All comics by KajunFirefly

Profile

 

by KajunFirefly
10-17-02
Well, I'm back.
So I see, what's with this crappy blue background?
I bought an Apple Mac, this is the default setting.
Bah. I guess you thought up lots of crazy comic stories while you were away?
No, I spent my time seeking the path to enlightenment.
The lack of porn sent you crazy, didn't it?

 

by KajunFirefly
10-21-02
Hey Brad, uh, I was going to donate some more money to SC, but, I'm a bit skint just now, uh, sorry, I'll get money as soon as I can though.
It's ok, I've, uh, found another way to fund SC.com.
Tired of having your genitals rubbing against the inside of your underwear? Is applying cream a complete pain in the....
*cough* You need new "CLOWN_CUPS", that's right, for $10 a month you can have a clown cup your testicles all day, while you get on with life!
wait, what the fuck was that?
I've rented out the middle panel for advertising, cool huh?

 

by KajunFirefly
10-21-02
Wait a minute, surely you can't do that, I mean, banners would be enough, even pop-ups would be better.
Hey, I WANTED pop-ups, I specifically asked for them, but I got it explained to me, you see...
Tired of having your genitals rubbing against the inside of your underwear? Is applying cream a complete pain in the....
*cough* You need new "CLOWN_CUPS", that's right, for $10 a month you can have a clown cup your testicles all day, while you get on with life!
...and so, it all makes sense.

 

by KajunFirefly
10-21-02
Why does that clown ad keep appearing, didn't anyone else sign up for ads?
No, it's weird, any time anyone else sends me an ad, the clown guys outbid them.
Tired of having your genitals rubbing against the inside of your underwear? Is applying cream a complete pain in the....
*cough* You need new "CLOWN_CUPS", that's right, for $10 a month you can have a clown cup your testicles all day, while you get on with life!
It's so stupid, who would want to walk around with a clown's hand down their pants?
Andy's ordered 3 already.

 

by KajunFirefly
10-21-02
Hey, wait a minute, how about we keep trying to outbid the clowns until we get enough money to run SC without needing the ads?
Ha, yeah, we thought of that, Boorite submitted an ad, but they refused to outbid him, I still took his money though.
Lonely? Drunk? Full of self-loathing? Why not give me a phone? I'll show you the time of your life!
Hi, I'm loney, drunk and full of self-loathing!
I'm sure I've seen that ad before.
Ever been to a public toilet?

 

by KajunFirefly
10-21-02
How much longer are these fucking adverts going to be here? It's making it impossible to write a funny comic.
I don't know, they might be here for good, I could retire on the money the clown guys are sending.
What was that?
A Gap advert.

 

by KajunFirefly
10-21-02
Okay, listen clown boy, you need to stop these ads on SC.com, it's driving the regulars insane, if you don't stop, we'll, uh, we'll mock you in the forums.
No deal pal, we're getting more business now than ever, we've had to open up an office in Glasgow, Andy goes through 4 clowns a week!
Got a hunger you can't fill? Not feeling as stuffed as you'd like? You should try DONKEY MEAT, once you try it, you'll never go back.
Now, THAT was just insane, why would he want people to eat donkeys?
I don't think you understand what he's advertising.

 

by KajunFirefly
10-21-02
I, uh, "fixed" the problem with the clown ads.
Wait, what "problem"? They were working fine, what have you done?
Tired of having your genitals rubbing against the inside of your child victim? Is attaching duct tape a complete pain in the....
*cough* You need new "CLOWN_COPS" We'll kidnap children for you, because we're the police, and we can do WHATEVER THE FUCK WE WANT! HA HA HA!
See? I dressed up as a clown and re-shot the ad, their company will go bust and the money will stop!
They phoned me this morning, they said their orders have tripled.

 

by KajunFirefly
10-21-02
The clown guys phoned earlier, they've cancelled the ads, they're doing so well they can afford tv ads.
Wow, so what's happening to the middle panel?
-------------------*DING DONG*-------------------
It's back to normal again, see? There was a lack of interest from everyone else.
Hang on, I'll need to go get that.
Boorite? What are you doing here?
Isn't this the address for "Clown Cops"?

 

by KajunFirefly
10-23-02
Sir, have you noticed anything strange about that "Mr Snugglybear"?
The swelling around the anus?
No sir, he looks exactly like "Bear", Horse's best friend, do you think that could be a clue?
Perhaps, but I was thinking that the shitload of blood stained clothes at Jael's house was a more urgent concern.
Are you sure that isn't exactly what the murderer wants us to think?
Well, you can't catch lemons with a uterus.

 

by KajunFirefly
10-28-02
Tho I thays "Them rotor turbineths aint gonna generate gravitonths by themthelveths buthster!"
Ha ha
What the fuck are you talking about, Doc?

 

by KajunFirefly
10-28-02
Hey there, finally, you've got another brother around here.
What are you talking about? We're all friends here, well, except for that floating head guy.
Yeah, but you know what I mean, we're the only two "brothers" here, it's like a white supremecy group.
Huh? I'M not black!
Holy Shit!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-06-02
Rest In Peace, Bongo.

 

by KajunFirefly
11-18-02
Right, Yablonski, here's your first test, give me 5 press-ups.
Rocky 1, Rocky 2, Rocky 3, Rocky 4, Rocky 5, there!
Very good. Now, lets say you're talking to someone who produces what looks like something which could be considered dangerous, like weapons. What do you do?
Leave the room, then set fire to the building.
Do you give me guns now?

 

by KajunFirefly
11-24-02
Help me, Reformed Man!
Sorry, I don't do that any more!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-22-02
Yablonski had better hurry the fuck up, I've got better things to be doing, I wish he would just arrest Jael and get it over with.
Jael? But she didnae dae it, she was wi' me at the time, we wur shaggin' in the toilet.
Ha ha, I don't think so mate, you were obviously a little TOO drunk.
Naw, ah remember it well, she wis very limber, great figure, she must work oot...
Ach!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-26-02
You know, I should give up smoking, but I can't think of a good enough reason.
Well, how about the fact that you'll die from it?
Yeah, but I'll die anyway.
So then, why not just go and stab yourself in the eyes, since you'll die anyway?
Good point.
I have knives in my car.

 

by KajunFirefly
12-31-02
So.... this is your last comic of the year?
Aye.
Pretty lame, huh?
Aye.

 

by KajunFirefly
1-01-03
So this is your first comic of 2003?
Aye.
Pretty lame, huh?
Aye.

 

by KajunFirefly
1-26-03
I wanna marry Kyle when I grow up!
Man, Dave's little sister is such a pain in the ass, I wish she didn't hang around with us all the time.
Many years later:
What the hell is this loser looking at?
Woah, Dave's sister got really hot!
Oh, oh, oh, ooooh, oh yeah Kyle, YEAH, fuck me, pound my ass, yeah!
Ah, aarrrggghhh, yeah Dave, take it, take it!

 

by KajunFirefly
1-29-03
Hi, I'm here for the part of the Welsh farmer.
Um, like, I don't think you're really what we had in mind.
Is it because I'm black?
Um, yes.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-02-03
You know what Boo, I think we might have got the directions wrong, there's nobody here.
Yeah man, sorry about that, but it's Dan's God damn Canadian accent, I couldn't understand what he was saying.
Can you remember his exact words?
Well, it sounded like "Fuck off you drunken sack of shit, stop phoning me, stop phoning me!".
Are you sure that wasn't Lara's number you called? I have her on speed-dial.
I thought the court told you to stop that.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-02-03
Well, we at least know that DragonXero wont be there, isn't he hosting the MTV awards tonight?
That cunt always has an excuse, remember last year when he was recording that duet with Britney, for charity?
Crabby's looking after the Grandkids, Fuzzy's filming another food commercial, Kramer wont come without Andy, it nearly ended in divorce last time.
I told you I don't want to talk about the Dougan thing.
Maybe we do have the right place, just nobody could make it.
Does that mean we can start drinking?

 

by KajunFirefly
2-02-03
Man, this is the worst party ever, remember the 10th birthday, when Wirthling drove right through the front windows?
Yeah man, Wirthling always lightened up the parties, it's a shame really, I miss him.
Yeah, I guess it's Drexle's fault really, after the skeet shooting comic, everyone had the urge to shoot him in the face.
But I can't believe it was Obi, I mean who'd let that guy have a gun?
Yeah man, you'd think they'd learn after the Dougan incident.
I'll punch you in a minute.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-02-03
Remember the time all those newbies wanted to come, so we told them all a fake address for the party and organised a secret party through e-mails?
Ha ha, yeah, they must have ended up in an empty room wondering where everybody was.
Wanna go get hookers?
Sure.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-02-03
Right, we need to get to this party, Gabe said he'd strip tease. I want to see if that scar's healed yet.
I'm not falling for that again, remember Kaufman said he'd strip last year, and all he did was bring his laptop and make some comics?
Is Dougan still banned from all SC gatherings?
Yeah, but nobody wants to talk about that.
What about Obi, has he been released yet?
Nah, his appeal got denied, apparently he started throwing feces at the gaurds, that assmonkey.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-03-03
Back at the start of the millenium, StripCreator.com became the green stuff that grows on the cornerstone of the internet.
Through the beauty of Folger's Crystals, we have reconstructed some of the key "characters" that made SC so "popular".
This is Brad, he stole the idea of a comic creator from a mild mannered Canadian boy, then consumed his soul, and his identity.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-03-03
This is the Red Robot, who was nicknamed "Tobor". Many people were surpised to discover how amusing forced sodomy could be until they read comics about this loveable rapist.
Here we have another one of SC's most popular characters, once again, he was closely associated with unconsenting sex, mostly with young girls.
and here we have one of the Asian Girls, again, these girls were the focus of jokes about under-age prostition and, you guessed it, rape.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-03-03
The "Jesus" character gave users the opportunity to poke fun at religion and put Jesus in a variety of hilarious, although sometimes quite depressing, situations.
The Priest character managed to unify two of SC's most popular themes, religion, and unconsenting under-age sodomy.
Due to many complaints, the "phone" prop was deleted from the comic creator, it was a long and difficult court case which resulted in the death of many Jewish rabbis.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-03-03
We'll just ignore this exhibit.
This cowboy was part of a set, which was sadly stolen last Christmas. Both characters reached fame in the early days of StripCreator, although their role had nothing to do with cattle ranching.
I dunno who this guy is, he just keeps hanging around here.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-10-03
You have 5 private messages.
boorite: You Suck! brad: You Suck! Drexle: You Suck! Lara7: You Suck! crabby: You Suck!
"Dear Brad, this new private message thing ROCKS!"

 

by KajunFirefly
2-13-03
You stole my fucking stapler, didn't you?
Man, fuck you, I didn't touch your shit, this office only has one stapler, someone else probably took it.
I'm sick of this shit man, why can't my stuff just stay on MY desk?
I don't know, leave me alone.
Meanwhile, in his secret cloud lair:
Damn staplers, think they rule the stationary world, I shall have my vengeance!

 

by KajunFirefly
2-13-03
Fucktard! Why must the stapler always be your first choice when attaching multiple pieces of paper? Paper clips are far superior, they're non-destructive and come in a variety of colours.
Uh....
Plus, you can bend and twist paper-clips and make funky little scultures and shit, you can't do that with staples man, they just get under your skin.
I guess....
So, what do you say, you wanna over-throw the evil Stapler Lord and bring an end to his reign of terror?
Seriously dude, I just want know who stole my stationary box.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-13-03
Spankling, Lord of all things pierced:
Ah, Penclor! Together we have taken over the stationery world.
Yes, Spankling, truly, we rock!
Not. So. Fast.
Clippy! I thought we settled this in the fiery pits of Sharpener Mountain.
Think again, your stapling antics end here, prepare to die!
Your powers are weak, clippy, join us, or die.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-13-03
Yeah, so we'll just film you guys there, and get the special effects guys to put all the fantastic fighting in later.
*zzzzzwing*
*zzhhhooooop*
pyooow pyow pyooow
nrrekk!
Zoiks!
Yabbla!

 

by KajunFirefly
2-13-03
VICTORY!
Now, Penclor, together we can bring peace and balance back to the world of stationery.
Yes, I was blind with power before, but now nothing can stand in our way, what could possibly defeat pencils and paper attachments?
Mwa ha ha ha ha ha, AH-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

 

by KajunFirefly
2-13-03
Man, I know you were kind of pissed about your stapler going missing, but did you need to destroy every stapler in the office?
It was nothing to do with me man, someone's covered my desk in paper-clips too.
Yeah, uh, I saw you talking to one of them the other day, seriously, I think you need some time off.
No, that guy was just trying to get me to join him in a quest to defeat the evil Staple Lord who lives on the moon.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-22-03
First, the convicted felon shall have their spirits broken by the illicit, candy-flavoured singing of a warbling Canadian...
the guilty party shall be dogged by the singing until their brains run out of their ears...
...or until someone else smacks the singer up-side the head with a shovel.
You're a sick sick woman, Mrs Choppingblock, hiring Celine Dion is going too far.

 

by KajunFirefly
2-26-03
Hugh Grant is a sausage.
In what sense?
In every sense.
In the sense of a breakfast comestible?
Yes.
I see.

 

by KajunFirefly
3-02-03
Hey, it's the sun, and it makes me smile.
all around.
all around.
Hey now, it's the sun, and it makes me smile.
all around.
all around.

 

by KajunFirefly
3-14-03
I haven't done the dishes in years.

 

by KajunFirefly
3-16-03
Community Chest
It appears to be some kind of bribe, I wasn't aware our judicial system was so slack.
Jail
I still think this is a bit harsh, just because I left an old shoe in the wrong place.
The Waterworks

 

by KajunFirefly
3-29-03
I've done it, I'VE DONE IT, THE ULTIMATE WEAPON IS COMPLETE!!!
Remind me why we hired you again?
I stopped a bomb with my face.

 

by KajunFirefly
4-15-03
Queued at Andy's Maw's house, miss a turn.
Win 2nd prize in a Skeet Shooting contest, collect $250
Dance on fuck's grave, collect "get away with rape free" card.
(DANCING!!)

 

by KajunFirefly
4-15-03
Lose fight to little girl, go back 3 spaces.
Subjected to tentacle-rape, pay $100 in blackmail charges to amatuer porn director
Apocalypse, game over.
MOH!
MOH!

 

by KajunFirefly
4-25-03
Off the coast of France:
It's good to get away from it all for once, I feel like I haven't a care in the world.
Yes, I love to just sail away every now and then, leaving all my troubles far away.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Look, out the window, I can't believe it, it's the amazing Japanese yellow screaming fish!
Isn't it a little far from home?

 

by KajunFirefly
4-29-03
One day at the bar...
So then I says, "withdrawal method?" and that's the last time she spoke to me.
Ha, ha!
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by KajunFirefly
5-06-03
One drunken night earlier:
C'mon darlin', ah don't need t' wear protection, all this drinkin' has probably made me sterile anyway.
I guess so.
NOT SO FAST!
Pope John-Paul II?
The very same!

 

by KajunFirefly
5-06-03
No offence, but you're kinda killing the mood.
The "mood"? Are you insane child? You were about to have unprotected sex with that jobless layabout, and for what? A few seconds of pleasure, if you're lucky.
But I'm a free spirit, I'm not tied down by the old-fashioned beliefs of my parents. I live life to the full!
Sleeping with this loser isn't "living life to the full", it's just getting nobbed by A fool.
Are you allowed to say "nobbed"?
Yes, Jesus said it all the time.

 

by KajunFirefly
5-06-03
So, what's it going to take for you to get the fuck out of my house?
I'm not going anywhere until you listen to the church, and it's beliefs, you can't just turn up for the free wine and wafers.
I'm going to have sex outside of wedlock wether the church likes it or not.
At least use some method of contraception then, please?
"Withdrawal method"?
It's the only way I can get the Pope to fuck off!

Showing page 9.

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