All comics by Namgubed

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by Namgubed
8-15-02
Meanwhile, back at Universal Studios ...
Sorry, folks, the auditions are for someone to play CAPTAIN Kidd!

 

by Namgubed
8-16-02
Thank goodness Dr. McHooter's finally here!
What seems to be the problem, Farmer Brown?
Well, I gave my donkeys these here fertility drugs, but now they're reproducin' at the rate of ... 3.14, uh, offspring ... per ... aaah, fergit it.
* CUT! Take 27! *
Really, I can't work like this.
Come on, just once more? I swear I'll get it right this time.

 

by Namgubed
8-19-02
So dere I was, huntin' dose snowshoe rabbits, right before da snows come, and dey're all camouflaged. I'm gettin' one in my sights, when I stepped on a twig an' spooked 'im.
Off 'e goes at a dead run, but I manage to hit 'im wit my .22, an' 'e goes, "yeek! yeek!" an' flops over dead. Yep, some go wit a lot o' noise, some go quietly ...
... an' some just explode.

 

by Namgubed
8-21-02
Moh!

 

by Namgubed
8-23-02
... so all this hypertension causes you to grind your teeth at night, making them sensitive to frozen foods?
Even the thought of popsicles or ice cream sends shivers down my spine, my body's aching all the time ...
You must lower your blood pressure with a low-sodium diet, and regular exercise will help relieve stress, also. Now go see the nurse for your prescription.
Thanks, Doc! You know, it feels as if my life has just begun!
Awaiting prescription orders ...
More shock therapy! And don't forget to wire his jaws shut!

 

by Namgubed
8-25-02
Doctor you must help my son! He was playing near the toxic waste dump, and his ears have begun to mutate! Spare him his life from this monstrosity!
Bring him in, and I'll examine him right away.
My goodness, Billy! It looks like you've grown two feet since I've seen you last.

 

by Namgubed
8-26-02
Dan Fogelberg, 1977:
We love you, Dan!
Oh yeah? Well, let's screw!
However, a recent conversation with his doctor springs to mind ...
You can't go around screwing all these random sluts and groupies. You could get some seriously bad mojo!
I can't get no satisfaction?!?
Will you do the fan, Dan?
GO!!
Thunderbolt and lightning! I wasted all that money on a backstage pass!

 

by Namgubed
8-29-02
I won? What contest did I win?
STRIPCREATOR'S TIGHTEST ANUS COMPETITION!!!
There's really no need to continue this strip, is there?
NO, I GUESS NOT.

 

by Namgubed
8-29-02
... and winner for Outstanding Essay on Automobile Safety: Maura!
Hooray!
You win a free trip to Washington DC, where your idea will be presented in the houses of Congress!
Wow!
And you also win a date with Senator Ted Kennedy!!
Let's talk about anti-drowning safety features!
GAAH!!

 

by Namgubed
8-30-02
... and the Grand Prize of the custom-made guitar and banjo set goes to ...
... come on, say it! Me me me please please please ...
... Maura!! Congratulatons! Presenting this year's prize: to know 'em is to love 'em ... Cletus and Bubba!
* APPLAUSE *
Yes!!
Now say hello to Nashville's very own Miss Purty Mouth 2002!!
♫ ding-a ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ... ♫
Uh-oh ...

 

by Namgubed
9-06-02
As most elves are, I was born in a place that doesn't exist ... West Germany. -- Well, OK, it's still there, but it's just called Germany now.
Dü haßt ein kleine mensch mit zehn fingerschen ...
Wow, he's hung like a rhino! Oh wait, that's just the umbilical cord.
As a military family, we moved around a bit. Our next destination: the idyllic suburbs of New Jersey, where my early childhood was filled with repressed bad memories ...
Lobo, waaaiiiit!
Must chase rabbit across the street ... **KA-THUMP**
On second thought, there were lots of good memories, too ...
Well, there's one woodchuck who won't be raiding our garden anymore!
Gee, tastes like chicken! Except for the shotgun pellets ...

 

by Namgubed
9-06-02
After several years, we moved to Maryland ...
SAFE !!
Wow, inside the park home runs in my first and last at-bats of the season! I am a tee-ball GOD!
And then back to Germany.
Pass the jaegerschnitzel and the liebfraumilch. And how was your class trip to Switzerland?
Deutschland, Deutschland über alles!
I turned into quite the bookworm. But while I got good grades, it wasn't too good for the eyesight.
Your vision can't be that bad ... read that sign over there.
What sign?

 

by Namgubed
9-06-02
Then the middle school gave IQ tests to kids with high exam scores ...
144! You are officially a mentally gifted little genius.
That's a relief. I was beginning to think everyone else was just stupid!
My quest for excellence expanded to the field of music as well.
You will play first chair. You certainly have a musical gift.
I can see we're going to run that joke straight into the ground.
Then we got stationed in Arizona. Rather than flying straight there, Dad bought a new car, had it delivered to our transatlantic landing spot. And the cross-country journey began!
Gosh! Kansas is so ... flat.
Mom, are we there yet?

 

by Namgubed
9-06-02
In high school, I was introduced to the wonderful world of computers!
Wow! This TRS-80 has 48K memory, and TWO floppy disk drives!
In my senior year, I placed 46th in the state math contest, passed the AP Calc test for college credit, earned a full tuition scholarship with my SAT scores, and missed the prom. Go figure.
Ostentatious social gatherings? What a waste of time!
In college, I was introduced to the wonderful world of chicks!
I'd be REALLY grateful if you'd help me with my homework!
Ooh, she's staring at my package!

 

by Namgubed
9-06-02
Not only did I have a yen to explore academics ...
Breaking into the University president's office was easy!
Now to grab a couple of monogrammed towels from his personal washroom, and I'll be on my way ...
It seems one pebble may start an avalanche ...
Hello, what's this on his desk? A letter from his daughter in the admin branch, slamming the dean of Arts & Sciences!
Oooh, internal politics! My roommate should get a kick out of this.
Sure enough ...
You made a copy of the letter, gave it to the dean, who complained to the president, and now his daughter is resigning?
Sweet!

 

by Namgubed
9-06-02
However, a college education requires a lot more than brainwork.
I have to maintain a 3.5 GPA to keep my scholarship? Doesn't sound too hard ...
Except for all that "turning in assignments" stuff.
Needless to say, I soon had to find an alternate source of funding.
Sign me up for the reserves, Mr. Army Recruiter!
You're ABSOLUTELY SURE you're not gay? All right, then sign on the dotted line, son!
Sure enough ...
Besides, it's highly unlikely we'll be involved in a war anytime soon ...
President Bush orders more reserve troops to Desert Shield! Details at 11:00!

 

by Namgubed
9-06-02
Meanwhile, back in Saudi Arabia ...
♫ Love in Iraq, would be a big surprise, said they'd leave Kuwait, what a pack of lies ... ♫
♫ Georrge Bush said, "I want you," Yeah, like they really need you, suddenly you find you're out there, fightin' Desert Storm ... ♫
Fortunately, I was a medic in a rear echelon hospital unit.
Say, pass me another Perrier; all this Neil Diamond singing makes my throat dry.

 

by Namgubed
9-06-02
After the war, college life continues ...
The syntax error in your program is caused by this zero, which should be a capital O.
You figured that out in three minutes? Wow, you're like some kind of debugging superhero!
Thus the moniker of Debugman was born!
Debugman, save me!
Yet another fair maiden in distress! This looks like a job for ...
And so eventually, I graduated. Although not with honors, and certainly not in four years ...
Look, I got a piece of sheepskin with my name on it. IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU??

 

by Namgubed
9-06-02
Then came the inevitable interviews ...
We can offer you a position of communications drudgery with a pittance of a salary.
Um ... I'll get back to you.
Eventually ...
How would you like to do some programming for a decent salary?
Sign me up!
My career has pretty much been a Dilbert storyline since then.
This is Catbert, our new evil HR director.
I have no mouth, and I must scream ...

 

by Namgubed
9-06-02
And what does the future have in store?
A huge Wall Street company wants to buy your patent for a couple mil!
Scroe!
It could happen ... emphasis on COULD.
Hi, I'm Anna Kournikova. Do you have a steady income?
Scroe!
Let a guy dream, OK?
**BZZZT** The time is 6:00, and it looks like another Arizona scorcher ...
Zzzzzzz ...

 

by Namgubed
9-09-02
Say, Wirthling, would you go over and see what's wrong with the pigeon launcher?
...
[img]http://www.stripcreator.com/images/props/splat1.gif[/img]
Uh ... no thanks.

 

by Namgubed
9-09-02
Rook out!
Eet's Godzirra!
[img]http://www.stripcreator.com/images/props/fire.gif[/img]

 

by Namgubed
9-09-02
[img]http://www.stripcreator.com/images/forumusers/gabe1.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.stripcreator.com/images/forumusers/spankling2.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.stripcreator.com/images/whenigrowup/wigudonkey1-1.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.stripcreator.com/images/whenigrowup/wiguhelmut1-1.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.stripcreator.com/images/threereasons/feetforears2.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.stripcreator.com/images/threereasons/asiangirl1.gif[/img]

 

by Namgubed
9-12-02
Then after I replace Joey Fatone and buy myself a ticket on a Russian spaceship ...
My god, it's full of stories! And look, there's a huge black monolith, Brer Rabbit and de star baby!
Something highly irregular is going to happen ...
Something wonderful! Obijo's finally going to judge the contest!
Yeah, but when?
Soon!

 

by Namgubed
9-16-02
Meanwhile, back in Austria ...
(Jumps out of cake) ♫ Happy birthday, Mr. President ... ♫
Scroe!
* DING DONG *
Dude! Bitchin' party! But there's a cop at the door, probably to tell us to keep the noise down.
*sigh* Guess I'll take care of it.
The guy next door? I think he goes by the name of sub-m7.
Do you know of any reason he would buy himself a birthday cake, dress up in a tutu and scuba flippers, and then hang himself?

 

by Namgubed
9-16-02
Earlier that evening ...
You here for the party?
Yes, I heard there were free peanuts!
Let me tally the blow-up doll consensus ...
No. Unanimously.
I hate democratic parties.

 

by Namgubed
9-23-02
Hey Barnacle Bill, how did you get that hook and peg leg?
Lost me hand crossin' sabres wit' Captain Hornblower, an' lost me leg to a broadside from a Spanish galleon. Aye, matey!
What about the eye?
Ahrr, 'twas a seagull crapped in me eye.
How could bird crap put out your eye??
'Twas me first day wit' the hook, ye swab! Ahrr!

 

by Namgubed
9-24-02
♫ The revenge of Montezuma leaves a brown and smelly stain! ♫
♫ If you're thirsty down in Mexico, it behooves you to refrain! ♫
♫ Sure, it looks like harmless water, ♫
♫ Then you're doubled up in pain! ♫
♫ And you'll wish that someone merciful ♫
♫ Puts a bullet in your brain! ♫

 

by Namgubed
9-24-02
♫ Oh, what a beautiful porn queen ... ♫
Five dollars!
♫ Oh, what a beautiful lay ... ♫
Fi' dollah!
♫ I've got a beautiful feeling I need penicillin today! ♫
Five dollars!

 

by Namgubed
9-25-02
♫ ... Whose screams pierce the drums of a thousand ears ... ♫
AHH-AH-AH-AHHHHH!!
AHH-AH-AH-AHHHHH!!
AHH-AH-AH-AHHHHH!!

 

by Namgubed
9-25-02
♫ But that fills my heart with the sound of music ... ♫
AHH-AH-AH-AHHHHH!!
AHH-AH-AH-AHHHHH!!

 

by Namgubed
9-25-02
♫ Because they're a bunch of annoying little queers! ♫
AHH-AHHH-AH-AH-AHHH!!
AHH-AHHH-AH-AH-AHHH!!
AHH-AHHH-AH-AH-AHHH!!

 

by Namgubed
9-25-02
Meanwhile, back at the ranch ...
We've finally restored power to the Turbine Graviton Generator!
Ha! Excellent! Let's check out the seismometer readings in the lab!
(MOSEYING!!)
(MOSEYING!!)
Back at the lab ...
♫ I'm picking up good vibrations ... ♫
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by Namgubed
10-10-02
There goes one of them! Catch him, Madonna!
I'm running as fast as I can in these heels, Christine Ag-- Agwhatever. Dive at his heels, Brittney!
Are you crazy? I might, like, pop an implant or something!

 

by Namgubed
10-12-02
Who's our next suspect, Yablonski?
Satan, of course! He's very, very evil! And I have a feeling he knows something. We'll just extract that information with the old good cop / bad cop technique! You go first.
* RIGHT HOOK *
TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW, YOU MURDERING LIAR!!
Ow!
* LEFT CROSS *
YOU'RE HIDING SOMETHING, AREN'T YOU, YOU LYING, MURDERING WASTE OF LIFE!!
Turning the other cheek is just NOT my schtick!

 

by Namgubed
10-16-02
Meanwhile, back at the ranch ...
Arf!
LITTLE ANNOYING DOG CLOSELY RESEMBLES FOOTBALL! TIME FOR FIELD GOAL!!
Good thing I had the drop on that bucket of bolts with my handy vat of sulfuric acid!
Thanks for saving my dog Supertramp, Auntie Em! Say, what's that funnel-shaped cloud over yonder?
* WHOOSH!! *
I suggested we move out of that trailer park, but nooooo!
Rorothy! Relp!

 

by Namgubed
10-16-02
* KA-THUMP!! *
Woof!
Look, Supertramp! Our house landed in a strange place where all the cameras have Technicolor film! I wonder what those weird midgets are celebrating ...
(DANCING!!)
Diing, donge teh bich's ded!
Yown adn strech! Giv mee hedd!
I am Glenda, the Nice Bitch of the North. You have killed the Wiccan Bitch of the East, and for that, we are in your debt.
I'm Dorothy. Look, just get me out of this hippie commune, and we'll call it even, OK? Wait, did you say Glen, or Glenda?

 

by Namgubed
10-16-02
Only the Retard of Oz can help you get back home. He lives in Sapphire City. To get there, you must follow the red brick wall!
Great, wouldn't you know it. Come on, Supertramp, let's go!
(DANCING!!)
♫ Foloow teh redd brik waal! ♫
♫ Foloow teh redd brik waal! ♫
Arf!
You're right, Supertramp. This place is gayer than Liberace!

 

by Namgubed
10-18-02
* RUMBLE! *
Whine!
You're right, Supertramp, looks like rain! We can take shelter in that silo by this wheat field. Hurry!
Look at all this grain! I'm beginning to think we're in Kansas again! And what a curious looking half-naked scarecrow!
It's not a glorious job, although I must say I'm outstanding in my field! Could you help me down from here?
There, how's that? By the way, I'm Dorothy, and my dog Supertramp and I are going to see the Retard of Oz!
Thanks, Dorothy! Say, maybe the Retard of Oz can help me find my magical rockin' Stratocaster!

 

by Namgubed
10-18-02
♫ We're off to see the Retard, the wonderful Retard of Oz! ♫
♫ We hear he is a 'tard of a 'tard if ever a 'tard there wOz! ♫
Oh, look! Supertramp found some metal man with an axe!
A metalhead with an axe?? HE'S GOT MY MAGIC FENDER STRATOCASTER!!
"No, just a wood-chopping axe ..." "Oh! Must be some crappy Epiphone."
Bark!
WD-40 ... need ... WD-40 ...

 

by Namgubed
10-18-02
I found the WD-40! Let's see ... just a little on the joints here and there ... *GA-SHPRITZ!*
*CREEEAK!* Hey, thanks! I was chopping some wood, and got caught out in that rain storm!
I'm Dorothy! The Scarecrow, Supertramp and I are going to see the Retard of Oz!
Great! Maybe he can get me a CPU upgrade. This Celeron is a piece of crap!
♫ We're off to see the Retard ... ♫
♫ We're off to see the Retard ... ♫

 

by Namgubed
10-18-02
Meanwhile, back at the castle, the Wiccan Bitch of the West gazes at his crystal ball ...
If by "crystal ball" you mean "monitored motion-activated hidden camera network," then you're pretty close.
* RUMBLE! *
It looks like Dorothy has gathered some companions, and is headed straight for -- GAAAH!
Um... It seems we've had a lightning strike, sir.
I told you to get me a surge suppressor, not some cheap-ass power strip!! This is SO coming out of your paycheck!

 

by Namgubed
10-18-02
Now, get out there and spy on those morons!
Yes sir! Right away, sir!
Meanwhile, at just another brick in the wall ...
♫ ... Because, because, because, because, becaaaaaause, ♫
♫ Because of the retarded things he dause! ♫ -- Supertramp! Stop chasing after the forest animals!
GROWWL!!!
Yipe!

 

by Namgubed
10-18-02
What do you mean by growling at poor little Supertramp like that? Why I oughtta ...
Oh, I'm sorry! You see, I growl at everything that comes near me, 'cause I can't see straight on account of my lazy eye.
No harm done. Say, all of us are going to see the Retard of Oz; maybe he can help you, too! My name's Dorothy. And you are ...?
Pleased to meet you. My name is Gladley, and I'll be happy to join your little group!
"Gladley the Cross-Eyed Bear?"
I wouldn't!! Frankly, I can't tell you how glad I am to be off that thing!

 

by Namgubed
10-18-02
Later, at the edge of the forest ...
We're finally out of the woods! But this field of strange, multileafed plants makes me feel ... so ... y'know what I'm saying? 'Cause we got a communication goin' here!
Dude, look at my hands! Duuuude, I can, like, almost see straight! And I'm like, hungry as a bear, dude!
Uh-oh, my monitored motion-activated hidden camera network shows Dorothy in my cash crop! I'd better activate the turbine powered meteorologic transmogrifier!
Dude this sudden snowfall is really bringin' me down! Metal Man, is that you?
... need ... WD-40 ...

 

by Namgubed
10-18-02
There it is! I can see Sapphire City from here!
Rafrire Ritty!
Come on, let's hurry!
Don't you think it's about time we had a rest? I mean, this cold weather's really doing a number on my stigmata!
But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep!
OK, now you're just being silly.

 

by Namgubed
10-19-02
Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Doom ...
Report!
Sir! Dorothy and her companions are approaching the gates of Sapphire City.
Aha, just as I suspected! If I guess correctly, the Retard of Oz will send them on a fool's errand right into my clutches! Mwa ha ha ha haaaa!
Mwa ha ha haaaa!
Shut up.
Yes, sir.

 

by Namgubed
10-19-02
Meanwhile, back at Gotham - er - I mean Sapphire City ...
The road ends here at this wall. But where's the gate? It must be covered by this huge snow drift! What do we do now?
I'll just overheat my Celeron processor and melt that snow in no time!
One thousand digits of pi.
(MELTING!!)
There's the gate, let's go!
Thanks, Metal Man, all that snow was just unbearable!

 

by Namgubed
10-19-02
Halt! Who goes there?
My name's Dorothy, and these other folks are Scarecrow, Metal Man, Gladley, and Supertramp. We're here to see the Retard of Oz!
Yo, Hernandez! Tell these people how to see the Retard!
It's easy! Just go to the City Hall on Tard Street, and take the elevator to the 69th floor!
♫ I've looked at love from both sides now, from give and take, and still somehow ... ♫
Here's the elevator! Just press the "69" button there.
Ah! Here it is. **PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH**

 

by Namgubed
10-19-02
I AM THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE OZ! WHY DO YOU DISTURB ME?
If it please your highness, Supertramp and I need to get home, Scarecrow lost his Strat, Metal Man needs an upgrade, and Gladley can't see straight.
WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, SANTA CLAUS? FIRST, YOU MUST BRING ME THE RETRACTIBLE PHALLUS OF THE WICCAN BITCH OF THE WEST!
B-but ...
NO BUTS! THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE OZ HAS SPOKEN! OFF YOU GO, BYE-BYE NOW.
Crap! Mega-weak, dude!

Showing page 4.

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