This is a new thing I am doing for the regs page. Basically, in the order you find them on the page, I will be running a couple of threads at a time for you people to nominate, and later vote for, what you consider to be each reg's best strips. This thread is for andydougan. There are no real rules here. If you feel like it, read through some or all of his strips and post a handful of your favourites to be nominated. In a week or so I will call for votes on the nominees, and the highest-voted will be included his entry on the regs page as "most popular strips" or something similar. Andy, feel free to suggest your own if you have favourites.

Go for it!

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Paranoia, nice to know ya by andydougan 7-15-02

Sweet Mary. I think this guy's been walking right behind me for five minutes. And I can't look round or I'll appear timid. Perhaps he's just coincidentally walking the same route. I'll just keep my eyes straight ahead and walk imperceptibly more quickly. Okay, this may be stretching happenstance a bit far. This is great - this tit's wallet has been leaking for ten minutes now!

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Batman created by Bob Kane

A poor reception by andydougan 12-13-01

Bring bring! Bring bring! Bring bring! Bring bring! Bring bring! Bring da! Bring da motha! Bring da mothafuckin' ruckus! No, sorry, I just don't see you making it as a gangsta rapper.

If you don't come from Glasgow, this'll be even less funny. by andydougan 5-08-01

Outside Queen Street Station Yyyyyvnn Tiiiiiiimz Get yer Yyyyyvnn Tiiiiiiimz Hi, I'd like an Evening Times. What's an Evening Times?

Here are a few...

Jesus at play by andydougan 3-08-01

There! That oughta teach you to go around saying you're the son of God! I hate to tell you this... But I actually AM the son of God. You're going to go to Hell unless you hammer a nail into your own forehead. What a spaz.

When Andy Met Russell by andydougan 3-15-01

Hi. I'm Andy Dougan, film critic with "The Evening Times". I'd like to interview you about your latest "film", Mr Crowe. Well, it's called "Proof of Life". I play this muscly guy who furrows his brow a lot. That's quite a change of direction for you. Next you'll be telling me you fancy yourself or something. Yeah. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to play the biscuit game by myself.

The Eternal Punishment of Andy Dougan by andydougan 3-15-01

Andy Dougan, film critic with "The Evening Times", is at the cinema. Hoi, you! Get off your crucifix. I can't see the screen. Crumbs! It's Jesus himself! I've done it now! Centuries later... And now, yet another screening of "Proof of Life"!

Everything's back to normal by andydougan 4-20-01

Andy Dougan, film critic, and Lucifer Jones, evil sadist, have escaped jail. Free! Free to commit acts of unspeakable depravity once again! Want to play the biscuit game? Yeah, okay.

Animal Crackers by andydougan 6-28-01

Let's have a bowl of spaghetti. No, because we're birds, let's have a bowl of WORMS instead! AAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Oh d...HA HA HA!!! Oh...oh...hee hee...oh dearie me...hee hee hee... Isn't this a bit well-drawn for an Animal Crackers strip?

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Meet more candidates by andydougan 6-28-01

Iain Duncan Smith Huntin'! Shootin'! Down with women and poofs! And I'm not into ethnic minorities either. Kenneth Clarke If the Tories had any brains they'd pick me, but of course if they had any brains they wouldn't be Tories in the first place. Back in the studio So, John, how did it go with the candidates? I'd say they all got molested one too many times at boarding school. Oh shit, are we on air?

Divine comedy by andydougan 7-09-01

Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and my soul will be healed. Hee hee! The blood of Christ. Aaaah ha ha ha ha!!! Okay, son, fun's over. Time for you to tell those poor people the truth. Five more minutes, dad, please...

There aren't enough indoor backgrounds by andydougan 8-02-01

EMI, London Ring! 'aaaallo? It's a disgrace! If you play "We're Going to Ibiza" by the Vengaboys backwards, it says "Worship Satan"! Your company should be shut down! Ho ho! You bought a Vengaboys song? Der...um...ah...er...it was a present.

George Dubya writes 7 in Roman numerals by andydougan 8-05-01

I know she's meant to be Oriental, but she'll have to do by andydougan 8-13-01

Gaza City When I grow up, I hope to live in a peaceful country where you don't constantly fear for your life. Glasgow When I grow up, I hope to have thirty children by twelve different women, all of whom I beat half to death. Paki cunt!

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6 invisible men in adjoining phone booths, two with masks by andydougan 8-22-01

Argh, dialed the wrong number *again*. My kingdom for gloves!

teh prSdent adresez teh nayshun by andydougan 9-17-01

George Walker Bush, chimpanzee The Talerbun has three days to hand over Sinbad lin Baden. Cos he done killed in'cent folks and shit. If'm they fails to cumply, us here in 'merica will bomb the livin' shit outta Afganastania, thereby killing more in'cent folks an' creatin' support for bin Laden, who will, by the way, survive. Paki CUNT!

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I'm planning to read all of andy's strips tonight. Expect many more nominations.

CC64 - Putting differences aside by andydougan 9-22-01

Gaza City The west bank should belong to Israel! It was given to the Jews by God! Infidel! It's the sacred property of Palestine! It was given to the Muslims by Allah! I got stoned last night.

CC74: Untitled by andydougan 10-21-01

Even the US military is helpless against Al-Qaeda! Looks like this is the end of the world. Really? Then excuse me, there's something I have to do. BITCH!

40k campaign conclusion by andydougan 10-21-01

To blazes with it! I never want to make another comic strip again! It's over! I'm retiring. If I ever lay eyes on sc.com again it'll be too soon! But what about 50000?

Comic Cup 6 - Why Rome fell by andydougan 11-01-01

The Creation "Science" Institute We've just got the results of the carbon dating tests on the Pickmaster 3000 electric nosepicker we unearthed. And? According to the test, the Pickmaster is about 1500 years old! This proves that carbon dating is a sham and creationism is the one true science! Huzzah! Break out the non-alcoholic champagne! 5th century AD I don't care what anyone thinks. I'm opening a Pickmaster 3000 emporium and that's that! I'm telling you, Brutus, it's immoral. It'll lead to the decline of civilisation as we know it.

Rite of passage by andydougan 12-29-01

By the seventh sepulchre of obsidian... ...by the eldritch wastes of Tartarus... ...by the lachrymose shrieks of the never-born... ...by the chthonic depths of the lightless river, and the time-forgotten sentinels who speak not... ...and then it's third on your left. You can't miss it. Thanks.

That's all for tonight. I'm going blind.

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Meh favorite by teh andydougan!!!11!111

Be sure to wear some flowers in YOUR hair, too... by pita 10-20-01

You know how they separate the men from the boys in San Francisco, don't you? No, and I'm afraid to ask... With a crowbar.

Sorry, couldn't help it. I'll pick some *real* nominations in a moment.

Andy's life in 3 panels:

A critic is born by andydougan 5-08-02

Then I've been bottling this up for so, so long and I didn't think I'd ever be able to tell you...I've been planning how to do it for weeks and...I...I love you! Ha! Yeah, whatever, dweeb. Now This film is rubbish. And Russell Crowe's acting is execrable. I'd like to shoot him.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Cow tools by andydougan 7-31-01

Well, that's my first-ever entry for a comic contest complete! A sure-fire winner! Uh oh. It seems kaufman has also entered, and his strip is considerably better than mine. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I don't have a joke for this strip. This just isn't my day.

Recursive strip by andydougan 7-10-01

Sure is hard work bein' president o' the USA! Think I'll relax by havin' a look at that thar Low Pass site! Haw haw! There's a strip with some cowboy bein' president and actin' like an in-bred redneck! Sure is hard work bein' president o' the USA! Think I'll relax by havin' a look at that thar Low Pass site! Hold on a cotton-pickin' second...

Inane conversations #3 by andydougan 6-10-02

!     ?   ... \o/ ^o^ ^__^

Better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied by andydougan 7-09-01

Ah, I see the problem: you've got an infestation of mice. They could eat all your food and cause a great inconvenience. But don't worry, I'll just feed them poison. Isn't there any other way? It's okay, they only live about two years anyway and have small brains, so it doesn't matter much if they die. That's planet Earth in the way of our journey. Its human inhabitants only have a lifespan of 70 to 90 years and an average IQ of 100. It'd take an extra fifteen minutes to go round it. Well, I can't be bothered with a detour. Blast 'em to fuck.

This one goes out to the one I love by andydougan 7-11-01

John Stuart Mill claimed in "Utilitarianism" that all action could be reduced to the pursuit of pleasure. But it was a revisionist version of Jeremy Bentham's utilitarianism, which had claimed that all pleasures were of equal worth. That's so. Mill held that intellectual pleasures were superior to merely sensual ones, and that "it is...better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied". Nevertheless, is it not demeaning to mankind to say that we have no nobler aim than personal pleasure? Well, it's been fun. I'd better get back to spitting in the Chicken Royales at Burger King. Okay, see you later. I've still got a few hours until my temping job in William Hague's willy-waashing shop starts.

ekamotreverofkootpirtssiht by andydougan 8-02-01

I wonder what happens if you play this video backwards... !?!!!elihpodeporcen/elifed I dlihc daed ruoy/tsegni I eciuj dercas eht/ssec gniweps erop lanA !!!LWORG That's a disgrace! What would I say if my four-year-old asked me what "elihpodeporcen" means? .ti yojne uoy epoh eW ."tnuC s'nigriV a morf deppiR sliartnE" dellac s'eno sihT

CC65 - Fixing the case by andydougan 9-23-01

Taped police interview with Dr Pedantic Okay, doc, could you tell us where you were on the night of September 22nd? Reading my dictionary at home, whilst not murdering Asian girls. I put it to you that you sticked Asiangirl2 in the microwave at defrost setting, and you're non-repentant and would do it again. I STUCK Asiangirl2 in the microwave at defrost setting, and I'm UNrepentant and would do it again. Thanks for the taped confession. Shit.

That Allah, man. He's a hoot. by andydougan 10-11-01

Mohammed Atta, ex-terrorist I thought it meant seventy *female* virgins!

[Click to view comic: 'A strip I'm going to post whenever a joke makes me groan']
[Click to view comic: 'Comic Cup 7.5 - Terraform her! Terraform her!']
[Click to view comic: 'Bear and horse go to their eternal abode. And that's all.']
[Click to view comic: 'Comic Cup 9.1 - Mocking birds']