All comics by DragonXero

Profile

 

by DragonXero
2-24-04
So, what brings you down here?
Mafia. You?
Owners had too many cats.
That's terrible, how could they drown you, just because they have too many cats?!
Easy, they just put me in a bag, tossed in a couple rocks, and dropped me down here.
*glub*

 

by DragonXero
2-24-04
Hey, you got a lighter over there?
Wait, is this the right bathroom?
Hey doc! I just found out I have hemerrhoids!

 

by DragonXero
3-04-04
Shine your head for a nickle.
Suck my cock for a dime?
hdb!
hdb!
if his comics are evil, then evil is GOOD -niteowl
Does that mean I'm Dr. Evil?

 

by DragonXero
3-04-04
Metal Wang! (BlairZip)
Tobor?! WHERE?!
Really, Really, Really....(insert word here)
Heh, you said "insert".
4 stars?
Yeah, I'm wondering how much longer 'till brad notices the bug too.

 

by DragonXero
3-04-04
D/X stands for Decent Xylophonist - MikeyG
Shit. I always thought it was "Decided Xenophile"
Insert sexual reference here. (Chicka)
SHE said "Insert" too!
I... hmmm. Yay? (kitty)
Err... I... Ehhhh... Shit.

 

by DragonXero
3-04-04
A tree ate my wang, but DX makes me laff. (UE)
Terribly sorry to hear about that accident. Hope that laughter really is the best medicine.
Grônkjaer!
Hey, I know that band! They do "As the Misanthropic Winds Blow Through the Nihilistic Landscape of Kul-D'Gar" I love those guys!
Looks like one of the guys from Turbonegro
Er, should I be offended or flattered??

 

by DragonXero
3-04-04
DX may be evil, but he's a good kind of evil.
OW! That felt like a slurpee headache! Don't do that!
Highest ranking cyborg republican after Cheney.
If I'm a cyborg republican, it's simply so that I may gain their confidence before I decimate them. Not that that's what I'm doing...
100% sure he's gay
100% sure I'm a lesbian.

 

by DragonXero
3-04-04
Metal!!
Uhhh... Country!!
Quit dicking around. (<3 dcom)
<3 dcom, you old school dawg you. WERD.
...
Show me what you got, fuckers!

 

by DragonXero
3-13-04
*Translated from Jason's inane mumbling from behind his mask
Nice to meet you. Name's 'nny.
[Another homocidal maniac? In my town??]*
Well, I'm not just another homocidal maniac. I'm sent by satan, to bring balance. I think. I'm confused about it all myself.
[And I thought I was crazy!]
Would you like to meet the pigs who drive me to killing?
[You need therapy.]

 

by DragonXero
5-26-04
SHOW US YOUR TITS!
I liked him better as Spider Man.
THERE'S SOMEONE IN THE CLOSET! RUN!

 

by DragonXero
6-01-04
Man, I have a headache!
You know what cures headaches best, right?
I... Umm....
Tylenol!
*cough* Oh. *blush*
You know what else cures them....

 

by DragonXero
8-11-04
And now, two words never spoken in an SC comic:
FARGIN'
BASTAGES!

 

by DragonXero
8-11-04
'allo DX, 'ow ye doin?
FECK OFF ye bleedin' bahstad, ah dinna wanna talk te ye!
DX! I didn't know you were scottish too!
Woot th' fook ye talkin abaut!?
Ah'll fookin' tear yer bloody eye oot!
Don't worry, he's not really Scottish, just really drunk.
I see.

 

by DragonXero
8-11-04
Come on DX, come out!
It's not that bad man!
Fuck you guys!
I suppose we'll have to get someone else to have the tattoo done. Maybe one of us should do it?
Fuck that man! I'm not gonna get a basketball with the letters "SC" tattoed on *my* bald head!

 

by DragonXero
8-11-04
You is fan of said bacon?
AAAH!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE MAN! GET ME OUT OF HERE!
You is fan of said bacon?
PLEASE DEAR LORD, TAKE ME FROM THIS AWFUL HELL!
You is fan of said bacon?
ARRRGH! This is supposed to be better?! Oh, wait, I can't hear him very well anymore! YAAAAAY!

 

by DragonXero
8-11-04
gooblegobblegooblegobblegooblegobble
Wonketywonkety
Whoa! Did you see that?!
See what?
Those steps, behind you!
What the cunt are you talking about, bitch?

 

by DragonXero
8-11-04
Hey Marie, what is the "fourth wall"
Jenna! Shut your damn cum-trap!
What?! What'd I say??
Don't ask about the fourth wall!! We could all disappear!
Goddammit, not again.

 

by DragonXero
8-11-04
Now, ah know what ye're thinkin'. "Kajun, I thought you were scottish! But you're drinking Guiness!"
And yes, ah do realize that Guiness is an Irish beer.
But you know what? AH'M FOOKIN' DRUNK ANYWAY. So bring on some brits and ah'll drink to Ireland!

 

by DragonXero
8-11-04
Dude, I'm getting hit on by some guy! The thing is, I'm kinda curious... What do I do?
Just pretend you're doing a chick!
WHAT?! *cough* Uh, alright... but what if he wants to do *me*?
Er.. with a strapon!
Dude, where did you learn this shit?
I'm a catholic choir boy, remember?

 

by DragonXero
8-11-04
____________________________________________________Now_in_WIDESCREEN_Format___
Whoa! What is this place?
It's the old "room" background. This is great! We have plenty of places to put our shit!
____________________________________________________Now_in_WIDESCREEN_Format___
Yeah, but it's a little big for dildos and two king size beds... besides, what about privacy?
Well, we could always just put up a sheet or something.
____________________________________________________Now_in_WIDESCREEN_Format___
No, I mean this huge missing wall we're looking at.
Oh, that? If people wanna watch, they can pay $3.50 like everyone else!

 

by DragonXero
8-19-04
Hey, it's really busy tonight, and I've got a whole bunch of tables to serve!
That's nice. Well, I'm in a real hurry tonight, so I don't think I will have time to leave a tip.
You know, this *is* a buffet, you can get your own drinks!
I can clean my own plate, and cook my own food too, but I paid you people for that.
I'm sorry, this is a really busy night, I have so much to do, I can't be expected to be everywhere at once! *whine* *complain*
You know, excuses are like bowel movements. Everyone has them, but some stink a lot more.

 

by DragonXero
8-25-04
Hey! *hic* Yer toilet won't flush!!
My toilet? I was just in there, what the hell...
And I can't *hic* find the motherf- *hic* fucking lid!
What the cunt are you ta-
Oh yeah, *hic* It's five minutes off, too
Wha- Goddammit! Not the grandfather clock again!

 

by DragonXero
8-30-04
Madd creds to Rabid_Weasle for this one.
With the invention of "flav-o-semen", pickup lines become far more interesting.
Hey baby, ever been with a blueberry?

 

by DragonXero
8-30-04
Look, for the last time, I don't want to talk politics in the office with you!
Oh come on, I thought you enjoyed our mental jousting!
I never said I d- Dude, what the hell, you're burning!
... no I'm not.
You were just on fire! And now you're ashes!
It's just a flesh wound!

 

by DragonXero
8-30-04
Hey, I brought some band-aids and a few baggies to sweep you into...
Sweep me into? What do you think I am? A pile of ash?
Uh, you *are* a pile of ash.
...am not.
Dude, just let me-
Done come any closer! I'll get in your hair!

 

by DragonXero
8-30-04
You'll get in my hair?
Indeed! I'll be really difficult to wash out, and people will think you have dandruff!
Oooh, I'm scared.
I'll bet.
Shut up.
Pansy.

 

by DragonXero
8-30-04
How are you even talking when you haven't got a mouth?
I have too got a mouth!
Where?
It's under my nose.
That's it, I'm leaving.
Get back here! I'll do you! I may still have bone shards! I could shank you!

 

by DragonXero
8-30-04
Hey! Get back here! I'm not through maiming you yet!
What're you looking at? You want a piece of me?
Wanker.

 

by DragonXero
8-30-04
Okay Jesus, Passion of the Christ, Scene 77, take 7.
Err... what's my motivation?
You're starving, tired, in pain, and satan has taken a liking to your genitals!
Did someone say Satan??
Medammit! Cut! Who let the stunt double on the set??

 

by DragonXero
8-30-04
___________________Now_in_WIDESCREEN_Format___
Wonder where that there staircase leads to.
Ha ha!
___________________Now_in_WIDESCREEN_Format___
___________________Now_in_WIDESCREEN_Format___
What fucking staircase are you talking about?

 

by DragonXero
8-31-04
Errr, hey guys, what's up?
Hey Crabby, heard you're joining us soon.
Yeah! You're going to be one of us!
Wait, what are you talking about?
ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

 

by DragonXero
8-31-04
What an awesome show! Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir, and Borknagar!
Meh. I'd have rather gone to see Vintersorg.
OH MY GOD! You guys like death metal too? I LOVE death metal! You into Slipknot?
Can we just kill him?
Might be fun.
IF YOU STRIKE ME DOWN, TEN MORE SHALL COME IN MY PLACE!

 

by DragonXero
9-21-04
Apologies to Family Guy
This is an impressive resume, Bill.
Thank you sir!
What do you see yourself doing in three years?
Don't say doin' yer wife, don't say doin' yer wife...
Well?
Doin' yer... son?

 

by DragonXero
9-22-04
John! You're going to hell!
Oh, okay. Will there be a KFC nearby?
No, John, you don't understand, there will be no KFC in hell.
Oh, well that sucks. So is it a very long drive away?
You still fail to understand, in Hell, there is absolutely no access to KFC. Where there would normally be a KFC, there is a McDonald's.
No KFC? All McDonalds? .... NOOOOOOO!

 

by DragonXero
9-22-04
This white.. it's almost... blinding...
This is the concubine, it-
Concubine?
Er, no, I meant to say-
Hahaha, damn, you Matrix guys must not get laid much!
FUCK YOU, I will call up a program to bitch-slap you like you've never been bitch-slapped before!

 

by DragonXero
9-22-04
Nigger!
Spic!
Dago!
Chink!
Honkey-ass cracker!
I'm not even going to try.

 

by DragonXero
9-26-04
Lost: 22 kilos cocaine. If found, please return to Richard J. Pinkleton, 555 Northwest Ave. No cops please.
Found: 12 kilos cocaine. Please come to San Francisco police dept. to claim.
I was wondering where that 10 kilos of coke in my garbage can came from.

 

by DragonXero
9-27-04
I'm so tired of this existence.
So why don't you kill yourself?
I can't kill myself! I don't have the implements to do so!
Well you could just use that hammer and nail.
What hammer an n- oh!
Do it, pussy.

 

by DragonXero
10-03-04
Now listen up motha' fucka'. I'm gonna blow you straight to hell if you don't fuckin' step off the fine bitches around here.
Who de fuck are you?!
I'm the muthafuckin' president, bitch. USA.
You are one scary mother fucker!
Yeah, you're damn right, now, do I gotta call in vice president Terrantino to FUCK you up, or you gonna behave?
We'll be good! Thee women, they can go to school!

 

by DragonXero
10-07-04
Gentlemen, your opinion on the war in Iraq, please.
Umm, I... don't like it! Kerry told me to say that, he's a smart man, and I like him!
My young opponent here obviously has little experience. The war is going smashingly.
Um, right, how about healthcare then?
Mistah Kerry says we have a plan. I don't know what it is, but I believe him.
Why do people need health care? We gave them tax breaks. They can buy it on their own.
Er, alright. Now, how about Haliburton?
I think Mr. Kerry said Haliburton was evil and Mr. Cheney was part of it, so he's evil too!
I ah.. well, that is... LOOK, OVER THERE!

 

by DragonXero
10-13-04
Yes? What's the problem?
Well, you marked this answer wrong. I'm certain the answer is "metre".
You spelled it wrong. It's "meter".
I was using the proper english spelling of the word.
Well, this is AMERICA, and in AMERICA we spell it "meter".
Really? I thought we spelled it "yard".

 

by DragonXero
10-28-04
Dude, God himself gave me this calculator, he said it can solve ANY problem, including variables!
Really? What're you gonna do with it?
Well, what else? 5/0=
NO, WAIT, DON-
I fucking hate you so much right now.

 

by DragonXero
10-28-04
Who knew that multiplying the result of x/0 by 0 would bring back the universe?
Who fucking cares? We're back, now don't do that shit again.
Oooh, it has a pi function!
No, wait, DON-
Dude, it really is 3.14.
Well, whaddaya know?

 

by DragonXero
10-28-04
Ah, there we go. That was "Alabama Pi". Here's "true pi". You can tell because it's not fucking its sister.
Uhhh, you probably shouldn't press that button dude...
Why not? What harm could it cause?
Dude, SERIOUSLY, don't fu-
AAAUUUUGGGHHHH!!!
Fuck dude, you need to buy some common sense.

 

by DragonXero
10-28-04
All positive intergers is the same infinity as all integers.
God I love doing that.

 

by DragonXero
10-28-04
Define f: Z+ -> Z as f(n) = {n/2 if n is even, -(n + 1)/2 if n is odd}. The first few values starting at n = 0 are f(0) = 0, f(1) = -1, f(2) = 1, f(3) = -2, f(4) = 2, and so on. Since n in Z+ implie
Hee hee.
Shit, it didn't work, what the hell?
2+2=5!!!
That explains it.
I farted and it smelled like poo.

 

by DragonXero
10-28-04
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
GAH, what do you want mom?
I just remembered that I was going to make 2+2=5.
Meh. They'll never know the difference.
You're right. They still don't know that there's an end to numbers.
Or that dividing by zero can be done easily.

 

by DragonXero
11-03-04
Well, now that this is over, maybe the idiots in this country can get backto conversing like intelligent human beings, rather than fighting.
I can't believe Kerry lost! It's all because of those damn third party voters!
So, because we voted for someone we really liked, we're bad people?
You're one of them!? You threw your vote away, you knew Nader wasn't going to win!
Actually, I voted Libertarian. I didn't "throw my vote away", I cast it for the man I thought would do the best job.
DOES. NOT. COMPUTE.

 

by DragonXero
11-03-04
Hello! I'd like to address a couple of things that have been said about my comics recently. First off, I wrote "epitaphs" and I MEANT "epitaphs". Notice the grim reaper?
Secondly, if you don't like the nerdy humor, or you want to argue about the math behind it, go fuck yourself. I got the idea from someone else.
I personally don't give a damn if you think he's not nerdy enough to write nerdy humor. Maybe next time you assholes can sign your insults, rather than being pussies.

 

by DragonXero
11-04-04
Dude, I swear that gay guy wants my ass.
Really? And would that be such a horrible thing?
Dude, sick, I don't wanna get assreamed!
What makes you think he likes you anyway? I mean, when was the last time you even had a girlfriend?
Um... five years ago...
Check and mate.

Showing page 15.

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