All comics by kissMyCartoon

Profile

 

by kissMyCartoon
3-31-05
Hi! Is this the unemployment line?
Uh, yeah...but you're, well uh a Snowman!
It's almost spring and no one needs my services anymore
Don't you just melt when it get's too hot?
I've got about 6 hours left, that should be enough time to apply, get my cheque and live it up a little
People in hell want ice water...looks like they'll get it in about 6 hours.

 

by kissMyCartoon
3-31-05
At the end of the Second Age, the One Ring had fallen to Isildur King of Gondor. It would be a long age of shadow before a younng hobbit was brave enough to destroy it, or was it?...
Isildur you must throw the one ring into the fire and destroy it for all eternity! Do not be corrupted by it's dark power!
Um...ok
Uhhhhh...wait...what?
It's a bit hot in here, want to grab a Coke or something?

 

by kissMyCartoon
3-31-05
The Nostromo mining vessel is re-routed to answer an alien distress call. Caine finds a vast horde of egg-like objects and his curosity could threaten mankinds future...or will it?
Caine, I don't think you should touch those leathery egg looking things
Um...ok
Uhhhh...
It's hot in here want to go grab a Coke or something?

 

by kissMyCartoon
3-31-05
Lisa, I'm afraid we have to let you go
But why? what have I done? I am sure I can do better
It isn't your work, you're an excellent employee you're always on time, meet all your deadlines and everyone really likes you
Then why are you firing me, I don't understand
I stubbed my toe this morning...someone has to pay
Sob

 

by kissMyCartoon
3-31-05
Hi, I'm here to apply for the position of PA
Right, what qualifications do you have to fill the position?
Well I think this guns says it all, So where's my desk?
You'll still need to take a typing test

 

by kissMyCartoon
4-01-05
Damn network has been down all morning and then they fire me! I'll show them all, I've poisoned the water cooler mwa ha ha!
I heard you fired Jason , that's so harsh after all he's done for this company
Na, it was an april fools joke, we sent him an email letting him off the hook

 

by kissMyCartoon
1-09-08
Happy Birthday Mark, wow that's the 4th birthday we've had this week! Well here's your £1000 Birthday Bonus
Thanks Martin! It's really great of the company to keep up the Birthday Bonus tradition in these hard financial times.
Well we thought it might come in handy when you're looking for a new job.
What? I'm being fired, but why?
The company has to downsize due to handing out too many Birthday Bonuses this year.

 

by kissMyCartoon
1-10-08
Julia, please call Bruno and tell him that the client has complained about his presentation and that I am unhappy with his performance.
It's not really my job to discuss someone's performance, don't you think as project manager you should do that?
He might yell at me

 

by kissMyCartoon
1-10-08
Big Issue sir? Only £2
Get a job!
I've got a job sir, selling Big Issue. It's a modest living but it keeps a roof over my head and food in my belly, me and the boys go out a couple of times a week to the pub, it's not a bad life.
So all you have to do is stand on the corner yelling "Big Issue" and you get a place to stay and something to eat? No wife, no kids, no mortgage and no one hassling you to come home at night?
Big Issue sir? Only £2
Get a job!

 

by kissMyCartoon
1-11-08
Julia, I need two tickets to The Comedy Store, my suit picked up at the dry cleaners and a sandwich from Pret.
Ted, I've told you before I don't do personal errands, it's not in my contract.
I'll let you steal the cookies from the Executive Boardroom.
Julia?

 

by kissMyCartoon
1-11-08
Opening Day of the new HistoryWorld theme park and Drusus Valus Dicto is checking his list...
Right then, Medieval...check!
Evil Robots...ch...wha????
Must kill Richard Benjamin!
How many times to I have to tell you?...Stop living in the past!

 

by kissMyCartoon
1-11-08
Isn't it great being part of The Republic? People can vote, there is law and order and no one man may rule over others.
Yeah, it would be perfect if it weren't for slavery, the oppression of women and animal cruelty.
Now I'm depressed, I think I'll go home and commit suicide.
At least your wife will be able to collect on your life insurance.

 

No gnews is good gnews
by kissMyCartoon, 1-11-08

 

by kissMyCartoon
1-16-08
What did you do today?
Reduced the polarity of the neutron flow by the power of X into infinity and rotated the earths axis by 3 degrees, what did you do?
Played with string

 

by kissMyCartoon
1-16-08
Julia, make me a cup of coffee and bring me a biscuit from the kitchen please
Ted, haven't you heard of women's lib? or non-sexual discrimination in the workplace? My job isn't to serve your every whim but provide administrative support.
I know but there is a guy in the kitchen who looks scarey

 

by kissMyCartoon
1-17-08
Julia, why didn't you send that important report to the client? I asked you to do it three days ago and now I'm getting angry emails from them.
What report Ted? I wasn't here three days ago, in fact I've been on holiday for two weeks.
Oh, I guess that was a conversation I had with you in my head.

 

by kissMyCartoon
1-17-08
I posted on Catster and made 10 new Kitty friends in as many minutes, they sent me treats and playthings too!
You do realise it was the humans who posted on Catster, as neither you or I can actually use a computer.
I answered questions on the forum and joined a black cat club, I've got a cute rating of 8!
Ha! In your face, mine is 10!
I knew you were as sad as me.
I hate you.

 

by kissMyCartoon
10-06-09
Ted and Bill meet at an annual writer's convention
Hi, I'm Ted, I'm a writer
oh yeah? I'm Bill, I'm a writer too
I've self-published three novels, what have you had published?
Nothing, but I'm so famous I don't have to be published
How can you be famous if you've never published anything?
I Twitter twenty hours a day, all the accolade none of the boring writing bit

 

by kissMyCartoon
11-04-10
Julia, what happened to our stock of booze and cigarettes?
Ted we haven't had alcohol in this office since 1985, and smoking in the office is illegal.
But I need something to stimulate my creative juices and bolster my confidence when I push those big advertising ideas on the clients.
Ted, we sell Insurance not Advertising.
Do your job!
You've been watching Mad Men again haven't you?

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