Well it took 120 contests but yet again I am in charge.

Welcome to...........BATTLE PLANET!
Your goal while staying on battle planet is to be funny. And also to be judged on a points based system.
You can earn points through these catergories:
A MAXIMUM of 20 points for using only kaddar characters.
A MAXIMUM of 20 points for using only dexx characters.
Up to but probably NOT 50 points for making a comic containing no fewer than 12 words but no more than 18.
A MAXIMUM of 35 points for making referece to a space race.
10 bonus points for making a 5 comic series. No more than 5 no less than 5.
-25 points if your name is devin or punkrockskaboy
A MAXIMUM 15 points for taking a character I use in my comics and bringing him into your 5 part series. The characters use in a single comic will not gain you any points. He MUST be used in a series.
A MINIMUM 15 points for making your comic a love story. The more over the top it is the more I'm going to laugh and the more points you will earn.

While the catergories show the MAXIMUM number of points you can receive for each given rule if its not funny I'm not gonna give you any points for it. Whoever has the highest point total wins. Use as many or as few of the catergories as you like. However, the more categories you use the more points you're likely to get. The most important thing is to be funny.

Judging will be Sunday night around whenever I feel like it.

Oooh this looks like fun.

I offer my congratulations to kaufman in advance.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Just because I'm already forming an idea? Give it time; others will have better ones.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Huzzah!

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All Your Banned Users Are Belong To Stripcreator.com

Who would name their baby punkrockskaboy? I have it on fairly good authority that the stripper who goes by that handle has a completely different name. Now whether or not his name is "Devin" is left as an exercise for the interested reader.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I am WAY too lazy to pull this one off (and, judging on the results of the last two contests, nowhere near as funny as I think I am...), so I leave it to the genii in the crowd (ie, kaufman, Scyess, etc.) to make me laugh. Do it, ladies and gentlemen! Make me laugh, dammit! HA HA HA HA HA!!!

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I has a flavor!

Bastard. Just for that, I'm entering my entire collection, so there!

In da club pockets fullah dhmub got my mind made up by Zegota 5-22-03

I don't get this CC, alot of rules and I barely even read them. I read 'em but I forgot most of 'em. The only thing I remember is something about a love story. Yeah, as if that's gonna happen here So, do you wanna touch my todger? Sure

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

My standards for judging whats funny aren't very high. It doesn't take much just look at any of my comics. I'm very easily amused.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

CC 188: Just An Old-Fashioned Alien Love Story Comic by MaxPayne 5-22-03

I was wondering... Yes, dear? ........ Go ahead, ask me... Anal probe? It's a Space Race 2000! Please!

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

Space Farm, Baby (Ep 1: Broken Haiku) by umfumdisi 5-22-03

First chimp in space and you are so calm--I love you. LIFTOFF! Watch your ass, Sputnik.

Space Farm, Baby (Ep 2: Telestory) by umfumdisi 5-22-03

Telemetry?.....Check. Telephony?.....Check. Telemundo? Check!

Space Farm, Baby (Ep 3: Food For Thought) by umfumdisi 5-22-03

...this vast nothing, this empty SPACE... ...all heaven spread out before me... ...oh well, time for a snack.

Space Farm, Baby(Ep 4: Prelaunch Lifeform Selection Process) by umfumdisi 5-22-03

*purr* *chew* *cheep* I don't know about you guys, but I feel like we're being watched. *blink* *moo*

Space Farm, Baby (Ep 5: Our Hero's Triumphant Return) by umfumdisi 5-22-03

*SPLASH!* Mr. Anzee, could I ask one question? Certainly, but, please, call me Chip. Were you able to find and destroy the Russian space satellite? The Russian What What?

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 188: Star-Crossed Lovers by BigEvilDan 5-22-03

My beloved girlfriend has gone off to be the first woman on Mars. I will call to her in the heavens and tell her how lonely I am... I MISS YOU LAURA! I LOVE YOU!! God, what a drama queen.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

The Human Race by kaufman 5-22-03

I love you. I also love you. There's only one way to decide who will win my hand in marriage and who will father the human race. First one to Earth wins.

Rocket To Me by kaufman 5-22-03

How can we race to Earth? We have no ship. Let's check out that shop that opened up in the next panel. WELCOME TO LAUNCH AND LAUNCH MILLENIUM LAUNCH!!! I CAN LAUNCH YOU, BUT I ONLY HAVE ONE SHIP. YOU'LL HAVE TO SHARE!!!

Vacuum-Packed by kaufman 5-22-03

Five, Four, Three, Two, One, ... Liftoff! Why aren't you screaming? Remember "Alien?" You just can't hear me.

Episode IV: A New Dope by kaufman 5-22-03

Hey, get a load of this! We're carrying a smaller copy of our spaceship on board. Inside are probably some mini-usses, and an even tinier ship with some even tinier usses, ad infinitum. Yeah, and our whole ship is flying in a giant ship and being looked at by some gigantic us. Far out. Let's smoke another banana. Here you go.

Split Decision by kaufman 5-22-03

As the rocket landed on Earth, I was faced with a dilemma. How to break the tie? Solomon was right! I'll divide the prize. The monkey got my hand ... Hey! A banana holder. And now you know why so many of you seem to be descended from asses.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Untitled by presidentevil 5-20-03

Another average day at Umbrella Inc. Umbrella CEO: Ok, I want you to make another virus, but nothing too original. Scientist: No problem. I have my best men on the case. In the next room. mix teh ch3mic@ls t0 m@k3 teh virus. w00t!!! A few days later. Umbrella CEO: You're so fired. Scientist: It's not my fault that we're an equal opportunity employer.

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President Evil CODE:Monica I'm not competitive. In fact, I'm the least competitive, so I win.

CC 188: The First Ever Space Race by Chi_The_Cynic 5-23-03

In the beginning... On your marks! Get set! GO! I think I love the referee...

:q! quit without saving - part 1 by kramer_vs_kramer 5-23-03

My sweet, I think I love you, but tomorrow I must fly to Pluto before the Hungarians do. It's dangerous, and I may never return. But I wanted you to know my true feelings before I left. Oh, darling. Just say those magical words, and I'll leave this damned space race to be with you forever. RAAR!!! AQUA TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!

:w! write override read-only - part 2 by kramer_vs_kramer 5-23-03

Boss, I'm not going to Pluto tomorrow. I want to stay here on Earth to spend my life with AQUA TOBOR. Are you mad? If those damn Hungarians get to Pluto before us, we'll be the laughing stock of the entire Balkan space industry. I don't care. I love AQUA TOBOR and he loves me. And I want to stay with him forever. Screw the mission. No chance. You're going to space whether you like it or not. I will not jeopardise this mission for the sake of some schoolgirl crush. I'm sorry, but you'll need to find another astronaut. I quit. Curses! I don't stand a chance with AQUA TOBOR with that feathered freak around.

:23 go to line 23 - Part 3 by kramer_vs_kramer 5-23-03

A message from my true love! That'll cheer me up. <click!> "RAAR!!! AQUA TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!"

:i insert - Part 4 by kramer_vs_kramer 5-23-03

Sweetie! I got your message, I'm here! I'm - hold on. Where's AQUA TOBOR? Hah! It was I who orchestrated this little meeting. You see, AQUA TOBOR loves me alone. I can't have you ruining everything. Tonight - you die! What? This can't be true! You're mad. AQUA TOBOR will save me. I took the liberty of ensuring AQUA TOBOR would be... otherwise engaged for the next few days. He can't save you. RAAR? "All systems fully operational. Now at cruising speed. Time to reach Pluto... 5 hours and counting."

:/ find - Part 5 by kramer_vs_kramer 5-23-03

You blasted my true love into space? How dare you? Never again will I be brutally buggered by him. Sob! Hold on. Buggered? Yes, that's what AQUA TOBOR does. Aggravated sexual assault. And you enjoy that? Of course. Now, we were about to fight to the death for AQUA TOBOR's love? Actually, I've kind of gone off him.

The True story of the Fantastic Four by mmyers 5-23-03

So, I, Dr. Reed Richards am going to fly a spaceship into outer space with my wife Sue, her brother Johnny, and my old roommate, Ben Grimm. You can call us..the Fantastic Four! Actually, we aren't very fantastic at present. Maybe when we get back. Let's just call ourselves the Above Average Four. Would that make you happy, Sue?

3.0 Four by mmyers 5-23-03

All systems appear to be ready. Ben and Johnny are safely stowed in the back. I'm curious, Reed, what exactly are you expecting to happen while we're in space? Why, we'll get bombbarded with radiation which, if my calculations are correct, should give us powers of some sort, barring any miscalculations. What did you just say? I said we're trying to win the space race. Oh.

The Human Torch by mmyers 5-23-03

Well, it looks like the mission was a success. Let's see what my power is. *crack* Ok, it looks like my arm just came off, so I'll be Mr Fantastic. Johnny? I can make my body catch on fire. FLAME ON! AHHHHHHHH! Sue, what's your power? sssssssssss

Invisible...Girl by mmyers 5-23-03

Sue? I'm right here. I can turn myself invisible. See? No. Exactly. Also, if I talk, and talk, and talk for long enough without interruption, I can levitate the entire ground. See? Look down. Oh, that's useful. Let's just call you Invisible Girl for short. Ben?

Ben Grimm is the Thing: excelsior! by mmyers 5-23-03

What's your new super power, Ben? Ben? Why don't you kiss my ass, Reed.

This was almost so nerdy that I didn't enter it, but if you know the story, who's more nerdy, hmm? OK, me.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Just Love Part 1 by drunkenboat 5-23-03

There once was a giant fish--its back was one billion dollars across, lengthwise. Its name was Roe; it carried on its immense back an ocean. You wouldn't believe its enormous tentacled fishcock. In the ocean on Roe's back lived two fish of little consequence--hereafter known as Mum and Dad--with oldstyle fins and gills. Their frenetic fishfucking fabricated five thousand fish and a third. This. This. The third was an allegorically ugly fucking duckling. This is neither what it looked like nor how it saw itself and they weren't the same either.  hi  deous

Just Love Part 2 by drunkenboat 5-23-03

Like all ugly unloved children it turned to sex for surrogate nourishment of self-esteem. It fucked and was fucked. Love? No, that's devildick, duckface. Fisted and was fisted. Love? Is it in yet, sweetie? So forth, so on, whatnot have you. Turn your head and cough. You're not one of the medics. Cough. Love?

Just Love Part 3 by drunkenboat 5-23-03

Oh, the games kids play. Fuck... Fuck... Fuck... Fuck... Fuck... This.

Just Love Part 4 by drunkenboat 5-23-03

This is what the kid really looked like. Kids don't have a face. It's usually painted on in the cocoon of gonadolescence. Usually donning their parents oldstyle fins and gills. Love? Then life's devildicked henchmen lift the curtain for good to an audience of autumn and the cycle of seasons... I fucked him. She fucked me. Lo and behold, the kid has blossomed into a beautiful blonde buck who hates both injustice and mercy and who cannot fuck... Not omnipotent... I am Impotent! Captain Impotent!

Just Love Part 5--The End by drunkenboat 5-23-03

Captain Impotent fights for justice with the sublimated unsatisfied sexual energy that only an impotent man has, aided by his crusty dried dick, Clappy. You're dripping. The populace yearns for some of his good old corporeal punishment, but Captain Impotent has vowed chastity until injustice is vanquished forever, though he couldn't have sex if he wanted to anyway. With your wrinkly pussy you can't... I mean, I love justice too much to be your lover. Whatever, bitch. His is a sweaty love affair with justice, the passion of which dwarfs even Roe's gargantuan fishcock. Look, it's a swan.