Rudy Disappoints Some Lady (Part One) by ZMannZilla 6-27-10

Thank you for calling Field & Stream Magazine, this is Rudy, how can I help you? Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh. Mmm-hmm. Well, while we appreciate the offer, Ms. Gaga, I don't think we can use you on our cover.

Rudy Disappoints Some Lady (Part Two) by ZMannZilla 6-27-10

No, Ms. Gaga, you can't be on the cover of Field & Stream. For starters, because you aren't a fish, bird, or animal hunted for sport. It takes more than just being a celebrity to be on our cover. Well, maybe if you were a little more familiar with the life of Ted Nugent, you'd understand why we made that exception.

Rudy Disappoints Some Lady (Part Three) by ZMannZilla 6-27-10

Ms. Gaga, there is no reason to put you on the cover of Field & Stream Magazine. You're like the complete opposite of "nature". No, there really isn't anything you can do for me to change my mind. Especially not that. But thanks for the offer. Yeah, well, maybe it's because yours is bigger that I'm turning you down, you ever think of that?

Rudy Disappoints Some Lady (Part Four) by ZMannZilla 6-27-10

Hey Rudy. How's things in the world of Field & Stream? Bizarre. I just got a call from Lady Gaga, demanding to be on the cover. Oh, crap. You said "yes", right? Um, no. She's neither a field or a stream. There's no reason to put her on the cover. Wow. You have no idea how I ended up in this wheelchair, do you? I'm beginning to think it's related to Lady Gaga being on the cover of Scientific American last month?

Rudy Disappoints Some Lady (Part Five) by ZMannZilla 6-27-10

Voicemail... Hey, Ms. Gaga, it's Rudy again, from Field & Stream. I've thought about your generous offer, and we'd love to have you on our cover. Please give us a call back so we can schedule a photo session, and thank you in advance for not breaking my spine with your massive teeth. Did I just drag this wood chipper down here for nothing? NO! YES! WHATEVER! JUST DON'T HURT ME!

---
"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

Win.

---
I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Agreed

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

No, it's funnier that rectal cancer.  Barely.

These comics are so good, they made me forget about hand puppets for almost ten minutes.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The image of Lady GaGa beaking his spine with her humongous teeth has kept me giggling for a while now.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.