All comics by sonesh123

 

by sonesh123
12-14-10
Interviewer to Suburban Guy
Who is your personal idol?
TIGER WOODS....after the scandal
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-15-10
SoBo Chick meets Suburban Guy at the Pub
You know what, Shaadi.com is tying up with Facebook
Really,..wow. What are they coming up with?
Apparently, now you would be able to filter profiles based on the number of FB friends one has and number of comments one gets on his/her FB updates
This will enable users to make a more INFORMED choice
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-15-10
SoBo chick is SOCIALIZING in a PUB
So, what do you do?
I am a BANKER.
Thats not an OCCUPATION. I bank with HSBC so I am a BANKER too..infact everybody is. What do you REALLY do?
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-16-10
Suburban Guy meets SoBo chick after Office in the evening
You know which is the only job allowing you to CHOOSE your own CUSTOMER, say F@#K OFF to those you dont like...
and make THEM pay for where YOU want to go?
No Idea....but i would like to take up this PRIVILEGED JOB. What is it?
The MUMBAI RICKSHAWALLAH's job......Interested?
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-17-10
SoBo Chick is learning BANKING JARGON
What do you mean by DEBIT and CREDIT?
Let me explain with a PRACTICAL EXAMPLE involving YOU.
DEBIT is your ACT of RAPING your FATHER's BANK ACCOUNT mercilessly & repeatedly and.....
....CREDIT is when your UNFORTUNATE FATHER deposits money in the same account as he is FORCED to enjoy the RAPE.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-18-10
SoBo Chick meets Suburban Guy in a depressing mood
Hey..how's it goin with Jenny?
You dont wanna know :(
Why..?? What happened ?
She wants our relationship to be restricted to FB. She finds me CUTER and FUNNIER on it.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-19-10
Suburban Guy is chatting with his AMERICAN Colleague in OFFICE
You AMERICAN's are single handedly responsible for adding to the ENVIRONMENTAL WOES
What do you mean?
If only you guys would start WASHING it instead of WIPING............
.....it would save atleatst 1/2 a tree per AMERICAN per YEAR, considering the FACT that you use 50 pounds of toilet paper per year.
WTF :(

 

SoBo Chick meets the Suburban Guy
Hi, I am SoBo Chick
Hi, I am Suburban Guy
by sonesh123, 12-19-10

 

by sonesh123
12-19-10
Suburban Guy meets his colleague at the Pub
Hey, whats up? Whats new with you these days?
I have been thinking on restructuring my financial portfolio lately.
Ok. Need any help on the same.
Yeah..Where do you normally focus your investments on?
Wine and Women
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-21-10
Suburban Guy is giving an interview
......and hence i believe i would be the right fit for your organization.
I am afraid, your resume demonstrates that your academic performance has been CONSISTENTLY INCONSISTENT?
I have had my share of lows, but there have been significant achievements too.
What do you consider your most CONSISTENT ACHIEVEMENT till date?
I always stood first in FANCY DRESS COMPETITION's back in School.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-22-10
Suburban Guy's AMBITIOUS FUTURE PLANS
I have been thinking a lot about my future lately
Really, so ..have you come up with something interesting?
Yeah, I do have a very PROFITABLE BUSINESS PLAN in place for the next 5 years.
Thats GREAT. What is it?
SMUGGLING GARLIC and ONION's. Considering the current prices, they will become RARE commodities in the next 5 years.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-23-10
SoBo Chick meets Suburban Guy post work
Hey whats up? What have you been doing lately?
Doin good. Hey..can you explain the concept of "ASSET DEPRECIATION"?
Sure..Let me explain with an example. Have you observed that YOUR BF has been spending less and less on YOU over the years?
Yeah. Its surprisingly true. But i think its because of the RECESSION
No. Its because your VALUE has DEPRECIATED in his EYES over the years. Thats precisely whats ASSET DEPRECIATION means.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-23-10
SoBo Chick meets Suburban Guy at the Special XMAS Mass
Hey...MERRY CHRISTMAS. So what are plans for today evening?
I am spending the evening with family and friends.
Ok..Thats cool. You must have got a lot of presents.
Yeah. Loads of gifts. What are you gifting me this christmas?
I will LIKE & COMMENT on all your FB STATUS UPDATES for 2011, even the most UNFATHOMABLE ones
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-25-10
Suburban Guy is NETWORKING in the neighborhood PUB
.....So what do you do for a living?
I am working as an INVESTMENT BANKER. What do you do?
For a living.... I make friends, travel, listen to music, watch movies ........
Err....I meant where do you WORK for a LIVING?
"WORK" and "LIVING" dont go together. WORK actually brings me CLOSER to DEATH.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-27-10
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by sonesh123
12-28-10
Suburban guy takes SoBo Chick out for DINNER
So, what have you ordered tonight?
Oh..i love the PASTA and PIZZA MARGHERITA here. Have ordered the same. What did you order?
Jain Sambar, Jain Dosa and Jain Idli with Jain Chutney
What??...Since when did you turn jain?
I didnt. They have a 40% off on any items without ONION and GARLIC these days.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-28-10
Suburban Guy is being Interviewed for a JOB in an MNC
Sir, I have applied for the post of CUSTOMER RELATIONSHIP MANAGER (CRM).
Oh thats nice. Do you have any experience in RELATIONHSIP MANAGEMENT?
Yes Sir, I have more than 3 years of experience in managing over 400 relationships.
Well thats interesting. How did you manage to do that?
Through Facebook. I manage precisely 520 relationships with friends on a daily basis
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-30-10
Suburban Guy had called the Technical Support Guy for fixing his Desktop
Sir, I have fixed your machine. There was a virus infection.
Ok. Thanks. What would be your charges?
Sir, only 2000 Rs.
WHAT?? You just installed an antivirus, scanned my pc and removed a virus. I could've bought the Antivirus CD myself and done it for less than Rs.100. Whats Rs.2000 for?
Sir, 100 Rs for the Antivirus CD, 100 bucks for scanning and removing the virus, 1800 bucks is for knowing which VIRUS DEFINITION to download in order to remove the VIRUS
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-31-10
Suburban Guy is networking in the PUB post office hours
I work with a Private Equity (PE) firm in Mumbai. Not the most interesting job to talk about. Practically ZERO Social life.
Oh. I have a few friends working for PE firms. Bro..they always fear IMPOTENCY. Practically..no chicks in their lives.
Bro...in PE firms, we all become literally "SECTOR AGNOSTIC" when it comes to chicks.
What do you mean?
It simply means "KANTABAI BHI CHALEGI".......
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-31-10
Suburban Guy is on a business tour to Kashmir and visits a WAR RAVAGED ZONE with his Kashmiri Counterpart...
So much damage and destruction. They have turned HEAVEN into a LIVING HELL
Yes, they want to create another PAKISTAN in KASHMIR...a place worser than HELL
What is the primary motive behind this constant destruction and terrorism?
Pakistan wants to create civil unrest in our beautiful valley
If only Pakistan outsourced Kashmir's administration to the likes of Shiv Sena, Mayawati or Laloo...civil unrest would've been created without such massive destruction.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
1-02-11
Suburban Guy bumps into his friend - Sid's little sister
Hey...its been a long time since i saw you. How are you doing?
I am doing good SWEETY. How have you been? How is Sid doing?
I am good. Sid is actually celebrating his BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT in LIFE so far.
WOW...did he finally get PROMOTED at work?
No. He is GETTING MARRIED. He FINALLY managed to get a girl say YES to HIM.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
1-04-11
Suburban guy is chatting up with a colleague in the neighborhood pub
All human beings are UNEQUAL. Facebook justifies that.
What makes you say so?
I recently got the BEST EMPLOYEE AWARD from my organization and posted this on my FB status. I got just 2 LIKES including myself.
Ok. Thats disheartening
..while a HOT friend of mine was unwell and she posted "I HAVE FEVER" on facebook....and she got 32 LIKES and 27 comments.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
1-05-11
SoBo Chick meets a depressed Suburban Guy
Hey ...
Hey,..whats the matter? Whats bothering you?
A colleague of mine at work resigned today. He was really good to me.
Oh..thats sad. So you really miss him.
Yeah..i would miss his amazing PORN collection, all the BITCHING about our BOSSES, and the MONEY he used to LEND me without a bother.....
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
1-06-11
A CITIBANK RELATIONSHIP MANAGER visits Suburban Guy
Hi, So you are Ritesh from Citibank?
Yes Sir. I am here to discuss some really interesting HIGH RETURN INVESTMENT SCHEMES with you.
Really, thats awesome. Can i click a picture with you?
Yes sir, I am honoured. But why would you make such a request?
You've got BALLS, bro. Going by CITIBANK's current reputation, you still have HOPES with me??? You're an epitome of OPTIMISM. This PIC would be for my Facebook Status.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
1-08-11
Suburban Guy bumps into SoBo Chick in the neighborhood Library
Hey..how come you are in the library today?
I am looking up some books on Mutual Funds (MF). Hey, can you explain me in simple language on the concept of MF's?
I will give you a practical example. You know that I am dating atleast 10 chicks at any given point in time. This ensures that even if some relationships go bad, i still have some left to rely on
Yeah...sometimes i detest that i am freinds with a promiscuous bastard like you.
Rather than promiscuity, I would term it as the MF concept - You dont put all your EGGS in one BASKET. MF's use this while investing your money, i use it in my daily life.
WTF :)

 

by sonesh123
1-10-11
Suburban Guy is giving an interview in an MNC
...Sir, I have applied for the post of Senior Financial Analyst in your esteemed organization.
I have been through your resume. Can you explain the consistent score of 50% marks in your university exams?
Sir, i am a slow writer & hence I could complete only 60% of the paper. But you can appreciate the accuracy considering i got 50% out of completion of only 60% information.
Ok. Now, how do you explain your inconsistent professional career? You have probably worked in a new company every year.
Precisely Sir. I am a dynamic professional who swears by the adage, "A Rolling Stone gathers NO MOSS". So there......
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
1-11-11
Suburban guy is discussing New year resolutions with SoBo Chick
Hey..did you hear that Rajesh's NEW YEAR resolution is to get married this year?
Yeah, He told me that he is looking for someone who is GOOD LOOKING, UNAMBITIOUS and doesnt mind talking long hours on phone.
Oh. Then i may just know the right girl he is looking for.
Really...who is it?
Our OFFICE RECEPTIONIST. Infact this is a common trait in most office receptionists. He has a large pool to choose from.
WTF :(

 

Suburban guy is discussing his favorite TV Shows with a Friend (with a 6 year old kid)
My favorite TV channels these days are Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Pogo and Colors. Infact my WIFE & KID have threatened to DISOWN me if i watch anything else..
WTF :(
by sonesh123, 1-14-11

 

by sonesh123
1-17-11
Suburban Guy's BOSS has drowned in the beach while on an Office Picnic. He prays to GOD and an angel appears.
Sire, my boss has drowned....
I know my son. I am pleased by your FAITH & PRAYERS. I will find him. Dont worry
The Angel dives into the beach and gets back with a dead body. He asks Suburban Guy if HE is the BOSS
Yes Sire, HE is my BOSS.
Son, I am afraid HE is DEAD and i dont have powers to bring people back from the DEAD.
Awesome...Thanks Sire, Now, my PRAYERS have truly been ANSWERED.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
1-17-11
Suburban Guy is discussing INVESTMENTs with a colleague during lunchbreak
If you were in YOUR PERFECT WORLD with infinite WEALTH at your disposal, where would you typically INVEST?
I would have invested in GOOGLE....infact would've bought all its shares. What about you?
In MY PERFECT WORLD, MEGAN FOX would have had an IPO and i would have bought all her shares.
WTF :(

 

SoBo Chick asks Suburban Guy to explain her the concept of MOBILE NUMBER PORTABILITY (MNP) which is launched today in India
Its simple. Wouldnt you feel amazing if you had an option of switching to a "NEW & IMPROVED" Boyfriend everytime you get bored and still get to call him JOHN. MNP does just that to CELL PHONES
WTF :(
by sonesh123, 1-19-11

 

With the advent of Mobile Number Portability, the mobile service providers are competing with each other on VALUE ADDED SERVICES (VAS).......
I am switching to "KEEDAFONE". They stream free PORN to frustrated office-goers between 5-8 pm daily.
WTF :(
by sonesh123, 1-21-11

 

SoBo Chick creates a ruckus in the local PUB by slapping the BARTENDER. Suburban guy arrives late and realizes.......
I asked the BARTENDER to suggest me a DRINK and the B***ARD asked me if i would like to have "sex on the beach".
WTF :(
by sonesh123, 1-23-11

 

Suburban guy walks up to an AMERICAN colleague at work and says with great pride........
You guys can BEAT us at EVERYTHING ELSE but NOT at MAKING BABIES. According to 2011 statistics, we give birth to a record 51 babies per minute.
WTF :(
by sonesh123, 1-24-11

 

Suburban Guy bumps into a surprisingly cheerful BRITISH colleague on REPUBLIC DAY. On asking the reason, he realized....
After TOLERATING mumbai for a year, i have realized that the BRITISH did a wise thing to LEAVE india for good. So I always celebrate your Republic and Independence Days.
WTF :(
by sonesh123, 1-25-11

 

SoBo Chick ensured a NO TV DAY at her HOME today. Suburban Guy asked her on the experience.....
Dont Ask. I think, the last time my MOM and DAD would've probably been as restless..was during the time of my delivery. They are just waiting to get it done and over with.
WTF :(
by sonesh123, 1-29-11

 

Suburban Guy is remembering a friend from US who was pursuing an ADVANCED DJ Course...
Before HE left, he told me that his school promised GIG's at the PLAYBOY MANSION post course completion. Last heard, he was hosting illegal ALTAF RAJA nites at the DESI neighborhood in New Jersey.
WTF :(
by sonesh123, 1-31-11

 

by sonesh123
2-10-11
Suburban Guy bumps into SoBo Chick on a nice february morning....
Amazing weather...isint it?
Huh...!! You could've said that more enthusiastically. I dont understand why your comments lack EXPRESSION?
Yeah..i know. I try and fix that through Facebook. You will realize that my "COMMENT'S" are full of smileys
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
2-13-11
Suburban Guy was chatting with his colleague in office....
Hey, on your recommendation, i went to see Kalaghoda festival yesterday with my wife.
Oh..great. So, I am sure you would have managed to see something interesting.
I tried to see something interesting, but all i could manage to lay my eyes on was PEOPLE.....LOTS of PEOPLE. Infact, after coming back, my wife and me slept on separate beds to enjoy some SOLITUDE.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
2-14-11
Suburban guy is having a word with his BOSS......
I have concerns regarding my SALARY APPRAISAL.
CONCERNS??? You are one of the PRIVELEGED FEW who have actually got a RAISE.
RAISE?? ...Are you KIDDING ME??....It hasnt even been ADJUSTED for INFLATION.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
2-15-11
Suburban guy bumps into a colleague who is in a sombre mood. They start chatting...
Things aren't rosy between me and my wife. We aren't on speaking terms these days.
I see... I am sure things would get better progressively. Cheer up..its just a phase.
I doubt that. The COLD WAR is infact HEATING up. She just UNFREINDED me on Facebook.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
2-16-11
Suburban guy goes to the BANK to apply for a personal loan...
Sir, i realize that you are looking for a personal loan for yourself. Have you got the necessary documents?
Yes, I have. You can review them.
Banker reviews the documents and says...
Sir, I am afraid. Looking at your PAST repayment records and your HUMBLE savings in the bank, only our MICROFINANCE division would be able to give you a loan. Please get in touch with them.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
2-17-11
SoBo Chick meets Suburban guy at the sidewalk in the evening....
Did you hear, HONDA is calling back nearly 60 thousand HONDA CITY cars for FAULTY ENGINE PARTS.
Yeah, I read it in the papers today. Surprising, isint it?
If only, GOD had such a CORRECTION FACILITY for MORTALS, i would've sent my entire FAMILY for the same.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
2-19-11
SoBo chick is in an enthusiastic mood after India wins against Bangladesh.....
Hey...i wish for a INDIA Vs ENGLAND world cup final at Wankhede.
Why specifically ENGLAND?
That way..i would finally get to see DAVID BECKHAM play.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
2-21-11
Suburban guy bumps into his colleage who got married recently.....
Hey, its been a while since i bumped into you. Hows life?
Going good. Hey, me and a bunch of friends are doing a movie marathon this WEEKEND, if you dont have plans....join in?
B**tard, you know that i am married. How could you ask me this question? I dont have a WEEKEND anymore, damn it!!
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
2-23-11
Suburban Guy bumps into SoBo Chick post work.....
Hey, where have you been lately? We are meeting almost after a week.
Yeah, have been busy. Hey...I have been noticing that your conversations are more or less 3-4 sentences long. Whats the deal?
Oh..really. BLAME it on those restrictions on Facebook status updates. DAMN!!...my thoughts are restricted to 420 characters these days.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
2-24-11
Suburban Guy and SoBo Chick were at the CROSSWORD's Bookstore...
I just had a HILARIOUS experience at the AUTOBIOGRAPHY section.
Why?.... What happened?
I was surprised to find a book on Atal Behari Vajpayee although in a worn out state, Obama was retailing at 30% discount and they were giving Bush free along with a 60% discount on Tony Blair.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
2-24-11
Suburban guy bumps into SoBo chick who has been trying to understand Economic Times lately.....
Hey, so you have been trying to understand some financial concepts these days....thats nice. Let me know if you need help
Yeah. Infact, can you tell me what is difference between COUNTRY RISK and MARKET RISK?
Its simple. Lets say your FATHER threatens to STOP SPENDING on you..thats called COUNTRY RISK and if your Boyfriend does the same, thats called MARKET RISK.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
2-28-11
Suburban guy and SoBo Chick are talking about their common friends..
Hey..have you heard from Ravi since he got married? I heard that he is now a father of a 5 year old.
Yeah, he is. He has a cute son who keeps bugging him to take him on the aeroplane, ever since he saw it on TV. Ravi makes sure that no one talks about planes in front of him.
Ravi should learn from Rahul. He has convinced his SON that the view from the nearby SKYWALK and the aeroplane are one the same. He takes his son on the skywalk every evening. Both of them are happy.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
3-01-11
Suburban Guy meets SoBo Chick after a long day at work
My organization is quite SCARING and CARING at the same time.
What makes you say that?
Our Admin and HR teams have an INDEFINITE supply of CROCIN's for our EMPLOYEES.
WTF :(

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