All comics by descolada99

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by descolada99
12-03-01
Hey Liz...
Hey Jason.
Damn I wanna kiss her.
hehehe he wants to kiss me.
...
CHICKEN!!!!

 

by descolada99
12-04-01
Ho ho ho!!!!!
You rang?

 

by descolada99
12-05-01
It was suggested by NeoVid that since I now have 154 forum posts and 154 comics, I shold make a comic per post (and vice versa) to be a Colossal Geek.
While I admire his suggestion (and just may do it for awhile), I am already a Colossal Geek.
I'm buying a C3-P0 toy with detachable limbs and carrying bag like Chewie had in Star Wars.

 

by descolada99
12-09-01
Wanna hear a pirate joke, ol' chap?
No,and just because I'm British doesn't mean I talk like that.
Wellll I'm gonna tell you anyway. What's a pirate's favorite place to eat?
I don't know. Where?
Arrrrrrrrrrrby's
*weep*

 

by descolada99
12-09-01
You're relatively new hear. Wanna hear a pirate joke?
Sure, why not. How bad can it be?
What did the pirate hit with his car?
I have no clue.
An arrrrrrrrmadillo!
You are not well, are you?

 

by descolada99
4-05-02
Hello. My name is Jason. I've been away for nearly half a year. But I'm back
He was my BITCH for about half a year!
No, I was laid off and depressed and crazy. Not your bitch.
Shut up. Bitch.
That's it. I knew I shouldn't have come back.
Look at him show me his ass. Told ya he was my bitch.

 

by descolada99
4-05-02
In a world where pants toil in a totalitarian society, one pair decides to make a difference..
Where are my pants?
..A rebel breaking from the ranks of the pants to win the love of his life.
Where are my pants?
From Wetdreamworks JLo comes this summer's newest animated feature - Pantz.
Where are my pants?!

 

by descolada99
4-08-02
In a freak accident involving fish, Guinness and a toaster, Super Britainman accidentally rips a hole in the space time continuum.
*blink*
*blink*
Transporting none other than Bizarro Super Britainman into the Super X Fantasic League Headquarters!
*blink*
*blink*
How are we going to tell them apart, Captain Looks Vaguely Like Steven Speilburg?!
I don't know Cancer Stick X, but we better do it before Aquaman gets here. You know how he hates the British and their "fish and chips."

 

by descolada99
4-08-02
Aren't Bizarro World people all supposed to have goatees?
Damn! I guess in the Bizarro World the aftermath of grunge was everyone shavign their goatees.
We could always ask Captain Obvious...
What, and hear him say "Woah, two Super Britainmans!" then leave to download more kitty porn?
Meanwhile, in the Obvious Cave (right off Route 5 next to Wal-Mart)
Woah! That cat is naked!

 

by descolada99
4-08-02
Well now what, Captain Looks Vaguely Like Steen Speilburg?
We could dematerialize them and do a spectroanalysis ont heir molecules to determine each one's dimension of origin.
Too expensive.
We could just toss them into The Cage with Tobor and forget about it.
Too messy.
I've got it, Cancer Stick X! A cooking contest! Super Britainman's bad British cooking will be a giveaway!

 

by descolada99
4-08-02
So the Super X Fantastic League gets the only man qualified for the judging.
'Ello! I'm the Severed Head Of Jamie Oliver! This is gonna be some pukka tukka, chaps!
Mmmm.. slightly nutty with a hint of orgeno and.. oh God.. what the? That's FOUL!!!
Ohhh that's gorgeous!! this is some mighty pukka tukka. Right-o!

 

by descolada99
4-08-02
Pfewww.. we got lucky there. Thank God for teh Severed Head Of Jamie Oliver!
Yeah. I can only imagine the horrors that Bizarro Super Britainman would have brought to America, then the world!
America? You mean those stupid blokes that grow us tobacco and cotton? Ahh those silly colonies.
Uh ohhhh.....
Uh ohhhh.....

 

by descolada99
4-09-02

 

by descolada99
4-10-02
Hello dear readers. I know I look just like almost every othe rblack character introduced to Stripcreator, but deal with it.
My name is Big Pun. You'll quickly see why.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

 

by descolada99
4-10-02
Hey kids! Big Pun here again!
I know it's been only a day, but I've been itching to say this since they let me int he door.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

 

by descolada99
4-10-02
Hey boyez and goilz. Big Pun here again. See, descolada can't write real funny strips, so he relies on cheap and easy jokes.
My wife is pregant with twins.
They're womb-mates.

 

by descolada99
4-10-02
Hey. Big Pun here again. Told ya last time abotu my wife being pregnant with twins.
I tell you, it's kinda scary thinking about being a father.
Definately an heir-raising experience.

 

by descolada99
4-10-02
Big Pun here. Did you hear the big news?
My wife gave birth to the twins yesterday.
It was Two's-day.

 

by descolada99
4-10-02
'Sup yo? Big Pun back for another round.
I like to fancy mysellf an amateur psychologist. Take Freudian Slips.
That's when you say one thing but mean a mother

 

by descolada99
4-10-02
Hey. Big Pun is a bit down today.
My sister was dating a great guy with a wooden leg.
Unfortuantely, she broke it off.

 

by descolada99
4-10-02
Hey. I was thinking back to some of my college exploits.
I took a girl out to dinner, then back to my place to see my stamp collection.
Too bad she told me philately would get me nowhere..

 

by descolada99
4-10-02
Hey loyal readers. I wanted to tell you about my great idea for an invention.
See, I wanted to use newspapers to make belts.
Investors told me it would be a waist of paper.

 

by descolada99
4-11-02
Howdy folks. Dubya here to show you photographic evidence of the Axes of Evil in the deserts of Iran and Iraq!!!
Near the Iran-Iraq Border...
See!! Lookit there!! Axes of Evil!!!

 

by descolada99
4-11-02
With so much drama in the LBC, it's kinda hard bein' Snoop D O Double G
But I somehow, someway, keep comin' up with funky ass shit, like every single day.
May I kick a little something for the Gs. And make a few Ns as I breeze through 2 in the mornin', and the party's still jumpin'
Cause my momma ain't home. I got bitches in the livin' room, gettin' it on, and they aint' leavin' until 6 in the mornin'.
What'chu wanna do? Shit, I got a pocket full of rubbers, and my homeboys do too. So turn off the lights and close the doors.
But, but what? We don't love them hos. Yeah, so we gotta smoke an ounce to this. Gs up, hos down, while you muthafuckers bounce to this.

 

by descolada99
4-11-02
Tobor, the cornholing robot.
RARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
His wife, Emma.
Honey, quit cornholing and take out the garbage.
And little Junior.
*rarrr*?

 

by descolada99
4-11-02
I know alot of you viewers have this image of Tobor being an embodiment of evil, only interested in manrape.
Let me tell you something though, he's actually quite a dedicated family man and wonderful father now.
Well, except for that incident with Scott Baio, but we don't talk about that around here.
Only Scott Baio could ever really love my inner cornholer...

 

by descolada99
4-11-02
RARRR! Hey Junior! Welcome back from summer camp!
Hey dad.
How was it?
It sucked. Everyone hated me and I got in trouble for cornholing the other kids.
Well, did you have some fun at least?
I had fun cornholing the other kids.

 

by descolada99
4-11-02
Honey, I think you need to have a talk with Junior. This summer camp thing is really bugging him.
What? When I was his age I was cornholing kids twice my age!
Yes, but I got a call from Jimmy's dad, down the street. He said he had to take his son to the hospital.
The little bastard was probably asking for it.
Yes, but you know, today the world is different. Parents just don't let their kids go around cornholing each other anymore.
RARRRRR!!! I'll give him something to go to the hospital for!!!!

 

by descolada99
4-11-02
Damnit Tobor, how many times have I told you to quit stalking Scott Baio. Come back inside for dinner.

 

by descolada99
4-11-02
Hey Jimmy. Your mom said I could visit you if I apologized.
Apologize for what? All you did was SHOVE AN ALUMINUM CYLINDER UP MY ASS!!!!
Yeah, but it was an aluminum cylinder of friendship...
Where are you going?
Either get out of my room or I'll show you my Chainsaw of Searing Ass Pain.

 

by descolada99
4-12-02
You wanted to see me?
Hey, why did you leave?

 

by descolada99
4-15-02
Hello, did you find everything okay?
(Holding NYC skyline greeting card) Yeah, but is it sick of me to want to send this greeting card saying 'wish you were here 9/11'?
*uncomfortable, ringing up purchase* Man, that's harsh..
Yeah, but she put me in jail for 3 days.
Maybe you should quit violating that restraining order.
Have a good day!

 

by descolada99
4-16-02
I do this for a reason... I have sex with any guy that asks..
I have sex with any girl that asks... I do anything people want, but I do it for a cause!
I do this to bring light to the plight of the overused, underappreciated women of our society! Equal rights NOW!!

 

by descolada99
4-17-02
I've invented something too, dear Caractacus.
Really? What's that?
It's a giant vibrator that flies, floats, and moves itself. It's almost sentient!!
Ummm reaaallllly.... that's nice, Truly.
*bzzzzz*
I call it Clitty Clitty Bang Bang.

 

by descolada99
4-22-02
Elvis lives. I've seen him. First in San Fran. A few years later in Kansas City. Finally, in Baltimore.
Always the journeyman, Elvis longed to be able to settle down again, but he was never accepted anywhere. Now he's retired..
What? Who's Elvis Presley? I thought you meant Elvis Grbac....

 

by descolada99
6-03-03
Father! Father! It's the end of the world! The Devil is bringing ultimate doom! UN black helicopters and tanks and an army of Martha Stewart clones! Hellllllp!!!!
Come my child, in this time of need we must stay calm and stay close to God.
No matter what, staying close to God will send you to heaven. And the church is God on Earth.
*urp*
So as a priest of this church, come closer to God, my son, and all will be well. No, closer. Lower. I SAID LOWER, DAMNIT!

 

by descolada99
6-03-03
'Sup Gabe, long time no see. How about a pirate joke?
I'd rather not, but seeing as I'm stuck here why not?
Why was the Pirate put under quarantine?
I have no clue.
He had SARRRRRRRRRRS.
You shouldn't have come back.

 

by descolada99
6-04-03
Camp X-Ray, Cuba
Allllllright you terrorist sympathiser, who do you work for?!
Look Cheney, I'm not a terrorist sympathiser. I went to one protest last summer and got locked up for spray painting "Beavis Rules!" on W's limo.
That's it. You're a tough one but we'll crack you. GUARD!!! Bring in the ultimate torture device.
Tonight, on "Two Guys, A Girl And A Pizza Place".....
AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

 

by descolada99
6-05-03
Indiana House of Representatives, 1897
Ladies and Genltemen I am Dr. Edwin Goodwin, Representative to this fine body, and I propose the following legislation:
I have trisected the angle, duplicated the cube, and squared the circle. House Bill 246 will use my discovery and set pi = 4!
These problems had been long since given up by scientific bodies as insolvable mysteries and above man’s ability to comprehend.
Even better, I will allow Indiana to copyright this value and charge other states a royalty to use it in their math books. It's free money!
Furthermore, I propose legislation that will make up down, black white and me the emperor of Taffy Land.
mmmm. Taffy.

 

by descolada99
6-05-03
Can you hear me now?
Can you hear me now?
Can you hear me now?
Grrrrrrrrr
How about this? Can you hear this, bitch?!

 

by descolada99
6-05-03
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch.
Yarrrr I be havin meself a beer, matey!
Sure thing,here ya go.
That be a good beer.
I gotta ask ya one thing though. Why is there a steering wheel attached to your crotch?
Yarrrr I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!

 

by descolada99
6-05-03
Hey there Asian Girl On The Right, wanna hear a pirate joke?
No.
When did the boy pirate become a man pirate?
*sigh* I don't know, when?
On me Barrrrrrrrrrr Mitzvah!
*weep*

 

by descolada99
6-05-03
Yo Butch, wanna hear a pirate joke?
Uhhhh okay?
Why didn't the pirate go to Vietnam?
I don't know. Why?
Because of me fallen arrrrrrches!

 

by descolada99
6-05-03
I'm totally blanking on original humor, so how about another pirate joke?
You live a sad, lonely life, don't you?
Why'd the pirate get thrown out of the casino?
This better be better than the last one...
'Cause I was cheatin' at carrrrrrrrds.

 

by descolada99
6-06-03
I got my new cat. His name is Monkey.
Awwww how cute.
Yeah, one time he was trying to jump up on my couch and he was too small so he couldn't get up.
So your Monkey is too small and can't get up?
Yeah, it was r... shit. I walked right into that.
*smirk*

 

by descolada99
6-08-03
Yarrrr, who farrrrrrrrrted?

 

by descolada99
6-26-03
Ron Popeil here. Are you tired of the poor service, perfmormance and sub-par amorous abilities of your Mexican houseboy?
Am I ever! And he's totally useless as an object of my lust.
If you answered yes, then you need the brand new and improved Extreeeeme Romanian Gypsy Orphan 5000, with new and improved Extreme Sex Toy Mode!
Yes!
Your house will never be so spotless and your sex life never so fulfilled. Remember our motto: Whip Him and Forget Him!
I should give one to dad for Father's Day. He'd love one.

 

by descolada99
6-26-03
Hey you! With the bad hair!
Me?
If you turned to the TV and said "me?" our product is for you. The Hair Weasel 9000 is the answer to your hair styling needs.
Hair..... weasel?
Endorsed by comedic genius Joe Piscopo, the Hair Weasel 9000 uses genetically engineered, razor sharp claws to cut and style your hair to PERFECTION.
Joe Piscopo AND weasels? Sign me up!

 

by descolada99
12-19-06
2004
2005
2006

 

by descolada99
12-19-06
Sorry I'm late. There was a tie up at the day care center
Oh that's HORRIBLE! All those poor souls.
Ohhh hehe nooo I just had to pick up my kid.
Oh. *phew*
I tell ya, they grow up so fast. One day they are newborns, the next they are reaping the souls of a dozen toddlers as a prank. Boys will be boys, eh?

Showing page 4.

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