All comics by Zamboro

 

by Zamboro
9-26-02
I know what you're thinking. . . .you're thinking "I wish someone would skull-fuck me!"
Actually no, that thought never entered my mind!
Well. . . .something is about to!!

 

by Zamboro
9-26-02
Did you hear? Microsoft's next console is the "Sex Box".
The "Sex Box"??
The focus group testing seems to suggest it'll be a flop
I dunno, it sounds pretty sweet to me
IT seems all the men complained that the hole was designed too big.
Not too big for MY raging girth.

 

by Zamboro
9-26-02
Crap, my girlfreind is mad at me and I don't know why!
girl.....friend?
Yeah. I was thinking I'd write her a poem, or serenade her, or buy her some sapphire earrings.
Yesss...that could work...
. . . .
OR you could do what I do, and drill a hole in a watermelon.

 

by Zamboro
9-29-02
You know what bugs me to this day? That old Tootsie Pop commercial. You know, where the kid asks how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
And then THE OWL EATS IT. What a fucking prick! The kid shoulda been all like "GOD DAMNIT OWL THAT WAS MY LAST FUCKING TOOTSIE POP!
The kid just asked a simple question, "How many licks does it take". He never said "Slather your filthy bird-tongue all over my precious candy", did he?
What has the world come to, that some asshat owl can steal your candy and eat it right in front of you??
Mister Turtle wasn't like that, though. He's cool with me. T-dogg is still my homeslice. But Professor Owl has got to go.
Come to think of it, I bet he wasn't even a real professor.

 

by Zamboro
9-30-02
The day I bought an XBox....
Honey, I can explain....
Sellout.
I know I said I'd never get one, but people change. No matter what you say, I'm keeping it.
Suit yourself. But if you keep it, I'll never touch 'it', period.
The XBox?
Think again.

 

by Zamboro
10-01-02
I love macaroni.....you know what the best thing about it is?
Yes, you can cook it, put it in an empty pringles tube then stick your cock in it, and it feels like a real pussy.
.........No.....I like it because it's delicious.
........Deliciously FUCKABLE?
Dammit, I'm so lonely......I was gonna cut off one end of the tube and let him share, too.

 

by Zamboro
10-01-02
Hi honey, how was your day?
It was awesome! There was free beer, random lesbians sex scenes, and Cornelius from the Planet of the Apes gave me a blowjob!
. . . . .
Then, just when I thought it couldn't get better, the Kool Aid Man burst through the wall and he was all like "OOHHHH YYEAAAHHH!!!" That guy is such a party animal! Good times, man, good times....
........Actually, come to think of it, that might have been a dream I had.

 

by Zamboro
10-02-02
Man, those Olsen Twins are hot. I wish I was 17 again so our freaky, nasty love wouldn't be forbidden.
Dude, back when you were 17, those girls weren't even born yet!
. . . .
They weren't even fetuses! They were various veggies and meats that their parents consumed and converted into sperm and eggs.
I'd hit that.

 

by Zamboro
10-02-02
I don't get it....today I was making out with Maura, and when things started to get steamy, I touched her boob. and she SLAPPED me!
Maybe she needed to be pushed. You know....down the stairs...?
The wierd part is, sometimes she lets me touch 'em, and sometimes she slaps me if I even try!
Hahahaha I just thought of something!
Really? What?
"Random Access Mammary"

 

by Zamboro
10-04-02
God I'm bored. There's nothing to do around here when Maura's at work.
Wanna play a game? It's called "Pickle-snap"
Pickle......snap...?
Yeah, you stick a pickle halfway up your ass, then flex your sphincter. If you do it right, it cuts the pickle in half.
......Someday, I'm going to warn my children about you.
Yeah, that would be wise.

 

by Zamboro
10-05-02
Butch imports a Japanese game
STUPID FUCKING JUMP-PUZZLE!! *Sigh*....Maybe if I read the instructions....
It look like you losing! Hint mode. . Activate!
If obstacle become evident that make murderous feeling arise, remember: happy-time game is not hard! It is super fun for always!
. . .
. . . . . . .If you strike me down now, I will become more powerful than you could ever imagine.

 

by Zamboro
10-05-02
. . .
Yeah I've played that game. It's easy. The reason you kept falling was because you didn't have the jump module.
Here, see? I beat it for you. Happy now?
"Secret ending is yours! You have won the day! Everybody doing dance of glee!!"
Kind of...I don't know if I want to kill you, or have your man-babies.
Well, we're already in your bedroom.

 

by Zamboro
10-07-02
I think what made the original Transformers cartoon so great was the sexual tension between Optimus Prime and Starscream
What the jiggery jesus are you talking about??
OH come on! Those two were always eyeing each other. Remember when Starscream said to Optimus "Come here so I can grab your energon cubes" then Optimus was like "Want to see my Mini-Con?"
HE NEVER SAID THAT!
Well yeah, maybe not in YOUR fantasy. . .
If I had a gun I would shoot you.

 

by Zamboro
11-06-02
Today, I went to work and gave a presentation that landed me a promotion!
That's great.
What did you do?
I fucked a "ham n' cheese Hot Pocket".
. . . . . . . .You win.
I know.

 

by Zamboro
11-13-02
So, I hear you got a job at the nursing home.
Yup. It sucks. This one old guy in a wheelchair kept taking dumps in his pants to get some attention.
Don't pretend you've never done that.
. . . . . . Even so, I was pissed off. So I wheeled him into a closet and locked the door.
. . .
I was like, "You can come out when you stop smelling bad."

 

by Zamboro
11-27-02
Wow....my first day off from work in two months.... There's alot of things I could do, but it comes down to a difficult decision
Should I do something constructive like washing my "love stains" off John's authentic reproduction of the Mona Lisa... Or should I slap my scrotum silly with a ping-pong paddle?
. . . . .Okay, so it's not a difficult decision.

 

by Zamboro
6-30-03
Ever see those commercials for Life Cereal with that kid who didn't like anything? You know, "Mikey"?
He really fucking pisses me off. He's so picky he only eats Life cereal! You know what's wrong with a kid who will only eat one kind of cereal?
Not enough spankings.
If Mikey were my kid, I'd beat him till his goddamn legs stopped working.
And once he healed up, he'd be so glad to eat solid foods again, I bet he wouldn't be nearly so picky.
And they say violence never solves anything.

 

by Zamboro
6-30-03
Butch reminisces...
One of my earliest memories is from Kindergarten. I started mid-year, so they trotted me up to the front to introduce me to the class.
I was so nervous. I was asked to tell my new classmates about my hobbies or talents.
All I could think to say was "my penis can do tricks !" . . . . . . they didn't take it too well. I think they were jealous.

 

by Zamboro
6-30-03
So I'm thinking real hard one day, pondering the nature of God...
...And did you come to any conclusions?
Yes. If I am "made in God's image", then God has a very small penis.
. . .
But on the plus side, it probably shoots lightning.

 

by Zamboro
6-30-03
Hey, let's say that a giant asteroid was about to destroy the planet. What would you do with your last few moments?
No question there. I'd lay flat on my back, and beat my cock like it owed me money.
Masturbation? Why? So that you could have one last great orgasm before you died?
Yeah, that's part of the reason. . . .
. . .
But also, if I blew my load hard enough, it might deflect the asteroid.

 

by Zamboro
7-12-03
I've been wondering. . . . .can midgets give birth?
Uhhh. . . .I don't think so.
I figured the baby would just grow so large, it would rip it's way out of the mother and slowly grow into her clothing, taking her place without anyone noticing.
. . . .
. . .But seriously, wouldn't that be cool?
You've done something terrible, haven't you. . . .

 

by Zamboro
7-12-03
((Butch192)): I'm having a great time chatting with you ;) I was thinking we could spice it up a little with some...naughty pictures. ;-D
. . .
((MauraBabe)): I don't know. . . .It sounds like fun, but I'll only do it if you send a really good one of yourself first, to be fair. ;)
[[Image recieved]] "ButchWang.jpg" file size = 1kb

 

by Zamboro
7-15-03
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Blah blah blah blah.
. . . .
[PENIS JOKE]
AHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

by Zamboro
7-15-03
Butch, I need to talk to you about my Mona Lisa.
I swear to god I found it that way.
Don't play stupid. That painting was worth several thousand dollars, and you ruined it.
Ruined? I think she looks better with a mustache.
YOU EJACULATED ON A TEN THOUSAND DOLLAR PAINTING!!
I was gonna write "got milk", but I ran out of semen.

 

by Zamboro
7-19-03
Hey sweetie. I had a dream about you last night.
Really? You have to tell me everything about it!
Well, I dreampt you peeled your face off, and underneath you were actually Pierce Brosnan.
Wow, what a wierd nightmare!
nightmare?

 

by Zamboro
7-25-03
Hello readers. Normally it is against my principles to make my comics educational in any way, but I feel that I must speak out cpncerning the situation with the RIAA.
The RIAA says they are cracking down on filesharers, and calls them "terrorists".
However a recent lawsuit decimated the entire life savings of a struggling college student, and now the RIAA has declared war on the parents and grandparents of filesharers as well.
Do these people sound like terrorists to you? No, but using the threat of a life-ruining lawsuit to terrify the populace into obedience....that sure sounds like terrorism to me.
Is filesharing wrong? Oh, sure. But it's nowhere near as wrong as intentionally creating fear and terror to protect your bloated, rich white ass, or as wrong as suing decent people into the poorhouse
With the preponderance of hackers these days, I can only expect that the RIAA will get the virtual raping it so rightly deserves. All I can say is, "Suck a dog's danglies, RIAA". That is all.

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