All comics by GodsBestFriend

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by GodsBestFriend
2-01-03
Osama Bin Laden releases another tape to the public
I am OSAMA BIN LADEN and I eat babies and GRANDMOTHERS
I'm a grandmother.
GULP!
Oh god I'm dead
Don't mess with me or that will happen to your grandmother, or if you're a baby/grandmother it will happen to you!
Don't be mean Osama or I'll get God after you again!

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-01-03
Somebody get me off this damn crucifix!
How about no.
Could you at least give me a sweater it cold here!
Buy your own, nerd!
See if I let you into hevan then, bitch!
Goto hell!

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-01-03
...so I've been in Hell. Anyways, what have you been up to God?
Nothing, just chillin' dawg. I've caught on to what kids nowadays say, homeslice. My son loves this Rap stuff and he's been forcing me to listen, it be makin me off the hizzy.
You won't believe what happened after the last reunion. Some of the people from heavan came to hell with me.
Hell's actually pretty nice now, I love what you've done with it. You should add some more color though, red get's boring.
Satan: I guess, but remember that time I decorated hell with flowers? Everyone hated it! They like it better firey.
SWEET JESUS I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!!!!
MWAHAHA YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE THE PAIN YOU'RE GONNA TO FEEL CHILD!

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-01-03
Jesus seeks advice from the man upstairs
Hey Dad?
Yes my son?
I need some help, I promised my friends I'd bring some booze to the party tonight, but forgot the water to wine trick.
Why not come and party with your old man? We can play spin the bottle, hide and go seek, and tell ghost stories.
Truth is revealed!
Dad, I hate to say this...but you don't know how to throw a good party. You can't even get chicks!
Yes I can! I met your mother by playing spin the bottle

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-03-03
Jesus attends his first day at elementary school.
...yes?!
What makes you think you're so special? I can hang from a cross and starve myself too!
Look, I happened to DIE for your sins you little bitch, show me some fucking respect!!!!
...and I can kick you in your no-no place, so play dollies with me or I'll do that and tell my mommy!
Intimidated by Suzie Summers threats Jesus runs home.
Dad it was horrible she kept making fun of me, why do they hate me?!
because their feeble childlike minds can't compehend your blatant homosexuality, they're just confused of you liking other males.

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-03-03
Now boys and girls, teacher God is going to do aritmatic
First problem of the day, what is the square root of 2000?
umm...5?
Ohh hoo hoo that must hurt
WRONG!!!!
AAAHAHAHHHABARGLEAHSD
Any other takers?
Oh man, I know this, it's 2001!!

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-03-03
Oh man, :-( I'm never going to find a woman in this world. No one would date a know it all like myself!
You're right, no one would date some trash like yourself.
Sigh, I will never experience true love, I'll wind up a feeble old hag masturbating to Goats weekly, like my father.
I EAT WAFFLES!!!!!
There's no woman who would be my girlfriend, not for my looks, charm, or my money!
Money? My name's Sylvia.

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-04-03
So I met a girl today dad, she's the sweetest
Aww, my Jesusie-poo is growing up.
She's the best, I absolutely love her, the sweetest face, but I only see her hair, if you catch my drift. Hehehe
High five man, where'd you all meet?
In prision for about $200 an hour
Tsk tsk son, that ruins everything.

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-04-03
Umm, Sylvia, we need to talk...I have to break up with you.
WHY JESUS WHY!?!
I blame david...erm, I blame my dad, God. He made me break up with you.
What a cocksmoker, I'm gonna talk to him and have this all sorted out
So only $200 an hour?
Yep, and ocassionally I might need Crack or LSD

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-08-03
Jesus vs George W in the 2004 election.
...and if I'm elected president I will prevent Osama from eating your grandmas/babies
Lower taxes for all! and for my final statement, SOMEONE GET ME OFF THIS DAMNED CROSS!
Now let's see what old Dubya has to say!
If I'm re-elected president I'll KILL Saddam Hussain in a game of Dance Dance Revolution!!!
[Crowd] Yay!! Dubya for president!!

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-08-03
AGH GOD!!!!
Yes?
Why can't anyone get this damned crucifix off of me??
Because it is damned, you see only one of Satan's sentries can get if off you
Jesus Christ, is such a bitch
Well where the HELL, no pun intended, can I find one of those guys???
Bitch bitch bitch, that's all you do. You can find one on the other end of town, his names Williamson

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-08-03
Jesus ends up, again, in prison.
Are you the one they call Williamson?
Why yes, but no one's called me that since NAM, where I saw THE DEVIL, Jacob Lucifer, aka SATAN...aka SANTA!
The wild haired scientist takes jesus to his underground lair
Wow, this is pretty nifty, but tell me can you get this crucifix off me??
Hmmm Why yes... it will cost $27 million dollars and 73 cents.
Jesus ends up, again, in prison.
How about if I just let you into heavan? Honestly, sin as much as you want, I'll still let you in!
Done!

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-08-03
Williamson begins work on Jesus
Ow that hurts
Shut up twat! The patient must be silent at all times!
woo almost donee!@!....DONE FINISHED FINITO, I had to do some extra work, those crosses mess your body up
Here, ladies and gentlemen is the new, crossless JESUS!
So, how do I look?
Man. you're a fucking PIMP!

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-09-03
Jesus, estatic with his new look helps others
I, Jesus, shall stop whining about my problems and do what I do best, HEAL PEOPLE!
Mister Jesus, can you help me get my bra off, it's painfully tight!
Jesus fixes the bunny's problem and continues his day
OH JESUS! Can you help me? We're plummetting towards our death and we'll never live!
Oh well, this is easy to do! Just pray to my dad and everything will be okay!
Sure enough, Jesus saved the plane!
Somebody help me out of this trash can!
Sorry dude, I'm no miracle worker!...hey, you're JAKE THE MORON, from Jake the Moron comics! Let me try to

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-11-03
Jesus saves the day!
Thank you Jesus!
Anytime, Just don't be sinning, I've died once for your sins and I don't wanna do it again!
Ok okay, but let me tell you this awesome joke!
Sure.
Can Jake the Moron think of any GOOD jokes?
So, there's a donkey, horse, and a pig...
Don't make me put you back in that trash can!

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-11-03
YOU KILLED ME!!!
....you're psycho
YOU DID DRUGS DAN, That makes you responsible!
How so, and my name's William, you jackass.
YOUR DRUG DEALER SHOT ME, in a fight OVER YOUR money, the money used to buy that marijuana!!
...and you were the one fighting for that money, you needed it to buy more crack, you stupid addict.

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-11-03
Whoa, Dad's on AIM!
AIM CONVO: ThePowerOfChrist:Hey Dad. - EvolutionStinks:Hey son, wanna play a game of Starcraft? - ThePowerOfChrist:Sure! - EvolutionStinks:Just go easy on your old man
20 minutes later
Man, you always win...do you have the game on God mode?!

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-11-03
Hello, this is Alex(well, a graphic representing Alex), the creator of all these comics. I come here tonight to speak about a letter.
This letter reads as follows: "Dear GodsBestFriend, I let my son view your comics the other day, and he came back saying that God's a goat!
Now I was raised on a catholic backround and know for a fact God's no goat. I banned my son from the internet that night.

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-11-03
I later went on to look at your comics and I am horribly offended with the material you publish! Jesus never had a girlfriend named Sylvia
These comics are straight lies to your viewers, George Bush could never beat Saddam in a game of D.D.R. Though what I find most offending to the Theists
is "The New Adventures of CHRIST" Jesus never complained about the cross and it's insulting you would make Jesus BLACK, and a pimp no less.

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-11-03
I am terribly disgusted with these wild accusations you make about Religion. It's people like you, who preach Free Speech
and promote our youth to think for themselves that make this world a horrible place to live in. You deserve eternal damnation!! Love, Beth Holden"
Wow, Bethany, strong words there...a bit hostile with the eternal damnation part, though. Well, here's my response, YOU ARE A MOTHE--
I'm sorry but I'm going to have to fine you for almost cursing on national interweb and having racist remarks on your comics(see statement 2 press part2)

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-14-03
Dear Loyal Fans, I am unable to make any more religion inspired comics...
It seems that since the last few episodes and our letter from the viewer
Police and Theists are on my back like a horse on a horseshoe, but no need to worry, plenty of other material to mock.
Now, is it me or was church and state seperate? Damn Fascists! This also means that all your favorite characters are fired.
What the hell man. we're FIRED? That's totally unfair
Yeah, but what are you gonna do about it? You're not God.

 

by GodsBestFriend
2-14-03
Here is our new SERIES Starring: Nameless Joe!
Oh my GOD dude it's MARIO!
It's a MEE Mario!
I've played all your games and I must know...have you ever, y'know...sexed Princess Peach
Well, yeah...it was fun in the gangbang with Luigi and Wario, mama mia that was long and rough!
About 15 minutes later
Ok, shut the hell up and fix my toilet. That's what I'm paying you for.
Okey Dokey!

 

by GodsBestFriend
4-06-04
WOAH UOOH
GULP...Hi guys what's going on?
I am going to Astronaut him to death!
UH OHH
I'm gonna slash his face with my hands of doom. Then I shall disappear into the dark night and wait for another day to kill. Ham And BACON
I am a Caesar. I will become ruler and die at the hands of my best friend Brutus
I really should wear pants more often
Why, I don't know what I can do. Hell I can barely see out of thiis mask and I am itching but I can't show it because I am a true knight.
Well, if he's not dead when I get up there. I'm gonna gnaw on him and then lick my testicles because they taste nice.

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