I'm worth $1.99, and that includes shipping.

*sigh*

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This is not my empire.

That's what I have a Yahoo! email address for. Any time I feel the need to enter some silly contest or do anything I'm guessing will land me in spam hell, I use that email address. It works pretty well, but I still tend to get some shit.

My wife did the thingie and it turns out she's worth more than me. I'm guessing that height has something to do with it so I'm cutting off her legs tonight. Then we'll see who's Mrs. Bigshot!

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I mean Dr. Bigshot.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

(she made me say that. But she's gone now! DORK!)

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I use Hotmail. I logged into my account last night for the first time since August and had 623 unread e-mails, fewer than ten of which were solicited. And that's not counting all the stuff that got deleted because I went over my byte quota. I do still get some stuff at my primary address. I'm considering setting fire to the senders' houses.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

That's what I have a Yahoo! email address for. Any time I feel the need to enter some silly contest or do anything I'm guessing will land me in spam hell, I use that email address. It works pretty well, but I still tend to get some shit.

Well, I have a catchall, so I do things like humansforsale@ my domain or amazondotcom@, and stuff like that. That way I can see who's selling my email addresses, and then I go look at their terms of service and realize I agreed they could or some shit. :/

I keep intending to figure out how to procmail out email with certain addresses in the to: field. I already have the procmail file set up to archive incoming messages, so all I have to do is find out the syntax for the line or two it would take to block email. It's a piddly little thing, and I somehow manage to keep putting it off... for years now. It almost feels like I'd be betraying my oath of procrastination to find out now.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

New DSL modem is here. I was worried the new service would be suckier than the old. Over 900 kbps! Yahoo! pR0n, here I come!

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

$1,911,710.00. They must go by pound.

I wonder if people appreciate as they get older like houses or depreciate like cars.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I woke up at 7am EDT on a Saturday morning. Somebody shoot me.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Your bitch ass better be watching cartoons, or else we will.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I've posted this for no other reason than that I wanted to get reply #700.

701's where the hep cat's hang out, my friend.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

...where the hep cat's *what* hang out?

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Nads.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I just saw something that made me laugh so I thought I'd share. My wife and I just got back from a quick jaunt to the ice cream place down the block before she left for work.

We were standing in line behind a girl around 12 to 14 years old. Here's how she placed her order:

"I'd like a single Butterfinger in a dish. And I need another single Butterfinger in a dish. And one more single Butterfinger in a dish."

I guess it didn't make me laugh so much as make me want to go smack the girl on the head.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Farewell, mes Amis by gabe_billings 9-29-01

So this is your 400th comic, huh? What now? I think Obi was right when he left before. I think I'm gonna take off and bid adieu to Stripcreator. Really? Really. So this is goodbye? I'm afraid so.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

My Bad by gabe_billings 9-29-01

Wow. Four minutes. That must be a record. Why'd you come back? My dog just took a poop. I thought it was pretty funny and that I should make a comic about it. Why's that funny? It looks kinda like wirthling's head. Come look. It did kinda look like wirthling's head. Too bad you stepped in it. You could have framed it and hung it on your wall. Ah, cruel fate! Why must you temp me so?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Fate is a temp? You'd think she'd been at her job long enough to become permanent. Permanent employees get better bennies.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Remember when DexX was telling us they have a hair removal product called "Nad's" in Australia? Well, I don't remember too much of it, so maybe someone else already said this, but apparently they also have it here in the US, or at least ads for it. I'd gone several months without watching any TV, but I started again within the past month or so, and all of a sudden there are these commercials for Nad's. And they've got this jingle where they sing "Feeling great with Nad's". I mean, Jesus! Doesn't anybody have the heart to tell them?

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Last time I checked, wirthling was the only registered pissy, smirking, pedantic fuck around here. He might be irked that you're moving in on his territory.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Remember when DexX was telling us they have a hair removal product called "Nad's" in Australia? Well, I don't remember too much of it, so maybe someone else already said this, but apparently they also have it here in the US, or at least ads for it. I'd gone several months without watching any TV, but I started again within the past month or so, and all of a sudden there are these commercials for Nad's. And they've got this jingle where they sing "Feeling great with Nad's". I mean, Jesus! Doesn't anybody have the heart to tell them?

Here in North Carolina, they've been showing those Nads infomercials for the past three years. The first time I saw it, I caught it on tape because I was convinced that once people drew the gonads connection, the commercial would be yanked. While it wasn't yanked, it *was* toned down and made less.... horribly godawully funny.

Last time I checked, wirthling was the only registered pissy, smirking, pedantic fuck around here. He might be irked that you're moving in on his territory.

I wasn't smirking when I typed that, nor was I pissy. I was bitchy. Getitright!

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Well, the secret spy cam I have hidden in your place got bumped and it isn't pointed in the right direction anymore, so it's hard to see facial expressions.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

That's almost not funny, considering that the last time I rebooted my computer I discovered that I had 20 users logged into my computer. It seems that I turned file sharing on so Sam could get something across our network, and I forgot to shut it off or set a password. I have no idea how long these people were nosing around in my computer, or why they were there, but TWENTY people?

I hope I don't see pictures of me in a towel plastered all over the web.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Hep cat's don't believe in limiting apostrophe's to just contractive and possesive case's.

That commercial's been around for at least a couple years now here in the states. I am a practicing insomniac and remember seeing it on late night TV when I was still going to college.

The Daily Show did a great parody of the name too, from a consumer advocate standpoint saying things like, "Are nads harmful?", "What happens if I accidently swallow Nads?", and the like. Good stuff.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.