All comics by snouty_desmond

Profile

 

by snouty_desmond
1-16-03
Hey there! I've been wondering, just why do they call you Snouty Desmond?
Well, it's on account of my massive nose.
But you don't even have a nose.
Look, I know you're trying to make me feel better, but it's not working.
Seriously, man. You don't have a nose. Or any pupils. And your hands are like some kind of claw. What the fuck kind of freak are you?
Sob!

 

by snouty_desmond
1-16-03
Why, if it isn't Snouty Desmond? How are you?
Wow! Suzie Klapowski! I've always had a massive crush on you. Do you want to go on a date sometime?
Huh? Oh, I can't Desmond. It's your nose. I find it... disturbing.
What? It's because it's so big, isn't it? Well, look Suzie, don't judge me on my massive nose. I'm a swell guy, really, truly I am.
Massive nose? But you don't even have a nose, and come to think of it, your pupils are missing as well. Are you some kind of zombie?
Sob!

 

by snouty_desmond
1-16-03
Who's in there? Why are the lights switched off?
It's me, Snouty Desmond. My massive nose is blocking the light from the window.
Don't be daft, I'll just turn the light on and OH MY GOD! You don't have any eyes! Or a nose! You hideous freak!
Sob!

 

by snouty_desmond
1-16-03
Hi there, Snouty Desmond! What can I get you?
I've got a bit of a cold, Dr Herpes, so could I have a box of handkerchiefs, please? Better make it a large box, on account of my massive nose.
What, handkerchiefs? What are you going to do with them? You don't appear to actually HAVE a nose!
Don't patronize me, doctor. Just give me the damn hankies.
Seriously, what would happen if you sneezed? Would your head explode? Can I do a research paper on you?
Sob!

 

by snouty_desmond
1-16-03
Well, that was a good tennis session, Snouty Desmond. I'd better head now, smell you later!
What did you say? Are you taking the piss out of my massive nose? It's not like I haven't heard all these jokes before.
Massive nose? You haven't even got one!
What? You stupid fat fuck. Don't make excuses. I've seen you staring at my huge nose. It makes me very insecure. Stop it.
The only reason I hang about with you is your freakish looks distract everyone from my fatness.
Sob!

 

by snouty_desmond
1-16-03
Hi there, Snouty Desmond. What can I do for you?
I was thinking. If I sell my soul to you, could you make my nose smaller?
Smaller? You mean bigger, surely?
Why would I want my massive nose to be any bigger? And here I was offering you my soul, you ungrateful prick. The deal's off.
Yeah, well I don't want the souls of noseless freaks like you, anyway! Piss off!
Sob!

 

by snouty_desmond
8-22-03
Hi, Snouty Desmond! What can I do for you?
I was wondering if I could use your computer? I was wanting to look at rhinoplasty websites.
Good idea! You going to get yourself a prosthetic nose?
Why would I want a prosthetic nose? I'd never fit it over my gigantic real one. Sitting in front of that computer all day must have fried your brain.
Well maybe you could shove it up your ass, you noseless freak! Now get out my house.
Sob!

 

by snouty_desmond
3-08-04
Ah! If it isn't Snouty Desmond. What can I do for you, my child?
Well, Jesus, I was wondering if you could do something about my nose. I've been praying every night.
You mean you'd like me to give you a nose?
What? I thought you were supposed to be a good guy! It's bad enough me having such a massive nose without you turning me into some kind of two-nosed weirdo!
Hey- fuck you, noseless freak! I don't want you in my religion. Why don't you fuck off and join the Buddhists or something? My religion is only for people with noses.
Sob!

Showing page 1.