All comics by what_the_krevice

Profile

 

Kyle's drunken misadventures online with Tom.
Are you drunk again?
Marlbly...
"Marlbly..." What the hell?
I'm not quite sure myself...
Don't get me wrong, I love alcohol...but shut the fuck up, man!
You're awfully silly...do I know you?

 

More Escapades With Drunken Kyle
Look, I know drinking can be fun, but knock it off
I knw getng drunk iz bad, butt HAHA I SAID BUTT!
But what?
YOU SAID BUTT! HAHAHA!
But it's the only way anyone would find you attractive enough to shove her tounge in your mouth?
It's more hurtful when you're right

 

Look, It's Mike's friend Brother Kylus!
Look, oh master of douche, you gotta knock it off with the drinking and being a complete fuck-up
But I'm in love! Can't you respect that?
No, you're disgracing the name 'Kyle' all over the world. Why, just last week I went to rent a movie and someone asked me why i wasnt crying over a girl like a little bitch with a stick up his ass
I couldnt follow that, I was too busy wallowing in my own failure at living
I wouldn't have expected something so coherent from you
Yeah, but now my ass is bleeding

 

Y'know, I'm a reverend, maybe I could perform an exorcism on you
I don't need an exorcism, I need a woman!
Then how do you explain the projectile vomiting and lack of bladder control?
Well...It impressed people in elementary school...
Usually I tell people to go in peace, but you deserve to be publically flogged
Is 'Flogging' anything like 'snogging'?

 

The War Between The States (VG)
Hey...uhh...you wanna maybe play nice?
...you mean like a headshot?
Talk about total-immersion...

 

So Mike got a new computer
Did he?
So does this mean no more gay jokes or bashing Kyle?
Absolutely not
God Bless America
Dude, Kyle is soo gay

 

*YAWN* Damn, why am I so tired all of a sudden?
Tired from a long weekend of pumpin' your sausage to the Home Shopping Network?
...no, I mean it. I'm suddenly so...sleepy...
Rohypnol will do that to you, my pretty...
*SLUMP*
And now the fun begins!

 

I know you're probably wondering why there's a microphone here
I'm playing an ingenuis prank where Pervis will think I fucked his ass...
....well not so much...as..ingenius as...holy shit I have too much free time

 

*TWIST*
Give it a good twist!
*TWIST*
Make sure it's jammed in there nice and tight...
Resulting in an enlarged sphincter, anal bleeding, and homophobic fears realized. ...Ain't I a stinker?

 

I resent having to always be the one to shove something up his ass
Look, he'll never expect it from you
How do you figure?
Because of your blatant homosexuality
I'm not gay!
You keep saying it, and maybe it'll be so...

 

nngggnhh
Awww...my little bitch is waking up.
...the hell happened?
hee hee...guess!
My...sore...my ASS! You son of a bitch, you raped my ASS!
You're pretty quick at recognizing that ol' familiar feeling, eh boy?

 

You jackass! Why?!
I didn't rape your ass!?
MY ASSHOLE IS THE SIZE OF A MASON JAR!
I didn't fuck your ass!
*sarcastically* If it wasn't your dick, what WAS up my ass, hmmm?
Testing, Testing 1 2, Testing Testing 1 2

 

What the hell are you blabbering about?! And whaddaya mean you didn't violate my anus?!
*puff, puff* Is this thing on?
...so you're saying you held a well-publicized city-wide rally at which my anal rape was the main attraction?
the hell?
*SMACK!*
What was that for?
For shitting on my parade, bitch!

 

My asshole may never recover
Oh quit your bitching
YOU JAMMED A MICROPHONE UP MY ASS!
Heh...yeah...
You're always invading my anal crevice...you have an anal fixation!
Now you see, that's just mean...

 

Inspired By Brother Kylus
?
fine, you just go be with the rest of the reject cheese!'
Huzzah, what the hell are you doing?
I can't get the piece of string cheese I want
And that constitutes you screaming at it?
Fuck you and everybody who looks like you!

 

So yeah, Huzzah has been a little weird since the string cheese incident
*mutter mutter*
Huzzah?
I AM THE OWL!
*string cheese induced thump*
*groaaaaan*
Hoot Hoot, mutha fucka

 

I, Brother Kylus, have taken this opportunity to correct a serious error
Error
You, my friend, are not the owl. I am the Owl
Hoot?
*STOMP STOMP*
You like that, don'tcha bitch?
ho..o..ooo..

 

Drastic New Developements ...
So now that Brother Kylus is part of the staff here, he can't appear in the comic as himself.
So this means what?
Will You Be Able to Handle It?
Yeah, so I'll have to act as his advocate for right now ...
Oh?
In the End, Same Old Nonsense
So, I just have to tell you, Huzzah, for your own good, that you are NOT the Owl!
Yeah, but can he make you change your expression yet? Nope, didn't think so.

 

Hiya
So, what's that resturaunt with the hot women? ers...
Hoot?
something ers..
*SMASH*
Zigged when you shoulda zagged, asshole

 

Damnit, Pervis, this has nothing to do with 'the Owl' jokes, what's going on?
Just to mix it up, I put acid in both our drinks.
Now why would you go and do something like that?
Just to mix it up a bit.
So ... which is more fun, your brain bleeding or your ass?
There's more colors when it's my ass ...

 

One week later...
Dude these colors are awesome!
What colors?
The ones the acid caused..
Oh christ...he's having acid flashbacks
My anus is bleeding, wanna see?
You'd like that, wouldn't you, fanboy?

 

Why is it that no matter who is authoring these strips, I'm always made out to look like the bitch of the relationship?
Because you ARE the bitch of the relationship ...
As true as that may be, it doesn't mean that I should be personified as such in a fictional piece such as this. I mean, it's not even based on reality, so who gives a shit if I'm the bitch or not?
Since when do you talk so damn much?
Since I've decided to stop being such a grovelling, submissive piece of shit and take a stand for myself and my rights as the bug-eyed creep of this juvenile comic strip!
Kyle apologizes for all the damage the massive quantities of text in this strip must have caused you, the readers.

 

*pouts*
Look I'll make you a deal: If you can zing me good, I'll stop calling you a submissive bitch
Really?
Yep, that is if you can manage to give me a verbal pranging
And I won't be a bitch
No, I just said I wouldn't call you one

 

Alright ... how about this ... You look like a combination of a drop of water and a pubic hair! Ha!
...
What? Why are you looking at me like that?
We established that back in the primordial days of this comic when I said it, myself.
... Oh ... shit ...
Now turn around you submissive bitch.

 

Dear God why?!?! Why must I fall victim to Huzzah's pranks? What's the meaning of my life?!
42
You got that from a book
Yeah, well, you base your life on a series of short stories by Hemingway
What?
And it's because he hates women, you chauvinistic cunt

 

I don't hate women; they hate me.
Everyone hates you.
And? ...
That doesn't bother you at all?
Not anymore ...
That's it, I'm taking your Valium away from you again.

 

..So how did you know I was on valium
There were many tell-tale signs
Such as?
The lack of interest in most things...
I like swords
the fact you're working at the post office...

 

The real question is, how are you answering my questions?
What do you mean?
Well, I'm just thinking these things without actually saying any of them.
Oh ... good point ...
Yeah, so how are you doing that?
When you work with Garfield, it's just the kind of thing one needs to learn how to do.

 

You're prolly wondering what I'm doing over here. Well Kylus pointed out a mistake Mike made...so
I AM TROGDOR...THE BURNINATOR!
Oh cripes...
Don't prove the master wrong, even if you are The Owl
OH GOD! OH SWEET FUCKING CHRIST IT HURTS!

 

Um ... may I help you?
I'm Pervis' long lost sister ... got any Valium I can bum?
Damnit Pervis, take off the fucking costume.
How'd you know it was me?
Pervis ... you give off this pulse that says "submissive bitch" everywhere you wander.
I may as well write it on my t-shirt, huh?

 

OOo! Ooo! Eee AH AH AH!
Now, I'm not usually one to make a mistake..but...
I am Johnny, The Uber Lemure!
I thought it'd be funny to mix some amphetamines in with his valium...
Lo and behold my hellacious Nutsack of Righteousness
I'm giving him 20 seconds before I get my rifle..

 

Oh man, dude ... I feel so mellow ... so light ... like a cloud, man ...
Pervis ... have you been into drugs again?
No, man, it's like, I just stopped taking them 'cause I figured if I didn't I would just ... dissolve, y'know? And now I'm doing great, I'm really doing well and --
Pervis ... what are you on?
Vicodin and some really good KB.
Do you realize you just pissed your pants?

 

....whoa...
I know this is out of character, but I'm really really worried about Pervis
DUDE! I have....toes.
That's good, Pervis, keep countin' 'em.
This lil piddy...
...is covered in dog shit, stop picking at it!

 

Hey man, can I hit that?
Pervis, what the hell are you talking about?
You're smoking the best smelling pot I ever did smell, can I please hit it?
I'm sorry I have to do this to you, but ...
*SMACK*
Ow ...
When in doubt of what to do ...

 

A Brief, Drawn Out Public Service Announcement
So you gave the bitch an ultimatum, real relationship or nothing. Good for you!
Yeah, but she said he just wanted a phyiscal relationship...
And....
So I said okay
What's it like to be a sex toy? Cuz that's all you are, a curly haired dildo
She might dump me because I don't vibrate like the "Long Schlong Silver" in her sock drawer

 

*Sigh* I shouldn't have tried buying drugs off that cop.
Huzzah! You came with the bail! Thanks! I didn't tell them about your child-porn ring, even though they tried to torture it out of me.
Shut up, dumbass! Someone will hear you!
Um ...
I'm gonna make sure you get butt-raped, Prince Phillip.

 

After Many Weeks
You're leaving? What about me?
Sorry, I have someone busting me, and only me, outta here!
Hey, thanks man, I owe you one
Arrrrr! Just find us some fine wenches and grog, arrrrrrr!
I'm afraid...
Don't worry, I'll send someone to take care of you...hehe

 

Many weeks later
Sigh ... does Huzzah even remember that I'm here?
Huzzah! You came to rescue me!
Abast, ye scurvy dog! Swab the deck 'fore I make ye walk the plank!
Um ... why are you talking like that?
You'd be talking like this too if you'd been sailing the seven seas while raping, pillaging, and plundering with a crew of buccaneers! Arr!

 

...so what happened?
Arrrrrr! Me tale is long but grand. Just sit right back and hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip...
...that started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship
Arrr, I was sailin off the coast of Madagascar with Gilligan and the ski..
WAIT WAIT WAIT!
That's just rambling mixed in with Gilligans Island!
...okay true. But there was a slut named Mary Ann!

 

Well ... at least tell me about the slut so its not a total loss.
Certainly, me heartie. I've a picture that'll do right by ye ...
Wait a fucking minute! Thats my mom! Why is she standing like that?
It's the only way she COULD stand after me and the crew were done with her ...
I hate you ... you know that, right?

 

Arrrrrrr!!! It's been six weeks we've been at see
Aye Captain Bob! Yee-arrrr...
What do ye suggest we do, First Mate, Huzzah?!
Yarrr...throw ye overboard, ye scurvy dog!
Walk the plank, ye villianous land-lubber!
...dude...our ship is a plank, you fuck!

 

Swab the deck, matey, whilst I man the helm!
We have a helm?
... Seconds pass ...
Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate's life fer me ...
Arrr! Back so soon?
Not only did I mop the entire piece of wood, but I walked the plank, as well ... TWICE!

 

Arrr! For that insolence, ye shall go below the decks!
WHAT DECKS?!
..Ye...ye know...the decks..
Oh, why don't you can it Howard? You're a shitty pirate
I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT! *sob sob*
Sheesh, he's a bigger pussy than Pervis

 

You called?
Dude ... how the hell did you get out here?
I took 'humpback' and 'sperm' whales a bit too seriously as far as their names go.
...
What? Why are you looking at me like that?
That has to be the single most disturbing and ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

 

That son of a bitch Bob. Standing me on this fucking island....Oh shit, what's that?!
Yaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!!!!!!
Great! Another pirate! I'm a dead man! (well not exactly, man)
Well hellloooooo!!!!!!!
Great! A gay pirate! I'm so outta here...
Oh, honey, even stranded on an island you MUST coordinate better than that! It's just nasssty!

 

So ... Captain Liberace, how exactly did you get onto this island?
Yarrrr, me honeys and I hijacked a ship in order to seek out the greatest treasure of them all ... The Chosen Anus.
Um ... as much as I don't want you to, continue.
The fabled Chosen Anus is reputedly the greatest piece of ass in the 7 seas. Legend tells of a bug-eyed man with blonde hair that possesses such a colon.
I think I know where this is going ...
Do, ye, me honey? Care to join my buccaneer crew? Finest sailors this side of the Village People, they are!

 

I'm gonna level with you people...Coming up with ideas is really tough right now
So I propose you send us all your shitty ideas for what we can do next with this plot line, and maybe we'll listen
Send them to: worshipyellowsocks@ameritech.net
Yarrrrrr!!!!!!!

 

Hey guys, it's been awhile. I see none of our "fans" have sent Mike any plot suggestions yet.
I TOLD you that you were imagining them!
But seriously, guys, send any ideas you may have to worshipyellowsocks@ameritech.net and we might try to put them in the comic.

 

Hey, Huzzah, I was...
I am...the creator!!! I am...the creator! I am the...I am the...
Oh...shit you've been in your cabinet listening to techno again!
Mm-Tss Mm-Tss Mm-Tss Mm-tss!
*SLAP*
OW!
SMACK MY BITCH UP!!!

 

by what_the_krevice
10-04-03
Huzzah ...
LIGHTSWITCH RAVE!
CLICK!
CLICK!
I'm lost for words ...
All your base ... base ... base ... All your base ... are belong to us!

Showing page 3.

« Previous Next »