All comics by CAPTAINTHEAWESOME

 

Set in a bedroom, for some reason...
Hey look. I am a evil butcher knife wielder/unsuspectable shy nice guy.
Hey look, I am a little girl who appears innocent but is really a slut.
The meat of the movie...
All right. Here comes the knife. I only wish I had done something original to kill her. You know, the whole mask thing and butcher knife has been done before. A lot.
Here comes the my hidden inner slut. Gratuitous horror movie nudity will be here any second.
Ah yes...the surprise ending...
That's my arm right there. Somehow I managed to die with no apparent reasoning for it...Look at the blood!
Look, I killed someone. And I don't even know how I did it. Much less the screenplay writers.

 

Little did Nathan know, he was in for the trickery of his life
I BE NATHAN. I BE GO TO QUICK BITE, EH?
I'm Beek. I like biting quickly. I will accompany, eh?
I BE SING SONGS OF PATRIOTIC NATURE, EH?
But the flag in the background is gone! Now it appears that I am in a trash can under the sea.
What a crazy day!
I LOOK OUT WINDOW. SEE NOT BEEK, I.

 

I'm afraid I'm going to have to apprehend you, Katelyn
Why? For What? What did I do?
You're under arrest for stealing my heart.
Wait. What the hell is going on here?
Moments aftair Katelyn slaps me...
Does that ever work?
No, no it doesn't And now, if you'll excuse me...I'm going to cry myself to sleep. Good day.

 

Once again, Nathan and Manuel are trapped on a remote moon, with only enough room to hold one of their mojos.
HA. I kill with ninja Manny-fu.
You die several. Muahahahaha.
They fight to a stalemate, as the moon loses stability, overflowing with mojo.
Dammit. How are you so robotic?!?!?!?
What the hell? Why are you such a ninja?!?!?!?
They're brought startlingly back to reality as Nicole asks "What are you morons doing?"
SH-SHAW!
ZZZZZT. ZZZZZT.

 

Hey guess what? 10 years ago today Kurt Cobain took his own life.
Tell me something I hadn't already heard 36 times today.
Shut up! This is an emotional experience for me.
That's what you said about being trapped in a dumpster for 3 days and being forced to eat your own underpants as food.
Did you have to bring that up? I've already talked to my psychiatrist about that and I've put it all behind me.
...Remember when we found you? Curled up in a fetal position while sucking your thumb on top of a pile of chicken wings coated with your own vomit? Now THAT was an emotional experience.

 

Hey look, I'm Carlton, and I want a character on STRIPCREATOR. The best darn comic thingie around!
Shut up, Ass-clown, no one asked you.
Yes that is correct. I am an ass AND a clown!!! A pink ass, to be exact
Wow. You managed to foil me and look incredibly stupid at the same time.
That's my specialty.
Oh boy...

 

Guys, it's Julie's birthday, and I really think we should do something meaningful for her. Ya know, give her a bowling ball or take her to a strip club or something. What do you think, Boris?
I think that's an EXCELLENT IDEA!
What do you think, Manuel?
Oh, I already know what I'm getting her, it's gonna be the best gift ever...
It's gonna be a Polish prostitute.
WHAT!?!?!? You're getting her Tommy?!?!

 

In a random dark-ish alley somewhere...
Hey Peris. I have a problem that I want to talk to you about.
Yeah. Sure.
...Nathan poors out his heart to Peris.
See I can't think of a funny comic and I dunno, maybe I'm losing my touch.
No, you're just going through a dry spell. Remember, the flower that blooms late is the most beautiful of them all.
Disney movies...will they ever do us wrong?
Wow. That really helps. How did you think of such inspirational words?
Technically, I didn't actually think of it myself...I got it from Mulan.

 

Sit back children, and I'll tell you a tale of lore...
In a time, when most people were 50 percent body fat, Nicole was only 25.
In a time when most people were 4 foot 6, Nicole was nearly 5 feet
In a time when most people were so light-skinned, the sun shone right through them...Nicole had the tiniest bit of tone to her skin.
Ahh Nicole...
She's the perfect combination of easy-ness to make fun of and inability to beat me up.

 

Manuel, not to be outdone, forced himself into (unnatural?) idiocy.
I'm sexist against Asians
That's not nice. Besides, Nicole's technically an Asian.
Never mind. Manuel's idiocy was right on target.
No No No. I was talking about women!
Well, you know sexists are just guys who try to make up for their abnormally small penises by rubbing it in the face of those who have none.
Ah...
Damn.

 

Listen guys. We might look just like Nathan and Manuel, and be perfect representations of the way they act...
...But in truth we're nothing more than just cartoon characters from certain online comics designed to look and act just like them. I'm "wigroger1-2" of "whenigrowup" comic strip
And I'm "trenchcoat-1-r" from "kaddar" comics
It's important to remember that despite resemblances, we are not actually Nathan and Manuel, as many of you probably believed.
It's also important to remember that I'm big in the pants.
. . . Shut the hell up.

 

Manuel enjoys pointing at exciting things with his imaginary gun...
Look! A bird!
...And then coming to tell me about it.
I saw a bird!
Of course you did. Just keep telling yourself that and it's bound to come true. In the meantime, there's special doctors for special people like you.
Ever get the feeling that every time you talk to someone, some portion of your brain cells gets killed and never ever ever comes back?
No, man, I swear. I don't see things that aren't there, I see things that ARE there! Look, there it is again!
You make me tired and ashamed.

 

Hey Peris, you know how I said that one time that life would be so much better if there were more explosions?
Yes, I do happen to remember your constant pummeling of me with that alleged fact.
Whatever. Check out the background! It's more explosions!
Hmm. So what does that make you now, Pyro-Super-Explosio-Nathan?
Actually, I prefer to think of myself as Sylvester Stallone in "Demolition Man"
Of course you do...

 

My left finger hurts.
No pain, no gain... You may think that that response doesn't make sense, but you'll understand after I tell you that I am only talking in adages or popular catchy movie quotes.
I see. Well what do you have to say to this: Sometimes, when I laugh, I pee a little.
You filthy poopy stupid-brained garbage head fatso!
I see...what movie was that?
I made that one up...Catchy, isn't it?

 

Hey! I've got a great idea! I'll make another comic on Stripcreator!
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

 

On the "moon"
So...I hear you're making comics again.
That's a lie and you know it!
Yeah, that's right---I said the "moon!"
No, man, I SAW your new comic. Don't be telling me about no lying.
OHHH....THAT. I don't like to think of that as a comic...more as a laugh machine made superfunny by alien technology.
All right, fine, it's just the set of Apollo 13.
Ummm...That very well may be the dumbest thing I have ever heard.
Dumbest thing you've ever heard......smartest thing I've ever said-it all becomes the same after a while.

 

Nathan and Manuel proudly face the world of evil in the unstoppable crime fighting duo of...ROBO-NATHAN AND SENSAI MANUEL!
Nathan's sexiness is only surpassed by his narcissism, and Manuel's Mexican-ness is only surpassed by his baldness!
We would totally suck as a crime-fighting duo.
Yeah...but I think we both know what would make us not suck...
CAPES!
CAPES!

 

I am great. So very great. Music music music. Music music music.
He is great. So very great. I am singing. Because he is great.
?
Where is that beautiful music coming from? And why does my face appear twice in this panel?
Well, your face appears twice in the last panel because CAPTAINTHEAWESOME did a sloppy job on this comic. And the beautiful music is coming from me! Because you're obviously great!
So it is a merry Christmas after all!

 

0110001111100010101001000 0110001101010010100101101 0101011011111101101010110 1001011100100110100111011 0001011010001111001010010 1110010110110101000101101 1101011110100000110110101
?
0001100101110100100010101 1001011010010001110110110 11100101101011010111010100 0010101110111011001010100 10100101011101101110101111 0101011101010110011011010 11010001010110010111010110
!
Nicole...Nathan's stuck in binary code again.
OK, don't panic. You get the monkey wrench and I'll grab the funnel.

 

Nicole's straightened her life up and is no longer a crackwhore...
So, Manuel's new comic. Disappointing, to say the least.
I concur.
The most it got was a chortle. A chortle and a head shaken in a condescending manner.
He reached deep into a drawer that was clearly labeled "mediocre," and taught the world a thing or two about sucking.
He found the hole that looked disturbingly like a sheep's rectum and decided that sticking his finger in was a good idea.
OK. That was too far. Are we even talking about the same thing anymore?

 

Once Upon a Time in China. Once Upon a Time in Mexico. What do they have in common besides bad acting and inconsequential action scenes? The name! Now, introducing the newest "Once Upon..." movie...
Destined to be the greatest of all, introducing...ONCE UPON A TIME IN CANADIA! Starring the most famous Candadian acting talents of all time...Michael J. Fox...
...and...Natasha Henstridge? Seriously? Natasha Henstridge? Is that the best Canada can do? First, Sum 41, and now Natasha Henstridge. Wow. They suck, eh?

 

So...Nathan...
Yeah, what's up?
Are you a government spy?
Oh. Yeah, I am.
Wait...Really?
Uh huh.

 

Umm...I really wasn't expecting that answer.
Yeah...So...Is it just me, or is it kinda cold today?
No. It's 90 degrees outside.
Yeah. I guess so.

 

This is kind of awk...
Yeah.
So...I have to go, um, package some vegetables.
...Oh. Right. Yeah. Me too.

 

Uh...bye.
Yeah, I'll, uh, see you later.
So Nathan's a government spy. That's so cool!
Great. Now I have to kill him.

 

Haha. I'm not fat!
Um, Nicole, we've been over this. Yes you are.
Nuh uh. Scientific evidence suggests that my weight caste is 'ideal'
No it doesn't.
Yes it does, I call, times infinity.
Blast!

 

I found a peanut!
So what? Peanuts are not only stupid, but also the leading cause of death of those who are allergic to peanuts and then eat them.
Whatever, man, if you're not going to be supportive of me, I think that I should just leave.
Fine!
Hours later...
Manuel, what are you doing in the dumpster?
Looking for peanuts.

 

Um, Nathan. If you brought me here for another one of your get-rich quick schemes, don't even bother.
No, no, no. I promise you, this one's gold! OK, we buy real estate on the moon for dirt cheap, then auction it off to the highest bidder! We'll be millionaires!
Nathan, I'm going to be completely honest with you. That's just about the worst idea you've ever come up with.
Are you kidding me? My ideas are invariably so innovative and genius that the world isn't even ready for them!
What about the time that you tried to solve the energy crisis with Rubiks Cubes? Or the time you tried to start a plantain farm in Saudi Arabia? Or your idea to turn the Eiffel Tower into a spaceship?
OK, for the record, I got the plantain farm idea out of Outdoor Living, and if I had known what plantains were at the time, I never would have done that.

 

Hey Nathan. What's going on?
Yo, Manuel, remember when I said that Nicole was the perfect combination of easiness to make fun of and inability to beat me up?
by CAPTAINTHEAWESOME, 3-16-06

 

Hey Nathan. What's up?
Yo, Manuel. Remember when I said that Nicole was the perfect combination of easiness to make fun of and inability to beat me up?
Vaguel. Why? What about it?
Well, I take it back. While Nicole is both easy to make fun of and unable to beat me, I've decided that description is much more appropriately applied to Canada.
I don't think that's completely fair, Nathan. After all, Canada's not that bad. Plus, who doesn't like free healthcare, eh?
Quiet, Keanu Reeves. Your mannerisms are annoying and your acting is uninspired

 

Hey Manuel. Guess what.
What did you do this time?
I ate a poison mushroom.
Oh. About that...

Showing page 1.