Okay for this contest I want you to make comics about annoying people and the annoying things they say/do that make us want to bash them over the head with whatever blunt object within arms length!!!  >=[

RULES:

1. new and old comics are fine.

2. Series are okay

3. Stop fucking rambling about the Gaia Hypothesis and your Cheroke/Jewish/Kazakhstani heritage in a polysci class you fat white turd!!!!!

I'll judge in two weeks =D have fun and blow off some steam!

Spectator at a video game by evil_d 2-20-02

You shouldn't have fallen on those spikes. If you hadn't fallen on those spikes you wouldn't have died. How many lives do you think it'll take you to beat this level? I think 17. 17 or maybe 18. That was great, you beat that boss without losing any health, but it would have been cooler if you jumped around behind him real fast, and then blasted him in the head, and then blasted him again... You know, hearing you report every single thought that flits through your head might be slightly more bearable if they weren't all so excruciatingly pedestrian. Hey chill out man, we're all just trying to have some fun here, I just thought of that stuff and so I said it, seems to me it was pretty obvious, I'm surprised no one else thought of it first... You realize you're still doing it, right?

Le Compartmentalist, ami de soi-disant connoisseurs by evil_d 12-19-01

The other day, an ignorant friend -- acquaintance, I should say -- gave me a tape to listen to, saying it was the best death metal he'd heard in years. When I played it, it turned out not to be DEATH metal at all, but BLACK metal! Can you believe that? Was it any good? What the hell does that have to do with anything?

People who live in glass houses shouldn't dress as Wolfwood by evil_d 2-03-04

Pfeh! Catgirls at cons! Spare me! I swear, if I see one more girl in cat ears who spouts broken Japanese and is completely ignorant of real Japanese culture, I'm going to scream. Oh my god, I totally agree with you. It's so great to meet someone who appreciates and enjoys all parts of Japanese culture. Hey, did you see that Noguchi ceramics exhibit that was in town last month? Oh, uh, no... I... missed it. Oh... too bad. So, um, what did you think of last night's showing of Char's Counterattack? It was awesome!! I've been waiting my whole life to see that movie on the big screen.

 

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

btw, lol! by four_legged_tripod 2-05-10

OMG! That test was so ez that I'm not even gonna study 2nite for 2mor's test. First off, just say "oh my god." It's the same amount of syllables as OMG. Secondly, don't think that I can't read over your head and see your misspelled words. Look man, that's just the way ppl do it now. Keeps everything short so you can do more in the day. What are you doing besides jerking off? This is just an excuse so you don't have to learn how to spell. Get out of the stone age man! Fine. How about I start with F.U.?

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

RCL no. 2126 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-05-10

...and before that, I was a member of Two Live Crew. But, rapping about big-titted skanks we met at the dance club got old, so... Oh, God. This guy is so ANNOYING! ...I decided to work for Sting's Anti-Deforestation of the Rain Forest Foundation, you might know it as "RADRiFF", and traveled to Costa Rica where I... If, he tells me one more time about his "World's Famous Coffee" that no one has actually heard of, I'm going to SCREAM! ...found the right mixture of beans that create the exquisite aroma and taste of my "World's Famous Coffee". You should try some. It's really good. *SLUUUUUUURRRRP* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

The Execution of Bucky Masturbate -- part one by biped 10-04-09

Do you still have a bad hangover from the office party last night, Dick, because the most effective cure for that would be my patented full-genital massage-- --which would entail my gently yet vigorously kneading your scrotum, testicles, and foreskin while stimulating your anus with a firm yet yielding-- HOLY FUCKING SHIT BUCKY MY HEAD IS BLOWING UP AND I AM TRYING TO TAKE A FUCKEN PISS HERE!!! YOU INCREDIBLE DUMB SHIT!!! ...and then my kind offer of a thorough genital massage was rebuffed by my co-worker Dick in highly unfavorable and non-"team spirit"-compatible terms, and-- Bucky, remember that covered dish fundraiser the Employees' Association held in the breakroom last week? They've hired a hitman to kill you.

The Execution of Bucky Masturbate -- part two by biped 10-04-09

Into that storage closet, fucker. Well, this is highly irregular office procedure. I'm fairly certain that hiring a hitman to kill me clearly qualifies as some prosecutable form of harassment. Wait--what are you doing? Get your hands off...off... uhh...mmmmmm... Just relax and imagine yourself floating down a river of mineral oil. ...and now he keeps sending me candy and flowers every day even though I suffer from hay fever and my doctor warned me that my blood sugar level-- YAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Expectations by LittleRocker 3-08-09

I've got to admit, I wasn't expecting you to be a stick man. I wasn't expecting you to be a shallow bitch either.

CC445 Entry: The Women in my Basement

It's the ones that won't stop screaming that bother me the most.

by DragonXero, 2-07-10

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

How Bitch Changed From Female Dog to Just Female by four_legged_tripod 7-15-09

yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap Damn bitch. That has to be the most annoying sound in the world. I'm going to the kitchen for another beer. There you are! Are you finally going to do the dishes? And what about the trash? You said yesterday yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

RCL no. 2129 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-10-10

Are you really breaking up with me, Laura? Yes. It's my noodles lips, isn't it? ISN'T IT?! Yeah. When we first met, I thought that they were kind of cute. Now, I find them ANNOYING... I don't understand... When you kiss me, it feels like there's an ALIEN attached to my face!

CC445: Chief Red Bull by deathtoradio 2-11-10

What's up, chief? Do I look Native American to you? Wuh? You just addressed me as, "chief." To which tribe do we belong? So...workin' hard, or hardly workin'? Your scalp would look lovely hanging on the wall of my Teepee. And by "Teepee," I mean cubicle.

CC445: And in Other News... by brycekain 2-15-10

OBAMA IS LIKE HITLER!!!!! So Obama is a dictator who is going to commit mass genocide of an entire race of people? He's going to slam the American people with nothing but DEATH PANELS!!!!! So you're a whiney-assed racist Republican and you can't stand the fact that you lost to a well-spoken, highly intelligent black man? DAVID DUKE & SARAH PALIN 2012!!!!!!!!! I hope to Reagan you're right! This is Geraldo Rivera for Fox News. Back to you Hannity!

 

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

This isn't my comic, but I saw it on the front page and noticed how well it fit the theme, so I'm posting it just to share.  It's actually the first of several by the same stripper, but I'm too lazy to post them all.

No one likes Dave by fraod 8-27-07

So then after my second wife left me I thought, Hey! Real estate insurance! I wish he'd shut up. So that homeless guy I was talking to killed me, eh? Reminds me of the time I was fired from work for... I wish he'd shut up. Well, Heaven's pretty much what I expected. It's a lot nicer than the Sheraton, I'll tell you. I had a business meeting there once and... I wish he'd shut up.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

I'm going to judge this contest on Wednesday so get all those last minute entries in!

GODDAMMIT SUNDAY MORNINGS ARE FOR SLEEPING IN

Evangelism by HCRoyall 9-14-05

Good morning! Can I help you? I'm with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Have you accepted Jesus into your life? Are you kidding me?! I let the bastard in two years ago and he never left! You're out of milk again.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

RCL no. 2131 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-15-10

You know what really annoys me? When I lure a twelve year-old girl into my van to molest her... ...and she complains that I didn't give her enough foreplay before penetration!

Times up!  There were several great entries this time around but here are my top three favorites:

 Bronze medal goes to DragonXero for the annoying women in his basement!

Silver medal  goes Biped for the Execution of Bucky Masturbate!!

And the Gold medal goes to HCRoyal for giving me yet another reason to not accept jesus into my life!!  *insert your national anthem here*

Thanks for playing everyone, take it away HC!!

The irony of this win is that I go to church every sunday and believe religion would help a great many people.

Oh well.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.