All comics by Drexle

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by Drexle
1-05-03
I read a comic strip once about a guy who always said the same thing.
Hey, neighbor! When you're finished decorating your lawn, you can come over and do mine!
It wasn't very funny.
Hey, neighbor! When you're finished cleaning your house, you can come over and do mine!
Until now.
Hey, neighbor! When you're done whacking your weed, you can come over and do mine!

 

by Drexle
1-08-03
I'm feeling awfuly emotionally vulnerable right now. I hope some unscrupulous young woman doesn't decide to come along and take advantage of me in my time of distress.

 

by Drexle
1-09-03
Ahem, I said: I hope some unscrupulous young woman doesn't decide to come along and take advantage of me in my time of distress!
!!!
!!!
!!!
!!!

 

by Drexle
1-09-03
Oh...
...
...
...

 

by Drexle
1-09-03

 

by Drexle
1-09-03

 

by Drexle
1-09-03

 

by Drexle
1-09-03
Dammit.

 

by Drexle
1-09-03
I'll take advantage of you!
!!!

 

by Drexle
1-13-03
Hey everyone! Umm, why aren't you guys dressed up? I thought were were going to play Dungeons & Dragqueens.

 

by Drexle
1-17-03
Wow, today is my birthday. I'm 21 now. Crazy!
Cool. Congrats on making it this far. I'd like to be 21 again... maybe not today, though.
Well, I find that the age I act can be anywhere from 7 to 45 on any given day.
Now that you mention it, I'd rather be 7 again. Then I could scream that you and every other girl have cooties, and it would save me metric assloads of heartbreak and frustration.
I don't have cooties, though. You do.
No I don't! I'm telling mommy!

 

by Drexle
1-18-03
Hey there! What are you reading?
Oh, it's Lords of Chaos.
Oooh, what's it about?
A bunch of metalheads in Norway who went around burning churches and killing each other in the early '90s.
Sigh.

 

by Drexle
2-01-03
Look at this! In the Epic Level Handbook, there's a spell in there that lets you kill anyone from anywhere in the world and make them into a ghoul!
And check this out, here's one that has a range of 2 miles, and rains down 20d6 of damage onto whoever you want!
God damn, these spells totally kick ass!
Hasn't it occured to any wizards or clerics to make a "World Peace" spell?

 

by Drexle
2-02-03
You know, I constantly fantasize about giving my mother oral sex.
Dad is such a puzt. Nobody knows how to please a woman like another woman. Let *me* have a crack at it mommy!
That's quite the Oedipal complex you have going on there.
I'm not the one with the Oedible snatch.
You got that right. Blech!

 

by Drexle
2-02-03
Miss? I think I found something of yours.
Yes?
Your breast. It was dragging about 10 feet behind you.
SLAP!!!
Feisty mamma.

 

by Drexle
3-11-03
I haven't made any comics in a while. I have lost all inspiration, and all my inner joy...
Sigh. What used to come so easily and from such an endless spring has just dried up. Where's the funny lately? I just can't seem to find it...
Oh wait, here it is! Never mind.

 

by Drexle
3-13-03
Ugh. Classes are killing me lately, my grandmother just died, and life just all around sucks.
I know what will make you feel better. Let's have sex!
And on top of it all, now you're taunting me.

 

by Drexle
3-18-03
You!
Hmmm?
You're hiding weapons of mass distraction down your shirt!
And what proof do you have?
I don't remember, I lost my train of thought...
Eeeexcellent...

 

by Drexle
3-18-03
I demand that you turn over your weapons of mass distraction to the security council of my hands.
But I don't have weapons of mass distraction. Why don't you go bother Maura, or someone else who we know has silicon equipment?
Are you kidding? Those things are scary... have you seen how pointy and jaggy they are?
I know I wouldn't want to mess with them.

 

by Drexle
3-18-03
That's it, your boobies have 48 seconds to voluntarily leave your shirt, or else!
I know that all you want is to drill my oil fields and raid my assets...
Nonsense! I only want to liberate your suffering mammaries from the oppressive Braa'th regime!
But I'm not wearing a bra.
Train of thought... derailed! What was I saying again?
Eeeeexcellent.

 

by Drexle
3-24-03
Later, at The Institute for the Annals of Improbable Research...
Excuse me uh... Dr... uh...
Mine name ist Dr. Kokenbals.
Yeah, uh... Dr... Kokenbals... we just recieved a fascinating report of Vaginal Vampirism.
De vomen alvays find new vays to suck de life out off you.
It's not quite like that sir...
Dey are all de same! You'd vant blod too iff you bled voor days on end!

 

by Drexle
3-24-03
No, Doctor. Appearantly, a ghoulish looking adult male attempted to leap to his death from a tall building earlier today.
A young female rushed over to his shattered carcass to offer help, whereupon he thrust his hand up between her legs.
During the course of the assault, he was said to regain his health completely. He shortly left the scene with the victim, who reportedly went willingly, and smiling.
Vat nonsense vere you going on about? I vas busy looking voor mine Kokenbals. Haw_haw!
Sigh... some freak tried to kill himself, survived, then brutally shoved his fist up a girl's twat and made her like it. Wanna investigate?
Und dis ist improbable how?

 

by Drexle
3-25-03
How can you say that, Doctor? I mean, the spontaneous healing I can believe, but the fisting?
In my country, ve haff old stories about dis creeture. Ve call it "Count Vaginal Fistula!"
You see, dere vonce vas a very eeevil man named Fistul. Iss name strach terror into de hart off de people.
My God! I think I hear him coming!
He's not the only one coming from the sound of it... I always thought Krista would be a screamer.
His tvisted desires gave birth to a certain sexual technique. And duss vas his name to be known forever as...
Gasp!!! Count Vaginal Fistula!!!
It's time to pay your taxes, wench! Now, where might you be hiding them?

 

by Drexle
3-25-03
His reign lasted voor years, und in de meanvile de people seemply suffered under his rule...
I know you've got something illegal up there!!!
YeeeeaaaaAAAAAaaaahh!!!
Until vahn day, ven a noble Red Knight came trough de countryside. He challenged de Count, und vanquished him.
Red Knight will vanquish you!!!
Aaaah! I am dieing!
Und duss, his reign came to un end.
Hooray! The Count is dead? Isn't this great?!
Uh... yeah. Great... I guess. Sigh...

 

by Drexle
3-25-03
De story doesn't end dere, dough. It is said dat de spirit off de Count comes back efery handred years to spread eeevil, and vomen's legs.
Ooookay. I just have one question for you.
Vat iss it?
What the Hell country does that accent come from?
I don't knoooow.

 

by Drexle
3-25-03
So then, we're just going to let this event go unstudied?
I suppose you are right. Ve should send a team off researchers at vonce.
Dis sounds like a job voor Sara und Zoe. Send dem out as soon as possible.
Right. Anything else?
Ja! You follow dem vith de hidden camera. Make sure to get de reely hot und juicy shots for Dr. Kokenbals! Dis vill make voor some seeerious research!

 

by Drexle
3-27-03
Hey there.
Hey!!! Oh, I just met the guy you've been crazy about for the past month, and you know you're a lot like me... you don't go for the attractive ones, do you?
Buh...?
It's like I was talking to my dad, and he totally agrees with me that I pick the really ugly ones... oh, there's your guy now!
Hey there! You know, I just realized we have a lot in common. We both give really crappy blowjobs! I was talking with my dad, and he totally agrees!
Buh...? Buh...?

 

by Drexle
3-29-03
Hey Questine!!! How are you?! I'm having an assrammingly great day!!! Fuck yeah!
Hey Mark. What's so assrammingly great about it?
I'm about to witness a beating of buttpummeling proportions!!! It's gonna be killer-schweet!!!!
What are you talking about? Who's going to... ((crack!)) OOOOF?!
Hey there period!!! You just totally kicked ass!!! Youkickedass!!!
I have a headache. Shut up, or die.

 

by Drexle
4-03-03

 

by Drexle
4-10-03
We'll show you a metallic aftertaste!!!

 

by Drexle
6-07-03
Hey there baby. Penny for your thoughts?
I think you need to put on some pants.
So... penny for your pants?
How about your panties, then!?

 

by Drexle
6-26-03
Property of evil_d

 

by Drexle
6-29-03
Halt! You are in violation of penal code 2453-A, armed assault! Put down your weapon or I will be forced to fire!
God, Leon... you're such a dumbass.

 

by Drexle
7-07-03

 

by Drexle
7-07-03

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Eeey, bro! What's shakin', my man?
Not good times, my man. Not good times, ya dig?
Ooooooooh, what's the low down, daddy-o?
Maaaan, everything's all antithetic, hardly copacetic. I think I need some antiseptic for life's ills, ya dig?
Haha!
Yeah, you know what the fuck I'm talking about.

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Let's pretend I don't, daddy-o. What's killin' your chillin'?
It's all the same story, my man. Fast drugs, hard women, and cold coffee, cat.
Ouch, I feel your pain my man, but to suffer is good for the soul. From apathetic to dialectic, daddy-o.
Yeah?
"That what doesn't kill you, only serves to makes you stronger," quothe the 'N' man.
Neitzsche sucks.

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Mmm... or maybe that cat said "that what doesn't kill you makes you stranger?"
That sent a shiver down my spine, daddy-o.
Okay, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?
I'm a starving artist, ya dig?

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
You know, my man, you just can't be an artist until you know suffering. All the most dialectic works come from the bearer of a tragic life. Ya dig?
I dig, daddy-o. I dig deep and hard.
So, I bet you've got pages of notes and drawings to show for all of this, am I right, daddy-o?
Hmmm?
We all know that true art is the product of tragedy, so get to it, bro! Let loose the lyrics of your soul!
Uuuuuhhh....

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
What's the matter, daddy-o? Cat got yer tongue?
And a few other body parts, yes.
Man... have you even been workin' on any new material? What in the world happened to your soul, daddy-o?
My soul, it was flayed from my bones, man. I'm just another soulless automaton, wandering the machine.
That's scary, man. Truly frightening.
You know what they say about being your most creative when you're depressed, daddy-o? Bullshit.

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
What can we do to help, bro?
Mmmm... I'd say that I could use some money.
Money?
Yeah, money for my starving body... and hot chicks to warm my bones at night, and feed my starving soul. That would give me back my muse, daddy-o.
Color me skeptic, but I don't think you can get either of those things without a muse, man.
You ever seen a skeleton go apoplectic, daddy-o? Hold me, the world is going dark!

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
!?
(*CRASH*CLATTER*CLUNK*)

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Come back here and help me up, you bastard!

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Woe, man. Like, woe.
Sigh, it's hard to create anything when you're all fallen apart.

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
*CRUNCH*
?

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Like, ouch.
*CRUNCH!*
Oh shoot, I forget where I put my...
Jeez, someone needs to pick the trash up off the sidewalk...
You're right.

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
?!
It's time to stop bein' stepped on, mamma. What say you and me go get a cuppa-chino?
EEEEEEEK!!!
(*CRASH*CLATTER*CRUMBLE*)

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Clearly, I need to think things through a bit more.
CRUNCH!
???
Hey, preacher man!

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Yes, my son? What can IIIiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
No, man. Hear me out daddy-o, I...
BY THE POWER OF THE LORD, OUR GOD IN HEAVEN, I CAST THE DEMON SPIRIT OUT OF YOUR WRETCHED CORPSE!!!!
!!!!
Amen.
*CRASH*CLATTER*CRUNCH*

 

by Drexle
7-16-03
Years pass.
(*CRUNCH!*)
And more...
(*CRUNCH*!)
CRUNCH!
Moo!

Showing page 11.

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