All comics by Cletus_The_Hillbilly

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I have come for your SOUL!!!
Hey look! Isn't that Keith Richards behind you?!
Where?! I've trying to get that stoned bastard for years!
Gotta go!
Damnit. I hate it when they do that.

 

ALL WE DO IN HELL IS PLAY DDR!
I MAY BE DEAD, BUT I CAN STILL DANCE!!!
FOR GOD'S SAKE MAKE IT STOP!!!
I WILL DANCE WITHOUT PANTS!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! I CAN'T GET THE IMAGES OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!
WAIT!! I NEVER HAD PANTS TO BEGIN WITH!! HA HA!!
Ahhhh... That's better.

 

YOU WILL NEVER STOP ME FROM DANCING!!!
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
MY LUNGS!!
ow.
That's better

 

And now, a message from our author.
Since I have no corporeal form in this comic, the puppet shall serve as my avatar.
psst! Author!
What is it?
They can see your hand.
Aw crap.

 

Since the puppet was a complete failure, I have chosen a new form.
It is functional, and it won't cause your head to explode by looking at it.
I hope.

 

Let me get this straight. You excpect me to believe that you're the author of the comic?
Yep.
I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.
Do either and I'll incinerate you.

 

Today on "The Author Hunter"
Look here mates! We've found the elusive author.
I know you're behind me. I'm writing the damn comic, remember? Now I'l have to ask you to leave.
Look at him try and communicate! They're a very intelligent species, they are.
Didn't I just tell you to go away?
They're barely on the same level as the simpler primates though.
You're an asshole, you know that?

 

HEY ROGER! GET THE NET OVER HERE!!
I wouldn't advise that.
Why not?
Because I'm the author. That's why.
What're you gonna do, erase me?
I had something much worse planned.

 

Such as?
I think burning would be fitting.
AAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
Don't you?
I hate you.
I don't care.

 

Now, another message from the author.
It has come to my attention that I have not introduced the characters. As such, the next few comics will serve to correct this.
Some of you may not be agreeable with this. To these people I say...
PISS OFF!!

 

This is Melvin.
Yo.
Melvin is one of the main characters, aside from me.
I'm the only freaking character aside from you.
Quiet, you.
WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME?!

 

This here is Bob the ninja. He's not going to be a part of the comic for a while, but I figured, he's a ninja! Ninjas make everything cool!
If I'm not even a part of the comic yet, then why the hell am I even here?!
'Cause I'm the author that's why.
I really don't like you.

 

This is Jim. He is, of course, an alien.
No shit, Captain Obvious.
As you can see, he's also a rude little bastard.
I'd kill you, but you'd set me on fire.
At least someone's learning around here.
Says who?

 

I'm Captain Obvious.

 
Can I kill him please?
Sure, knock yourself out.

 

Well, that sucked.
Maybe I should continue with the introductions.
Nahhhh. I'd rather get wasted.

 

Well, I've written 16 comics so far.
Yay.
I am so wasted right now.
Biggest. Understatement. Ever.

 

Welp, I'm happy to say that school's almost done for me.
I have about a week left until my final exams.
Really big, important ministry governed exams.
Ones that'll probably determine whether I pass or fail the year.
.........
Meh.

 

Since my exams are just about over, I figured it called for some sort of celebration.
Did someone say "celebration"? I got just what you need, if you know what I mean...
How the hell did you get in here?!
Oh, I have my connections...
It doesn't matter anyway. I'll have to ask you to leave, or you'll find that I have "connections" of my own
How's that?

 

I'll ask you one more time to leave, then I'll have to take matters into my own hands.
Oooooh, I'm so scared.
When will they learn?
P O O F !
Welcome to the Happy Place!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!

 

You can't run in The Happy Place!
Watch me jackass!
AHAHAHA!! He'll never catch me!
What the shit?!

 

Well, so much for that guy.
AAAAAAAAGGH!!!!
Everything wrapped up quite nicely.
EEYYAAAAAAAAAHH!!
Ahh, the screams of the damned. Music to my ears.
AAAAAAAAAAAA- Hey, a penny!

 

The author hsa asked me to answer his some of his fan mail. When asked why, he responded "Cause I don't think my stomach could take it."
This first letter is from Johnny, in Pennsylvania."Dear Cletus_The_Hillbilly
Excuse me while I gauge out my eyes. Thanks a lot, you sick fuck.

 

Today, we'll read some fanmail from someone who isn't a complete perert.
Hard to imagine, we know.
Billy writes: "dear mr author guy you comic is teh gretest in teh wurld omfg it is teh roxxors!1!!!!!"
Awww, isn't that sweet? I think he deserves some fan appreciation!
Get my gun.
Waaay ahead of you.

 

Here's another letter for the author.
You might want to leave him alone for a while. Last time I checked, he was scrawling satanic messages about pudding on his walls.
Oh, nonsense. He's just messing around with us.
Fine, don't believe me. But I'm not picking up your organs this time.
Several minutes later.....
Don't say a fucking word.

 

Hey author! We've actually got a letter from someone who isn't braindead!
Really? Let's hear it.
Jimmy writes: "Dear Author, why is it that you like to torture Melvin so much?"
Oh, it's quite simple really. It's funny as hell. Watch.
P O O F !
I fucking hate you. I hope you know that.
There's also nothing you can do about it.

 

Since Melvin is currently recieving therapy to recover from his time as a cow, we picked names from a hat to see who'd be up today.
Or at least, that's what they told me. It'll probably be a while until things are back to normal.
MY GENITALIA WILL REMAIN SOLIDLY ATTACHED!!!!
.....
Then again....
YAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

 
What the fuck was that?!

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