All comics by marylinndr

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by marylinndr
2-20-04
Having a friendly conversation.
What's your favorite holiday?
Hawnika.
Okay,but that's not how you spell it.
Oh I know I to spell it.
If you spell it,I'll give you a hundred bucks!
Okay.I-T.There,pay up loser!

 

by marylinndr
2-20-04
Bored.Nothing to do.
Hey man, wanna go cow tipping?
Sure.
Drove to the nearby farm.
Whoa!Look at that one!She must be the mother of all cows!
Yeah! I wanna go first!
Takes his wallet out and...
Dude!What are you doing?!
I'm tipping the cow.Sorry mother of all cows.I only have a 5 dollar bill to give you.Please don't think I'm cheap!

 

by marylinndr
2-21-04
A great theory.
Ya know the translation for turning our language into Hollywood language is easy.You just add a zero to everything.
HUH?
A suggestion.
Here's an example:"Whoa!$20 for a paor of jeans,that's cheap!(actor language):Whoa!$200 for a pair of jeans,That's cheap!Anonther 1:$1 for a drink,That's cheap.(Translate)$10 for a drink,that's cheap.
Oh! I get it!You are a genius! You should write a book about that!You would be a millionaire! It totally makes sense!
It was just a dream.
7:00A.M. and it's time to wake up!It's a bright and shiny day and...
No! It was just a dream!Wait a minute,I can still write it down!No! Where's my pen?!I'm starting to forget!Where's my paper?!Oh no! I forgot why I was looking for a pen & paper!What was my dream about

 

by marylinndr
2-21-04
Day 1 of the new neighbor.
Hello Mrs.Crater, can Jimmy come out and play?
No, he's taking a shower.
Day 2 of the new neighbor.
Hello Mrs.Crater, can Jimmy come out and play?
No, he's doing his homework.
Day 3 of the new neighbor.
Hello Mrs. Crater, can Jimmy come out and play?
No, I can't think of any more excuses so just NEVER COME BACK AGAIN YOU WEIRD,MASKED,BLOODY,CRAZY,WEIRD LITTLE BOY!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-22-04
Hey man, guess what I found under my mattress.
Ummm...Bed Bugs?
No.I found that Dungeons & Dragons Player's Handbook Core Rulebook Part 1 I was looking for for a year.Ya know,the 1 I thought you stole.How embarassing.
Good thing your parents didn't see cuz parents usually find Playboy Mags under a kid's bed & if your parents found a D&D rulebook,they would have been like,"My kid needs a book to learn the rules....
What a disgrace to our family.& another thing,they would've said there is a core rulebook part 3.5 now.Our child is so out of date...Child?We have no child.He's looking at naked Orcs for God's sake!!
No.& dude,you are 1 twisted & confused fool.

 

by marylinndr
2-22-04
My parents always say I talk too fast.
Well I don't think I talk too fast,I just think they listen too slow!

 

by marylinndr
2-22-04
Remember when we use to call French fries Freedom fries.
Yeah, so?
Well that was wrong cuz what would we call a potato?
A Freedom potato.
We can't call it that cuz potatos aren't free.They're 50 cents a pound in most places!
I never really understood you.

 

by marylinndr
2-22-04
She's thinking really hard.
Is it poe-tae-toe or poe-tah-toe?!
Is it toe-mae-toe or toe-mah-toe?!
AAAHHHHHH!!!!
Either 1 is correct.
A little bit too hard.
Is it (e)-ther or is it (i)-ther?!
AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-22-04
Ooops,I killed him!Please forgive me Lord, I'll do 10 Hail Mary's.
Oooops,I killed him!Please forgive me Lord,I'll do 20 Hail Mary's.
Ooops,I took off his pants!Please for...I'll do 30...Hehehe.
Huh?What happened?

 

by marylinndr
2-22-04
Mr.Green Pants hates Mr.Wheelchair.
It's like you can commit any kind of sin now cuz all you have to do is go to church & ask for forgiveness!
Yeah,you're right.
I mean I can go to confession & say I stole $1000 & the priest will say give me 1000 Hail Mary's & you will be forgiven!
Yeah,I guess you could get away with anything can't you?
Yup,ANYTHING!Well, I better go to church now.
No!You won't get away with that!You guys aren't gonna let him get away with that are you?No come on,he killed me!Awww!You 're gonna let him get away with that.

 

by marylinndr
2-22-04
Is it weird if this isn't hurting me?

 

by marylinndr
2-22-04
I wanna start smoking but it's really hard.
I mean,quitting can't be as hard as starting cuz this is really hard!
I've tried everything.I ate a cigarette,I tape recorded myself saying"start smoking" & listened to it in my sleep.But wait,there's more...
...I even went to the extreme and put my mouth around a muffler and told my dad to start the engine!!!
But I guess the sight of a talking cigarette with a face and a hand that's waving at me right now is what's making me not wanna smoke!
Smoke me.Smoke me.You know you want to.

 

by marylinndr
2-22-04
Lenore is wearing contacts.
Hey Lenore,do you have 20/20 vision?
Yeah.
She wants to look pretty.
Then why are you wearing contacts?
To change the color of my eyes.Duh!
63 years,2 hours,12 minutes, and 3 seconds later...(when she dies)
Wait!Why am I down here and not up there?
You lied to your friend.You didn't have 20/20 vision that one day 63years,2hours,12minutes,& 3seconds ago.All Non prescription contacts make your eyes blurry.

 

by marylinndr
2-25-04
All scientists say we were created by the "Big Bang".
Yeah,so?
So if we were made by the "Big Bang",who created the "B ig Bang"?
God.
What if you don't believe in God?
Then I guess you believe everything is fake.Oh oh.Nooo!! I'm really not all natural.And yet another perfect reason to get implants.

 

by marylinndr
2-26-04
At home.
I hate science so much.
I have to think of a way to never go to science ever again.
Walking.
Hey! I'll burn the science building down!No 1 will see it coming,especially not here in California.People would be like,"Wow,he's creative!& no more school!Thanks!"
I'm gonna go there right now & do it.
At the school.
What the?!It's already been done!Nooooo!
Don't you watch the news?Burning science buildings is like a fad here in the bay area now.If you don't do it,you're not cool!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-26-04
2nd most popular guy in school.
Wanna go to the dance with me?
Sorry I'm keeping my options open.
Most popular guy in school.
Wanna go to the dance with me?
No,I was waiting for someone else.Sorry.
Some random girl.
Wanna go to the dance with me?
Wait a minute?You're a girl?Wait a minute!You're a girl!Yes! I'll go with you!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-26-04
Wow look at all the fish and plants here!
They are so beautiful!Nothing like anywhere else!
But how come something seems wrong?Oh oh!Oh oh!
You were suppose to make me a scuba diver,not a hunter!You fool!Do you realize how much trouble I'm in?How could you get confused by that?!No!I can't breathe!I can't...I can't...
In memory of a hunter who should've been a scuba diver that day.May his accidental soul rest in peace.Oh yeah,sorry!

 

by marylinndr
2-27-04
1st HALF-squirrel getting arrested for being psycho.2nd HALF-at the mental hospital.
Wow you're really gonna take me to the Nut-House! I wanted to go there since I was like 4!
Hey! This doesn't look like the Nut-House,"The 2nd Happiest Place On Earth".It looks like a mental hospital!
It is,that's what we call it here.
Oh,I'm so confused.Hey wait,why'd you arrest me?You're not a cop!
Yes I am.I'm undercover.
What covers!!!??? I don't see any blankets around here!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-29-04
I think people that play Dungeons & Dragons should go see the psychiatrist.
Why?
Because they use their imagination & pretend they are something that they aren't in real life.
Yeah but it's fun.
Wait a minute,we play it don't we?
Yup.Let's go make an appointment.

 

by marylinndr
2-29-04
Saturday.
Hello! Is anyone in there?!
Leave!Can't you read the NO SOLICITING sign?!
The next Saturday.
Hello?Can you open the door for just a minute? I just want to show you how the world would be a lot better without violence!& I'd also like to sell...
Get out of here!!!This world will never be unviolent!Now leave my property!!!
Saturday after next.
Hello?! Is anyone...
You bother me & I become violent!Oh oh!Girl Scouts?!Noooooo!!!!!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-29-04
If I give people my e-mail address and the password,you think they will pass it around and look in my personal stuff?
Of course.Why would you give them the password?
Cause I didn't think they could e-mail me without it.
How many people did you give it to?
2 totally different places in the world.
Hey this guy's getting fired!!!
Look honey,he's getting a divorce!!!

 

by marylinndr
3-02-04
Watching the news.
Good Morning Stripcreator!!!
It is 6:00a.m. and somebody just got shot!
A couple minutes later.
It's 6:02a.m. and there is an accident on the freeway!
It's 6:04 and we are going to war!Did I mention it was 6:05a.m.?
No more news.
It's 6:07a.m. and I don't have anything else to say except it is 6:08a.m. now!
This comic was just a special thanks to the news people.If it wasn't for them,I would have to turn my head 2 inches to the right every morning to look at the clock.They save me a lot of trouble.Time??

 

by marylinndr
3-02-04
Elf's car is broken.
I still have to bring my car into the mechanics.
You don'y need to do that.You can just fix it yourself.
But I never went to mechanics school.
You didn't have to.You just need to put a little elbow grease into it and it will work.
What?What are you talking about?My elbows aren't greasy!I just took a shower this morning!With soap!!!
Good grief.

 

by marylinndr
3-03-04
KKK covention with a black man talking to a parot.Did I mention this is a KKK convention?
Hey birdie birdie.
Tweet tweet!
KKK hear something they don't wanna hear!
Polly want a cracker?
Cracker?!Who said cracker?!Kill him!!!Charge!!!Take away his freedom,again!!!
The funeral.
Maybe we too hard on him.
Maybe he wasn't even talking to us.Oh oh!Black Panthers!!!Run!!!

 

by marylinndr
3-03-04
So if a boy walks into a bar and comes out a man...what do you think happened to the boy while he was in there?
He got plastic surgery?

 

by marylinndr
3-03-04
I hate award shows.
TRANSLATION:All I ever watch is award shows.
MOTTO:You love to hate,but you don't hate to love.

 

by marylinndr
3-03-04
Use the Force Luke.May the Force be with you.
WHAT???
Come to the Dark Side of the Force Luke.It is your Destiny!!!
HUH???
Translation:You can either point your finger @ someone & hope they hit a wall & get rewarded.Or where dark colors & take orders from a guy who has a choky voice and live in a ball with a dent in it.
Okay...Ummm...I'll take option number 2.

 

by marylinndr
3-03-04
Luke chose to be on the Dark Side.
I'm glad you chose to be on the Dark Side of the Force Luke.Oh yeah,&,Luke...I am your father.
Oh.Hi dad.So what do you actually do hear on the Dark Side of the Force?
We make the Darkest things in all galaxies far...far away.But not a long time ago.We still make it.People hate it so much because it...it...it stains!!!
What possibly can it be?
Ink.What else would it be?
Oh.So I'm guessing the other Side of the force makes lamps.This is gonna be easier than I thought.Hey wait a minute...Did you say you are my father?!We look nothing alike!Where's my mommy?& who?

 

by marylinndr
3-03-04
Skeleton is helping Reaper with a crosswoed puzzle.
What's a rasis comment that rymes with trigger?
Can't tell ya.Last time I said it...they killed me.

 

by marylinndr
3-03-04
Jimmy is going to war.
Oh no Jimmy!Please don't go!I am going to miss you so much!
Do not worry! I will be back!
Oh no Jimmy!We just watched Scream last night and they said to never say I will be back!Remember?!
Do not worry! It was just a movie!And I will be back!
He never came back.Stupid teen horror movies.They are always right.

 

by marylinndr
3-06-04
Internet really is evil.And I have the proof.
There are pop up ads that are so addicting that you just have to buy the stuff.Which will eventually make you broke.
Internet really is evil.And I have the proof.
There are pop up ads that are so addicting that you just have to buy the stuff.Which will eventually make you broke.
Internet really is evil.And I have the proof.
There are pop up ads that are so addicting that you just have to buy the stuff.Which will eventually make you broke.

 

by marylinndr
3-06-04
Internet really is evil.And I have the Proof.
There are pop up ads that are so addicting that you have to buy the product.All of them!!!Which will get you broke.(Dirt poor)
And that whole arthritis thing.It will mess up your fingers so much.Not to mention your vision.You're staring at a screen for a long time.You'll be blind by the age of 35.
And all that fake stuff online.Not just the nudity either.The essays and notes and information.All fake.You will fail.Which will ruin your life.& last but not least...
6000 years ago,a man said WWW was equivelent to 666.Which we all know is evil.So if WWW means Evil,& Com is short for computer.It must mean...EVIL-COMPUTER!!!
It is trying to tell you your computer is evil. It is lying to you!But since you wouldn't be able to read this without internet,I guess it is alright.Oh no!It is taking over me!Must log off!Or stay???

 

by marylinndr
3-06-04
In the Military.
I can't find my razor,but anyway,there are so many famous people out there that have facial hair.
Just look at Santa.It is so long and white.And all the kids love him.
And Hitler.That's like a house-hold name.And his cool little square mustache.Awesome!
Don't forget about Brad Pitt From the movie SEVEN.Awesome movie,cuz he has a goatie.It made the movie!!!
And of course we can't forget about Jesus Christ!He had the best and coolest beard ever!!!
Yeah.My Commanding Officer will like that better than when I said,"If yo momma don't have to shave her whiskers,I won't shave mine!"Or should I go back to the old my dog ate my razor trick???

 

by marylinndr
3-07-04
Stand up comedian.
So I walk up to a mexican guy and call him a beaner.And he says...
What?& I say-Nothing,I just called you a beaner.He says-Oh,tru dat.Tru dat.
I walk up to a white guy and call him a cracker.He says...
What?I say-Nothing,I just called you a cracker.He says-Oh,fo show meng.
I walk up to a chinese guy and call him a chink.And he says...
What?I say-Nothing,I just called you a chink.He says-Oh,Tru dat.Fo show meng.Let's keep it on the down low up in this hizzle fo shizzle.Then:He got shot by every nationality in the world.Applause now.

 

by marylinndr
3-07-04
I never said I knew the whole alphabet...
I just said I knew the ABC's.3 out of 26 isn't that bad.

 

by marylinndr
3-07-04
If you concentrait really really closely,you can slowly feel all of your brain cells starting to die.
You are getting stupider and stupider by the minute.Especially if you believe this.P.S.-If you believe this,go see a psychiatrist.I could save a life or something like that.

 

by marylinndr
3-07-04
Different people,different places.
What's up essay?
What's up homie?
What's up you guys?
(We are all girls!)
What's up dogg?
Moral:It's either we don't know what we are or we don't like what we are.Prediction-We will say:What's up pencil?What's up kitchen?Hey penguin!Hey binder!And the sad part is,we will all understand!No!

 

by marylinndr
4-10-04
#3 hottest girl in the school.
So,do you want to go to prom?
Nope.
#2 hottest girl in the school.
So,do you want to go to prom?
No.
#1 hottest guy in the school.
So,do you want to go to prom?
Sure! Lesson:Always go for # 1.NOT!!!

 

by marylinndr
4-15-04
Mr. Bob Marley would be very proud right now.Wait a minute,is it green-yellow-red or red-yelloe-green?!I could have just messed up a whole culture!Forgive me!Oops,nevermind,I'm right.

 

by marylinndr
4-15-04
If nobody ever spoke to a baby,woukld it learn a language?
Sure.It could watch T.V.
But what if it never watched T.V. or a radio.Or anything for that matter?!
Well than I guess it wouldn't learn it.
But my parents were hobo mutes,I mean...How are you understanding me right now?
???

 

by marylinndr
4-16-04
Getting an I.Q. test.Reminder:Doctors think these are very boring.
So the 1st question is:What's a better movie...Pearl Harbor or Black Hawk Down?
Pearl Harbor.Cuz it's about war.
Ok.2nd question:What's a better movie...Underworld or Resident Evil?
Underworld.Cuz the hero is a girl.
Yeah well your I.Q. is very very low...I mean high.Here,take a look.
Wow...Tic-Tac-Toe!My I.Q. is so good that there aren't even numbers to express it!

 

by marylinndr
6-03-04
Wat da hook gon be?What can that possibly mean?
Let's turn it into English.What is the hook going to be?
Huh?Still don't get it!
It must be a secret password or code or something.
1 hour later at the bookstore...
May I see a black man's dictionary please?
Is that what it means?That's disgusting!Wait a minute...Yup still disgusting.If someone hears me say that i'll get shot.

 

by marylinndr
10-02-04
J.D.(The Rapper)
Yo-yo -yo.Yo-yo-yo.Yo-yo-yo,yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo!!!Welcome to Atlanta where the...
Ok,seven & a half Yo-yo's will cost you...... $41.32.And, we are not in Atlanta sir.
Toys 'r' Us clerk

 

by marylinndr
10-02-04
How many states are there in the U.S.A.?
JOHN KERRY:52
GEORGE BUSH:I agree with the Senator.
What are you going to do about the job problems in California?
JOHN KERRY:I will make sure the companies will stop shutting down.
GEORGE BUSH:Uhmmm....I disagree?
President makes some phone calls.Five hours later, George Bush wins the debate.
JOHN KERRY:NNOOOO!!!Recount!!!
GEORGE BUSH:YeeHaww!!The phone worked again!!

 

by marylinndr
10-16-04
Phone police from Minority Report.
I think i'm gonna ask someone if their refridgerator is running.
FREEZE!!!This is the Phone police!!!Drop the phone & put your hands up!!!
What?The Phone police???
You are under arrested for almost making a prank phone call!!!
In jail.
I'm in jail for being a refridgerator repair man & asking a question I ask everyday?!Call my lawyer!!!
So he wasn't a pranker?Ohoh.I'm in trouble!

 

by marylinndr
10-17-04
I knew I shouldn't have stuck my tounge in the freezer.

 

by marylinndr
10-17-04
I hate it when they spill crumbs on me!
They sit on me!STOP COMPLAINING!!!

 

by marylinndr
10-17-04
Who do you like better?PC or the Phone?
PC.Phone talks too much.
I heard that!

 

by marylinndr
10-17-04
If I make a running start and jump,I'll make it.
Even if he makes a running start and jumps,he'll never make it!

 

by marylinndr
10-17-04
So you Yahoo!?
Yahoo!?That's soo 5 minutes ago!It's all about Google now!
What about Ask Jeeves?
Huh?
Ask Jeeves?
Let's jump him!!!

Showing page 2.

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