Here's your strips. read 'em...

Re-introducing: Mandy! by DaveMonkey 1-21-03

Why don't you like me, big sis? Look, I'll put it like this... You know when you have an annoying cold and you can't shake it off? No matter what you do, it just stays around for weeks and weeks? Yeah. Well, you're nothing like that. You're more like genital warts...

Mandy, meet Dave... by DaveMonkey 1-21-03

Hi! You must be DaveMonkey. I've heard so much about you. I bet you heard about me, haven't you? What have you heard? Was it about the time I spat semen in a monkey's face? Well, I'm damned if I'm gonna swallow a monkey's jungle juice... Several Hours Later... ...Or that dead guy? He wasn't really dead! Boy did I get a shock, I was humping him at the time... ...Take one down, pass it around. Thirty six bottles of cyanide on the wall...

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"Chance!? You had your chance, and you gobbled its balls!"

The last one's punchline is from Clerks.

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Sex Piano.

I won't tell if you won't tell.

Tell who?

he doesnt know.

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Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

I dunno. I think dead people have been humped in things before Clerks.

It shoulda been 37 bottles of cyanide.

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Nice teeth Shane, now I'll just kill your old mum...

"Was it about the time I spat semen in a monkey's face? Well, I'm damned if I'm gonna swallow a monkey's jungle juice..."

- that really cracked me up!

Thanks for the positive feedback, people. Always does me good.

As for the Clerks thing: Well, I am a big fan of the movie, but I didn't intentionally steal from it.

Being honest, I just needed to take Mandy's prattling perversions to the next level. Necrosphilia seemed like the next level.

As a Treat, here:

Something You don't Hear Everyday... by DaveMonkey 1-24-03

Are you ignoring me? Not really, I'm just preoccupied with attempting to grow a tumour... Fair enough... Hey! Did I ever tell you about the time I had sex with my sister? I don't care what she said. I didn't do anything of the sort... Couldn't you at least just pretend you did? Please, I need this...

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"Chance!? You had your chance, and you gobbled its balls!"