All comics by MikeyG

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by MikeyG
4-28-04
Darn! Temporary blindness again! And just when I needed to take a humongous leak!
Whew! Thought I'd never find the bathroom! Oh...oh, yeah...that's better...ahhhhh....
*click*
Duhhh...I think I made pee-pee on myself.
Who turned off the lights and told the retarded kid he's blind again?

 

by MikeyG
4-28-04
Darn! Temporary blindness again! And just when I needed to take a humongous leak!
Whew! Thought I'd never find the bathroom! Oh...oh, yeah...that's better...ahhhhh....
What the hell?
You just pissed a hole in the top of the plane, Superman!

 

by MikeyG
4-28-04
Damn, I'm stoned and horny!
Awwww yeah! A little white bitch!
Marijuana. It makes black people rape children.
I'm black.
AUUUGGGGHHH!!

 

by MikeyG
4-28-04
Hey, Frenchies! Want to hear about a new product?
We've got a brand product from the dark recesses of French cuisine.
I'm Trent Reznor, here with Danny Lohner to speak to your soul of the pain of not having this new product.
All you French people and Francophiles harken to our message. We wearliy bring you this achievement from the bottoms of our black souls.
Perfect for Escargot, taste the deep inner solace that is Nine Inch Snailsâ„¢.
You and God Money can now feed, as well as go dancing on, the backs of the bruised.

 

by MikeyG
4-28-04
HEE-HAW!!! ME GET CHAINSAW AND KILL YOU WITH IT!!!
VROOM-VROOM!!! ME RACE CAR!!! BEEP-BEEP!!!
Marijuana. It makes pure crap really, really funny.
GRRRR!!! ME TOO CUTE TO KILL!!! HONK, HONK!!! SHUT UP!!!
Ha ha ha HA HA HA HA!!!! That's hysterical! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

 

by MikeyG
4-29-04
RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!!
Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here?
TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST?
I don't believe I have.

 

by MikeyG
4-29-04
Hi, I'm Bloigan. I'm gay and have Tourette's Syndrome.
And I'm a motherfuckin' kangaroo with a gun.
FUCK SHIT PISS NIGGER NIGGER COCK FUCKING WALLABY ASSHOLE!
....
I'm dead, aren't I?
Do you even have to ask?

 

by MikeyG
4-29-04
I'm Snizz! I work for the government and I'm a lazy fucker!
Get back to work, you cur!
But boss, I just started my lunch break!
This is the new government, and the Patriot Act says I can do whatever I want to you if I suspect you of terrorism.
*BLAMMO!*
But, I'm no...AAUUGGHH!!!
Take that, Amullah Jamar Al-Jazeer Jaffar!

 

by MikeyG
5-03-04
Hey, man! Why do you have a 'Just Say No' sign? Aren't you a pot-smoking hippie?
Yeah, man, but marijuana isn't really a drug, man.
Well, then maybe you should smoke this bowl with me.
Uh, yeah, man, why not? I'll give it a puff or twelve.
Marijuana. It makes crack taste like candy.
Say, now that you're high, I should tell you that there was some crack in there.
Hey, man, I thought it tasted different. Different, but deeeee-licious! I'm a crackhead now!

 

by MikeyG
5-04-04
Hey y'all. Yo me llamo Hennifer Lopez. I am coming to you from the sunny coast of Cancu...I mean the Bronx.
See, My Love Don't Cost a Thing, but this will.
I bring you the new Jennifer LoPezâ„¢ Dispenser. Every time a Pezâ„¢ pops out, so does a crappy song.

 

by MikeyG
5-04-04
Welcome back to Channel 3 News...
...I'm Joe Crow Sloemoe. Korn, Pete Yorn, Rip Torn, and Michael Dorn have all sworn to make porn.
Michael Caine, Lois Lane, a Great Dane, and Tarzan & Jane are all in pain about the rain in Spain.
Phylis Diller, Steve Miller, a serial killer, and Ben Stiller have decided to become shillers for weed killer. Goodnight.

 

by MikeyG
5-05-04
Hey man, you got a cigarette?
Naw, man. Don't I know you?
Maybe. I'm MikeyG.
It's me, Willie Trice, from High School.
Trice! It is so genuinely pleasurable to see you! Mayhap we can shimmy down to the soda fountain and wax nostalgic!
You're related to KennyG, aren't you.

 

by MikeyG
5-05-04
Robert E. Lee, Ali G, Marie Curie, Sandra Dee, Joe C, and Tommy Lee agreed today, in Napanee, to pay the attorney's fee levied on them by Booker T.
Jay Mohr, Dinah Shore, a Matador, Al Gore, Queen Noor, and a whore all swore they are hardcore at the door of a grocery store.
Nelly, R. Kelly, someone smelly, Mary Shelley, and Valeri Bertinelli were in a deli watching the telly while eating Jelly Bellys.

 

by MikeyG
5-06-04
Today, a horny young colonel, took to reliously writing his journal. In this he wrote porn, and garnered much scorn, when he began having emissions nocturnal.
On the scene with us now is some geezer, who looks quite in need of a tweezer. Gramps, please trim those hairs, to be only fair, from the crusty old rim of your sneezer.
Thank you, Maureen, you cunt. And although I'd rather look at your front, if you'd just turn around, and maybe bend down, I'd give that ass a good punt.

 

by MikeyG
5-06-04
RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!!
Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here?
TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST?
I don't believe I have.
TOBOR REALLY JUST WANT TO BE HELD.
Awww what the hell, come to bed. I hear 'spooning' is popular these days.

 

by MikeyG
5-07-04
Mom, did you and Dad go out for a long time before you got married and had me?
Yes, we did.
What was your first date with him like?
It was...well, let's just say it was interesting...
*Start Flashback*
o/* Rob the cradle of loooove. Rob the cradle of loooove. Yes, the cradle of love, don't rob easy it's true. o/*

 

by MikeyG
5-12-04
Mom, did you and Dad go out for a long time before you got married and had me?
Yes, we did.
What was your first date with him like?
It was...well, let's just say it was interesting...
*Start Flashback*
Hey, are you like, my girlfriend or something?
If you have any dope I'll be your Liberace if you want me to.

 

by MikeyG
5-12-04
Mom, did you and Dad go out for a long time before you got married and had me?
Yes, we did.
What was your first date with him like?
It was...well, let's just say it was interesting...
*Start Flashback*
Mmm...here, boy! Mommy's got the peanut butter on her 'gopher hole'!
Woof?

 

by MikeyG
5-12-04
Man, somebody upset me today.
How so?
They told me I had a lovely, shapely pink ass.
Well, it's true.
Wait a minute... that was YOU!?
Yup, and I'm pretty sexy as well.

 

by MikeyG
5-14-04
Man, my chauffer is really pissing me off.
Blah blah blah blah, blah blah hoochie mama.
I wonder in this situation, What Would Jayson Williams Do?â„¢
Blah blah blee blee bloo bloo blabbity blabbers
BLAM!
Oops!

 

by MikeyG
5-16-04
Here I am at the final boss! At last!
Blah Blah Blah you will never know your true past!
20 hours later...
Have at thee!
Aaaauuuggghhh! I'm really your son from the future!
You now have the Ultra Extreme Wand of Ultimate Ultimateness that hits everything for 9999 points.
Wait a second...I had to play this game for 200 hours with a PLUNGER and now I get the cool weapon AFTER I've won?

 

by MikeyG
5-16-04
Tonight! Oliver Stone, Sylvester Stallone, David Cone, a drone, and Joey Ramone do not condone the leaving of tone-deaf clones alone in a known zone.
Mickael Keaton, a cheatin' student of Seton, a cretin, and Wil Wheaton took a beatin' while out trick or treatin'.
Dave Atell, Catherine Bell, Nancy O'Dell, Norman Fell, and Dave Chappelle all fell pell-mell into the bowels of hell.

 

by MikeyG
5-17-04
M-Mikey?
W-what?
How in the fuck are you only 3 stars? (Ewwwww)
Because everyone gave me a star for every leg I have.
Troll.
Oooh! Word association! Um...goblin?

 

by MikeyG
5-17-04
hey, im not that bad (<3 aus)
No, you're rotten. Heh heh.
To comedy what the custard pie is to um, comedy(sm
Great, because I'd hate to be the custard pie of pies.
Thinks my prolix is prose -Chi
I think you're prone to profess your propensity for pronouns, too.

 

by MikeyG
5-17-04
your older stuff was better
I happen to think I've sucked quite consistently from the get-go, buddy.
Homeboy you probably eat spaghetti with a spoon-dc
What's wrong with liking Spaghetti-Os?
MiikiiGee
II thiink thaat's mee.

 

by MikeyG
5-17-04
I don't have a problem with you. -- Crabby
He wants me. It's all right there in the letters.
MUST HAVE MORE RHYMING NEWS!!!!!!!!! -AtheistDiary
Thanks my man, This Just In: Reading my comics is a sin.
Psst! They still aren't going to like you.
That's it. I'm putting Windows on you.

 

by MikeyG
5-18-04
Hey, I noticed you haven't made a Hitler's Ass comic. How have YOU passed up a joke about the ass of a dead demagogue?
I want to, but I can't think of anything.
Why don't you make a joke about putting something in Hitler's Ass?
Yeah, but what kind of joke can I put in Hitler's Ass?
How about your penis?

 

by MikeyG
5-18-04
Uh oh, plane's going down. Luckily, I have this parachute. Think I'll step out.
Oh no, it didn't open. I'm doomed! Wait, what's that below me? I'm saved!
....and that's how I wound up having sex with Julia Roberts.
Man, you always manage to fall into their laps!

 

by MikeyG
5-19-04
Dude, I hear you're gay.
What? Where'd you get that idea from?
I heard you meet some gay guy named Bryan here in the forest after dark for gay sex.
What? I don't even know anyone named Bryan!
Later...
Psssst! Hey!
Bryan? Is that you?

 

by MikeyG
5-19-04
I am really tired of hearing all the back- and double-talk from the Bush Administration.
George W. and his cronies have totally run roughshod over the Bill of Rights, you know.
GWB is one evil mother.
What's so evil about the George Washington Bridge? Ha ha!
It leads to New Jersey.

 

by MikeyG
5-19-04
¡Usted bastardo!

 

by MikeyG
5-20-04
Me dump ord boyflend, get noo wun.
Me arso wiff yoo boyflend. Me get lid of him as werr.
Maybe we boff get same noo boyflend.
Noo boyflend haff grasses and haff rong pants, light?.
You BASTARD.

 

by MikeyG
5-20-04
Uh oh, plane's going down. Luckily, I have this parachute. Think I'll step out.
Oh no, it didn't open. I'm doomed! Wait, what's that below me? I'm saved!
Shit, I fell out of the comic.

 

by MikeyG
5-21-04
#1
...and so I pelted his ass with my stick!
I hate stubborn donkeys.
#2
...so I had to ram my cock through his back door.
Man, it's such a pain when those damn roosters don't come inside.
#3
...and she rode my pony straight into O-Town.
So you fucked the shit out of that bitch, huh?

 

by MikeyG
5-25-04
Italian
Gimme some extree maree-naree sauce on them spagetti-os, pardner!
Chinese
Do you serve dog?
Mexican
Give-o me-o a damn-o beer-o, Pedro.

 

by MikeyG
5-25-04
German
Hey! Where's my saur, KRAUT? HA HA HA HA HA OMGLOL!!@!11
Albanian
How much different can you fuckers BE in upstate New York?
Polish
May I please order the rib-eye steak?

 

by MikeyG
5-26-04
Ouch, I think she's actually hurt.
Ooh, yes Bob, that looked like a nasty fall.
Anyway, onto a different matter. If we believe the prophets of disaster our world could soon end due to global warming or a meteor strike.
And if this topic turns out to be true they may be right. We now go live to our reporter who's on the scene of a very interesting new find.
Yes, Channel Juan News has recently discovered that our own news anchor, Mark Stark, is so incredibly bloody stupid that the world will take its own life in sympathy!
You're such an asshole, Phil.

 

by MikeyG
5-26-04
Ouch, I think she's actually hurt.
Ooh, yes Bob, that looked like a nasty fall.
Anyway, onto a different matter. If we believe the prophets of disaster our world could soon end due to global warming or a meteor strike.
And if this topic turns out to be true they may be right. We now go live to our reporter who's on the scene of a very interesting new find.
Thank you, Gertrude, I...just...realized I can't breathe.

 

by MikeyG
5-26-04
Ouch, I think she's actually hurt.
Ooh, yes Bob, that looked like a nasty fall.
Anyway, onto a different matter. If we believe the prophets of disaster our world could soon end due to global warming or a meteor strike.
And if this topic turns out to be true they may be right. We now go live to our reporter who's on the scene of a very interesting new find.
Thanks, you belligerent cunt. We've finally located Waldo, who is now living as a Data Entry Clerk in Hoboken. One question, though, where's the famous shirt?
I had to ditch it after Target sued me.

 

by MikeyG
5-27-04
Hey there MikeyG. What's up?
Nothing, I was just talking about gay buttsex.
I'm not a fan of stuff up my ass.
Well, do you mind putting things in other people's asses?
Let me put it this way: I put the 'rear' in 'choadwarrior'.

 

by MikeyG
5-27-04
Hey there, wanna see my boobs?
What? Awfully forward, aren't you?
Listen, asshole, do you want to see my fucking boobs or not??!!??
Can't I at least think about it?
My boobs are too good for the likes of you anyway, fuckface.
You really put the 'tit' in attitude, don't you.

 

by MikeyG
6-01-04
I've just been invited to a stag party for an old college mate.
Cool!
It's so strange though, that he's marrying that girl.
Why?
Last time I heard, she was recently separated.
I hope he puts her back together before the wedding.

 

by MikeyG
6-01-04
Ho' ho' ho', bitches!
"On, Gobbler! On, Gummer!"
"On, Hummer! On, Trakmark!"

 

by MikeyG
6-01-04
"On, Crackhead! On, Crotchrot!"
"On, Blotchtwat! On, Cockshark!"
Guided by Slutstain the Sloppy Surper!

 

by MikeyG
6-02-04
Did you hear they're re-releasing Joel Schumacher's Batman opus on DVD?
Yeah, Batman 4Ever will be released in a Special Edition format with the original working title.
It's going to be called "Horrible Waste of Millions".

 

by MikeyG
6-02-04
Coming, Summer of 2004...
Roooooose! Rose!
Oh Jack, I don't want to die! I love you! Quick, sketch my tits!
James Cameron epic "Titanic", rereleased, remastered, and retitled...
Rose! Rooooose! ROSE!
Something's wrong with the ship!
..."Leo DiCaprio and some Other Motherfuckers Drowning Expensively"
Rose! ROOOOSE! *glug glug*
Don't leave me, Jack!

 

by MikeyG
6-03-04

 

by MikeyG
6-03-04

 

by MikeyG
6-04-04
Yo yo yo! I need some food, I'm a hungry M.C.!
Hit me off wit dat MizzickeyD's!
Hash browns, french fries, choc'lit shake wit mawshmallow...
They'll fry anythang y'all want in that sweet beef tallow!
Excuse me, a bitch is on mah dick and rubbin' it...
So peace y'all, from MickeyD's....I'm lubba-lubba-lovin' it.

 

by MikeyG
6-07-04
What do you call a sanitary napkin marketed for a women's music festival?
Lilith Pads.

Showing page 9.

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