quote:

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5. I wish I didn't have such large breasts

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Some more things...

1.) I have a crush on the redhead in that Dollar Tree Christmas commercial.
2.) I've been a subscriber to The Hockey News since 1991.
3.) I used to write Twin Peaks fan fiction.
4.) In 5th grade, I farted and blamed it on Donald (who was well known amongst the teachers for gaseous outbursts) and he got detention for it.
5.) I have a mint condition Joe Montana rookie card, but I can't remember where I put it.
6.) I have recurring dreams in which there are evil forces in the attic of my childhood home.
7.) I once followed Scotty Bowman into the bathroom at the old Memorial Auditorium in Buffalo for an autograph.
8.) I've written pilots for 4 separate TV shows, but I'm way too lazy to ever try to get them made.
9.) I co-ran a very small record label (Fizzle and Pop Records) from 1999-2000. We only got two releases out (my band's CD and a 7" by a band called Palomar Sky Survey) before we fell apart due to a complete lack of business sense.
10.) Even though I'm an atheist, that scene in Charlie Brown Christmas where Linus orders the lights dimmed and reads from the Bible always makes me cry.

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I has a flavor!

1. Is scared of spiders
2. Is paranoid
3. Smells slightly like vinegar
4. Is anti-social
5. Collects Kick-starts for racing turkeys
6. Is able to put his foot in his mouth
7. Is able to read time (Yae!)
8. Owns a watch :)
9. Is a smoker
10. Is in his last year of school
11. Is unable to count

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Poo perhaps?

10 more just for fun!

1) I am extremely shy in person
2) Had a 9.2 average on that amihotornot website thingy
3) Work in radio
4) Am actually procrastinating right now, supposed to be writing 2 commercials and prepping for 2 5 hour pre-recorded on-air shifts
5) Have a high IQ but tend to act stupid because people treat me differently when they know I'm smart
6) Act like Frank the Tank from Old School when I'm drunk
7) Am a Kiwi (as in a New Zealander, not the fruit or bird)
8) My name is short for The Host of Chaos which is the title of a poster my dad bought me like 12 years ago.
9) I also know dcom is lying because I own a copy of Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'em.
10) I'm 24 years of age

P.S. Sorry Ivy...

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"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

- Won a poetry reading contest at the age of 10
- has met Denis Compton
- allergic to cats
- wears UK size 6 shoes
- once drank an entire bottle of Isle of Jura at a party, took a piss in the shower while the hostess was taking a leak on the toilet, made a lewd remark to the hostess, and then forgot everything about getting home except for tossing the now empty bottle of whiskey into the river Wear.
- went out with my high school girlfriend again 3 years after we split up.
- hates offal but likes haggis
- is right handed
- was once so high, ate Shredded Wheat dipped in treacle, and a sheet of paper with some ink on it. Stay off the drugs, kids.
- could not stop laughing for an entire lesson in 2nd form biology when my desk mate related a story from Reader's Digest about a man who had glued a minature plane to the back of a housefly.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Damn, I had mine up for about a day once and only pulled a 2.1 or something equally embarrassing.

I'm a total nerd.

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I has a flavor!

1. I once sold pineapple juice to Kirk Cameron at Disneyland.

2. I've lived at the beach since 1995, but I've never even tried surfing.

3. I'd go straight for Scarlett Johansson or Jennifer Connelly. Totally. Forever.

4. I tried out for Jeopardy once, but failed.

5. My first job was as a caddy at a country club.

6. Drinking feats include finishing a 750 ml bottle of tequila in four minutes with three other people, and a keg in one night with four other people.

7. Somebody stole one of the two sandals outside my front door this week. One sandal is pretty useless.

8. Favorite pizza topping is mushroom.

9. Starbucks drink of choice is triple venti non-fat latte. I've cut back from quads.

10. Strongest earthquake I experienced was the 6.7 Northridge quake 1994. I was living in Northridge at the time. The house did fine, but my 60 gallon fish tank tipped over and shattered. All of the fish died of suffocation, but my eel died was crushed under other falling debris.

Actually I knew just about all of those things.

That must have been you I saw when I "accidentally" rented the movie Caddyshag.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

I once tried to make love to a mound of clay.

Dude, if I was gay, I'd go straight for them too. As it is now, I'd go gay just to be able to go straight for them.

I was going to make fun of you for wearing sandals, because only gay guys should be allowed to wear sandals without ridicule, but then I remembered you're gay.

If you only had a vagina, I'd totally go for you. Then you could lead me on and pretend you didn't know I liked you and just want to be my friend.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Alllllright..

1. I am afraid of the dark.
2. I wear a size 10 shoe(which is big for a girl).
3. I play the Xbox way too much and can never pass a game store without going in.
4. I have popped my patella out twice. Both times hurt immensely.
5. I once showed a steer at the state fair and won.
6. I own 5 closets worth of clothing and don't wear 3/4 of it.
7. I am crazy about MikeyG.
8. I once won a radio contest looking for refrigerator magnet poetry. The poem was called "The Dress" and you had to send in a picture of it.
9. I am extremely ignorant and uninterested in politics of most any kind.
10. I'm 6' tall.

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

This is way too fun to do.

1. I also wear a size 10 shoe, which is not only big for a girl, but big for my height.
2. I barely make 5' 4".
3. 10 years ago I slipped off a massively waxed stage and hurt my left shoulder. Since then, I can dislocate my shoulder at will. The doctor said if I refrain from dislocating it for 6 months, it might finally heal, but I somehow never make it that long.
4. I think Russell Crowe is repulsive.
5. If I had the chance, I would absolutely have sex with Xena.
6. Name brand fashion means nothing to me, yet I spent almost four years in college as a costume designer.
7. I think fewer things are sexier than a man in a 1940's-style suit.
8. I am a geek.
9. My last purity test score (the 1500 point taken in 1998) was 36% pure. Most of it was from the sex questions.
10. My favorite pizza is topped with chicken, mushrooms, onions, green pepper, and pineapple.

1. I'm 6'1", 190 lbs.
2. I'm a senior in Catholic school
3. I wear a size 14 shoe
4. My date to Winter Ball last year was half drunk when I picked her up
5. I've met Ahman Green of the Green Bay Packers
6. I've always had a thing for red heads or cute goth/grunge girls (I think Avril Lavigne is the one of the finest girls alive)
7. I'm used to failure, seeing as how I'm a White Sox Fan, Packers fan, and a Chicago Blackhawks fan.
8. Had a whole cup of beer spill on me at the 2002 Fiesta Bowl (Oregon vs. Colorado)
9. I don't like ANY type of pie
10. I sat on the sidelines in football for 4 years in HS and two years of Grade School

quote:

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9. I don't like ANY type of pie

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I was going to make fun of you for wearing sandals, because only gay guys should be allowed to wear sandals without ridicule, but then I remembered you're gay.

You forget I live at the beach...sandals are way more hetero than homo here.

quote:

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10) Meet me in St. Louis... I've never been to Missouri.

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I hear that.

Discriminating strippers want to learn more about the mystery that is MikeyG.

I hate you a little less now, so I'll fess up one or two more tidbits. Some of you may know some of these already:

1. I have an awfully thin skin for a guy who has hung around Stripcreator for the past 3.5 years.

2. I was a hair's bredth from just full-out proclaiming myself an Atheist until a bizarre series of events in my life made me consider otherwise. I'm back once more to being spiritual on a personal scale, if not presicely religious or convinced of the validity of any current theological doctrine.

3. Speaking of bizarre events, they happen quite a bit with me. Like for example the night of the 4th of July, I walked out to the side of the road at a friend's house at 2:30 in the morning. On the roadside at the end of the driveway, there was a black pin that someone had seemingly tossed from their car. The lettering on it read "What is this endless series of meaningless experiences trying to teach me?" Good question. Given the context of the conversation I was having when I spotted the pin, it was even kind of relevant.

4. RC and a moon pie 0wnz j00. I rarely enjoy them together because it would simply lead to a horrible addiction... and not even an addiction I'd be happy to indulge in. I'd rather be addicted to Indian food.

5. I rarely speak to people, not because I'm trying to be snobbish, standoffish, or superior, but because I'm busy repeating or rehearsing what I *want* to say about fifty times before I can say anything at all. This even applies to friends I have known for years. Perhaps that's why I prefer writing, and moreover, why I prefer message forums over chat.

6. As much as I have studied language, and as much as languages fascinate me, I'd really prefer to just communicate with hand signals, touch, and non-specific vocalizations. It would be about as presice as words are sometimes, and carry a lot more direct meaning.

7. Biting makes the world go 'round.

8. The "Vintersorg" shirt my forumuser character is wearing is no longer in a nice, wearable condition. I think it has seen the end of its days

9. I record my dreams whenever I have the time and the inclination. My most common themes are Zombies, Schools, and public restrooms. I have a feeling I won't be dreaming about schools for much longer.

10. I still hate you.

1. I once had Dan Quayle autograph my dictionary.
2. I have a large, dark birthmark that's very close to the exact shape of Australia.
3. I went to an all-male college.
4. Perhaps consequently, I did not get laid until age 21.
5. My degree is in theatre, which I don't particularly even like anymore (sad, as I only left school two or three years ago)
6. I am preparing to record an album that will rock the balls off of the world.
7. My handle is the same pretty much everywhere I go online.
8. In general, I don't like getting drunk.
9. When asked, my political leanings are anarchopacifist.
10. It is my firm belief that each "Star Wars" movie, chronologically in terms of release date, has been worse than the last. "Empire" apologists can bite me.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

More shit you didn't know about me:

11. I have mild dyslexia, so mild I can overcompensate for most of it unless I'm trying ot do something complex or I'm incredibly exhausted.

12. I wear a size 11 wide shoe. Not unusual for a girl who is 5' 10 1/2"

13. My first and middle names are common, but unusually spelled, which created hell for anyone who had to take my information, such as the school, Wachovia bank, my office, etc...

14. My arms and hands are covered in burn scars from my own accident-prone nature around cooking/fireplace scenerios.

15. When I was about 10 years old, I was almost pushed in front of a car by a group of bullies.

16. I am a very nervous person who bites her nails.

17. I considered going to school to be a jewler, but decided to go into Information Systems last second.

18. I preferred playing with my G.I. Joes to playing with Barbie as a child.

19. I can make a perfect oragami crane the size of your fingernail, but I cannot wrap a gift worth crap.

20. My favorite color is royal purple. Pink will make me vomit.

21. I have a collection of smiley memorabilia.

22. I am allergic to red food dye.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

1. I've seen Sarah Feurgeson naked -- live and in person.
2. I was turned down for a spot on The Apprentice II because I threw a tennis racket at Donald Trump.
3. Using the plans published in Time magazine, I've constructed a fully functional nuclear missile (minus the uranium).
4. I've taken a speed reading course every year for a month since I was four, and I have read nearly 20% of everything in the Library of Congress.
5. I have had four sex-change operations.
6. I once wrestled an escaped manatee at Sea World and pinned it in under a minute.
7. I replaced the original body of my car with laminated waffles glued together.
8. I lose up to 20 pounds during the molting season.
9. If I concentrate really hard, I can make my fingernails grow six times faster than normal.
10. Penguins tend to accept me as one of their own.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

By popular request (my own), here are 10 more:

01. My mother-in-law to be thought I was gay because I was quiet and well-mannered.
02. My mother wanted me to be a pilot.
03. I was born a poor, black child (sorry, that was Navin R. Johnson)
04. I had sex with my then girlfriend while driving eastbound on I-40 in North Carolina somewhere between Asheville and Raleigh.
05. At six months of age, I was dropped down a short flight of concrete steps and suffered only a slight skull fracture.
06. The first (and last) song I learned to play on guitar was Poison's "Talk Dirty To Me."
07. I was paddled in high school (high school!) for talking while the teacher was out of the room (everyone was talking, but he singled me out for some reason).
08. I became choked on a Red-Hot Fireball jawbreaker during high school lunch period one day, but my best friend performed the Heimlich and saved me.
09. While on the Scholar's Bowl team in a televised competition (again in high school) I answered "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?" to a question whose answer was "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"
10. I used to lie in bed at night and wish for the Underwear Fairy to come and take away all my underwear.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Finally! I've been waiting forever!

I've got the uranium. You bring your missile to my place and we'll get that baby working. After all, the authorities probably won't notice another nuclear weapon until it's too late. This is Wyoming after all.

Oh, if I only had a dollar for every time I've heard that.