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

RCL no. 2043 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-15-09

Why park benches don't make good pets... Sit, Boo-Boo, SIT! ♫ There's a good boy! ♫ Now, roll over!

Random joke by lukket 4-15-05

Let me introduce you all to my new pet. I have dubbed him 50 cents... mainly because he's half a buck!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Random joke by lukket 4-15-05

Let me introduce you all to my new pet. I have dubbed him 50 cents... mainly because he's half a buck!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

biscuit denied by ArtemisStrong 9-16-09

No, Sparky! Bad! Bad boy!

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

YOU LIE--

HACK! HORK! Scuse me... sorry, have a frog in mah throat... where was I- oh yes-

YOU LIKE MUDKIPS?!

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

Old Yeller by AngryAmerican 5-01-08

It was the saddest day ever, the day Pa had to put Old Yeller down. I cried and cried, and I never saw Old Yeller 'gain. As I recollect, we never saw Pa again either.

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Kill Whitey.

You guys are having too much fun.  I want in.  Here's what I would have posted if I wasn't hosting.

Going to the Mattresses by four_legged_tripod 9-17-09

Daddy, can I have a pony? Hell no! Never again! But why? Daddy's still in therapy working through what happened the last time we had a pony. Shhhhh. My husband doesn't need to know.

I'll let this run over the weekend and judge first thing Monday morning.  Happy stripping!

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

TYPTWD by AngryAmerican 9-20-09

Honey, I told you I didn't think we should get a dog. Why honey? What happened? Well you know how today was 'Take Your Pet To Work Day'? Yeah... "Well you know how he likes to chew things, right?

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Kill Whitey.

CC 433 by lukket 9-20-09

Well, I do like the petting part of being a pet. But I fear the day when they will kill me and eat me. Well. Being a dog is great. Lots of food, and no worries about being eaten. Well, this is a Korean household. They eat dogs too. Haven't you got an answer for that one? Meow?

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Okay kiddos, judgment time has come.

 First off, good work by all.  I want to mention a few that stuck out to me.

The award for comic title that made me chuckle the most goes to seanator for Marmadookie (when it was titled that)

The award for comic that made my kids cry the most goes to HCRoyal (by the way it also won the Best Use of Richard Gere award)

Award for comic that brought back the most childhood memories goes to RandomComicLayoutGuy for 2040.  My balls still tingle after I read it.

On to the winners.

3rd place goes to AA just for the visual image of a dog using a corpse as a chew toy.

2nd place goes to lukket for his smart Korean pets

And the winner is... TheGovenor for giving me a great excuse and pissing off my grandfather when I took it literally.

 It's all yours my friend.  Congrats.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Wow, cheers

New compo soon