All comics by BladeJB

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by BladeJB
8-29-02
Today we say hello to "TEH FANBOY" and his companion Curtis th' Frog..
HELO THSI SI TEH FANBYSO ADN ALSO SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol paly gta3 yuo fagot
God damnit, I'm not a frog! I'm a New Age sort of guy, with glasses and stuff.. sheesh! Oh, and hi..
What a combination! The acute wit of Curtis, supplemented by the mindless hollers of "TEH FANBOY".. interesting!
why paly MAREO or BLINX wehn yuo cuold BE PALYIGN teh MASTARFALLS ROCKS STARS GAEM (fro teh ps2 :erm:) STAETES FO EMAGRANCY!!!!!!
How the hell did I get stuck with this biscuit? They could've at least looked into my personality profile and matched me up with somebody I can relate to.. Gawd!
This appears to be th' start of a great friendship for "TEH FANBOY" and Curtis.. errm.. maybe not..
LOL YUO CANT SEE THSI BUT IM ACTUELY palyign POCKETS POOL right now LOLOLOLLalalaahah PALY GAT#!!!!!!!!!
That's great. I think I'll be leaving now..

 

by BladeJB
8-29-02
Meet Matt.. a normal guy that happens to like playing Nintendo games.
Hi, I'm Matt.. and I'm heavily anticipating Animal Crossing for the Nintendo GameCube!
Hmm, but isn't Animal Crossing only for children? Matt, you shouldn't be playing kiddy games! Grow up, Gawd!
Hee hee.. sure I'll go play tea party! And then we can play dollies! Hee hee hee! Oh, were you saying something narrator?
I guess Hanzou was right!
Mmm.. yeah, of course I was.. Nintendo fans are SO juvenile! Now then, I'm off to go play some Shrek!

 

by BladeJB
8-29-02
"TEH FANBOY" has been watching the news.. and he's outraged at what's been happening in Washington!
HELO TSHI SI TEH FANBYSOYS!!!!!!! adn im hear to maek a STATEMANT abuot VIDOE GAEMS VIAOCLENCE adn teh govmaentmint.................... YUO CANT CENSAR GAEMS yuo FAGOTS!!!
ALL TEH STUFFS taht HAPPANS in GTA3 adn STAETES FO EMENACNENCGEY happins on teh STREATS in rael lives....... BUT DO U CARE???? no!!!!! lol SO PLAESE LAY OFF TEH GAEMS OR ILL DRIVE A BUS INTO TEH SENIT
Maybe taking away our violent games wouldn't be so bad after all..
OMFG ITS TEH COPS id bettar get teh cars adn hope teh ARTEFICAIL INTELIGNANCE si jsut as BADS as GAT#s!!!!!!lolollaol
You're under arrest for threatening the lives of US Government officials!

 

by BladeJB
8-30-02
Hey man, whatcha reading there?
A note..
Really? What does it say?
The first rule of Fight Club is "You do not talk about Fight Club"..
...
That's weird. I wonder what that means!
YOU ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING SPORTS JACKET!

 

by BladeJB
8-30-02
H-Hi.. my name is Ernie. I am 38 years old, and have a pet here today. His name is Sprinkles. I also have trouble making friends.
Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely.. w-which is rather often since I'm a social reject.. me and Sprinkles like to play in the kitty litter.. y-yeah..
T-Th' litter may smell fishy, but me n' kitty play in it just th' same.. hee hee, heh.. I have problems.. I have problems.. hee hee, heh, heh.. *sigh*

 

by BladeJB
8-30-02
Sometimes I wonder if I'm insane..
At times I think so. I mean, I have a lot of weird emotions. I think of many strange things..
Like spunky circus dogs up in the sky, standing on big colorful balls.. and homosexual alien Christmas elves!
But am I truly insane, or is it just a fascination with th' unusual?
I think we both know the answer to that one, sparky!

 

by BladeJB
8-31-02
In the city..
Hi, I'm Harvey! Could you help me find my dog?
Oh, hi there.. sure, I guess. What's your dog's name?
His name is "LETSGOHAVESEXUPINMYAPARTMENT"! H'yuck h'yuck.. let's go then!
Uhm, that's a funky name to give a dog.. err.. *walks away*
Did you see that? I almost had her! Hahahaha!
Oh man, oh man, that was SO cool! Haha, you're the MAN! It almost worked too! Man! Hahaah.. hah.. aha..

 

by BladeJB
9-02-02
Hmm.. it appears that "TEH FANBOY" and Curtis are back! Let's watch..
ROFLAOFLRO arant yuo taht quear DUDE i was chillan with BEFORCE???//?
Erm.. what was that? Oh, it's you..
YES I FORGOTS TO INDTRODUCODE MYSELF............... i am TEH FANANBOYS!!!!!!!!!!! WAHTS SHAKEN FAGOT loallaolol
Uh, yes.. I know who you are. Now then, where is my cyanide pill..
Check your lower left pocket, Curtis! Har har har! See ya next time, kids!
haev yuo EVAR palyed GTA3 fro teh ps2???? OMFG i LOEV runnign ovar teh SHTRIPPARS!!!! so fun. IN TEH NAVEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damnit.. I know it's in here somewhere..

 

by BladeJB
9-04-02
Say hello to Chester.. he's a Stick Man! Hey there, Chester.. what's up?
Oh.. hey Narrator.. not much. I'm just trying to think..
...
Damnit, Chester.. stop thinking and get to work! We have a strip to do!
..........
Hee heh heh, what a boring strip! Thinking is for the birds, I say! Hee heh heh!

 

by BladeJB
9-04-02
In the park..
Hi, I'm Gabe.. hardcore gamer.
Hi, I'm Seaver.. the drunkard with a heart of gold!
And this is.. Park Talk.. with Gabriel and Arnold Seaver!
Dah dah dah DAH dah dah dah DAH dah dah dah DAH, duh duh DAH dah DUH!
What the.. %$&#.. was that?
H'yort h'yort, that's our theme song! You like?

 

by BladeJB
9-04-02
Marcus is returning home after a long day at work. Let's see what happens..
Ahh.. it's great to be home! Say.. uhm.. why is the door open? I thought I closed it..
Wha..? Who are you?! And what the HELL are you doing in here?!
H-Hi.. my name is E-Ernie.. yeah.. yeah.. I broke into your house to smell your kitty litter.. heh.. hehe.. heh..
Augh.. Jesus H. Christ.. that's disgusting.. I don't even have a cat! Jesus.. just get out.. get the f**k out of my house!
..C-Can I keep this dirty underwear I found? ..heh.. th-that's okay Sprinkles.. we g-got what we came for.. heh.. hehe.. *sigh*

 

by BladeJB
9-05-02
A Nike shoe salesman is knocking at Marcus' door. This could be intriguing!
Hmm.. shoes. I don't think I need any shoes right now.. but..
Hey man.. I work for Nike! Shoes, dude? *glug glug*
Uhm.. what are you trying to sell me? Footwear, or liquor? You need to straighten yourself out, man!
*glug* Holy s**t, *glug* that hit the spot! So bro.. you want any stuff? Sneakers.. *glug* F***ing s**t, this s**t is clutch! *glug* Ahh.. man.. that is good..
S**t indeed, my friend! S**t indeed!
Come back when you're sober, and then we can talk.
S**t, dude.. hold on! *glug* Ahh.. f**k.. that's sweet.. DUDE! I don't really work for Nike! I came over to party, man! Hahaha.. *glug*.. this s**t f***ing.. casbaw.. s**t..

 

by BladeJB
9-05-02
Alrighty.. here's my chance. Don't blow it, self!
Here's a joke, folks! What did the chicken say to th' moose? Nothing, because chickens can't talk! Hah!
BOOOOOOOOO!
... And stay out!
I'm suing for discrimination against.. against.. bad chicken jokes! Yes'sirree! And yes, I know I've "got nothing".. thanks!

 

by BladeJB
9-06-02
Hanzou Doolee!
Hanzou doesn't like cartoony games, but he loves Jet Set Radio Future for Xbox. Why do you think that is?
Hanzou Doolee!
Hanzou says that Final Fantasy isn't coming to GameCube, even though he's seen the pictures. Why do you think that is?
You're going to call me a fanboy, right? I love Nintendo, Mario Sunshine is beautiful.. so shut up! Now, back to bashing Nintendo.. oops!

 

by BladeJB
9-07-02
Gabe and Seaver visit NBC to pitch "Park Talk" as a new late night show..
Uh, hi. Yeah, Park Talk.. it's going to be a talk show that takes place in a park. I'm working with my friend over there on it.
Ah, so you must be Gabriel! Park Talk, right? What's the deal, sonny?
Hiya, th' name's Arnold Seaver! I'm the type of man that can change time n' space by wiggling my ears and pulling my scrotum!
Seaver may have charisma, but he's also got a beer belly! Better luck next time, guys! Dah dah dah DUH dah!
*sigh* Don't waste your time, sir.. just call security and get it over with..
Sweet jumping Jesus on a flamin' cross, what the HELL is he talking about?

 

by BladeJB
9-08-02
NOOOOOOO!
*sigh* Life stinks. Nobody likes me, and frankly.. I don't like myself! I should just kill myself and get it over with..
I'm here to save your life, Stick Man! And if unsuccessful, raid your pockets and empty your bank account!
What the...? Jesus, our lord himself? What the hell are you doing here?
*shrug* Personally, I stay th' hell away from churches! I'm nailed to a cross y'know, I have no defense against fondling!
Sheesh, Jesus.. aren't Christian charities enough to financially support th' Church?

 

by BladeJB
9-10-02
H'yort h'yort! Hi kids! Welcome to Park Talk.. starring just me, Seaver, since Gabe is taking a leak! Today our guest is a clown!
Y'ello.. I'm Harold the clown.. not just "clown". Har har har.. say.. where's the camera?
Oh, geez.. I forgot our theme song! Dah dah dah dah DUH duh dah! Dah dah dah DUH duh dah! Dah duh dah dah duh dahhh! Dah!
Shucks.. what th' heck was THAT, buddy? And isn't this a TV show? Where's the camera and the set, eh?
H'yort h'yort, we couldn't get a contract at NBC so we just pretend that there are cameras here!
I see.. that's quite a shame. I hope this means I still get that free lunch at McDonald's that you promised me. Har har har! *sigh*

 

by BladeJB
9-10-02
HELO HELO... tshis si TEH FANABOYES!!! adn im hear in TEH BIGS APPAL on vaceation!! :)))))))) to see teh sites adn SUONDS of a BUSTERLIGN cities!!!!!!!
OMFG...... their are PEOPAL gettaign into a SCUFFEL on teh STREAT!!!! its jtust leik in STAETES FO EMARECGANCY!!!!! but were si TEH PS2???????????
Hoo, hah.. yah yah yah! I'll show yo.. ow ow! Bam bam! Hiiiii-yah! Tiger Uppercut! Woo, wow! Ah ah ah yah yah yah! *crack*
o no im lost in news yoark
Got any cigarettes?

 

by BladeJB
9-11-02
Here we find Tracy.. Ernie's little sister. Let's she what she's up to!
Oh, great.. my big brother is at it again with his kitty litter campfires. Gawd, that's sick. And now I have to clean it up.. ugh..
Bleh, this place smells like a frickin' cow farm.. meh.. sickening. Why is it always me that has to clean up his messes?
Oh.. h-hi there sis.. heh.. hehe.. yeah.. how've you been doin'? Hehe.. heh.. yeah.. yeah.. Sprinkles thinks y-you're pretty.. ehe.. heh..
For crying out loud, Ernie.. you just stepped in a pile of burnt kitty litter! Watch where you're stepping!
T-That's okay.. w-we can clean 'em off.. ehhe.. heh.. let's go lick these messy s-shoes off.. eh Sprinkles? Heh.. yummy.. ehe.. *sigh*

 

by BladeJB
9-12-02
I think I'm ready to tell you my secret now..
Okay, maaaaan..
I see dead careers. They're everywhere. They don't know they're dead.. they think they're still alive..
You's gotta speak up, man, I can't understan' what yo' sayin'!
This guy is dense..
Oooo, a lady! Hey lady, how'd yo' fancy sleepin' with a baggy 57-yea'-ol' black man t'night! Damn, girl, those words ain't very lady-like!

 

by BladeJB
9-14-02
Hi, I'm Tobor. Let me guess, you're expecting me to come at you screaming stuff about myself in th' 3rd-person, right?
It's all a big misconception! I'm a social outcast for this.. the butt of every joke.. a reject among my peers! I've been stereo-typed!
*shakes head*
TOBOR WANT CLOSURE!

 

by BladeJB
9-14-02
*ding dong* Marcus' doorbell rings..
Please God, don't let it be the drunken shoe salesman, or that queer kitty litter fetish guy.. Amen..
Whew..
No such luck, eh Marcus? And.. cut!
*sigh*
TOBOR WANT TO EAT YOU!

 

by BladeJB
9-15-02
Harvey's trying out some clever pick-up lines today. Let's watch..
Hi, my name's Harvey! Would you like to date an elite EverQuest player? I can camp like no other man, baby!
No.
Hi, my name's Harvey! How'd you like to try a man-steak, raw and hardcore, with a side of mashed potatoes?
No.
Haha, that was so cool! See ya next time, kids.. and don't try this at home!
Hi, my name's Harvey! Whoa baby, you're digital! With bump-mapping and stuff! How would you li-
No.

 

by BladeJB
6-16-03
Wow.. a triceratops with a cigarette. If I didn't know better, I'd say that I've seen everything!
Uhm, yeah.. what happened to the dinosaur? Hmm.. a walking, talking cigarette.. NOW I've seen everything!
Howdy Pard'ner!
Ba dum PSHH-zzzz! Ah, crap.. the freakin' cymbal broke.. G'night folks..
*deep sigh* Why, God.. why must you test me like this?
I'm up for a good cuddle if you're up for a good cuddle, soulmate..

 

by BladeJB
6-16-03
Good God, man! What are you doing?!
I have nothing to live for.. nobody loves me, nobody wants me! I just want it all to end!
How can you do this.. and on Christmas morning no less? You have plenty to live for! Plenty of opportunities.. like.. like..
Uhhh.. let's see here.. how about a career in home improvement? I know how you love to swing a hammer!
I guess it could work..

 

by BladeJB
6-21-03
Harvey's on the prowl once again..
Why.. hello there!
Oh, hello.
I've been following you for the past 20 minutes or so.. and I find you very attractive! Smart, too! How about sex then?
...And man, was she good! No woman on Earth can resist me!
Hahaha.. HAH! You're the man now, dog! That was SO cool! Hahah..

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