All comics by DH-01

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by DH-01
10-25-01
sO I sAId tO hEr: "dO yOU hAvE Any dEmOn In yOU?"
And shE wAs lIkE: "nO, nO I dOn't."
sO I gO, "d'yOU wAnt sOmE?"
... heh.

 

by DH-01
1-03-02
One again, my inspiration proves to be a terrible slacker. All there ideas, and one of them have been followed through on. If you ask me, he deserves to be punished.
So I stripped DH, painted him pink, tied him up in a nearby stable and invited... a very special guest.
I'm sure we'll get s'more productivity out of him now. Yessiree.
So, where's that hot pink donkey you told me about?

 

by DH-01
1-03-02
RARRRRRRRRRRR! Welcome to the House of Tobor! Tobor now has this new show to share Tobor's views on world events!
Tobor's co-host in the House of Tobor is one of Tobor's best friends... Pink Donkey!
Glad to be here, Tobor. I hope that I can help give this show a dimension that's never before been reached by other daytime talk shows.
Tobor is sure that the viewers will soon see that Tobor is not all about manrape and roaring.
... you're not?

 

by DH-01
1-03-02
Tobor is working on new furious exclamations to unleash against those worthy of forceful anal penetration. *ahem*
RAAAAAAAAAAR! Dude, you're getting a Manrape!
... no. Just no.

 

by DH-01
1-04-02
So, one day, NeoVid and DH-01 ended up in prison...
Look, I'm sorry for forgetting who you were, alright?
Okay, okay, I forgive you... besides, I'm more occupied with how I'm gonna keep myself busy until bail posts.
Well, we could make horribly off-color prison jokes...
Point, point... hey, Vidders? I dropped my wallet over there behind you... mnd getting it for me...
... and NeoVid made the horrible mistake of turning his back on Fuxxxor's inspiration...
... you know, I've got this terrible feeling Tobor's right behind me.
Oh, If Only. nOw sprEAd 'Em.

 

by DH-01
1-04-02
Welcome back to the House of Tobor! Tobor has gotten e-mail lately and would wish to answer the question posed.
"Dear Tobor, I love your show and I'd like to ask how you keep your home so clean, especially considering the various activities you partake of there. Signed, Billy Bitchcakes."
Good question. Tobor has learned after many years that the best way to clean houses is to use the blood of virgins mixed with human ash in a chalice!
Virgin blood is also good for making pacts with demons, adding that extra zing to a fruit drink, or a beautiful wood stain when you need the popular 'murder scene' look.
Most of the time, though, Tobor hires professional cleaners. Less hassle.
Especially when you're trying to incinerate the virgins after you get the blood. Messy job, that. Okay, next e-mail...

 

by DH-01
1-04-02
Apparently, there happens to be a so-called 'newbie revolution' going on right now. As far as what this revolution entails...
So far, I, DH-01, have seen nothing more than very bitter attempts at mocking just about everything considered a 'regular'. This does not equal talent, it equals being a troll, be it on text or comic.
If the vanguard of this revolution consists of such 'luminaries' as dcomposed, xpac and their ilk... then this is not so much a revolution of style as it is a revolting style in general..
I am not naturally a mean man. I am a nice one, all things considered. But when people magically appear and demand to be taken serious after taking jabs at everyone who's spent months making comics...
... well, it pisses me off. If there are any actual honest-to-God newbies who would like to stop whining, belly-aching and insulting people, please come forward and be recognized as not being stupid.
As for the rest ... well, they say that a fool only has as much influence as the people around him are willing to give him. I will give you none. Expect the same from others. Good day.

 

by DH-01
1-05-02
So, it's a new year... and we've yet to exact our revenge on Sachiko and Fuxxxor! What the hell is wrong with us, Fake Jesus?
Not sure, Cthulhu honey, but I'm sure we'll find some way to make them both suffer greatly for their crimes against us...
... hey! I was thinking! Why don't we kidnap them, tie them up and then rape them mercilessly!
... problem there. They kinda like that stuff, remember? The two of them are freaks of nature! Why, they'd even get off if you did 'em!
I heard that... I thought you loved your big, bad tentacle daddy, FJ.
Note to self: remember that Elder God lover is telepathic.

 

by DH-01
1-05-02
cmere yuo HOAR i m mad rappist ad want to rapp yu hardd
oh no donot rapp me mr mad rappist!! im stll sore frmo yur last rapping
shat uup cunt i wil rapp yo now
auue i m rappedd but itis god and i liek itt
You made me laugh, fuck. Congrats, you have another fan.
... y'knOw, fUck Is A gEnIUs.
Yeah, that was fun! Let's do it again sometime!

 

by DH-01
1-05-02
Hey there, DH-01.
Hey, Spankling.
Weren't you the guy I beat in one Comic Cup?
Yep, that's me. Good work, by the way.
No hard feelings, Spankling. Really.
I figured. Anyway, I assume you plan to kill me with that giant truncheon you have hidden outside of the panel.
Well yeah. That or sodomize you with it. I've even been working on the "RARR! 10-HD WILL CORNHOLE YOU!" part. Anyway, prepare to die. Or something.

 

by DH-01
1-05-02
We all have our quirks...
Get out of the suit, DH.
You know you want me.

 

by DH-01
1-05-02
mmmm... mUch bEttEr. I fEEl lIkE A nEw dEmOn. nOw, whErE's thAt tAcO stAnd...
... we're still friends. Right?
I hate you, Darkheart One
Oh, hush up. The burning stops in time.

 

by DH-01
1-05-02
Give five dolla, get the stuff.
Watch me get into the buff.
Hit your knees and taste my muff.
But watch my bush; it's hella rough.
... I dunno, it's kinda funny now.
Burma Shave.
moh!

 

by DH-01
1-05-02
I do not wish to sound too crass...
But I would like my shaft to pass...
Your puckered manring (please, no gas)...
Then thump into your hairy ass.
Burma Shave.
moh!

 

by DH-01
1-05-02
Many people, brave and bold...
Play out jokes until they're old...
TOBOR'S MANRAPE TOOL IS COLD!
and strpcreator's one yr old
Happy Birthday, Stripcreator. moh!
Burma Shave.
moh!

 

by DH-01
1-07-02
Ghengis_Khan finds out that...
GRAAAAH WE ARE THE MONGOL HORDE AND WILL CORNHOLE YOU AND EAT YOUR CHILDREN!
Oh, neat! Can I help? Can I can I can I pleeeease?
... perhaps his impending invasion...
GRAAAAAAAAAAAH WE ARE MONGOL HORDES AND HAVE BIG WANGS FOR CORNHOLING!
I fIgUrEd. by thE wAy, yOUr bOys ArE stEppIng On mInE bEhInd yOU. tEll 'Em tO stOp.
... isn't all that much of a big deal after all.
... GRAAAAAH! ARE YOU NOT IMPRESSED BY THE GIRTH OF OUR DRIPPING ERECTIONS?
Tobor suggests that you and your forces bend over now.

 

by DH-01
1-07-02
And now, a special song from Funfun Time's own cute little serial killer, Sachiko!
When you're lost and all alone, STAB THEM 'TIL THEY'RE DEAD!
When you're taking on the phone, STAB THEM 'TIL THEY'RE DEAD!
Even though you do know well, just shrug, 'cause we're all going to hell! So when in doubt, just shout it out: STAB THEM 'TIL THEY'RE DEAD!

 

by DH-01
1-07-02
A message brings hope for Clown!
You called for me, Ringmaster?
That's right, Clown m'boy! You've been in the business for a decade, but I've finally found out the routine that'll make you the next Bozo! Lemme go get your new partner!
Minutes pass...
I am so anxious. My big day... finally, to transcend the trappings of a mere clown... and become the star of the circus...
... and hope is dashed against the rocks.
i am the madd rapping clwn!! when do wee statr teh rapping??
...

 

by DH-01
1-07-02
I do not understand, Ringmaster. How do I gain fame by molesting the circus animals... in public, of all things?!
Well, I did some research, and it looks like the kids nowadays are really into the whole zoophilia thing! It's all the rage!
... where exactly did you get this 'information' from, Ringmaster?
Where else? My Puritan magazine collection!
I... see.
Now get out there! Those lions are primed, primped and ready to be pumped!

 

by DH-01
1-07-02
"And now, the buggering buffoon, the jester of the chocolate starfish... CLOWN!"
...
...
... maybe I should just bend over and hope he does it quickly.
Meanwhile...
yu hold stil HOAR so i cann rapp uyo cuz iam teh mad rappist clonw and the childrn willl lafh when i rapp youu!!
... oh shit.

 

by DH-01
1-07-02
His success has increased... but Clown is a sad clown...
What is is now, Ringmaster?
Your previous partner seems to have gotten in trouble with the law, so we've hired a new partner for you... one we're sure you'll love!
Anything is better than that horrid little freak! I appreciate the change, Ringmaster!
He's right over there... do mind, he's a bit shy, but he's REAL eager to get into this line of work.
... and thus, Clown and a young robot named Tobor meet.
... why do I feel the sudden, overwhelming urge to staple my rectum shut?

 

by DH-01
1-07-02
You've got everything down-pat with the job, except for one small thing.
That being?
The circus animals aren't supposed to, well... explode when you violate them.
... they're not?

 

by DH-01
1-07-02
Here you go little girl... a balloon monkey!
Yaaaaay! Thanks, mister Clown!
Here you go little girl... a baloon monkey... being 'taken care of' a balloon Clown Tobor!
Dude, that's SICK! Make another one for my little sister!
The Ringmaster saw who was making the most balloons... and knew what time it was...
... It's time to masturbate! THEN fire Clown! But first I gotta masturbate... that show got me a little hot and bothered...

 

by DH-01
1-07-02
The Ringmaster breaks the bad news...
I'm sorry, Clown, but I no longer need your services here in my circus.
This... this means... you're firing me?! I helped make this show! You can't fire me!
Well, I'm not exactly firing you, but you will be feeling the burn, so to speak, in a few moments.
... I don't understand what you mean, Ringmaster.
"Clown... meet my new security guard. He'll be showing you the way out after showing himself the way in."
... oh bugger.
Tobor's thoughts exactly.

 

by DH-01
1-08-02
Downsized and rectally assaulted, Clown finds himself with nowhere to do... no one to turn to...
His mind wanders along the day's happenings, but one thought in particular looms the heaviest... the most painful of them all...
Gee, my behind is sore.

 

by DH-01
1-08-02
A little girl approaches him for one last balloon...
Hello, little girl. I'm sorry, but I am not very happy today.
But I thought all clowns were happy, mister Clown!
Sometimes, something so horrible causes even a clown's eternal smile to become a defeated frown. You are too young to know these feelings.
... okay. Can I have a balloon now, mister Clown?
... and finally, Clown's fragile psyche snaps!
... of course you can, little girl. Just wait a few moments... I have to get my... balloons.
Oh, wow! I didn't know clowns kept their ballons in their underpants!

 

by DH-01
1-08-02
... I am leaving now, Ringmaster. Why are you approaching me?
I saw what you did to that little girl, Clown...
... and you are here to have me arrested, I assume?
Why, hell no! I want yo rehire you! Your technique... how could I let a master such as you go? Please come back!
... and the Ringmaster gets a firsthand taste of Clown's true power!
AAAAGH! NO! NOT THERE! ANWHERE BUT THERE! AAAAAIEEEE!
... Tobor will be able to do that one day.

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
Initial cleverness...
"This guy's an annoying prick, but he's got some promise. Let's see if he shapes up."
hahahahah thye see that eyejam genius!!!!!1!~ post more comx noww!!!
... blatant ignorance...
"Jesus, kid, stop it already. I know retards who act more civil than you!"
bah dey donot unerstandd my komedilk drivezorz! eyewill make mor comix lolololol tobormanrape!
... then lonesome desperation.
"Now, let's get this Weakest Strip: Two Asian Girls League series started right!"
... eyeyam lonly. eyewil make moree komix now!!!!@! thatll show them eyeam s-mart! lololololol madd rappist lololol!!!~!~111

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
Wow... what a touching story, Bitter Clown. I didn't know how tortured your life was until now.
Now you understand, Sachiko. Now you understand why I must do what I do.
Well, that's the end of the Story of Bitter Clown! And I bet there's a moral hidden in there somewhere!
Indeed there is...
Not all of your problems can be solved by sodomy. Some of them, yes. All of them... no. Thank you and good night.

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
The good...
It's a shame that there's no good people in Funfun Time. Move along nothing to see he--
Tobor demands more screentime! You know the penalty for failure to bend to Tobor's will!
... the bad...
I'm sorry, officer. I know we were going pretty fast...
... And wE hAvE *nO* IdEA whErE thAt dEAd bOdy cAmE frOm...
... and the ugly.
People should fear us more, man! I'm the Fake Messiah, and you're a Lovecraftian Horror!
... you say such the sweetest things, FJ-dear.

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
MANRAPE!
I DO NOT SUCK DICK!
CORNHOLE!
I DO NOT SUCK DICK!
Stripcreator.com: trust us, you haven't missed much.
ASSBLAST!
I DO NOT SUCK DICK!

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
I am going to dump my rabbit-goo into your floppy ear.
If I let you do that, can I watch wrestling tomorrow night?
No.
... okay, go ahead anyway.

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
I want to ravish you heartlessly, you cum-sucking, ass-tonguing, finger-fucking freak.
And then I want to violate every single hole in your body, including your piercings.
Well? What the fuck do you have to say about that?
I love you, too.

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
... I'm sorry that I forgot the lube.
That's what you always say.

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
So, you like the sandwich?
No, it tastes too salty.
... maybe I shouldn't have used my special sauce on that one.
... I changed my mind. I like the sandwich.

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
*splrt!*
Masturbating is rather hollow when they're no one to watch.

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
Love you.
Love you too.
Can we cuddle?
Don't touch me.

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
My life is a hollow shell. There are precious few things that bring sunshine to my life.
But I take some comfort in the few pleasures I can indulge in.
Honey! I brought the guacamole and the scrotum clips!
Life is good.

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
I was going to the grocery store one day when a Jehovah's Witness stops me.
She tried to give me one of those tracts and ask me if I have religion.
I told her that I worship one thing alone, and that is debauchery.
Naturally, she was less than amused by my reaction, but wanted to come over to my house to talk anyway.
It's a shame that the fucked-up religious types are the ones who give the best oral sex.
*SPLRT!!!*

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
What's the dumbest thing you've ever done in your life?
Fall in love with you.
You're joking, right?
... right?

 

by DH-01
1-10-02
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
You know, if you stop clencing, I just might be able to pull the gerbil out, dumbass.

 

by DH-01
1-12-02
They say that there's a thin line between love and hate.
They call that 'cocaine' where I come from.
And it's usually more than one line, too.

 

by DH-01
1-12-02
Did you like my casserole?
Yes.
Needs more sodomy, though.
Why is it always sodomy with you?

 

by DH-01
1-12-02
I'd like to see your pet selection.
Only if you promise not to cram the poor thing up your furry ass this time, Fuk Bunny.
Whatever happened to 'try before you buy'?

 

by DH-01
1-12-02
Been studying about great artists, past and present.
Some of them I can agree on, but one guy in particular doesn't deserve the credit he gets.
I don't see what was so special about Jackson Pollack, personally.
All he did was spill paint on the ground. Sometimes he even used two colors.
I spill my 'paint' on the ground all the time and no one calls *ME* a artisti genius.
They just call me a freak and throw things at me.

 

by DH-01
1-13-02
Brad learns that certain creations...
First off, I want a new graphic... something slinky and sexy like Lucy Liu, only with bigger tits and a chainsaw.
... bigger tits... and a chainsaw. Check.
... have very peculiar demands...
I wAnt AnOthEr pEnIs.
... but you already have three.
... when it comes to a pay bonus.
I want a doll made out of unmarked twenties to sodomize.
...

 

by DH-01
1-13-02
Brad converses with his CFO, Tobor...
I'm telling you, Tobor... all the others I can deal with, but the Funfun Time guys are all insane. Just look at these demands.
Alright, sir. Hmmmm...
Tobor could use another cornholer too, come to think of it.

 

by DH-01
1-13-02
Fuk and Suk, the Sick-Ass Bunnies, talk about the bonus...
I thought you loved me.
I would've let you share the money-doll.

 

by DH-01
1-13-02
DH, why're you still using the pimp graphic, man?
Well, the recent influx of cash has caused me to rethink a few things. Perhaps there's nothing wrong with looking rich and gaudy.
You still look like a cheap-ass pimp, man.
That's what you can see. I'm wearing a brand-new diamond-studded platinum cockring under these pants. Bling-BLING! Wanna see it?
Would you be offended if I refused?
Do you think I'm giving you a choice, Vidders?

 

by DH-01
1-13-02
Meanwhile, in the Finance Office...
Tobor could use a cockring, too.

Showing page 3.

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