All comics by Boritom

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by Boritom
8-21-03
Okay, fine. Ya wanna chance to get even? Think of a number!
Okay...
Got it?
Yup.
4,372,925.2, right?
Shit!

 

by Boritom
8-22-03
Oh for crying out loud... What are you whining about now, Cthulhu?
Mephistophelese is a dirty rotten cheater!
So...?
I thought we looked down on that sort of thing!
Remember the parade we threw for Nixon?
Oh... right!

 

by Boritom
8-22-03
Cthulhu has asked that I tell you your evil cheating is not appreciated.
What a stinkin' wuss!
I know, but we're all in this together. We've gotta try to get along at least a little.
Fuckin' Liberal!

 

by Boritom
8-22-03
Okay, so i guess I'm supposed to apologize to you for being an asshole to you or something...
Is that the best you can do for an apology? You really are a total asshole!
What, praytell, do you specifically want from me by way of an apology, then?
Bow to my will, and worship me as your lord and master.
If I had a sense of humor, I'd be laughing my ass off right now!
*sigh*

 

by Boritom
8-25-03
You realize, of course, that it would take an infantessimal amount of effort on my part to smack you down so hard, your minions would reel from it for 100 millenia!
*sniff-sob*
Oh, what now?
I... I dont have any minions. *whimper*

 

by Boritom
8-26-03
...so, anyway, he starts bawling like a little baby to Satan about how I'm a "dirty cheater" and won't bow down to him.
Sheesh... what a pussy!
I tell ya, I'm so fucking sick of his shit, I'm about to rip his Tentacles off!
Fag!

 

by Boritom
8-27-03
Mephistopheles, My child, what brings you to seek my wisdom?
Well, see, cthulu's really getting on my nerves, Satan is totally like slacking, and Death can't even hear properly... He thinks I'm Gay!
Hmmm...
What a bunch of Asshats!
That's what I'm sayin'!

 

by Boritom
8-28-03
I'm so depressed... nobody down here cares. Mephistopholese is always cheating... Satan won't take me seriously...
...and that jerk lukket on stripcreator thinks I look like Admiral Akbar... it's enough to totally ruin my self-esteem.
Hahahaha!!! It's a trap! That is so funny!!!
*sob* Fuck you, dammit!!! Fuck you in the poop chute until your bones are bleached and buzzards peck out your eyes!!! *sob* I hate you... I hate you ALL!!!

 

by Boritom
8-28-03
Portia, go in awhile, And by and by thy bosom shall partake The secrets of my heart.
All my engagements I will construe to thee, All the charactery of my sad brows... Leave me with haste.
Perv!

 

by Boritom
8-29-03
So, Adam's "real" webcomic, Boritom is up and running, eh?
Yeah... it officially isn't supposed to start until Monday, but he had a couple he didn't want to post as part of the official "story."
That's cool. Have you seen the first strip yet?
Yes.
What did you think?
Maritza Campos and Jeff Darlington have nothing to worry about.

 

by Boritom
8-29-03
Take Me To Your Leader!
I cannot do your bidding for I am an angel of the Lord.
Take Me To Your Leader, Or I Will Zap You With My Molecular Dispersion Pistol!
Uhhh... Yeah... he's just a cross the street... The one that mispronounces "Nuclear!"

 

by Boritom
9-03-03
Cows are fucking stupid!
What?
I fucking hate cows, and how unbearably stupid they are. They deserve to be eaten!
Bigot!

 

by Boritom
9-03-03
...so it goes without saying that to act out of pure hatred is to act out of pure ignorance!
*sigh*
So much for joining MENSA!
Urrrrr... gghglllgg... uhhhggghh

 

by Boritom
9-08-03
You reprehensible pile of ass!
You're not even worth the effort of a mild cornholing!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU MORE!!!
Well, now that we have that resolved, wanna go grab a couple cold brewski's with me?
Sure... why not.

 

by Boritom
10-03-03
This just in... Adam has just announced that, despite the fact that he's doing his own comic, Boritom, full time now, he will continue to make comics here on stripcreator from time to time.
When approached for comment, Brad, creator of stripcreator, had this to say...
Shit... there really IS no God!
That's the news... Goodnight and DON'T call me Jimmy Fallon!

 

by Boritom
10-03-03
I wanna be a cowboy...
...and you can be my cow, girl!
You are SO not getting laid tonight!

 

by Boritom
10-03-03
Who's yer daddy?
Who's yer daddy?
Are you my daddy?
Fuck NO!

 

by Boritom
12-16-03
Allright, there, Buddy... Just what do you think...
Don't shoot me, officer! I'm unarmed!
Heh... he he?
That was a shitty joke!
It's been a long week!

 

by Boritom
12-16-03
This just in; Saddam Hussein has been captured by superior American forces.
Sources say he was living in a five-by-ten foot hole in the ground surrounded by cucumbers, and sleeping in his own wretched filth!
Add to that a pair of Winnie The Pooh slippers and a PlayStation 2 with no controllers, and you pretty much have what I was left with after the divorce!!

 

by Boritom
12-22-03
Arguing on the internet is a lot like the Special Olympics...
No matter whether you win or lose...
You're still a retard!

 

by Boritom
12-29-03
I'm gonna tear your throat out and eat you!
Fucking MOO!
Auuugh! Mad Cow!!! Mad Cow!!!
Works every time!

 

by Boritom
12-29-03
Greetings, Earth creature... I'm here to use my precision alien instruments to partially dissect you, and take your organs back to Krebnar for study!
Fucking MOO!
Look, wise-ass, if you're gonna peddle that "Mad Cow" bullshit on me, it would help to look at least mildly irritated!

 

by Boritom
12-29-03
I'm gonna tear your throat out and eat you alive!
Fucking MOO!
Auuuuuhhhhgghhh! Mad Cow!!!! Mad Cow!!!!
What an Asshat!

 

by Boritom
12-29-03
RAWRRR!!!! TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU NOW!
Fucking MOO!
Does anyone have a condom I could borrow?

 

by Boritom
1-07-04
This is my first comic of 2004
Hi there!
Yes, Hello!
So... How's things?
Yeah... How're ya doin'?
It's gonna be a long year!
God, this sucks!
Can I go now?

 

by Boritom
1-09-04
I decided to do another strip today on StripCreator.
Why?
Uhh... well...
I'm full of hatred and cruelty!
I had a feeling...

 

by Boritom
1-12-04
Hi, Sweetheart... I'm finally home from my tour of duty in Iraq.
I could care less... The war in Iraq was wrong, and as far as I'm concerned, you're a traitor against humanity!
You dumb bitch! Do you realize you're demonizing our armed forces just the way the hippies did back in the sixties...
Cause this is My United Staes of WhatTheFuck!
...when they decried the soldiers who were forced to go fight in Viet Nam?
Wow... The make-up sex after this one's gonna be fantastic!

 

by Boritom
1-12-04
Goodness... It's Fucktard the Flatulent!
Hi dcomposed! I understand you need your pudding can opened. I am here to help!
I... uhhh... how exactly?
It doubles as a can opener!
It... uhhh... oh, no! you do mean, "It," don't you. I don't think I'm hungry anymore.
*sigh* Yeah... I get that a lot.

 

by Boritom
1-12-04
What's the best part of being fucked by a 46 year old?
I don't know... what?
When your pelvis snaps, and he has to try to explain all the screaming to the authorities!
Every day, I become more sickened by you

 

by Boritom
1-12-04
This comic is not intended to be funny...
Fuckstick.
Fuckstick?
More importantly, it is not designed to make any sense at all...
Fuck... Stick!
Fuck Styx!
In short, I got nada, Cha-cha!
FKSTK!
...and that goes for Journey and REO Speedwagon too!

 

by Boritom
1-19-04
What do you get when you mate a Tiger with a hamster?
Beats me... What?
A dead hamster with a tiger's prick sticking out of it's head.
*snerk*

 

by Boritom
1-19-04
What's the difference between toilet paper and drapes?
I give up, what?
Dude, there ain't no way you're coming over to my house for dinner!

 

by Boritom
4-08-04
Okay, Bobo, ready for the mineralogical survey?
Oook-oook oop... Aahk ooop!
Why don't you grab a sample of that grayish dust over there?
OOOK OOOOOOK!
Why don't I help you off with that helmet...?
Why don't I pull you fucking nutsack over your head and suffocate you with it? Now get me a fucking banana, Asshat!

 

by Boritom
4-08-04
Here's one from Candy P. age 8, who writes, "Dear Pete, Why are you so depressed all the time?"
Geee... that's a good one... why am I so depressed....
Wait... there's a PS... "By the way, FUCK OFF YOU DICKLESS LOSER!"
He's just a bi-product of a heartless society... Too bad we're out of room for a "Nail-in-the-head" gag, but you've seen 'em all before.

 

by Boritom
4-23-04
*Haunting epiphany*
*Fatalistic conclusive statement*
Brought to you by Your AOL... which is about to diconnect you without warning or reason!
*Stock cliche punchline*

 

by Boritom
4-27-04
Uhhh...
Your Dad gave you another one of those Safe Sex lectures, huh...
Yeah

 

by Boritom
4-27-04
There is a house in New Orleans They call the Rising Sun...
I'm not going in that house!
I wasn't asking you to.
It's been the ruin of many a poor boy...
Oh... Still... if you did...
I won't.
Lord, I know, I am one...
Fine... I'll do it.
I'd rather you didn't, actually!

 

by Boritom
5-22-04
Hi pretty faerie thingy.
Small child, I am here to grant you three wishes!
*FTOOM!* Whoah! Thanks!
Uhhh... and your second wish...?
*ShthomnK*
I don't suppose the third one could be for lotsa money or a car, huh...

 

by Boritom
7-22-04
Oh my God! You killed Kenny! You Bastard!!!
Isn't it about time for that show to be cancelled or something?

 

by Boritom
12-23-04
Christmas
Kwanzaa
Hanukkah
Solstice
We're Polytheistic!
Which means we're getting a fuckload of presents!

 

by Boritom
12-23-04
I have a special message for you from my Asian cousins.
Really? What is it?
Tameguchi kitten ja ney o! Do digata ni kazana ho akeruzou
What does that mean?
God bless us, Everyone!
Oh, how sweet!

 

by Boritom
1-14-05
Hi
Hi
My wife is a fucking cunt!
I know!

 

by Boritom
3-25-05
Piss on me you dirty little whore!
Fuck you, you disgusting cuntbag!
Suck my balls dry you twat-sniffing shitrocket!
Eat mung, you festering corpse rapist!
Go shove your head up a rhinocerous's asshole and take a huge fucking breath!
Fuck you up the ass with a termite-covered dildo, 'till your infected bunghole drips pus and loose bile on your mothers cunt!

 

by Boritom
3-25-05
I'm a Shape-Shifter!
So I noticed

 

by Boritom
4-07-05
I once put a grilled cheese sandwich up my ass and left it there for three weeks...
I see... and what happened when the three weeks were up?
I had it puree'd and poured into Terri Schiavo's feeding tube, and then looked to see if she reacted at all to it.
And did she?
One of her nipples got hard!
Ooooh! Makes me all tingly in my colon just thinking about it!

 

by Boritom
4-07-05
I bought you a present!
nngg........
Did you hear me? I said, "I bought you a present."
ghhh...
Don't you want to see what I got you?
No... It'll be a box full of dead kittens and nun vomit, just like last fucking year!

 

by Boritom
4-07-05
Good afternoon, Ma'am. I'm here from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints of the Lost Temple of Kobol, and I bring you the gift of SALVATION!
1. I'm a Hellbeast, not a "Ma'am." 2. I don't care if your a three-breasted nymphomaniac from Pizza Hut, you're stull an ugly cunt...
And 3?
3. Would you mind rubbing some salve around my bunghole? That motherfucker TOBOR really messed me up but good.

 

by Boritom
4-07-05
So, I guess you're headed to Iraq as part of the peace-keeping forces, huh?
That's right.
Quick word of advice for ya...
What?
It's not a good idea to refer to the indigenous personell as, "A bunch of fucking sand niggers."
Gotcha!

 

by Boritom
4-08-05
I PUT MY PENIS IN A RABID DOG'S ASS AND THE LOCAL SHERRIFF'S OFFICE TOLD ME I WAS A BAD MAN AND TRIED TO SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!
***crickets***
THAT WAS FUNNY, GODDAMIT! LAUGH OR I'LL TEAR YOUR GONADS OFF!
I wish he'd get the fuck off the stage!

 

by Boritom
4-08-05
Thank you for calling student support, my name is Adam. May I have your user name or account number please?
I can't get my Outlook to work. Can you fix my Outlook?
*Sigh* Just to clarify, are you using Microsoft Outlook, or Outlook Express?
It's fucking Outlook, you shitlicker? Don't you speak English? What's an "Error: 441" mean?
To be continued...
When do you get this error?
When I'm at my computer! God damn you're a fucking retard! Now fix my Outlook or I'll rape you with a stick!

Showing page 8.

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