His comics may be puke, but I don't think so.

Read 'em and weep... er, post.

Hey Boo, how about tossing some coin to Brad so you can delete all those duplicate comics from your early days!

Maybe you could sell a certain dog to a Chinese restaurant and donate the green to SC?

On the flip side: Selecting the best out of this lot will take me a while. There are so many great ones.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

As I am currently striving to overtake boorite in quantity, though not in quality, I second this.

Call me nuts, but this makes me laugh every time I read it. Two votes for

Kick it up yours by boorite 3-29-01

Dear Emeril: We at Boorite, Inc. thought you might spice up your show with these variations on your slogan, "We're gonna kick it up a notch. BAM!" Now we're gonna blow it out my ass! SPOOT! We're gonna tie it up and make it watch! BIZZATCH! We're gonna nuke this fucker! SHAZAM! We're gonna throw this at the wall and see if it sticks! OH GOD! Take THIS, you inedible pile of excrement! WACKA WACKA! Let's ruin this! FUCK!

...alas, I could only get to April 2001 of boorite's comics before I found way too many great ones than I could actually vote for. So I'll vote for the following and leave it at that.

I see your point, part 2 by boorite 3-15-01

Sunglasses after dark. You must think you're really cool. No, I'm BLIND, you insensitive clod! Oh. Me, too. OK. Sorry, man. hey...

To cheat Death by boorite 3-13-01

I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy. Uh-oh. Well? Er, um, I see by your outfit that you are... a dentist? Of all the... where's a mirror? Whew.

Whose cuisine will reign supreme? by boorite 3-14-01

Today on Iron Chef The theme ingredient is... ENORMOUS INSECT PEST! food Fukui-San! It looks as if the Enormous Insect Pest is dismembering Chairman Kaga alive! Yes, I believe it's going to use him in a Sashimi creation. It looks so gooood. Giggle!

[Click to view comic: 'The importance of clarity']
[Click to view comic: 'Memm-reeeeez']

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

As I am currently striving to overtake boorite in quantity, though not in quality, I second this.

Yes, I knew this, and it occurred to me that I have this many comics only because of some glitch in my OS. Sad, really. But I'll never give money to anyone, anywhere, ever. Not a fucking lint-covered, gum-encrusted dime from the bottom of my scungiest pocket, and not even for Mother Teresa.

Vote for my comics!

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What others say about boorite!

Way to many funny. But I'll go with this.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

You cheapifisant bastard!

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

I went through all his comics, and these are all the good ones.

Tom Hanks knew there was only one way to get his 3rd Oscar by ObiJo 3-28-01

The General that became a slave... I got jipped for Apollo 13 and Saving Private Ryan. The slave that became a Gladiator... Not to mention Bachelor Party. The actor hog tied aboard a skiff who was about to become an anchor. Plus Meg Ryan can only have one leading man. Mmmf! Mmmf!

Sensitivity training II by boorite 3-27-01

So an elephant gets a thorn stuck in his foot... ....and this squirrel tells him he'll pull it out for him on one condition-- I know, I know. "Take it all, bitch." Just hilarious. It works because squirrels have tiny peckers.

Suckology by boorite 3-29-01

YOUR GAY!!!! I found your dissertation on vacuum aspiration of fleshy protruberances most illuminating. I don't even know what you're talking about. I'll bet you do, Dr. Hoover.

I still like this genre by boorite 4-06-01

In Joyce, a predominant concept is textual narrativity. The primary theme of Geoffrey's essay on the precultural paradigm of narrative is the common ground between art and sexual identity. However, Bataille's critique of subdeconstructive theory holds that sexuality is responsible for colonialist perceptions of class, given that narrativity is distinct from culture. Questions? Yes. Can I take a crap on your bald spot?

How the mighty are fallen by boorite 5-08-01

RAAAAR! PIZZA DELIVERY HU-MAN! FEAR TOBOR! Why? TOBOR WILL PICK OFF THE PEPPERONIS WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING! TOBOR WILL CONSUME THEM! Dude! Lame! NO TIP FOR YOU! RAAAAR! TOBOR WILL STIFF YOU! Rar. Pizza delivery boy will jerk off in the pizza dough.

[Click to view comic: 'CC 34: How low is the humor, mama?'][Click to view comic: 'Bad joke derby: 20 questions'][Click to view comic: 'Joke joke. Who's there?'][Click to view comic: 'That's something, anyway'][Click to view comic: 'CC80: A good influence'][Click to view comic: 'Goodbye, artistic integrity'][Click to view comic: 'Maternal clock'][Click to view comic: 'The way we were'][Click to view comic: 'CC83: Sleeping derangements'][Click to view comic: 'CC83: Witty banter loosens things up'][Click to view comic: 'Camouflage'][Click to view comic: 'Non-compete Claus'][Click to view comic: 'Magical miracle clown'][Click to view comic: 'Character builder'][Click to view comic: 'Chicken angst'][Click to view comic: 'CC114: Gone with the Wind, ending #381'][Click to view comic: 'Smackdown!'][Click to view comic: 'CC 123: Joy Luck Club'][Click to view comic: 'CC 125: Sins of the Fathers, pt. 7'][Click to view comic: 'How to make a funny comics that isn't a puke'][Click to view comic: 'The best defense is a brain the size of a walnut'][Click to view comic: 'Gettin' culture'][Click to view comic: 'Proselyte Lite']

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~But now you realize / He's not selling any alibis~

Oops, the first one was supposed to be

Sensitivity training II by boorite 3-27-01

So an elephant gets a thorn stuck in his foot... ....and this squirrel tells him he'll pull it out for him on one condition-- I know, I know. "Take it all, bitch." Just hilarious. It works because squirrels have tiny peckers.

.

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~But now you realize / He's not selling any alibis~

Smackdown! by boorite 4-24-02

If I wanted men in tights abusing each other, I'd go see a gay S&M show. If I wanted a gay S&M show, I'd clock you with a folding chair and bend you over the ropes. If I wanted you to clock me with a folding chair and bend me over the ropes, I'd have brought you roses. If I... what?

Old? S'cool. by boorite 3-01-02

Know'm sayin'? Wait, Noam is saying? No. Know'm sayin'? Know'm sayin'? Gnomes are sailing? What? KNOW. WHAT. I. AM. SAYING?? I haven't the foggiest.

To know know know them. . . by boorite 11-02-01

I wonder why everyone hates Glaswegians. Glass what? Glaswegians. People from Glasgow. Where? Glasgow. Scotland. Scotland has cities now?

CC 49: I'm not making this up by boorite 8-01-01

Let's see... when I was 7, I played hooky with my older brother. And I used to clean up after his booze and pot binges so our parents wouldn't find out. At 12, my friends and I started stealing booze from our parents, and smoking cigs and rope. I was into my brother's Penthouses, which he got from an old queer who blew him while I waited in the car. When I was 13, I got slightly busted for shoplifting and also climbing on the roof of a supermarket. I stopped doing schoolwork and drew nasty cartoons instead. I learned to make bombs. At 14, we my older pal got his driver's license, so we "landscaped" and burned half a golf course. There was a reward out for us, so we planted a rumor that one of our enemies did it. Then he and I held up some convenience stores, and his dad bought off the DA so we went to the funny farm instead of jail. He's a preacher now. Our accomplice is dead-- he took cyanide from his lab. And I still wanna know WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE KIDS TODAY?

I have no idea. It made me laugh for reasons I can't determine.

Giddyap by boorite 4-10-01

YEEEEHAAA! YEEEEHAAA! DEATH RIDES A LARGE, FLIGHTLESS BIRD!

[ Posted comic does not exist ]
[ Posted comic does not exist ]
[Click to view comic: 'Or maybe it does']
[Click to view comic: 'Old Testament outtakes I']

This episode of Rawhide brought to you by KY Jelly by boorite 3-15-01

You'll swing for this, outlaw! Hell, I'm into that.   ?   Matter of fact, the missus and me got a three-day spouse-swapper lined up at the Milwaukee TraveLodge next week. You idiot. I mean you'll be hung. Like a horse, muchacho.

Father, who art thou? by boorite 3-23-01

WHO'S YOUR DADDY? Get bent, creep! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? Eeewwwwww. O Lord, I just can't seem to make it with the chicks. WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

Rape me again by boorite 3-26-01

Dude, I just had the weirdest dream that Kurt Cobain died. For the last time, he did. Furthermore, your look is at least 5 years out of style. You shittin' me? Five years? More like 9. You look like an extra from the movie "Singles." Hmmm. Is it old enough to be retro kitsch yet? Sorry, gotta go through the 80s first. We started with the President.

[Click to view comic: 'A surplus of information']
[Click to view comic: 'Kick it up yours']
[Click to view comic: 'Mentor']
[Click to view comic: 'Home of Adolph Coors']
[Click to view comic: 'Tobor vs. Dr. Pedantic']
[Click to view comic: 'The war has won']
[Click to view comic: 'Friday the 13th Part Gabe']

No way! Tell me Soundgarden is still around!

:(

OH, I get it. by boorite 10-21-01

Nyah nyah, I'm insulting you, and you can't do a damned thing about it because you're just a scrawny little rooster. Cock-a-doodle-doo, you miserable chicken. Your mother was a fryer and your father-- Cut it out, Maura. She's such a cock tease.

Our leaders are the finest men and we elect em again & again by boorite 10-21-01

Mr. President, when President Putin spoke of "certain parameters" regarding the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty, to what was he referring? Huh huh... huh huh huh.... Hahahahahahaha. Do you have some secret information up your sleeve, Mr. President? You said "pootin'."

Maternal clock by boorite 11-19-01

My girlfriend told me her maternal clock was ticking. Was it wrong to put birth control pills in her Ovaltine?

Cowboy Metallurgy by boorite 11-21-01

Well, I'm a metalhead. This does NOT mean Korn, Limp Bizkit, or pretty much ANYTHING on the radio. I like metal. Not crap. Smell the pain! Ha, ha! What the fuck are you talking about?

I'm with the band by boorite 11-21-01

Hello Chickasaw Falls! Are you ready to ROCK? GET OFF THE STAGE, FAG BOY! You promised you'd behave yourself, Mom.

[Click to view comic: 'User-friendly']
[Click to view comic: 'It ain't rocket science. OK, it is, actually.']
[Click to view comic: 'CC83: That's pretty personal']
[Click to view comic: 'How to tell if he's on drugs']
[Click to view comic: 'Back-to-school: Culture shock']
[Click to view comic: 'When I get home tonight']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 114: Gumpcut']

Goddammit, this one nearly made me spew my drink on the keyboard...
[Click to view comic: 'CC117: Act locally']

And this one... Damn, Boorite just gets better and better with time.
[Click to view comic: 'Criminal investigation']
[Click to view comic: 'Dragnabbit']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 125: Sins of the Father, pt. 6']
[Click to view comic: 'Film School 4']
[Click to view comic: 'Film School 9']
[Click to view comic: 'Film School 10']
[Click to view comic: 'Found God']
[Click to view comic: 'Hot lesbo action']
[Click to view comic: 'FWS']
[Click to view comic: 'The long and winding cup']

And with that, I have read all of his comics to date.

:(

... Mudhoney? :'<

Homophobophobia by boorite 8-20-02

Hey, any QUEERS in the audience tonight? Oh, uh, sorry, third row... There goes my whole routine. G'nite, folks!

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Hi, I just joined, let me know what you think of my comics please. Here's the first one, you can cycle through the rest if you'd like: Bad Decision

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Arf

Create a new topic for your own comics.

Ya, BITCH!

Read Cowboy Dave.

My first sale! by boorite 4-12-01

It's TV producer Yadahentai Mobukakke! Mr. Boorite, I am here to buy the rights to your gameshow idea, "Super Robot Manrape Endurance Torture Rally." Sheez, I'm so hosed on Old Crow and Benadryl, I'll sign anything. One condition: You are first contestant. Hmmm, let me think abou-- RAAAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!

this has to be included in the select a fave, as its also the genesis of the Tobor mythos.

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

Voting begins now.

Oh god... what to chose....

Double Vote: The war has won

All the rest are single votes:

-Memm-reeeeez
-Suckology
-Smackdown!
-Prolselyte Lite
-This episode of Rawhide brought to you by KY Jelly
-S0le uva n00 machine!!1!!1
-Mentor
-Home of Adolph Coors
-Our leaders are the finest men and we elect em again & again
-Maternal clock ( the one with the birth control in the ovaltine )
-CC117: Act locally
-Criminal investigation

I can't do these without your help people.

You mean we have to do more?

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

I'd just like a few more people to vote before I finish these and move on to the next ones.