Comic Contest #3: The rules... by wirthling 2-13-01

Here are the rules for Comic Contest #3... Use any "Gabe" from "kofightclub" or "pennyarcade." You must use Gabe at least once in the cartoon. Title your comic "Comic Contest #3." You can add an alternate title after that, such as "Comic Contest #3 - wirthling is god!" You can also include "clango" or "redrobot" from "dieselsweeties," but you don't have to use either of them. You may not use any props. Use any background you want. I will pick a "winner" at 7pm EST on Thursday 2/15... Oh, and one of your characters has to mention a vegetable, such as "broccoli," and someone has to say (or words to the effect), "I got 2 words for you:"...You pick the 2 words... Oh, crap, ObiJo! What have you done to us?!

For you 'tards out there who would like the rules in non-comic form:

1. Use any pose of any Gabe from kofightclub or pennyarcade. You must use a Gabe at least once. You can use as many Gabes as you want, too.

2. You can use any pose of clango and/or redrobot from dieselsweeties, but you don't have to use either of them if you don't want to. You can use either of them repeatedly if you want.

3. Do not use any props.

4. Use any background you want.

5. One character must say (or think) the name of a vegetable, such as "broccoli." (I hope you all know what vegetables are.) The vegetable name can be used in a sentence, such as "I like the way he rubs broccoli on me."

6. One character must say, "I got 2 words for you:" You supply the 2 words. You can be creative with what constitutes 2 words. Example: "I got 2 words for you: re tard!"

7. Title your comic "Comic Contest #3" followed by whatever you want as an alternate title.

8. The deadline for submitting comics is Thursday 2/15 at 7pm EST (that's Eastern Standard Time, moron).

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

I'm Gabe. Can I use me?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Comic Contest #3: My Worst Entry Yet :) by descolada99 2-13-01

So there I am, minding my own business shopping for groceries when these two thugs bust in and trash the vegetable section... Earlier... Freeze scawny Hu-mons or suffer my wrath! All your asparagus are belong to us! The preceding comic was brought to you by Avoiding Homework Industries I got 2 words for you: Fucked up.

Well, this is defintiely my weakest entry of the three contests.

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

Ahh... Don't beat yourself up. Homework'll do that to ya.

Comic Contest #3 - You Want Me to Do What? by gabe_billings 2-13-01

Most people think I sit around all day, playing video games with Tycho and letting my brain turn into cabbage. But I have seen the future, my friends, and I got two words for you... Cyber dildonics. Ah, there you are sir. Time for your two o'clock rim job.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

The rotten bastard that I am, I used the prop of height for the dialogue box. Feel free to beat me about the neck and shoulders.

Comic Contest #3 - Canned, just the way I like 'em by ObiJo 2-13-01

Every day, Eddie dreaded going to school. Please don't call on me. Please, God, not me. Let's see if Eddie knows. Eddie, can you tell us who the first president was? And everyday he got his hopes up that today would be different I can do this. I can! It's just two words. I can get through two measly words! But the monster that is Vegetable Tourette Syndrome knows no mercy. I've got two words for ya: Gourd Washington.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Ok. Let's see if I can work anyMORE sexual shit into my shit.

Comic Contest #3: Goddamnit, I have run out of funnyjuice! by Bottlerockett 2-13-01

WTF. I just went to the salon with my girl... Uhhh... I got two words... Oreo. Facial... mmuthafucka. Is that a cucumber, or are you just... nevermind.

Oh, yeah, I am Wally_Champ, but click "bottlerockett" for me.

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http://wally.pgbco.com

ok... here we go... my entry... yeah...

Comic contest#3: Things wind up in the darndest places. by bikity 2-13-01

So the other day I'm sitting around the streets of Jeruseleam when a robot comes up to me. Uh, sir can you come help my friend? he got a cucumber stuck up his ass! Now, normally I would find myself being outraged and disgusted. Hell, I probably would have cursed him, but how often do you get to see a robot with a cucumber up it's ass? I swear I didn't see that cucumber when I sat down! Will you help me get it out mister? So, I held my profanity, and it all paid off in the end. I got two words for ya: seek counseling But... how's the psychiatrist gonna get it out if you can't?

Comic Contest #3: Part of a well-balanced robot by BigEvilDan 2-13-01

When I was growing up, my mom always always told me to eat my broccoli... But vegetables have minerals like iron in them.... And just ask my friend Tim here what happens when you eat too much iron... I've got two words for you: pissed robot.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Comic Contest #3 - What, you thought he had feet that big? by evil_d 2-14-01

Hi, Clango. Don't bother talking to me; I can't hear you. I've got a banana in my ear. Sure, whatever Gabe. Listen, I know you probably don't want to hear this, but Maura wants me to tell you that she's leaving you, for me. I can't see you too well, either. I have cookies in my eyes. Heh heh, right. Um, she also asked me to tell you why she's dumping you, which is because of certain, er, difficulties, in, well.... I'd get up and go home, but it's tough to walk with all this celery in my shoes. Listen, Iron Chef Dreamcast, I got two words for you: spaghetti dick. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a woman to please.

I wasn't 100% sure that celery was a vegetable, so I did a little research on the web to double-check. In the course of so doing, I found this:

http://www.dole5aday.com/encyclopedia/celery/celery_menu.html

...which is much funnier than it has any right to be.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Hey evil_d,

Sam the Celery is one bad mama jama. I was a little disturbed with the section "How Celery is Made" though. Celery Slaughterhouses are just wrong.

Well, your self-proclaimed search to find out if Celery was a fruit or vegetable made me go look up gourd for the hell of it. Gourd's a vegetable right? Everyone knows that? Wrong. Gourd's a fruit I found out.

But there's a lesson out there for all the children reading this. Beware of a fruit in vegetable's clothing. Also beware of the tomato, that's one cross dressing fruit/vegetable that no one knows what to call.

And now I leave dejected.

-ObiJo

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Have I mentioned that I'm not a Republican?

http://www.lowpass.net/stripcreator/view.php?ID=

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I think this is the best contest yet..!

That kid will probably sue his dad if he ever finds out about this picture...

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http://wally.pgbco.com

Comic Contest #3 You say Tomatoe I say Shut up. by Fracture 2-13-01

So have you started that project yet? What project? The one where we have to power downtown LA with a potatoe? Why would we have to do that? I got 2 words for ya... Deregulated Power?

quote:

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Gourd's a vegetable right? Everyone knows that? Wrong. Gourd's a fruit I found out.

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quote:

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Well, let's hope wirthling doesn't know any better either.
"Vegetable Tourette Syndrome" is a lot funnier than "Fruit Tourette Syndrome", for some reason

quote:

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Ya, well I'll take my disqualification like a man. Crying and stomping my feet. Also my sole purpose in life now is to rid the world of all gourds. This may hurt the crop market, but righteousness is on my side.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

What the hell did gourds ever do to you? Why don't you pick on someone your own size?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I have no stomach for gourd sympathizers either.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to put on my headphones, listen to Carmina Burana and gore some gourds.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I am bravely crawling out of my deathbed (OK, maybe not my deathbed - I have the flu) to perform my obligations here, so if you don't like my pick, then bite me. I know Gabe and ObiJo gave feedback on all the submitted cartoons, but I don't feel up to that right now.

Picking a winner was difficult, especially since none of you offered to blow me. Therefore, I decided I should probably pick the comic I liked best.

The winner is...

Comic Contest #3 - What, you thought he had feet that big? by evil_d 2-14-01

Hi, Clango. Don't bother talking to me; I can't hear you. I've got a banana in my ear. Sure, whatever Gabe. Listen, I know you probably don't want to hear this, but Maura wants me to tell you that she's leaving you, for me. I can't see you too well, either. I have cookies in my eyes. Heh heh, right. Um, she also asked me to tell you why she's dumping you, which is because of certain, er, difficulties, in, well.... I'd get up and go home, but it's tough to walk with all this celery in my shoes. Listen, Iron Chef Dreamcast, I got two words for you: spaghetti dick. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a woman to please.

evil_d got bonus points for using all 4 major food groups - vegetable, fruit, pasta, and snacks - as well as doing the extra research to verfiy that celery was in fact a vegetable (duh).

So, gourds are not vegetables - they are fruits? Who knew this could be an educational experience?

Stop looking at my pumpkin pie like that, ObiJo...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Sorry to hear you have the flu, wirthling. I hope that after you recover you don't regret the outcomes of any comic contests you may have moderated while delirious.

Get well soon. Preferably within the next two days so you can contribute to #4. :)

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Comic Contest #3 - FM only, PLEASE! by therealmikeg 2-21-01

One Saturday Morning in E-town... Hey Gabe! You're a human, right? I need to ask you a question. Um, sure Clango. Shoot. My girlfriend says that my antenna isn't doing it for her anymore. What can I do to spice up the sex life? You need a pager and a jalepeno. What would I do with those? I've got two words for you... Vibrating Pepper.

Found this while browsing. It's a legal entry and all, just too late. I'm guessing the author saw the strip that announced the contest, but not this thread. Or the submission deadline given in the strip, evidently. Anyway.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!