All comics by seanator

 

One fine day...
Impossible! How can we find a kid douche baggy enough to play a younger Matthew Perry?
by seanator, 4-22-09

 

by seanator
4-23-09
One fine day...
Well I am completely qualified for one, and I saw that nobody else applied for the position.
I'm sorry, you're just not what were looking for.
How? how can I not be what you are looking for? I am a perfect fit with this company.
You do fit in perfectly.
That's the problem, you're fucking ugly. What did you think a secretary was FOR?

 

by seanator
4-27-09
One fine day...
Come here and give your grandmother a kiss!
I can't, you'll smear my lipgloss.
You put on lipgloss?
Well no, my dad put on lipgloss before we made out.
...and to be completely honest im not sure who's moustache tickles me more.

 

by seanator
4-27-09
One fine day...
Hey, we should rent a U-haul so we don't need to hassel your dad with the truck.
Sounds great.
Hey man great news, the U-haul rental is only 20 dollars!
Awesome!
But can you ask your dad if we can use the truck to tow it?

 

by seanator
4-27-09
One fine day...
i didn't get the job...
Sorry dude, why not?
the boss said I am overqualified...
Overqualified is just 'boss speak'
For 'underqualified'.

 

by seanator
4-28-09
One fine day...
Hey asshole, give me all of your valuables! I'm going to rob you blind and rape your wife!
Hold on a sec.
You arent in charge here.
Well can I at least go to my room real quick and get my gun? That's why I have it here.
Well.... HURRY IT UP!
Hey I forgot where I hid my ammunition lockbox key, could you check the couch real quick? I'll go check the car.

 

by seanator
4-28-09
One fine day...
Hey shithead, give me your wallet and cell phone.
Wait!
Wait? Why should I do that asshole?
I have a gun, its just a few blocks away in my house.
Oh in that case nevermind.

 

by seanator
4-28-09
One fine day...
Did you fucking hear??? The president is probably going to outlaw double-sided dildos!
FUCK! We need to stock up on them before it's too late!
In other news, the price of double-sided dildos has skyrocketed due to high demand up to 300%!
A national shortage is expected...
SHIT! HE'S DOING IT ALREADY!

 

by seanator
4-28-09
1789...
Okay amendment 2... the right to bear muskets...
No way man, we have to make it the right to bear arms!
Why is that?
So when assault weapons are invented a couple hundred years from now we can use them.
Oh yeah, my bad!
Dummy!

 

by seanator
4-28-09
One fine day...
A massive panic has come over America...
Teens, after listening to Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath, have found their fathers' guns and shot themselves dead, we have a reporter on the scene.
What do you have to say about this Mr. Grafenberger?
HOW COULD IRON MAIDEN DO SUCH A THING???

 

by seanator
4-30-09
One fine day...
Jawbreakers are so strange
You can either shove it in your entire mouth and be a slobbering idiot.
Or you can approach it like a pussy.

 

by seanator
5-01-09
One fine day...
Jeff, I called you because I've been getting reports of you jerking off durin- OH god are you doing it now?
No, no, no, I just have a bottle of soda in my pocket.
Then why are you still vigorously tugging at it?
I just like my soda extra fizzy.
...and I like the bottle penis shaped.

 

by seanator
5-07-09
Dude, I'm smart! Stop calling me an idiot!
You're an idiot, you probably don't even know any big words.
Constantinople and Timbuktu
Is that from a Dr. Seuss book?
Hop on Pop in fact.
nevermind.

 

by seanator
5-07-09
One fine day...
Guess what, I was fingering a minor and then my g-string broke. hehehehe
It's funny how even though thats the dumbest joke ever, I've heard it a thousand times.
Wha?
Dude, the guitar was invented in the 15TH CENTURY! There is no original guitar humor.
I don't play guitar.

 

by seanator
5-07-09
One fine day...
This weekend is mothers day, I certainly hope nobody forgot their mothers.
Also, mexican swine flu panic is sweeping the nation, as people flee from thier front lawns, and trust for 'the most interesting man in the world' is down 70%.
Major Announcement, anything else?
Oh, this saturday is the last day to get your raffle tickets in. Make it a great day, or not, the choice is YOURS!

 

by seanator
5-08-09
One fine day...
Hey man, what's the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen? I've seen a gay dolphin.
I once saw a man rescue another from drowning. He was unconscious for seven minutes, when he was finally revived, everyone was in tears.
It was an inspiration...
I've seen a gay dolphin's PENIS.

 

by seanator
5-09-09
One fine day...
Ann, I'm starting to get sick of this job.
Me too.
I came here thinking praising God would have its positives but I was completely wrong.
...Well there is one positive.
No there isn't, it tells you that in the job description.
nun?

 

by seanator
5-09-09
One fine day...
I just want to know the answer to one question.
Sure
Well... I'm not sure how to ask this but...
...is octomom the same as octopussy?

 

by seanator
5-12-09
One fine day...
*huff*
*puff*
Woah woah, what the hell are you guys doing?
We're running for colon cancer,
DUDE I FOUND IT! THERES ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF US TOO!

 

by seanator
5-13-09
Money saving hotline...
if you wanna save money and get your fast food even faster, just walk through the drivethrough!
Hide behind a car and time it so when the cashier is handing the food over you can swipe it and run.
Be careful, one time I went too soon and accidentally paid for the guy.

 

by seanator
5-13-09
Money saving hotline...
Saving money on stationary is easy! Just take all your pencils from golf courses...
all your pens from restaraunts...
and all your crayons from the childrens menus at mexican restaraunts.

 

by seanator
5-13-09
Money saving hotline...
Another great way to save money on pencils is buying a twelve pack and then sawing it in half.
Not only do you have 12 normal pencils, you now have 12 DOUBLE EDGED PENCILS!
If you make a mistake with a double edged pencil, simply flip it over and cross it out.

 

by seanator
5-13-09
Money Saving Hotline...
Do yourself a huge favor and save yourself some money on gas!When you fill up, simply put ONLY one gallon of gas in.
That way, your car is as light as possible and gets slightly better mileage...
Don't even think about the fact that you now will have to stop at every single gas station you drive by, you're saving yourself some CASH!

 

by seanator
5-13-09
One fine day...
So we needu to rook up some tings fo new ponogurafee comic...
Peopolu would probably rike Tenta! He's so coolu!
Us nihonjin rike books! Maybe show some book with the cock
Aruso we need jazz! I reary rove jazz! Rike a scat singer.
So you want tentacle, bukkake, and scat porn?

 

by seanator
5-14-09
One fine day
What's for dinner?
I was thinking Wendy's Frosties and buttsex.
Who's gonna do YOU in the butt?

 

by seanator
5-14-09
One fine day...
I must say, my dong is rather large.
Oh?
Yes, in fact, in order to jerk off I need a small child to run back and fourth with a hoola hoop around it
And after he does that he picks up tweezers and jerks me off.

 

by seanator
5-18-09
One fine day...
I was having sex when I heard the crash, so I just threw on whatever I could and got out here...
You are wearing a belt, neon green rubber gloves, and a semen soaked turkey. I would hate to see who you were with.
She's right here man, but don't call her a turkey you jerk.

 

by seanator
5-20-09
One fine day...
Hey man, you want to go watch some planet earth?
Sure dude!
Woah man, It's crazy how there's a species of bug that doesnt exist for 17 years and then all of a sudden they all hatch and die three days later.
David Attenborough JUST said that.

 

by seanator
5-20-09
One fine day...
I can see you finished your meal, can I get you anything else sir?
I'd like some of your muffin, and then your taco, and then your roast beef sandwich, and then your vagina
Sir that is totally inappropriate.. I'm going to have to ask you to stop sexually harassing me.
I'm sorry, I was way out of line, you are just so beautiful, and a great waitress to boot.
If I'm such a great waitress why would you leave me a small ass tip?!
Thats only because you declined the larger one.

 

by seanator
5-21-09
One fine day...
*UNGHH* GOOD BOY, GOOD BOY *UNNGH*
That doggy is on top of that lady.
*Woof woof* *pant* FUCK THAT PUSSY! *grrr*
This could only mean one thing...
DADDY DADDY! The dog can use the COMPUTER!
Fuck

 

by seanator
5-22-09
One fine day...
You ever think about quitting drinking?
Nope.
Really? You haven't even considered it?
Hey man! Quit fucking hasseling me, I'm perfectly fucktional when I drink.
*SOB* ILL PROTECT YOU FROM DADDY! I PROMISE I WILL NEXT TIME! *SOB*
*SNIFF* It's okay dear... mommy is strong.... mommy is... OH GOD! *SOB*

 

One fine day
*whistle* Hello I am with the Latter Day Saints and I would like to know if-AHHH I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE HAVING DINNER! PUT THAT DOWN! AHH! *whistle* Hello I am with the Latter Day Saints...
by seanator, 5-23-09

 

by seanator
5-27-09
One fine day...
I'm really fucking funny.
That's a pretty big claim man. Also, a pretty blowhardy thing to brag about.
I'm not bragging, It's a curse. One time, I did an impression of my grandma having a stroke and she died laughing.

 

by seanator
5-27-09
One fine day...
Hey dude! Long time no see! What are you up to now?
I'm a serial rapist.
Haha! what kind of 'cereal' are you raping? honeycomb?
No, just pops.
Haha I guess you really "gotta have your pops"
No, I mean I am raping your dad.

 

by seanator
5-28-09
One fine day...
Hey boy, so what do you think about gay marriage?
It's a slippery slope that would eventually lead to mandatory buttfucking classes in public schools.
Really? Well lets change the subject, how is your lady friend?
She's a total and complete woman, I don't even know why I ever started humping her.
You are one judgemental pooch.
Well I only see things in black and white.

 

by seanator
5-28-09
One fine day...
I've never used a phone sex line before... what are your turn-ons?
Honestly? I love it when a guy firmly puts my butt in his mouth and sucks. Hard.
I like what I'm hearing so far, what would be the first thing you would do to me?
I am going to give you a nasty case of oral fixation.
OH SWEET JESUS THAT IS BONER INDUCING! What do you look like?
I'm a slender white brunette and I am smoking hot.

 

by seanator
5-31-09
Early Ages
I hope nobody slips a roofie in my drink and impregnates me.
I hope that one chick over there drinks until she loves me.
Middle Ages
i am so sorry... all they had left was plain fritos...
This is not worth the par-at-best free food, yet I am here every time.
Dark Ages
All of my friends are dead.

 

by seanator
5-31-09
One fine day...
You are the worst vampire ever Count Von Rob. Vampires drink blood, not Fresca. And you can't even turn into a bat!
I can turn into a crab.
Yeah, a hermit crab.
The shell protects me from the sun.
It won't save you from garlic bread.

 

by seanator
6-01-09
One fine day...
I vant to drink your...
OH NO! a vampire! You've come to suck my blood!
No... I just vant a fresca.
Oh. That's in the fridge. Follow me.
Gosh, looks like all we have is cherry fresca.
Even Better!

 

by seanator
6-01-09
One fine day...
You need to take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror and face it, you are just a horrible excuse for a vampire!
Maybe I vill asshole...
Is this vhat my fucking reflection looks like?!?!
Kill me, Slap me in the face with a steak.
figures.

 

by seanator
6-02-09
One fine day...
Panic and chaos has taken over downtown LA as a monster ravages the city. We have reporter Mike Smart on the field. Mike?
It's just horrible here, Bob, It seems a monster has been OH MY GOD HERE HE IS!
AHHH AHHH AH-*GULP*
FOOLS! Don't they know they just need to have sex with it?

 

by seanator
6-02-09
One fine day...
Burke... I think it's time we start seeing other people...
NO! you can't do this to me! WHY?
You are clearly addicted to Japanese pornography. You are a pervert and I don't think we are a good fit.
No!
no?
EVERYTHING FITS EVENTUALLY!

 

by seanator
6-03-09
One fine day...
So Melvin, what have you been doing to conserve water? I only water the lawn at night now.
I've been recycling my pee and drinking it.
Oh one of those pee to water contraptions like the marines have?
Oh wow! That's a great idea!

 

by seanator
6-03-09
One fine day...
Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting snail
Interrupting snail who?
Dude that was like four hours ago, You blew it! again.

 

by seanator
6-03-09
One fine day...
Man, I haven't had a cunt in a long while. I really miss relaxing in my easy chair and eating a big sloppy cunt.
Feh, I don't really like eating cunt. The smell, the taste, the look. Doesn't really appeal to me.
That's really queer man, I've never heard of a straight-headed guy who didn't love himself some cunt.
Well every now and then its fine, but only if I get to slop on as much balsalmic vinaigrette as I want beforehand.
That's gross man, just take your cunt as its served to you, you don't need to add on any shit. I don't even mind a little hair on my cunt, I can brush it aside.
I guess I don't mind cunt after all, well, as long as the meat isn't all hanging out or anything.

 

by seanator
6-03-09
One fine day...
Hey bro, my boyfriend and all his friends keep making fun of my weight.
I don't know if this is just an excuse to tease me, or if I really need to shed some pounds.
I think you are reading too much into things, maybe you need to just take everything they all give you at face value, if you know what I'm saying.
So I need to start eating better and exercising?
No I mean you should let them all jizz on your face.

 

by seanator
6-03-09
One fine day...
Yo Jim, your last name is Lee, does that mean you're asian?
No, it doesn't mean I'm asian. Your last name is ache, does that mean you're a pain in the ass?
It's not pronounced Ache though, its Ah-kay.
So your name is Burke Ache?
Do you believe in destiny?

 

by seanator
6-04-09
One day...
Oh what's Sean's self portrait doing on the bed? Thats a terrible place for it! I'll just put it on the floor here.
HEY KIDS! What are you all doing playing out on the sidewalk? It's dangerous! Play in the street instead.

 

by seanator
6-07-09
One fine day...
So did you hear? Jeff has a new girlfriend, and boy is he whipped.
Like how?
Well, he definitely doesn't wear the pants in the relationship. Which is saying something. BECAUSE HE'S DATING A PAIR OF PANTS!
What?
Sean, a pair of pants wearing a pair of pants is at the door. She wants to know where Jeff is.

 

by seanator
6-09-09
One fine day...
So doc, give it to me straight. What's the diagnosis?
Well, you adhere to a strict ritual that involves going to the same place at the same time every week without fail...
So it's OCD? I knew it...
But that's not all, I'm afraid. You claim to hear voices that others can't and even accuse minority groups like homosexuals of being demons.
So I have paranoid schitzophrenia?
Worse, you have a particularly devout case of Christianity.

Showing page 6.

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