I'm just trying to offend you. I figure the best way to offend you is to make fun of you.

I don't want to make you sad. You're my hero.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

CC 238: Barf? by OMG_DaGmAr_6481987 3-31-04

This is how it is in America: Women shave their legs because guys wouldn't do them otherwise. If guys shave their legs, women don't do them. Aww dang...brb. I gotta go put something on this rash on my legs.

CC 238: It will remove all of your back hair! by OMG_DaGmAr_6481987 3-31-04

Ryan, I can't find my mini razor. Dang. You mean that WASN'T a vibrator?

CC 238: Another real life convo you don't want to have by OMG_DaGmAr_6481987 3-31-04

Ryan, if I were a sin, what would I be? Lust. ...why lust? Because I wanted to have sex with you. Is that all? ...well...

CC 238: I had to do it. by OMG_DaGmAr_6481987 3-31-04

The red headed dude is a 15 year old 8th grader. Hey Dags, will you go out with me? No. I am a 16 year old junior. Ok. The next day... You know, I had a dream about you last night. What do you think of kids? Goats aren't really my thing. Why don't you tell that cowboy over there what the fuck you're talking about?

Is it just me or does no-one elst think they can possibly come up with a comic to offend Boinky?

Machine gun weilding Kangaroo does standup by boinky33 6-29-02

So,the other day I'm fucking the shit out of this girl!.......... And she screams out some other guy's name during orgasm!..... So,then I said....Who the hell is "Please,don't rape me?" HA!HA!HA!HA!

Maybe we're approaching it from the wrong angle, perhaps a twee predictable comic would offend him most?
But I don't have the balls to fuck up my good run of strips, or to steal one from Brad.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

I am not sure how to offend boinky either. I figured the only way to offend him would be to make fun of him. I don't know what else to do.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

You don't have to offend ME personally!

Well, I DID have to offend you personally, because you're making me enter in haiku!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Clown Town by crabby 3-31-04

Hey! Did you hear the Mayor of town is giving a huge speech! Yeah! I heard he's going to announce the new head of sanitation today! Maybe one of us will win the honor! That would make my day! As mayor of town I hereby name FUN as the new head of sanitation!

Uh Oh

I sense an off the wall, blinded by science, driven by hate, Crabby masterpiece series here.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

CC238: Pretty much true. by UnknownEric 3-31-04

You cock sucking son of a cunt! Eat my warm mushy shit! Eat it! Mmmm, it's fuckin' good, ain't it, you cum-guzzling whore! Fucking douchebag assfuck! Lick my cock till it spurts up your nose! Lying sack of shit! Why don't you stick a rifle up your asshole and fire! See what happens, dickcheese! You know, if the State of the Union address gets you this upset...

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I has a flavor!

Does that mean I'm winning?

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Poop.

Boinky's Lover by possums 3-31-04

*glorp, glorp* Aww yeah... just like that. *glorp, glorp* Damn! Don't you need to come up for air? AHH! Much better!

I had to do an American authors project for English and I wanted to choose you but you weren't on the list. So I chose Poe instead.

CC 238: FUCK THE WORLD by umfumdisi 3-31-04

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

quote:

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I sense an off the wall, blinded by science, driven by hate, Crabby masterpiece series here.

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! by crabby 4-01-04

Stacy, I just wanted to say good-bye! I'm really going to miss your friendship but I have to go down to my uncle's farm for college! WoW! The big city! What will you be studying! I'm going to major in playfulness! I hope to meet a nice man who will respect me and treat me as an equal! You're so lucky! My uncle owns no farm! I have no college to attend! I will pack you in my suitcase! Then you can learn all my classes while I attend! You're my best friend ever!

!! by crabby 4-01-04

Uncle Melvin! I have arrived and I am ready to begin my classes! I'm so alone on this farm! All I have in this world is this college and Backstreet Boy Kevin Richardson! Other than that I am all alone! Will Kevin Richardson be teaching any of the classes I will be attending?! He teaches them all! We met during the Ireland leg of his 97 tour and we really hit it off! He loves farm colleges! I must confess, I brought my friend along in my suitcase! GOOD LORD! I must now marry her! She is marvelous! We will move to my Arizona summer home! I leave this farm to you! Don't feed Kevin Richardson after sundown!

!!! by crabby 4-01-04

Kevin Richardson I jus wanted to say hello! I inherited this farm from my uncle! yo. I can't feed you Kevin it's after sundown! word. I don't care if the sun is still over Thailand! Stop Kevin Richardson! You've penetrated my Thought Dome I can't take it! dance?

!!!! by crabby 4-01-04

Why would Kevin Richardson of BackStreet Boys fame do this to me?! He's gone straght to the inner workings of my mind to force me to feed him! But if I feed him that would go against everything I learned in my college teachings! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kevin Richardson is entering his own thoughts into my mind now! yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo!

!!!!! by crabby 4-01-04

Kevin Richardson you sent my body into complete shock! I was passed out for 83 hours! You stole all the money from the college and burned down the farm! yet I still love you! dope. So let us get married! This nightfall I shall feed you! mackdaddy? Oh no! Feeding you after nightfall causes you to turn into a norseman! MY HEART IS TRUE! OUR BOND IS STRONG! SO OUR DAYS WILL CARRY ON! THROUGH SLEEPLESS NIGHTS AND DREAMLESS DREAMS!

I'm offended.

Is it the most offensive comic that wins, or is it the funniest comic that happens to be offensive? I've had an idea for a strip, but frankly I feel deeply uneasy just thinking about it and I'm not sure it's worth making.

CC 238: On the offense by MikeyG 3-31-04

What are you doing...bending over like that, man...spreading your butt cheeks? I was just about...to shit in a baby's mouth...the baby is dead. I hope that's a joke...that would be so offensive...to all soccer moms. There is a penis...growing out of my tonsils...I fuck frogs with it. At least you are not...sucking on your own toe cheese...that would be nasty. No, I made myself...an AIDS-sicle from your dad...it tastes like his cock.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Mikey , sorry dude, but no amount of haiku spouting, dead baby defecating, frog fucking patricide is going to top that Crabby Masterpiece series.

Absoloutely fucking unbelievable. Crabby, you magnificent bastard!

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

CC238-In the Army now by mmyers 4-01-04

The President signed a bill today protecting fetus and embryo rights. I feel much safer now. Not you, baby! You're a baby now. Time to go kill for your country. Ah hell. Baby, what the hell is your problem?! I know you can't walk, but you can crawl, right!? I watched you throw your food, so I know you can throw a grenade. I think I just crapped my pants, and from the smell of it, I'm not the only one.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Zen and the Art of Comic Contest Victory by kaufman 4-01-04

Oh great Master, I have crossed the Great Desert and climbed this mountain to find you, in hope that you can answer my question. This week's comic contest is to offend boinky33. How can I offend him the most and win his contest? The best way to offend him is not to enter his contest.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Sounds like a winner to me, make the fucking srip already.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Are old comics allowed?

Pluck it out by andydougan 1-05-04

I fled Tibet with my family in the cargo hold of a sewage-removal boat. I'm now being sent home to be tortured to death by the government. What are you in for? I used my girlfriend's fortnight-old daughter as a slip-on toy until her entrails started coming out. The police thought I'd better stay overnight in the cells. Then I'm getting out to marry my girlfriend. Can you teach me to impress chicks?

cc- dancing robots by xxausrottenxx 4-02-04

boink, i dont think that tobor has much faith in me being a big scary robot. whenever i ask his advice he says he would cornhole me but i would enjoy it too much well... just do like i do, and you'll be fine but thats what ive been doing the whole time..

cc- dancing robots 2 by xxausrottenxx 4-02-04

how do you get with the girls, boinky? thats an easy question its only $11.99 a month for extreme teen weekly?, hot damn! im going premium!

cc-dancing robots 3 by xxausrottenxx 4-02-04

boinky, what are you doing in my room? i was talking to the robot boinky, for the last time, you are not allowed to videotape me changing....im your sister

cc- dancing robots 4 by xxausrottenxx 4-02-04

i dont understand why you have to be so creepy, dont you have friends? yeah i do were fighting though its okay, im sure your right hand will forgive you for that papercut

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xx( o Y o. )xx

Ouch, dougan. I don't know if I can top your entry.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

CC238 : Boinky, you really are shit. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 4-03-04

So, you going to make an entry into Boinky's latest CC? Fuck no. Its the worst concept for a CC in 238 editions. Even MikeyG's contest was more entertaing. True. And i really enjoyed calling him a cockloving son of a whore. I like how he makes out it doesnt affect him. Yep. Trying to make friends by letting people insult you is a truly stupid idea. So who was the first person to do it? Boinky.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"