All comics by possums

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by possums
5-10-04
Wow... Possums has made 400 comics. We Iraqis must reflect on this subject.
I shall now meditate.

 

by possums
5-10-04
Wow... Possums has made 400 comics. We Iraqis must reflect on this subject.
I shall now meditate.

 

by possums
5-11-04
Singing telegram for Ms. Hobagger!
Ah, thanks. Sing away.
o/ Weeeellll.... your ex-husband is suing you! Your mother is very gravely ill! And finally, most of all, you haven't payed your BILLLLSSS!!!! o/
o/ I'm here to reposess your house. o/

 

by possums
5-11-04
So this guy comes up to me in heaven and he's all, "Oh, Jesus, I've had such a terrible life." And so I ask him to tell me his story.
Hes says that he lost his son soon after he was born and that he never really met him. And I tell him that I never met my father. And I'm all... "Father?"
And he says, "Pinocchio?"

 

by possums
5-11-04
I can't stand this fucker. Pretty soon I'm gonna blow a fucking hole in his head.
If I have to listen to another word this cunthead says, I'm gonna kill myself.
How's the missus?
How's the missus?
AAAGH!!!
AAAGHGH!!!

 

by possums
5-11-04
Welcome to WZKB CD Superstore, how may I help you?
What does WZKB stand for?
Warsaw Zionist Killer Bunnies.
Kay, thanks.

 

by possums
5-12-04
Mom, did you and Dad go out for a long time before you got married and had me?
Yes, we did.
What was your first date with him like?
It was...well, let's just say it was interesting...
Would you say that he's malignant?
Highly.

 

by possums
5-12-04
INTRODUCING! The all new AssReamer 2000, when you get in those sticky situations!
Any constipated person will *LOVE* the AssReamer 2000! Just ask this guy here!
Since using the AssReamer 2000, I've been able to crap as long as I want. Although it's been quite hard to please my lover recently...
He's *SO* loose!
It's asstacular!
Hmm... death by AssReamer... would it work?

 

by possums
5-14-04
Well, clown, are you ready for your punishment?
Oui, je suis.
Alright then, I have someone for you to meet.
SACRE BLEU!!!
redy to get naled, asain gril?!

 

by possums
5-15-04
Hey... Leroy... I kinda sold our souls for a Delectible Hostess Twinkieâ„¢.
You WHAT?!!
I mean, even though I can resist a tasty fun time treat like a Hostess Twinkieâ„¢, did you really have to sell our souls for it?!?!
I bring you tidings, and strife!
You BASTARD!

 

by possums
5-15-04
o/ B is for bundt cake that I will never eat! A is for an asshole that I will surely beat! o/
o/ S is for sandwich, of the nuckle variety! T is for tuberculosis in my mother's knee! o/
o/ A is for antelopes a-grazing at the zoo! R is for really stinky smell of monkey poo! o/
o/ And D is for dystopian disasterpieces of Delawaaaaare.... o/
o/ You BASTARD. o/

 

by possums
5-15-04
I am Knipswitch Arrkoonsbalaak-Kay-Kay-Wop.
Gedsuntheit.

 

by possums
5-16-04
On the last day of someone's life...
I always liked dad better.
On the last day of virginity...
Latex? No, I prefer lambskin.
On the last day of work... (after being fired)
What severance package?

 

by possums
5-16-04
SOOO, MR. VEGAN.... YOU IS FAN OF SAID BACON?

 

by possums
5-17-04
Uh oh, plane's going down. Luckily, I have this parachute. Think I'll step out.
Oh no, it didn't open. I'm doomed! Wait, what's that below me? I'm saved!
*BDUMCSHHHH!*
now that I hav saved yoo from teh plaine, I get too NALE you!!!
Aww, fuck.

 

by possums
5-18-04
GOOD EVENING BROTHERS AND SISTERS. IT IS I, THE CLARIVOYANT SNOOK. PLEASE BASK IN MY TASTY WARMTH.
THE MEANING OF LIFE? HAHAHAHAHA. YOU SILLY PARISIAN MAGGOTS. I AM THE MEANING OF LIFE.
AHHH! IT'S TONY!!
WEEP WEEP WEEP WEEP

 

by possums
5-18-04
.....
......
* Latin.
ESTWAN INTELI, BIRAVEY, HEMENTIS, SEPHIROTH.*

 

by possums
5-19-04
Asian
Your food sucky sucky, even if it IS only for fie dolla! Ha ha!
Mexican
Didn't I see you at McDonald's before?
Swedish
First you take-a da biscuit... den you take-a da bang bang!

 

by possums
5-19-04
Russian
Oh, I'll have the jumbo meal. There's more of it to love!
Italian
One dollar?! For a salad?! That's an offer I *CAN'T* refuse!
I feel like half a fag already!
French
Hey! Garcon!
Garcon means "boy," asshole.

 

by possums
5-20-04
At school...
What the fuck do you mean you gave him head?!
At work (DVD store)...
I'm telling you, Dawn, they don't have Butt Pirates 87!
Home...
I made pasta, but it's got some kind of weird shit all over it.

 

by possums
5-20-04
I have all these used DVD's for you... want them?
Whattaya got?
Uh... Suspiria, Opera, some other stuff...
Why so much Dario Argento?
I LIKE VIOLENCE, THAT'S WHY!!!
ACK!!!

 

by possums
5-20-04
Come on, Butch, it's time for French lessons. Assez-vous!
Uh, I'm a little busy right now, monshur.
That's monsieur.
Well you know what?
*Die, please!
ACK!
Meurs, sil vous plait!*

 

by possums
5-20-04
Come on, Bronson, it's time for French lessons. Assez-vous!
Uh, I'm a little busy right now, monshur.
That's monsieur.
Well you know what?
*Die, please!
ACK!!
Meurs, sil vous plait!*

 

by possums
5-20-04
You know, Johnson, I've decided that I'm not going to hack you to death today.
Why the change of heart?
Well...
ACK!!!
I GOT THIS NEW FLAMETHROWER TODAY!!!

 

by possums
5-20-04
Hey, Bronson...
What's that? I can't hear you!
I said...
Wait! I have an idea!
AAAACK!!!!
Ah, NOW I can hear you!

 

by possums
5-20-04
Bronson, we haven't made love in a long time.
Well, you have issues with my fetish.
What fetish?
NOT AGAIN!!!!
MY VIOLENCE FETISH!!!

 

by possums
5-20-04
Bronson, we haven't made love in a long time.
Well, you have issues with my fetish.
What fetish?
NOT AGAIN!!!!
MY VIOLENCE FETISH!!!

 

by possums
5-21-04
HAHA! NOW IT'S TIME TO-
Now wait just one minute! I don't want to die today!
...and how do you expect possums to create a punchline?
Good point. Hack away.

 

by possums
5-21-04
Hey! Johnson! I've got a new project!
Cool! What'd ya do?
Well, I needed a guinea pig...
He didn't put up much of a fight...
*sigh*.... another sad, sad day for Nikos Kazantzakis...

 

by possums
5-21-04
Johnson! It's our three year anniversary today!
Omigosh! Your right!
I forgot to get you something.
I GOT YOU THIS NEW KNIFE!!!
ACK!!!!

 

by possums
5-21-04
Alms for a future leper?
A future leper?
THAT'S YOU!!!
WELEASE ME!!!!

 

by possums
5-21-04
What ya reading, Bronson?
The Grapes of Wrath.
Is that a good book?
I'm not so hot about the Grapes part....
ACK!!!!
BUT I SURE DO LIKE THE WRATH!!!

 

by possums
5-22-04
Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck...
Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck...
GOOSE!!!
You BASTARD.

 

by possums
5-24-04
Where's Carl?
Carl?
You know, the big, fat, drunk dude. Where is he?
Oh, him?
Elsewhere...
...
WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

 

by possums
5-24-04
Uh, Butch? There's an arm in the kitchen.
Who you callin' an arm?
Holy crap! Who are you!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!
ACK!!! IT'S MAY!!!

 

by possums
5-24-04
helo asain girl. do you hav a dollra?
yes i thinck so
that's fun
perhaps
I wondur wer mi shoos went
on yor eers

 

by possums
5-24-04
I witch we wer on the moon
I as wel
telefone
helo?
ah yey we ar on the moon
thats nice, charly

 

by possums
5-26-04
What's going on here?
My wife, Geraldine Kikekiller, and I, Johnson Niggerslayer, are getting married!
May I say a word to the bride?
Sure.
You put the aryan in marryin'!

 

by possums
5-26-04
Hi the-
Vote Boosh in 2004, mon!
What are you, a Jamaican conservative?
Ya, mon. You betta balieve it!
You put the mon in war monger!

 

by possums
5-26-04
Stripcreatorian
This corn has a hole in it!
Dutch
I'll have the Faith an' Bigora, with a side of Oo-dee-doo!
Greek
I piss on your small child!

 

by possums
5-27-04
First you take-a da biscuit...
den you take-a da bang bang!
A donut!
You put the dish in Swedish! Bork, bork, bork!

 

by possums
5-27-04
Two of hearts, two hearts that feel the same, ai ai...
You put the ace in bass!

 

by possums
5-27-04
Eternal Sunsh... Yadda Yadda
This makes "You Got Served" look like "Taxi Driver."
I can't believe Clementine erased her memory... boo hoo... oscar, oscar...
Apocalypse Now
Haha!
The horror... the horror....
2001
o/ Daisy, Daisy, beautiful flower of mine... o/

 

by possums
5-27-04
Ouch, I think she's actually hurt.
Ooh, yes Bob, that looked like a nasty fall.
Anyway, onto a different matter. If we believe the prophets of disaster our world could soon end due to global warming or a meteor strike.
And if this topic turns out to be true they may be right. We now go live to our reporter who's on the scene of a very interesting new find.
Let me get this straight... YOU'RE the prophet of disaster?
corect

 

by possums
5-27-04
Ouch, I think she's actually hurt.
Ooh, yes Bob, that looked like a nasty fall.
Anyway, onto a different matter. If we believe the prophets of disaster our world could soon end due to global warming or a meteor strike.
And if this topic turns out to be true they may be right. We now go live to our reporter who's on the scene of a very interesting new find.
Thanks, Sheila. I'm here with Bob K. Chinkstetskowiecz, one of the prophets of disaster. He has some interesting news for us.
The apocalypse will be brought on by Evangelists who shoot lasers out of their eyebrows. Beware of your television set.

 

by possums
5-27-04
Ouch, I think she's actually hurt.
Ooh, yes Bob, that looked like a nasty fall.
Anyway, onto a different matter. If we believe the prophets of disaster our world could soon end due to global warming or a meteor strike.
And if this topic turns out to be true they may be right. We now go live to our reporter who's on the scene of a very interesting new find.
The Apocalypse
SPLEEEN! SPLEEEEEEEEEN!!!!
SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by possums
5-27-04
Ouch, I think she's actually hurt.
Ooh, yes Bob, that looked like a nasty fall.
Anyway, onto a different matter. If we believe the prophets of disaster our world could soon end due to global warming or a meteor strike.
And if this topic turns out to be true they may be right. We now go live to our reporter who's on the scene of a very interesting new find.
The Apocalypse
SPLEEEN! SPLEEEEEEEEEN!!!!
SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by possums
5-28-04
Look, man, you go to Toledo, we aint' gettin' married.
Haven't you ever wanted to be part of the unholy marriage of chicken and stick?
No, not really.
I'm a lobster!

 

by possums
5-28-04
No Iraq war! Save our troops! Legalize hash!
Listen here, Hippie Shit, I'm trying to sleep here. Can you please shut up?
Are you a conservative?
I'm a conservative on bullets in the general direction of hippies!

 

by possums
5-29-04
Well, Jonas, I'm ready. Put your x in my y.
e=mc2!!!!
Ooh! Yes! Coagulate me! HARDER!!!
This seems a bit like "The Graduate..."
Well, how was that?
You put the "bra" in "algebra!"

Showing page 9.

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