All comics by Trippingbillee

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by Trippingbillee
2-13-03
I would like a stapler, please.
That's not a stapler. It's a donkey.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-13-03
Oh, man, I like walking outside. You know, because I am allowed to.
Freedom. Yep... Ahh, good old freedom. Wow, I can go any direction from here. North, South, East, OR West.
I hate that guy.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-13-03
God, Ca-MOO is so depressing.
Really? I've always found "The Stranger" to be uplifting in the end.
I can understand that, but the process of reading the book just wore me down. The lack of emotion was really draining.
But it was essential to the story. The ending wouldn't be nearly as powerful.
You know what was funny? I said Ca-MOO instead of Camus.
Also, I've been farting for the last twenty minutes.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-13-03
Quick! I need a stapler!
*Does not compute*
Huh? You were built for only one purpose: Handing out staplers!
*Does not compute*
That's the LAST time I order something in my Amazon.com "Gold Box".
*Now THAT computes. With great, can't-lose offers!"

 

by Trippingbillee
2-15-03
In 1896, Sigmund Freud published his first major work.
It claimed to find meaning in dreams that could unlock the secrets of the unconscious.
He always called that book his greatest achievement, though he is most well known for his other writings.
Such other writings included his idea of the "Freudian Slip," or loosely translated from the German as "Faulty Action."
He claimed that all slips in speech or forgotten words had a deep, Oh my God, I killed my wife with a stapler meaning.
I mean profound.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-17-03
Sweet! All three comics I submitted in a contest got mentioned!
Did you win?
No, but they guy running the contest obviously liked them.
But you didn't win.
Well, my comics don't really have punchlines.
(Fart)

 

by Trippingbillee
2-18-03
I am the mystical Purple Donkey, lost in the ancient deserts of Finland. You have found me. I shall grant you two wishes.
Ok, well, I've always wanted those totally sweet neon lights that go under my car! You know what I'm talking about? The ones that light up the road?
*Poof*
It is done. A second wish?
That's about all I can think of.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-18-03
So the other day, I was walking home from a hard day at the office, when I came across a magical genie! He said he could grant me one wish.
But I wasn't fooled. I knew it was some guy trying to swindle me out of my hard earned money!
So I killed him!
Turns out killing random strangers is illegal though, so now I have to go to Canada.
The irony is that I've always wished that go to Canada! Isn't that silly?

 

by Trippingbillee
2-18-03
Hi, is this Canada?
Yes.
I came here to escape the police, because I killed a man claiming to be a genie.
Yeah, we get that a lot. Say, would you like some Canadian beer? It's satisfactory!

 

by Trippingbillee
2-18-03
Hi. Could you point me to a safe place to hide?
Kill a genie, eh?
Yes.
Well, I'd try the hockey stadium. Or that police station with those stupid guys in red coats who wear those dumb hats.
That's about all that's here, unless you count the snow.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-18-03
Yes, I'm safe here in Canada! Time for a nefarious laugh! Hahahahaha.
Excuse me, sir. Are you an U.S. citizen who viciously assaulted and murdered a man about two weeks ago? You fit the profile we were given.
No, sir. But I am enjoying my stay in Canada.
I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to bring you to the stupid police station with guys who wear dumb hats for questioning. Eh.
Oh, drat! Now I'm going to have to face the consequences.
No, in Canada prisoners go to hockey games and drink Canadian beer. And play in the snow.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-18-03
What a crazy adventure! I killed an evil genie, went to the greatest country of all, and watched hockey!
In fact, I have nothing left to do in my life.
Except masturbate. Vigorously.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-18-03
Hello, young black man.
Hello, middle-aged businessman.
Leggo my Eggo!
No, you leggo my Eggo!
Seriously, I'll fucking sue your ass if you don't give me back my frozen toaster treat.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-19-03
I am kicking ass in Medal of Honor! 19 kills and only 2 deaths!
Are you on the Allies or a Nazi?
Nazis, but just because there are more Allies.
Sure. I'm gonna tell mom that you're a Nazi!
No, I'm just playing one in a video game. I can't even speak German.
What? I can't understand you, because you're a nazi, Nazi.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-21-03
Hey, Fire. I see you're still burning brightly. I remember back when I was almost a blue flame. Yep.
Oh, Jesus, this is so awkward.
So... I was wondering. Want to grab a bite than catch a movie? I got no plans.
Oh, well... I sort of do have plans. You know, to burn things. Sorry. See you later.
That's cool. I probably do have plans, I'm just so busy that I forgot!
Sure.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-26-03
Hello.
I'd like to do an impression of the amount of faith I have in our governing institution.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-28-03
I'm actually a cross-dressing bull.

 

by Trippingbillee
3-02-03
Splinter Cell is a beautiful game. It look so much better on a powerful PC.
Do you think it's worth rebuying for PC?
Dunno. Depends on how much you liked the game I guess.
Hmm.
Wait a second... Do you even have an Xbox?
No. So that whole conversation was irrelevant! My humor circuits are firing at an exponential rate!

 

by Trippingbillee
3-02-03
Hey, we're out of food.
Except for the last Mentos! Why don't you eat it, and become magically inspired to do some crazy act, thus sovling our problem?
I know! I'll kill you, then eat you.
Mentos: The Freshmaker!

 

by Trippingbillee
3-02-03
I woke up with the nastiest cold this morning.
You know what feels really weird? When you try to make out with someone when they're sleeping.
Oh, and about that cold... I have some medicine, since I've had a cold for the past week.

 

by Trippingbillee
3-06-03
Hello, womens. I am a black male. I have a stereotypically large penis.
If you purchase this amazing dishwashing fluid, I'll put my penis in your vagina and move it around in a sensual matter.
I am a stereotypical bimbo who only cares about penis size. This offer is enticing. Too bad I already have an adequate dishwashing fluid.

 

by Trippingbillee
3-06-03
If you like chicken, you'll love Colonel Sanders' new Semen Coated Fried Chicken.
That's right! Each batch is coated with a luscious mixture of cow, chicken, goose, and Michael Jackson Semen!
Don't forget your mashed taters and macaroni on the side!
Remember, if you want that extra-gooey flavor...
Semen Style Chicken, only at KFC!
Conundrum!

 

by Trippingbillee
3-06-03
Oh yeah, right there. That's the spot! You've never been this wet before!
Honey, that's the water cooler.
Evian. It's dripping wet just for you.

 

by Trippingbillee
3-09-03
Hi, I'm Britney Spears. I'm a musician. My new album is for sale.
I have boobs.

 

by Trippingbillee
3-10-03
We're in line to be slaughtered.
Some of us are still in the midst of an existential crisis.
I wouldn't like to be immortal, so why does it matter to me when I die?
I think that I would like to be immortal, but still able to die from severe physical affliction. That way I will be able to stay sane.
I'm unsure what my feelings are towards death, but I know I don't want it now. So if I know that, doesn't that mean I'm afraid?
Thank God I remembered to hold in my excrement for two week so those MacDonald's custmers get a nice, lean, nutty "patty".

 

by Trippingbillee
3-11-03
I just watched "The Ring."
How freaky was that movie?
I don't get it. The girl had sex with like thirty different people. Didn't her husband get jealous?
I don't think you watched "The Ring." "The Ring" is a horror movie.
Oh. It must have been that porno that I keep accidentally watching.

 

by Trippingbillee
3-13-03
Doctor, I think I found a lump on my breast, but it doesn't really matter... doesn't really matter to me. To me.
Oh, but it should! Breast cancer is a serious illness!
I know, but here's my thinking. If I just don't think about it, it will go away!
Well, I've never heard of that method, but it sounds crazy enough to work!
She was wrong. She died a horrible, horrible death. Everybody cried.

 

by Trippingbillee
3-13-03
There's an argument about the merits of what I had to say going on in the Stripcreator.com forums right now.
You're all missing the point! I didn't come to earth to confuse and cause anger amongst the people.
I came for the bling-bling.

 

by Trippingbillee
3-17-03
So I just bought this really cool new game. It's got all great graphics and big explosions.
What's it called?
"The Sims: Iraq Pack."
Oooooo. That sounds better than "The Sims: Jews in 1939 Germany!"
Shhh. I'm trying to get these two girls to make out.

 

by Trippingbillee
3-24-03
People like to talk about interesting things on IRC.
We like to talk about lesbian sex.
On IRC.
With other lesbians.
They should call it "LesbianRC" or something.

 

by Trippingbillee
4-01-03
Who's there?
Must be my schizophrenia again.

 

by Trippingbillee
4-03-03
What makes Earthlings taste so good?
I give up. What?
That sauce that Emeril, the TV show cook, sells?
I think its a powder. You know, like a seasoning.
I like it when he says, "Bam! Kick it up a notch!"
Mmm, Earthlings.

 

by Trippingbillee
4-14-03
Man, this paper is already a day late.
Why didn't you write it yesterday? You spent all day playing Tetris on your old Gameboy.
Procrastination is the key to happiness. Confucious said that or something.
Whatever, I'm going out. I finished all my work for this week.
God, it's amazing I can get along with all these anal-retentive workaholics.

 

by Trippingbillee
4-27-03
Hello, I'd like to order a backup eraser. So, um, meal number 184.
Would you like to supersize that?
No, because then the eraser wouldn't fit and I'd die.
It's only twenty-five cents more.

 

by Trippingbillee
5-01-03
I'm watching anime I downloaded. It's really good, except for the subtitles.
Yeah, I hear that's a problem with "Fan-subbed" anime.
See, in this scene, the girl, who's been a sex slave to this guy, puts his penis in her mouth and sucks it.
Uh-huh.
But he says, "Oh, yes, that feel so good." Not feels. It's like I can barely understand what he's saying.
I know. Messing up noun and verb forms is an understated problem in society.

 

by Trippingbillee
5-19-03
I saw "Matrix: Reloaded"
Yeah, me too. I liked it.
I was disappointed.
Well, we're entitled to our different opinions.
I did like the part where it turns out Neo is actually a computer program, and Morpheus is an agent.
And when Trinity finds out that she is a man.

 

by Trippingbillee
5-19-03
Ok, here's the deal, God. You give me ten million dollars in twenty dollar bills, and I will masturbate while rolling around in the money.
I will also accept Paypal.

 

by Trippingbillee
5-19-03
During the middle of the snowstorm, Joe realized that he loved Jane. He loved her with all his heart.
But the snowstorm blinded him from the REAL truth.
Joe was merely an acorn, and Jane was a beautiful but deatly Cheetah halfway across the world, hunting the antelope of the wild plains in Africa.

 

by Trippingbillee
6-01-03
Who are you?
I'm Satan. I've come to take you to hell for downloading Radiohead's new album.
Why? It's not even out yet. I'm going to buy it when it comes out.
I guess that's fair. You pinky promise you'll buy it?
*Pop*
Sure... Hey! What happened? The power went out!
I farted, and my farts are like neutron bombs.

 

by Trippingbillee
6-07-03
Have you ever noticed that our house is made of rocks?
No. What makes you say that?
Well, look around. It is. It's just a pile of rocks.
Look, I'm no rock scientist, or even a house scientist, but I think I know a pile of rocks from a house.
I'm divorcing you.
Look, I'm no divorce scientist, but I'm pretty sure that "divorce" isn't even a word.

 

by Trippingbillee
6-19-03
Yesterday, my 100 year old grandmother died. It was the first time anyone close to me has passed away.
I created an email worthy of her name, and sent it to every name on my adress list.
I asked the recipients to do the same.
I will continue to dream that the email will accomplish what grand-mama could never do.
"Sonny, some day I will influence the rules of an internet comic contest."
I will continue to dream.

 

by Trippingbillee
6-22-03
Hey, Tim. You ever feel that burning desire to get out of this crazy field and see the world?
Nope.
Not even once?
Well, there was one time I left for only a day. I haven't had the desire since then. I guess you could say I learned a little bit about the world that day.
Four years ago...
So THIS is where they make robots!

 

by Trippingbillee
7-01-03
Shit, Clango, Brad's finally put in a ratings system and made the forums exclusive! This is awesome.
Yeah, but what about all your alter-ego's?
I guess I'll have to kiss them goodbye. Still, its nice to feel like a part of this close community.
Clango, did you just fart?
A lot.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-01-03
So does your girlfriend know about your fetish?
What fetish? Start stripping, please.
This is pretty kinky.
My workstation is over there.
Ooooh yeah, baby. Now the robot is talking about cornholing the other robot.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-01-03
I just don't know, Kalib. We're both just so attractive, and on "Road Rules", but I just can't see us ever getting along.
But we're young, stupid "diverse" kids who are willing to show the world how pathetic we are.
Well, we do have great bodies.
And...Our spelling skills are adequate enough to send a letter to MTV.
Ok, Kalib. Our nonsensical fighting does nothing. Lets have sex.
I'm gay.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-04-03
So, when are they going to start the July 4th fireworks?
I don't know. Let's just lie here until they do.
Is anyone else even on this field? It's so quiet. Who told you there were fireworks here, anyway?
Oh, it was just a hunch.
Did you just touch your penis to my ear?
Yes.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-05-03
Ok, your meal will be ready soon.
Thanks.
So, I don't normally do this, but... could I get your phone number?
I'm sorry, but I'm engaged to a rabbit. His name is Buford. He is a beautiful person.
You're engaged to a--?
He is a beautiful person.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-05-03
Oh my god! 100 comics! I did it! I did it!
Finally, I'll get some respect on Stripcreator! I mean, 100 comics? That takes talent!
And lots of comedically effective punchlines.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-05-03
*Click*
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!
*Click*

 

by Trippingbillee
7-07-03
Lately I've been thinking about string theory. Or rather, M-theory. You know, the theory that the universe is made up of vibrating, one dimensional strings?
No, I have no idea what you're talking about. But I'm sure I could read a short "physics" book they have in the bestseller section and learn everything you know about it.
You're just dorky enough to actually pick up that book and read it. You just want me to think you're smart.
There are 11 dimensions.
I've had sex with a girl.

Showing page 2.

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