All comics by Undaunted

Profile

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
Hello, and welcome to my comic. It's a comic about me, and my life. Look, there I am, making the comic strip on my computer.
Pretty original, huh?
I'm Spencer. And this is a cartoon about me, and my sad and pointless life. Seriously, I've no clue what you're waiting for. Nothing funny is going to happen. Now let me get back to my comic.

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
Well, this comic has to start somewhere. So let's start where I met Sarah. Nothing funny happened beforehand, I assure you. One day, when waiting for a bus...
My God! That girl is gorgeous! If only she'd talk to me... I need to think of something smooth to say!
Hey...
Hello...
My name's Sarah. Who are you?

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
Howzits?
?
Dang! I blew it!
That's it... It's official. I'm gonna die a virgin.

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
Here I am, chatting it up with my good friend, Zack.
You see, Zack and I communicate over AIM, because we're both complete losers that will avoid natural sunligh and normal interaction at all costs.
Here he is. Zack isn't actually an African-American, but Affirmitive Action made us paste him in like that... Whatever. Can't fight city hall. And it's not a bad look for him, either.
Uh... Can I help you?
Huh? Oh, no. Just wanted to introduce you as a character Zack, so I can use you for later. Continue about your business.
Alright... Do you mind getting out of my room?

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
Despite my best efforts, Sarah actually took a liking to me. One day, she even ventured so far as to invite me over to her house...
So, yeah, this is pretty much all of my house...
Okay, I just have to be calm. If I take everything slowly, I can win her over... Come on Spencer, you got this one!
So what do you want to do?
Can I smell your hair?!
Uh...
Oh, I'm sorry! That was... Uh, not what I meant to say...

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
Once we sat down and began to talk, I learned a lot about Sarah. She happened to be a very sweet girl, and a devout Catholic. Unfortunately she was forced to attend an all-girls school...
This knowledge, naturally, ignited several twisted fantasies within me, almost immediately...
I've been a naughty girl, Spencie...
What are you thinking about, Spencer?
Huh? Oh... Nothing. Nothing...

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
Sorry, I've had to pause the comic briefly, because Zack has a question. What is it, Zack?
Yeah, what is it?
It's actually about you, Spencer, and the narrator. The guy talking up in the yellow box is pretty much you, right? So why do you need a character in the comic, AND all these little yellow boxes?
Uh... Well... That's because... Um...
Uh...
Nevermind that... Can we just get back to the comic?
Yeah, you suck, man.
You're an idiot... Both of you.

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
I quickly realized, however, one of the many downsides to dating a religous zealot was how completely creepy their house was. Sarah's house had an angel or a crucifix on every wall...
Creepy...
I haven't been this terrified of Catholicism since 'The Exorcist'...

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
I'm serious Zack... This Sarah girl is perfect! I want to spend the rest of my life with her!
Spencer, you said the exact same thing about Maria. And Kira. And Christina. And Wendy...
Bite me, Zack. At least I don't have an obsession with Agent Scully from the X-Files.
You leave Agent Scully out of this! She's a beautiful woman, and I won't stand for you slandering her so!
You do realize she's just an actress playing a role, right?
Shut up, shut up, shut up!

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
It's okay, man... It's just a crucifix, just a symbol of her religion. It's nothing to be afraid of.
Did that thing just look at me?
Mommy!

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
Things went well with Sarah, but soon... Sooner than I would have liked... Came the day to meet her father.
Hello Sir. I'd just like to say, though I haven't known your daughter very long, she's an amazing girl, and very special to me.
. . . . . .
I don't like you.

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
Oh, baby, yeah...
Most of my friends are obsessed with porn, and I don't understand why. Sure, I understand it's meant to be erotic...
Oh! Harder!
But it's simply impossible to find normally porn nowadays. All porn created today either involves a donkey, or a woman with a penis, or an over-emphasis on feet... It's really pretty disturbing.
Do it again! Faster!
Sweet Jesus! Turn it off!

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
A pervert's best bet for quality porn that won't make you vomit is the Internet. The Internet has revolutionized everyone's lives, particularly how we masturbate.
The Internet has a reduced risk of seeing something emotionally scarring, because everything is organized. Therefore, you can enjoy your own personal fetish, or lack thereof. This one looks good...
DOWNLOADING!
Ew... Apparently to some people, 'pleasantly plump' means well over 500 pounds... Ugh...

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
Anyways, my point is that most porn is rather offensive... Disgusting, even.
My advice to all you perverts out there is to use your imagination, instead of relying on images marketed by such a dark, unregulated industry, that, in fact, is very abusive to it's employees.
Either that, or jack off in the movie theater when you go see "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle". We all know it's gonna suck, so you might as well get your money's worth. Plus, that Lucy Liu is hot!

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
Zack, I've decided to give up porn. I'm quitting, cold turkey, and I suggest you do the same.
Why?
There are many reasons. It's demeaning to the act of sex, the actors are constantly abused since the industry is unregulated, and I feel it is morally wrong.
Oh. That's too bad. Because I found a site you might've liked... It's called Tokyo Bitches 2003: Hardcore. Lots of lesbian action.
Heh. Welcome back Spencer.

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
We have paused the comic once again, but this time, for a quick brainstorming session.
I've made at least ten comics in the past few days, but I'm still lacking a title. Sure, every three boxes or so have their own title, but I need a broad one for my entire collection.
Hmm... I can see how that is a problem. We need to think of a name for your comics.
Hmm... Let me think... Maybe something like "Chronicles of a Depressed and Horny Fifteen Year Old?"
What about Spiderman? Spiderman is a pretty cool comic strip...
Yeah, that'll work. From now on, this group of comics will be called 'Spiderman'. Enjoy!
Hey, can I be Doctor Octopus?

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
This comic strip isn't what I normally do. Most of the time, I can be found locked in a small, dark room, playing Morrowind for an unhealthy amount of time...
Wow, what a cool sword!
Several hours later...
Okay, I just need to get my Conjuration skill up five more levels, then I'm done playing for the day, I swear...
I did it! I finally did it! I'm Archmage of House Telvanni! Yes!
And now I... I just feel kinda empty inside... I think I need some of that, what do you call it... Fresh air?

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
So, yeah, Zack, I'm thinking of learning Japense...
Why?
Well, think about it. The entire world is mad at the USA right now for it's unjustified attack on Iraq, and every day in the news I see that the value of a dollar is falling, but the yen is rising.
So you're saying you want to flee to Japan for politcal reasons? Bull. You're really going to increase your chance of scoring with an asian girl, aren't you?
Do you even have to ask anymore, dude?

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
I'd just like to take a moment to thank my readers... If any.
If I have brought a smile, or even a laugh, to one person's day, then that makes all my work that much more worthwhile.
And if I haven't made you laugh yet, then you're not a complete idiot. I congradulate you on maintaining you dignity, and not becoming another braying moron like so many of the people on this Earth.

 

by Undaunted
7-11-03
Note: The previous comic was a joke, and was not intended to be offensive to anyone who does laugh at my jokes. Seriously, I was just kidding. This is a comic strip, after all...
Zack, guess what?
What?
As of today, when asked 'boxers or briefs', I can proudly proclaim 'boxers'! That's right, I'm officially free of tightie-whities.
...Um, congradulations?
Yeah, it's great. I feel so much sexier, and now I don't have to deal with my genitals getting stuck together all the time within that humid little undergarment.
...I really wish I hadn't sat here and pictured that.

 

by Undaunted
7-12-03
Hi. I've paused the comic again to address something I feel is important. I've been getting some complaints lately on how all of my comics are exactly three or six frames in length, in more, no less.
Apparently some people find this style repetitive. I disagree. The three frame format works perfectly. It's short, sweet, and I'm always able to reach a witty punchline, right in the third frame...
...Oh crap. I've jinxed it...

 

by Undaunted
7-12-03
Can I take your order?
Yeah, I'll just have a basket of hot wings, thanks.
A what? I don't think we serve that here, buddy.
Do I have to say it?
I don't see 'Hot Wings' here on the menu... Will there be anything else?
...Fine, I'll take an order Jimbob's Special Extra-Spicy Fingerlickin' Hot Wings with Southwestern Mega-Cowboy Sauce. You happy now?

 

by Undaunted
7-12-03
What do you want now?
I just remembered, I have a coupon for a FREE large soda! And you have to accept it. So, ha, in your face!
...This coupon expired yesterday.
What? You bastard, if you don't give me my soda, I'll punch you in the head and take it!
Your empty threats are almost as worthless as this coupon.
...I hate you.

 

by Undaunted
7-12-03
Yeah, so now I'm banned from that stupid chicken place, just because that smart-ass burger-flipper complained to his manager.
Well, if this guy works at a chicken place, he can't very well be a BURGER-flipper, can he?
You know Zack, you're not exactly being comforting right now...

 

by Undaunted
7-13-03
Tonight, on Fox: It's 'When Circuses Go Wrong', followed by 'Who Wants to be Betroved to a Rich Guy?'
That's right, 'Who Wants to be Betroved to a Rich Guy' is Fox's new smash hit reality show, in which a number of women compete for one millionaire's affection.
In the end, our rich guy will select ten lucky ladies to be his concubines! Here's one contestant: "I hope the rich guy picks me, so me and my family will be able to eat tommorow!"
Hey everybody! Come quick! It's the fall of Western civilization!

 

by Undaunted
7-13-03
One day, recently, I had a chance encounter on the sidewalk...
Hey, man... You look incredibly familiar. Do I know you?
It's possible. I think I recognize you from somewhere too...
Wait, I remember! You're Brian, that guy that was expelled last year for stabbing that black student!
Oh, yeah. That was me. I'd like to make it clear, however, that I didn’t stab the guy because he was black. I just felt like stabbing some one, and he was the closest guy around.
... You don't happen to feel like stabbing anyone right now, do you?
No, you're pretty safe.

 

by Undaunted
7-13-03
Hey, Brian, I know this might be a strange question... But do you think you could help me with a little problem I've had at the mall's food court?
That depends on the kind of problem...
There's this really smug guy that works at the chicken place there. He's publically humiliated me for the last time, and I was wondering if...
It'll be twenty bucks, and I get to keep the head.
The head!? Sweet Jesus, I just wanted you to scare him a little!
Oh... Well then I guess that'd be fifty.

 

by Undaunted
7-13-03
Yeah, so now I need to get my hands on fifty dollars to pay this guy...
Wait, wait, wait... Slow down. You've hired some one to intimidate a guy at the food court, simply beacause he wouldn't accept your coupon? That's messed up!
It's the principal of the thing! That kid at the chicken place represents all the people that have stepped on me and mistreated me throughout the years. It's time I fought back!
... By getting your hired muscle to beat up some perfectly innocent person?
Precisely! Anyways, I have an interview lined up at Bob's Grocery Store tomorow. They're the only place that'll hire some one as young as me.
Spencer, I hope for your sake that a physcologist moves through your line...

 

by Undaunted
7-13-03
So... Spencer? What makes you think you'd be a good employee of Bob's Grocery Store?
Well, Mr. Jones, I'm very patient and polite, and I always thought I'd work well with customers. I'm very organized and good with numbers, and people tell me all the time that I have a great smile.
Yeah, you and every other applicant.
What if I promise not to turn you in when I catch you banging one of your fifteen-year old employees?
You're hired.
I thought so.

 

by Undaunted
7-15-03
Hey, Sarah! You work here?
Spencer? Hi! I haven't seen you in so long! Yeah, I took a summer job here... I'm guessing you have too, huh?
Yeah, it's my first day.
Well welcome aboard!
... Sarah, do me a favor and stay the hell away from that Mr. Jones...
Yeah... Yeah, I, uh... I know.

 

by Undaunted
7-15-03
Hey, hey! Watch what you're doing you idiot, you just broke my eggs!
See, 'mam, your eggs are just fine.
Hm... You must have switched the broken ones with a new case when I wasn't looking...
Yes, clearly the only logical explanation is that I used my satanic powers to replace your eggs which I malicously and purposely destroyed.
Can I see your manager?

 

by Undaunted
7-15-03
Forgive me father, for I have sinned...
Tell me your sins my child...
I orally pleasured my friend, Spencer. You know him, right? Spencer, tall, scrawny guy, bushy hair...
Oh, my...
Several minutes later, outside the church...
I can't believe you actually went through with it! You're the greatest, Sarah! Just a few more people, and the rumor will officially be in full swing...
Yeah, yeah... Who else is on the list?

 

by Undaunted
7-18-03
Hey, Zack. Whats up?
Nothing interesting... How was your weekend?
It was great! I was playing Arcanum, and my character got his hands on a Mystic Chakaram! It's the sweetest thing, it kills ghouls in a single hit! You should've seen it.
... I made out with my girlfriend all weekend.
You suck, Zack. You're just jealous of my chakaram!
Heh heh... Dork.

 

by Undaunted
7-18-03
Monday, at my crappy job...
Good morning, Sarah.
Hey Spencer! I've got great news... My parents finally let me out of the all girls school. Once summer ends, I'll be in public high school with you!
Hmm... I'll be able to spend more time with Sarah... But on the other hand, I'll have a lot more competition! The only reason she talks to me is because she never sees other guys.
And if she goes to public school, I'll never get to see her in her uniform again! It's not fair... That plaid skirt is so damn hot!
Uh, that's great... What classes are you taking?

 

by Undaunted
7-18-03
She kept talking, but all I could think about was other guys leering at her, and that cute plaid skirt...
I know it's an impure thought, but... Damn, that's a fine ass!
Hey, baby! Looking to earn a little money?
Umm...?
Zack! Not you too! You're my best friend, can't you at least pretend to be not be gawking at Sarah's chest?
Screw you, man. Everyone know's I'm the better looking one. Hey, Sarah! Hi! I'm Spencer's good-looking friend, Zack!

 

by Undaunted
7-19-03
Zack, you have to help me! I need to convince Sarah not to go to our shool next year! I can't hold up against all that competition!
Don't you think you might be being a tad defensive. I mean, you guy's aren't even technically dating...
Yeah we are! We went to the movies that one time, remember?
If her parents sitting a row behind you, it doesn't count as a date...
Gillian Anderson is the true name of the character "Dana Scully" on the X-Files. She was born in Chicago, Illonois. She does not, unlike her character, consider herself to be a skeptic...
Shut up! I can't hear you!

 

by Undaunted
7-19-03
She enjoys working on the X-Files, but hopes to do more work in theater or get into some independent films...
Damn it Spencer... At least I don't mock your obsessions!
Obsessions? What are you talking about, I don't have an obssessions! You think I'm stalking Sarah, don't you?
You have to admit, you're being a little over-protective of some one you haven't even kissed. However, your interest in Sarah is probably a lot healthier than your hatred for that chicken joint guy...
...Who?
You're an idiot Spencer... Now if you'll excuse me, the Sci-Fi channel is starting their X-Files marathon...

 

by Undaunted
7-21-03
Da, da, da... Ditta-da, da-da! Bum, bum, do da!
Oh crap... Inspirational music. Another prescripition medication commercial...
I have genital herpes! But I'm not going to let it get me down!
Yes you are! You have herpes... That's what herpes does! It gets you down. Deal with it, you stupid whore!
I'm a free spirit, and herpes doesn't need to effect my love life! Come here, honey...
No, dude! Don't hug that skank! She has herpes!

 

by Undaunted
7-21-03
The new All-American Burger at BK... Filled with All American Beef goodness!
The sudden surge of patriotism in our fast food chains is making me nauseous.
How juicy is at? Well, at least two or three napkins worth. And you'll need to wipe your ass with a whole Californian redwood!
First, they cut down down the rainforest to make room for the cattle... Which they slaughter, then suggest an excessive use of napkins...
And, with our new All American store policy, you can rest assured that there are no Arabs allowed. You can eat your burgers without harrasment from those damn towel-heads!
If there is a God, the nearest Burger King will erupt in an enomorous grease-fire... Please!

 

by Undaunted
7-21-03
It's easy! Just dial 1-800 C-A-L-L-A-T-T!
It's easy for you, and cheap for them!
How odd... I'm suddenly filled with an incredible urge to kill Carrot Top...
You know, more than usual.

 

by Undaunted
7-21-03
You know Zack, they say everyone is at least a little gay. To be honest, I'd say I'm about 10% gay... I like silk boxers just a little too much.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I'd say I'm about 15% gay... I'm mildly attracted to Leonardo DiCaprio.
Let us never speak of this again.
Agreed.

 

by Undaunted
8-04-03
Recently, I've received many complaints that my comic strip is mostly 'male-oriented humor'.
Therefore, in an effort to attract some of the members of the fairer sex to my hilarity, allow me introduce the new 'style' of my future comics. Enjoy!
Next week...
Men suck.
Indeed. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go tell my girlfriend we should 'just be friends', so I can date a more attractive person, guilt-free.

 

by Undaunted
8-04-03
Oh my God... You're still playing that game, Spencer?
What do you want? I'm busy slaying evil Daedric beasts...
You know, if you just keep playing that game, you're going to die at a young age. It's bad for you, not exercising, just staring at the computer...
You know what, that's funny, because I thought being addicted to opium was bad for you too...
Screw you, Spencer!
Yeah, I'm pretty sure being a skank is bad as well... I've heard the stories! I'm gonna change my last name!

 

by Undaunted
8-27-03
In My Secret Lair (The Basement)...
Spencer? Are you making bombs in there?
What? No Mom, of course not. I'm playing Armageddon, it's an online game!
You're plotting Armageddon!? Oh no, Bill O'Reily was right!
No, Mom! Armageddon, I've been playing Armageddon for the past year!
You've been plotting for a year? Sweet Jesus, you must almost be finished! I better call the police...
Great, so now I'm a terrorist... And my character was just eaten by a halfling.

 

by Undaunted
8-27-03
No, Mom, you don't get it... I'm playing a game called Armageddon! Playing, with a 'Y'!
...Oh. Well, in that case, take out the garbage!
Well... That's what I get for pointing out the glaringly obvious stupidity of others.
Bill O'Reily was right, roleplaying games are corrupting America's youth!
The rugged Kuraci says, OOC: "I have to go. The ignorant are banding together, and Bill O'Reily is leading them. Ready your cyanide pills, folks."

 

by Undaunted
9-08-03
Come on Spencer, let's go to the movies! I'll even pay.
W00t!
...Did you just say 'w00t'?
Oh, God, I did! Brittany, I need help!

 

by Undaunted
9-08-03
Spencer, I'm worried. You've been breaking out into random Internet speech all week now. In fact, I think you're getting worse!
Y0u'r3 juzt j3@10uz 0f my 133t h@xx0r ski11z!
Seriously, Spencer, it's starting to piss me off. You keep it up, and you'll never get any.
Y0u'r3 C@th01ic, wh3n did I 3v3r g3t @ny?
I mean you'll get even less.
I'll be good...

 

by Undaunted
9-08-03
Step 1: Present the robot with a logical paradox.
The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
Step 2: Enjoy the fireworks.
ERROR!
Step 3: Bask in all your robot-smashing glory.
I kick ass...

 

by Undaunted
9-08-03
You know, sometimes I worry all that's seperating me from official trailor trash status is a shotgun and a three legged dog named 'Speedy'.
Hey, don't feel too bad. The most commonly used phrase in my house is 'just jiggle the handle'.
Please, that's nothing. I have to turn my clothes dryer on with a pair of pliers.
Wow, you're right, you are a hick!
... Screw you, Zack.
Why don't you go join the Republican party and marry your momma, redneck? Heh.

Showing page 1.