a friendly reminder from upthread: when you post the URLs, omit the "http://", or else we can't vote on them.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

Bloody hell, I'm number 1.

I just posted my favorite strips in my one year at stripcreator in the forum below. If you like any of them, feel free to click on the title and vote.

http://www.stripcreator.com/forums/showthread.php?postnum=135456&forum=23

http://www.stripcreator.com/forums/showthread.php?postnum=135550&forum=23

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Poop.

The mans already a legend, but this one had me in fits

www.stripcreator.com/comics/ObiJo/208286

For some reason, the fact that he says "Sprite" completely makes that comic.

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Poop.

www.stripcreator.com/comics/Geniu$/226620

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

w00t!

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Dad was flammable

Here's the deal. I know a lot of you like my comics. But it's not my style to trumpet any particular one(s). I have no idea which ones of mine are really good, nor am I (usually) insecure enough to have to ask for votes. Still, I must admit I'd like to just once have one comic up on that list. No, to my knowledge, it hasn't happened. Ever. I don't know what I'd want to replace; of the comics on toprated, there are probably at most three I wouldn't give a "good" rating to. You guys have pretty good taste.

Bottom line: I've had a dreadfully shitty day/week/month/year, and am probably on my graceful way out of a job, with abysmal employability prospects. And my lawn ate up another mower. I need a hug, so to speak. And a nice way to give it, should you care to, is to find a few strips of mine you like, and vote for them. That probably won't get me on toprated -- your friend won't vote on the same strips you do, but it's the thought that counts.

And I need good thoughts. Thanks.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Trying to pick kaufman's best is an impossible task...still, here's the ones I voted for:

www.stripcreator.com/comics/kaufman/176489
www.stripcreator.com/comics/kaufman/41926
www.stripcreator.com/comics/kaufman/61201

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Everybody, please get at least one kaufman comic up there. We owe it to the guy with the ability to make such consistently amusing comics.

Let's go! It's the official CHEER UP KAUFMAN DRIVE!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

This is my favorite KK comic

I'll Never See Obese a Burden by kaufman 7-30-03

Haven't you ever considered losing some weight? It must be inconvenient for someone like you in a made-for-svelte society. Not really. On the contrary, there are places that cater to all my plus-size needs. Like what? Big-& tall clothes stores, places that sell oversized chairs, supersized meals ... why, there's even a special scale made for people like me. Richter, right?

some personal favorites of my comics, from most recent to least recent:

the miracle of life by areallystupidguy 3-12-04

so, you work in the maternity ward at the hospital huh? sure do! tell me, what's it like delivering a child? it's fantastic. the feeling of doing god's work, of delivering a new life to this world... it's the most beautiful feeling most will ever experience. no no, i mean give me all the gruesome details. i have my tape recorder ready. ...you fucking weirdo.

Prostitution for Fun and Profit by areallystupidguy 12-25-03

i still can't believe that you've chosen PROSTITUTION as a career path. so how did your first day go? pretty good. i didn't know how much to charge though, so i just put up a sign that said "donations accepted". did you make very much? about 50 bucks. i think everybody gave me a nickel.

Playing checkers by areallystupidguy 11-30-03

dude, why are you eating the checkers? *crunch crunch* duh! because the black ones look like little oreos! so why are you eating the red ones too? they taste better!

Happy Thankgiving (a comic) by areallystupidguy 11-27-03

watching the macy's parade thing hey, what are all those strippers doing there? don't KIDS watch this show? those aren't strippers. they're the dancers for the marching band. GOOD GOD, LOOKIT HOW HIGH THEY'RE KICKING!

Presidential Election Outlook by areallystupidguy 10-28-03

for this upcoming presidential election there will be a whole bunch of fools. it appears america is truly doomed no matter which way they vote, so now would be a good time to invest in bomb shelters everyone. click i hate reruns.

[Click to view comic: 'Trenchcoat Sam and the Case of the Something']
[Click to view comic: 'GIMME 20!']
[Click to view comic: 'hitmen']
[Click to view comic: 'magic tricks']
[Click to view comic: 'hippie is really really dumb']
[Click to view comic: 'The world explodes']

have a heart, vote for stupid!

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It's grime time.

You've been listening to the "Friends" theme on repeat again, haven't you? (:

For what it's worth, that's not true. The one with all the Beatles song titles was on the list for a while after this thread started. That's still my favorite, too--go upthread and vote for it, everyone.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

w00t!

http://www.geocities.com/habnem/kaufmantop.JPG

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

Thanks, guys. Now I can die.

Or, better yet, live.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

www.stripcreator.com/comics/Geniu$/229251

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

www.stripcreator.com/comics/boinky33/229498

Canadian Bears by Rabid_Weasle 9-22-03

Hey, where are your arms? Well... I'm a Canadian bear. So....? I don't have the right to bear arms.

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Poop.

i just noticed a fun toprated.php-related anecdote: right now, my Contest 164b is on top of the list... and it didn't even win the contest it was entered into. i guess that for the moment i'm vindicated (:

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

i think having a comic in toprated would be my life goal

satan jr part 2 by xxausrottenxx 1-26-04

peter, are the preparations complete? yes, my lord, all the party favors are in place! as for the whoopie cushion? pffffft! oh you guys are assholes!

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xx( o Y o. )xx

Some monkey just gave this a bad rating -

Twin Air-Bags. by Geniu$ 4-28-04

Our stripper was involved in a car accident on the way here tonight. OH MY GOD! Are her tits ok?

strange votings afoot.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Rules of Shopping at Wal-Mart (3) by MikeyG 4-14-04

Rule #7: If you want a job at Wal-Mart, don't be gay. Although your repeated requests to take me to dinner have made me uncomfortable in the past, sir, I've decided to take you up on the offer. Aha! You're fired. Rule #8: No matter when you shop there, they never have any more of YOUR brand of deodorant. Excuse me, do you have anymore Right Guard Sportâ„¢? We're out, sir. All we have left is Jimmy Joe Bob's Famous Armpit Detergent. Rule #9: Even though they are displayed prominently, asking a Wal-Mart employee in the midwest where the condoms are will garner disdain. Excuse me, where are your condoms? The devices of Satan are in aisle four, sir.

This is one of the few I am actually proud of. Come on, y'all. I know you got SOME love fo' tha G.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Don Cornholeone by smamurai 6-04-04

Don Cornholeone the people in the village are afraid of repercussions. My father could cornhole anybody anytime, it didn't matter. Why have they insulted me Tinny? Don Video+ did his cornholing away from prying eyes. You were in a crowded supermarket for Gods sake. Just when I think I'm in.... ....THEY PULL ME BACK OUT!

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

This one had ME cracking up.

Revelation by MikeyG 6-16-04

Hey, I got the shit beat out of me yesterday. What happened? I shouted my surprise as I realized that the world has no one definition and that it can only be defined by each individual's perception, making no one perception better than any others. So how did that get you beat up? I was jacking off onto my sleeping dad's face at the time.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.