All comics by atomiclunch

Profile

 

by atomiclunch
4-06-16
Hi, I'm The Undertaker, I'm supposed to come here for some kind of stress test before the bout with ragu.
Nice to meet you. Let's get right to it, then!
SHAZAM!
Oh god, it's chunky!
BREAKING SHIT! HOLY NEWS! The Undertaker has bitten the dust!

 

by atomiclunch
4-06-16
The next day...
Rags, you've been awfully chipper today.
Haven't you heard? The Undertaker is history!
That IS good news. It'll save you some money, soiling your undies every time there's a funny noise must get costly!
I don't know what you're talking about! I'm just glad I didn't have to hurt him!
dun dun DUUNN!
*ffffffffffpbblllbbllblbbllll. pbbl* *plap*
Oh, this isn't over! I'm coming 4u..eh..er.. 4U!

 

by atomiclunch
4-07-16
And just who the hell are you?
I am the SON of the Undertaker! or possibly the daughter, i'm not sure, really... but I'm here to TAKE YOU DOWN!
?
Could you do me a solid? I'll drop trou, you tell me what you see down there. It's about time I got a definitive answer for that.
Meanwhile...
Where did I go WRONG with that kid? I may have to come back and finish this myself!

 

by atomiclunch
4-07-16
How's that?
Good. Really good! Now, do what I asked...
What? The hand? You were serious? That's kinda, ewww...
I don't care! DO IT!
I'm yours, Chen! Take me now!
I've waited so long! Let me get a rubber... and the tartar sauce!

 

by atomiclunch
4-09-16
Sally, it's time.
You're right, it IS time!
WHO ELSE WANTS SDME?!

 

by atomiclunch
4-10-16
This week it's the South Pacific!
...in spite of the nuclear testing here in the 50's, this has become a thriving tourist destination.
I.. see.
Try our glowing coconuts. They're delicious, I've been eating them for years!
What?
Uh, nothing. Glowing Coconuts would be a great band name. Yeah...

 

by atomiclunch
4-12-16
For heaven's sake, Randolph, he's a dog! He does that all the time.

 

by atomiclunch
4-13-16
...so, all those years of falling from cliffs, slamming into tunnel paintings, self-immolation and such really took a toll on my body.
So this?
I started this. Less stress, air conditioning and a great crew to take care of the grunt work. Good fit for me, all in all. I really feel like I've come out ahead.
Glad you're doing well. Say, can I upsize my meal?
You bet! That's a 20-piece Roadrunner nuggets with fries and a large Acme iced tea. Thanks for choosing Roadrunner king!

 

by atomiclunch
4-13-16
It's been 6 months since the night that Chen "accidentally" invaded Phreaky's... other... orifice.
All gone. Everyone. Everything. So that I could go where, theoretically, no man had gone before.
6 months to reflect on that moment and the decisions leading to it. To ask the BIG question.
So much destruction. Such loss. All for what?
Was it worth it?
The best goddamn sex in history, that's what! You bet Phreaky's ass it was!

 

by atomiclunch
4-14-16
Nope, don't have any.
Look, could you just check for me?
Fine. see for yourself.
I don't have your fingers in here.
If I give you my email, could you let me know when you get a couple of good ones. Especially a middle. A good, long middle finger.

 

by atomiclunch
4-14-16
"So, what can you tell me about this?"
Uhh, nothing, officer.
Earlier...
POSTAGE DUE?! HIT IT AGAIN! KEEP HITTING IT UNTIL IT STOPS GOING IN!
I just found him like this.

 

by atomiclunch
4-15-16
Jeez, Mr. Chen. What happened?
The silent "e", Ethan. Never underestimate the silent "e".
Dear, did you do that thing I asked?
Oh, yes. 1% say "Hot!", 5% say "Pass", 94% poked out their eyes with sharp sticks at the mere thought of it.
What? You said "Chen, I want a stripper poll for myself".

 

by atomiclunch
4-15-16
Hey Jenni, Bob over in Logistics tells me that the higher-ups are raving about your work on the Ravensworth account. I think there's a promotion in your future!
Thanks, Tallulah. Say, there's something I've been meaning to ask you.
Yeah?
Yeah, why do you carry that coffee around? Your arms aren't long enough to lift it to your mouth.
*sniff*

 

by atomiclunch
4-18-16
*purrrrr*
C'mon, let's get this done.
*mew*
Well, it's opposite day. In with you!
*me-YOWZA!*
Good kitty!

 

by atomiclunch
4-19-16
*gurgle*
Damn, it feels like that burrito I had for lunch is having a knock-down drag-out with this mornings eggs!
UNNGH! AAAHHH!
Hm, my bad, it's the burrito and the Sausage Stigmatabiscuit.

 

by atomiclunch
4-20-16
Oh yeah, this is going to be good.
So easy...
Dammit! I can't do it when he's sleeping so peacefully!
zzzzzzzzzzz

 

by atomiclunch
4-22-16
An unnamed graveyard...
Hey UT, s'up?
Chyna? 'the hell are you doing here?
Meh, overindulgence. I'm dead, and on top of that, some clown called ragu4u is trash talking me.
You too? I was just getting ready to reanimate and deal with him since my kid fucked up. Wanna come with?
I thought you'd never ask. I'll give 'im the "clenis clothesline"!
I'll deliver the "tombstone piledriver", now with real tombstone! Man, I wish they marked graves with piledrivers.

 

by atomiclunch
4-23-16
knockknockknock!
Go ahead, answer it!
Whaddaya want, UT?
It's time, Rags. Come with me!
Take it, Ragu!
I don't wanna!
Clench up, sauceboy, it gets bumpy from here!

 

by atomiclunch
4-24-16
I understand you're here about the ad we ran on Craigslist.
Yes, I believe I can be a real asset here.
Frankly, you don't LOOK all that impressive.
This is my secret identity. I don't wish to intimidate the general populace on a continuous basis.
Well, not everyone makes the cut to be an agent of the Superior Paladins Of Righteous Karma. Our interview process is quite grueling. Furthermore, we expec-
Agents of S.P.O.R.K.?

 

by atomiclunch
4-25-16
I'm Captain Cleanfreak, by the way. So, off with the disguise and let's see what you can do!
Okay, here goes!
Holy Bleach and Swiffers! You're Pee Fing -
AAIIIEEE! You're In! Girlfriday, fetch the "Shout"!
YES!

 

by atomiclunch
4-25-16
Sir, the next candidate is ready.
Thanks, Butcher Bunny. Who is it?
It appears to be, uh, Justice of the.. Dot?
Interesting name, very well.
We're not drawing in the really imposing looking ones, are we? You look like a schoolgirl.
Technically, I AM a schoolgirl. I'm still working on my law degree.

 

by atomiclunch
4-25-16
OK Jot-dot, what power are you bringing to the table?
It's probably easier to show you. I just need a volunteer to be a bad guy.
I'll do it, Cap'n!
Good deal, BB, go take one for the team.
Okay, Dot. What now?
Just come after me like a super villain... And my name's not Dot!

 

by atomiclunch
4-26-16
Hmm, not Dot? Justice of the decimal? the Point? Maybe the speck?
Hey baby! Nice rack!! _______________ Watch it, Bad Guy Don't make me come over there! ________________ Why? Whatcha gonna do? Jiggle those bewbs some more?
OH! Justice of the Per -
That's IT, Mr. Man! You're goin' DOWN! _______________ Sure! Just lift that skirt a little higher! Heh! _______________ HAI-
- iod. HA! I get it!
YAAAHHH!!! *SPLATCH* _______________ Oy vey!!

 

by atomiclunch
4-26-16
Wow, it's like the -
Lithuania incident, yes, it is.
I like her! What say you, Butch?
Oh, she's in, she's definitely in.
"DAMMIT, MY NAME'S NOT DOT!"
"Welcome to S.P.O.R.K., Dot!"
It'll be good to have one of these on OUR side for a change.

 

by atomiclunch
4-26-16
Sir, this is our next candidate.
Well, yee-haww! Thanks, Cos'!
Interesting uniform.
Naww, this's just my day job duds, hoss.
I see, what's your day job?
Ropin' dogies, of course.

 

by atomiclunch
4-26-16
Really? Ropin' dogies is a thing?
Of course, been doing it since I was knee-high to a skeeter.
Why?
Well sheeit, it's easier to fuck 'em if they cain't kick!

 

by atomiclunch
4-27-16
We interrupt Agents of S.P.O.R.K. for this important announcement!
Take that, RCLG!
The Oracle has informed us that Atomiclunch has gained another follower. For a total of 14. Say 'Lunch, how many does RCLG have?
Um, 91.
Yeah. I'm sure he's shakin' in his boots...
We now return to Agents of S.P.O.R.K., already in progress.
Whoa, Nelly!
and I said "Gary, there's no Willis talkin' 'bout anything here. You did acid, we're in Fresno and you're humping a Stop sign".

 

by atomiclunch
4-28-16
Enough chitchat, let's get down to business. Show me whatcha got, hoss.
Boy howdy, I've been waiting for this chance! Let me slip into my crime fighting costume.
Take your time.
I can't wait to show you what I can do!
*eye twitch*

 

by atomiclunch
4-28-16
And um, what might you call yourself? please don't let it end in Knievel...
I'm the Khaos Korrecting Kommando! I'm here to Cross-Out crime!
Cross-out crime?
With a flaming passion, sir.
The uh, costume?
Made it m'self. Snazzy, eh?

 

by atomiclunch
4-29-16
I feel like we should head outside to see you demo your powers.
Agreed.
What do you think so far, 'Cos?
DUDE! Just No!
I'd like to run HIS errands!
Hot damn!

 

by atomiclunch
4-29-16
Okay, let me have it! Don't worry, I can take it, I'm a superhero, after all.
You asked for it! Prepare to be KO'ed by the KKK!!! HAA!!
Had enough?
OW! HOT! Pudding pop, please?!

 

by atomiclunch
4-29-16
... Impressive ...
I sense a "but"...
"Well, your aim..."
Ow.
What about it?

 

by atomiclunch
4-29-16
I was the one on the offensive. Yet you barbecued 'Cos.
Right. Aannnd?
Shouldn't you have toasted me?
Look, I don't know how you guys operate, but I take out the BAD guys.
And I've received ZERO complaints in my usual region of Miss'sippi and 'Bama. Hell, South Carolina gave me a medal for this!

 

by atomiclunch
4-29-16
Hanh Hanh Hanh. OOOHHH!
Well, I like your style. What say you, Friday?
Sounds like a yes to me! 'Cos?
I believe I'd like to cast a dissenting vote, if you don't mind.
Welp, that's 2 against 1. Welcome aboard, Kommando. Friday! Put your dress back on and get 'Cos a coke and a damn smile, would ya?
Yay!

 

by atomiclunch
5-01-16
So she was naked, hanging on for dear life and she says to me: "Cap'n, I've been a very dirty g-"
Excuse me, is this where I tryout for the team?
Sure, I -
God DAMMIT, my name's NOT Dot!
Thanks Dot!
AIIEEEE!!

 

by atomiclunch
5-01-16
Now, where'd I park my car?
Hey, Captain! Are you still doing tryouts?
Huh? Chen from accounting? You have powers?
Yes. And NO, they don't involve math.
Well, I was about to call it a day but I can always make time for one of our own.
Thanks sir. I'm sure you'll find it worthwhile!

 

by atomiclunch
5-01-16
Okay, don't be nervous, show me what you can do.
Alright, here goes!
*CrunchCraackRiiiipppSplutPfeeeeeelbtbtlt*
Note: Remind him to punch up the catch phrase a bit.
IT'S CHEN TIME!
Ta-Da! Eh? Eh? Amazing, huh? I can see you're speechless.

 

by atomiclunch
5-02-16
Umm. That's some power, there.
Yeah! I'm like the Hulk in reverse!
So, how do you think it would be useful to the team?
I was thinking I could act as a distraction, draw the attention of whomever you are fighting. Plus, I can heal myself instantly!
I'm not sure that's going to help much. You should stick with accounting, your receivables are second to none, you know.
The wife was really hoping I'd land a spot on the team. Please don't send me home to... her.

 

by atomiclunch
5-02-16
Later, at Chez Chen
Did you get on the team like I told you to?
I tried out but Cap says they don't really need my power...
*CRUNCH!*
I don't, either...
You know, this isn't painful when I do it to myself. I'm gonna go soak in some Bactine now.

 

by atomiclunch
5-02-16
Randomly beam us up, violate us anally, then drop us in some fourth-world shithole.
Oi, mate. Me bum feels like I shit the QE II. Why did they use such huge probes?
I don't think they were probes, buddy. Besides, the one they used on me felt like, maybe, one of those golf pencils.
Not mine, felt like a bloomin' telephone pole. I'm gonna be wearin' nappies for a month!
Well, I guess we oughta try to find a way back to civilization. Say, did you catch those aliens' names?
I thought one of 'em called 'imself RCLG and the other was called Ragu4u.

 

by atomiclunch
5-03-16
You're right, officer. I shouldn't have run from you. See, I thought you were my wife, and -
I'm gonna let you off with a warning but only because your wife is stacked!
Those old toilets in the junkyard are stacked. They're nothing to brag about, either.
Haveagoodeveningmrchen,bye!
Eh-hem.
oh fudge

 

by atomiclunch
5-04-16
It's amazing! I must be 100 stories tall!
I can see everything from here!
Note to self: Last time I let junior fill my pipe for me..

 

by atomiclunch
5-05-16
'Lunch has jury duty, today.
Mr. Lunch, do you feel you can make an unbiased decision as a member of the jury in this case?
Yes! Lock 'im up and destroy the key!
Sir, you are aware that the defendant is accused of shoplifting a bag of cheetos and a bottle of squirt, are you not?
Oh, that's different. Yes.
Should be interesting...
Off with his head!

 

by atomiclunch
5-07-16
So, this is my place. It's not much, but I like it. Now, what say you get naked and let's see whatcha got under there!
WHAT? What do you think I am? I have a brain, y'know! I'm not just a life support system for a great set of boobs! I thought you were different but you're just a PIG!
No shit. And don't downplay your vulva, i'm betting that it's nice, too. Time's a wastin'!
Okay then.

 

by atomiclunch
5-07-16
Okay Randolph, let's just take your temperature.
Right, I'll turn around and say "aaahh".
No need, sir.
No need?
Then how are you gonna -

 

by atomiclunch
5-08-16
So, it's like a coffee shop with little fried dough balls but...
for an extra 5 bucks, you get blown!
It's got potential, I might invest. Got a name for it?!
You bet!
BJ's Donut Ho's.

 

by atomiclunch
5-09-16
A great day for Chen!
I never would've thought. 39.95 to a guy on Craigslist and you're on your way to being a lawyer!
I know. Watta bargain! I read the book, now I just have to go to this address and speak to the proctor to take my Bar exam!
A little later...
Hi, is this where I take the exam?
Yeah bub, this is the place! Just relax, you're gonna do fine!
A bit later still...
What kind of -
Crow. Bar. I don't even want to THINK about what he examined with that but it's gonna hurt when I pass it!

 

by atomiclunch
5-09-16
Then he screamed. I had to cross the road. I found him, my closest friend, In a twisted heap.
That's terrible.
I'm sobbing, because his life is draining away in front of me. He jumps up, says "Ha! Gotcha!"
So if he's okay, what's this?
>burp<
Ow!

 

by atomiclunch
5-10-16
I'm sick of that kid razzing me about my missing arm. So I'm doing something about it.
Well, here comes the little smartass now, let's see what it does.
Ha! what's that, a purse holder?
BZZZZVVVVVVMMMMMPH!
Nope, Ion cannon. Like it?
My mouth tastes like electrons!

 

by atomiclunch
5-10-16
Hey! A new RCLG comic or 3!
Yay, he's creating some new characters! fagu4poo, HA! Say that sounds like ragu4u! So, who is this PlutonicMunch supposed to...
Comprehension in 3, 2,
Wait.
now.

Showing page 10.

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