All comics by thochaos

Profile

 

by thochaos
9-30-03
Gabe helps his crazy uncle out with yet another experiment...
So why did I have to be unconscious for this one? And why the hell does my ass itch?!
That's simple my dear boy.
I was trying out a new creation - "The Poison Ivy Condom"
Great. Well I'll just be over here drinking this beaker of acid...
Ooh ooh, drink the blue stuff, I've always wondered what that tastes like!

 

by thochaos
9-30-03
Little Susie starts to doubt her faith...
You know Jesus, lately I've been doubting that you actually exist.
You can't mean that! Hello... water into wine? That was me!
Oh come on! It's all a little fishy, admit it.
Oh yeah? Well I don't think YOU really exist so there!!
I love doing that.

 

by thochaos
9-30-03
Last night my wife had a baby!
8 pounds, 7 ounces!
She said it was delicious!

 

by thochaos
9-30-03
Using Stripcreator as a way to pass time is fine, but it would be better if you actually had something funny to say...
That's where we come in!
That's right! What could be funnier than two asian girls speaking in broken english!
Except our english is fine.
And we don't really have anything funny to say after all.
And so ends another humourless episode of "Thochaos Presents!" Tune in next time when Asian Girl 1 says:
ME SO HORNY!!!
That's all folks!

 

by thochaos
9-30-03
Boy, this is boring.
I know! I'll use my holy magic to create some entertainment!
Oh yeah, Jesus is my man! He rocks harder than anyone can! I love Jesus, yes I do! I love Jesus, He loves me too!
I died for your sins and this is the thanks I get?

 

by thochaos
10-02-03
Lately, I've been worrying a lot about the current state of the world.
Terrorism, war, pollution, disease, famine, baby-eating, gangs, cults, reality TV... It's almost too much to bear!
Although, I should probably be more worried about the fact that my dick dropped off in the shower this morning.

 

by thochaos
10-02-03
Dave, I am the Grim Reaper! I am here to collect your soul!
Oh shit! So I'm dead?
Yes! You were hit by a car as you crossed the road.
So what kind of car was it? A Porsche? Ferrari?
What the hell does that matter?
It had to have been something cool, right? If you say it was a Yaris, I will kick your ass.

 

by thochaos
10-02-03
So this is Hell, huh?
Yes! Here your damned soul will burn in eternal torment! Uh, wait a minute...
Is something wrong?
As a matter of fact, yes. It seems that you don't actually have a soul. Tell me, what was your profession in life?
I worked for Microsoft.
Ah, of course.

 

by thochaos
10-02-03
Some cold weather we're having, huh?
It sure is.
...
...
New hat?
What, this old thing?

 

by thochaos
10-02-03
I think I'm starting to get the hang of these comics.
First, you gotta set it all up, build up the joke, then finish off with a snappy punchline.

 

by thochaos
10-02-03
Hey, Santa! Long time no see!
Why hello there Frosty! You're right, it has been a long time!
I've been busy making toys for all the good little boys and girls from all over the world! Then last night I delivered them all! It was very hard work! Ho ho ho!
No, I mean long time no see. My eyes are stones you fucking idiot.
Oh.

 

by thochaos
10-02-03
Hey you dick! You stole wearing your cap backwards from me! I'll kick your ass!
Oh yeah? Well you just bring it on!
...
...
My dad can beat up your dad!
Can not!

 

by thochaos
10-02-03
Well here we are at the Whitehouse!
...
See? I keep my promises!
sob sob sob
What's the matter?
When you said if I did your homework you'd show me bush, this is NOT what I had in mind!

 

by thochaos
10-02-03
Boo hoo hoo!
Geez! I thought if I had sex with you, you'd quit crying!
Waaaaaaah!
What the hell is wrong now!?
You didn't tell me you were a guy!
You didn't ask!

 

by thochaos
10-03-03

 

by thochaos
10-03-03
So how the hell are we gonna get home? I don't know how to pilot the damn ship and you sure as hell can't do it!
Wait... Maybe this is some kind of super-genius chimp. That has to be it! Right? Right?!?
...
Ook ook!
That's it, I'm screwed.

 

by thochaos
10-03-03
Oh man oh man oh man! What am I going to do? I'm stuck on the surface of the moon with no way home.
What the?! The ship? It's leaving without me! COME BACK!!!
Who's retarded now, asshole?

 

by thochaos
10-03-03
I can't believe that the ship left without me! Now I have no food, no shelter, no nothing!
Still, I guess it could be worse.
At least I haven't been anal-probed by any weird aliens...

 

by thochaos
10-03-03
I'm leaving you. You never pay me any attention, you never ask me how my day is. You never even talk to me! I think you love that computer more than you love me!
No, that's not true at all! I really love you!
Really? Sometimes I find that so hard to believe.
Let's talk about this. You're far more important to me than this computer! There is nothing in this world that means mo- OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! FUCKING CAMPER!! *Ahem* Now as I was saying...
... Hello?

 

by thochaos
10-03-03
Last night, me and my girlfriend were getting intimate for the first time. But as I finished undressing, she took one look at me and ran screaming into the night.
I was devastated.
Still, it made a nice change from the usual pointing and laughing.

 

by thochaos
10-05-03
So what are you wearing?
Depends.
On what?
No, "Depends". I've gotten a little incontinent in my old age.

 

by thochaos
10-05-03
"... and then she says, that wasn't my gerbil!" Ha ha ha ha!
Hey, why is nobody laughing?
Because I write all your jokes.
Fuck.

 

by thochaos
10-05-03
You know how sometimes you're doing something physical and you end up pulling a muscle? That happened to me this morning.
I saw my doctor but he said I'd be fine.
He also said that, strictly speaking, the penis isn't a muscle.

 

by thochaos
10-05-03
So doc, what's the verdict?
Well, as far as I can tell you are a very healthy young man. Almost perfect in fact. Such a strong, firm, young body...
Uh, so can I put my clothes back on now?
No.

 

by thochaos
10-05-03
So baby, how about you and I play a quick game of "hide the salami"?
That's sick dude! I'm only 13!
That's cool babe. I'm old enough for the both of us.
Um ok then, wait here a minute...
Fuck.

 

by thochaos
10-05-03
I'm in trouble now. I tried to have sex with a 13 year old girl and she told the cops!
Please let me out! I'm really sorry for what I did! I mean it. I'm a changed man!
Besides, I don't like the way that this priest is looking at me.

 

by thochaos
10-05-03
Hello my son.
Uh, hi father. Why are you in here?
I put on a puppet show for the children at my church.
A puppet show? That doesn't sound so bad? What was it about?
Some questions are better left unanswered.
Hi! I'm Pablo the friendly mushroom-headed snake! Give me a hug! Go on, squeeze as hard as you want!
GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!

 

by thochaos
10-05-03
HOLY SHIT!!! An alien! And he's trying to anal-probe me!
Huh? This? No, this is just how we say hello on the moon.
Really? That's a relief. Hey! You're speaking telepathically!
Of course. That's how me communicate on the moon.
That's so cool! But why are you saying hello again?
Hello? No I was just about to ana- I mean yes! Hello! Welcome to the moon!

 

by thochaos
10-05-03
So anyway, after landing here on the moon, the spacecraft I arrrived in left without me and now I'm stranded!
That's terrible! You must be in need of nourishment and rest after your ordeal. Follow me.
So where is it you're taking me?
It's an ancient spiritual place for my people. You'll feel at ease there.
Not long after...
Starbucks?!?!
You've been here before?

 

by thochaos
10-05-03
Damn bitch! Yo' ass be fine! I'm invitin' you to join my stable o' fine white women!
But I'm only 13!
Fuck dat shit, bitch. I can sell any ass, any age, any time.
Really? Hey did you catch all of that Officer?
Oh look! A new friend! Give Pablo a big hug!
Fuck.

 

by thochaos
10-05-03
Welcome to Heaven!
Jesus? Heaven? Then... I'm dead!? But I can't be, I'm still a virgin!
Hahahahaha! You big loser!
Why are you laughing at me Jesus?
Even I got nailed before I died!
Boo hoo hoooo

 

by thochaos
10-05-03
Witness now a typical day in the life of an not so ordinary guy. Who is this paragon of masculine sexiness? Me of course =)
Hey babe. I know you want me. Let's cut the crap and get down to some full-on freaky sex.
Piss off. I would never have sex with a guy like you.
I knew you would say that! You're just worried that if you let your guard down around me, my innate sexual charm will have you at my mercy!
Yeah that must be it.
Later that night.
Oh Adam! You rocked my world! I never knew it could be like that!
Are you kidding? You ain't seen nothing yet. This time we'll do it... WITH OUR CLOTHES OFF!

 

by thochaos
10-07-03
I finally made it!
All my life I wanted to be an astronaut and follow in the footsteps of great men like Armstrong and Aldrin and today, finally, here I am!
Of course, had I known that the pilot was replaced with a retarded chimp, I probably would have stayed in bed this morning.

 

by thochaos
10-08-03
I've been sitting here for a couple of days trying to think up ideas for at least 1 new strip. The best I could do was remake an older one.
I guess I should call it quits then. After all, there has been something I've been meaning to do for a while now.
And what could be so important? Of course it's-
PORN!!! Oh how I've missed you!

 

by thochaos
10-09-03
For the last time, no I will not go out with you!
Why the hell not?
Your nuts!
No I'm not!
No, your fly's undone and I can see your balls.
Oh.

 

by thochaos
10-10-03
Hey there beautiful, how about I buy you a drink?
Do you know your balls are hanging out?
Of course. It's all part of my new "Shock & Awe" pick-up strategy.
So the sight of your shrivelled up nutsack is supposed to help you get laid?
Yeah... Don't you want to jump me, right here, right now?
No, but I have a sudden craving for dried apricots...

 

by thochaos
10-10-03
What the hell is this white powder on the table? Holy crap! If this is what I think it is...! Who the fuck brought this in to the house?!
Hey, don't look at me! Are you sure it's not just some icing sugar or something? You better be sure before you start accusing people.
You're right. Maybe I'm freaking out over nothing.
Yeah, just taste some and then we'll know.
Fuck.

 

by thochaos
10-10-03
Dude, this party is going off! Hey who was that girl you came with?
Her? She's my sister!
You came to a party with your sister? Man that's lame!
Nah it's all good.
How so?
At least this way I know I'm gonna get laid!

 

by thochaos
10-10-03
So the other day I was at the mall and all of a sudden I got this urgent need to take a leak! But there was a line of guys waiting. I was gonna piss myself, let me tell ya!
Then I thought about pissing in the sink! But there was a line there too! So I just pissed on the guy in front of me.
Turns out he was a German porno director and he was used to it. So I shit on his head.

 

by thochaos
10-12-03
I tried to buy some camouflage pants today, but I couldn't find any.
At least I know they work.

 

by thochaos
10-12-03
A stray cat! I will pet it.
One pat later...
Ah! I am in fact a fairy. And since you have rubbed me, I shall give you one wish!
Man I hope this is just those brownies kicking in...
Sir? Sir! If you aren't going to order, please get the McFuck out!

 

by thochaos
10-12-03
Hey
Wanna go see a movie this weekend?
Can't. I'm trying to impress these dorks on the Internet with my awesome comic strip skills.

 

by thochaos
10-12-03
Hello and welcome to Spanky's Hamburgers!
Hi. I'd like a burger.
Really? And you came here? We don't sell burgers.
What are all those things I see behind you there then?
Well, there is no fooling you, is there sir! Congratulations!
No seriously, what are they?

 

by thochaos
10-12-03
Ok sir, those are burgers behind me. Hamburgers, cheeseburgers, chickenburgers, fishburgers. You name it, it's probably there.
Then why did you say you didn't sell any?
Because I hate this job and I also hate you.
How dare you! I demand to speak to the manager!
Certainly... And how may I help you sir?

 

by thochaos
10-12-03
So you wish to lay a complaint?
Yes! The service here is shit! And you treat me like garbage!
And how is that my problem?
WHAT!? You stupid asshole! Haven't you ever heard "the customer is always right?"
Does that answer your question?
Yes, thank you for your time.

 

by thochaos
10-12-03
Time to kill this crap series off
...
I'm gonna die! Die Die DIIIEEEEE!
Here comes the knife!
And then Butch ended his own miserable little life. THE END.
I feel so cheated!

 

by thochaos
10-12-03
Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!
I know you can't.
How come?
I've cut off your arms.

 

by thochaos
10-12-03
Now what seems to be the problem?
Uh...well... I have three penises.
Incredible! How do your pants fit?
Like a glove.

 

by thochaos
10-12-03
Geez Doc, I got another problem.
What symptons do you have?
I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'
That sounds like "Tom Jones Syndrome".
Is it common?
It's not unusual.

 

by thochaos
10-12-03
How can I help you sir?
I'd like one of your Chicken Pizziola subs please.
Certainly sir. And how long would you like it?
Well I'd like to keep it.

Showing page 1.

Next »