attitudechicka

I would, if it was Astro from "The Jetsons."

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

biped

I would, if it was Astro from "The Jetsons."

Or if the Houston Astros came to your party to personally DJ for you. That'd be pretty sweet too.

Or if you needed someone to engage in some record spinning and turf management.

Instead of blowing money on a DJ, get one of these:

Having an iPod DJ your wedding these days is cool and hip. I'm not sure what to do about the rest of the sound system, though. I guess you could just pass the earbuds around among all the wedding guests. Everyone could wear them for 20 seconds or so.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

There are speaker docks you can get for your ipod. I'm sure if someone were crafty enough, they could transfer the dock to some quality speakers large enough for a reception hall.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

[IMG]http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c12/ivytheplant/Elano20RCA20Cable.jpg[/IMG]

And if you were so inclined, you could even create, upload, and play video from your iPod to a larger screen with one of these babies:

[IMG]http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c12/ivytheplant/Apple-Ipod-video-AV-cable2.jpg[/IMG]

There's much cheaper versions of those out there. RCA cables are one of those things that multiply exponentially with every generation and I'm sure you'll find the right one in your house. Even if you never bought one, it will be there, along with a dozen others you don't remember buying. Unless you're like someone I know, who threw all of them out and when the only RCA cable in the house got crushed, was too fucking cheap to spend a couple bucks on a new one and now bemoans this whole problem...

ahem...

Yeah, so any receiver that has RCA input could take an iPod. Though you might want to at least have someone who could manipulate it, turn it off, change songs, etc.

Just do the world a favor and don't play that damned chicken dance.

I'm telling you, the chicken dance is a staple. I didn't have it at my wedding because of all of your protest and now I'm sad. Let the drunks cluck.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

I campaigned heartily against the Chicken Dance, Macarena, etc etc. The wife won. As usual.

But I did get to pick the "first dance" song, so I picked the Beatles "Here, There and Everywhere" because it's only 2 minutes long.

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I has a flavor!

While we had our share of disagreements, one thing we were all the way together on was the pronounced lack of "At Last' by Etta James.

attitudechicka

UnknownEric

My wife-to-be dances ballet, and she agrees with me about the Chicken Dance and Macarena. Besides, there won't be free booze at our wedding and no one in either family is a big enough boozer to get drunk at a pay bar in the early afternoon.

We haven't decided on a first dance song, but I want "Bring It On Home" by Little Big Town.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Before iPods, we DJed some wedding receptions with this thing called a "cassette tape." You had to flip it over every 45-55 minutes, which by today's standards is an intolerable pain in the ass.

 [IMG]http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/boorite/Image-B0F5DD5AE4A111D8.jpg[/IMG]

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What others say about boorite!

It's poetic how that cassette has a sad face. It's sad that cassettes are being/have been phased out. Sure, they are clunky and what not, but they have oh so much charm.  My ex girlfriend bought me 300 blank all white cassette tapes for christmas in 05. I've only used three of them, but I'm glad to know that I have all these blank cassettes around. They look cool and if an opportunity ever comes up to make someone a mixtape, I got blank white cassette tapes ready.

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You don't know what I got... .

HCRoyall

You might want to call those DJs and book one before you start thinking about your first dance song, some only have a limited amount of music in their collection and will give you a song sheet to choose from. Unless you bring your own CD, then they'll play whatever you want. I wanted to dance with my father to "Daughters" and it wasn't a selection, so I brought my own John Mayer CD.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

HOLY SHIT!

Shannon Malloy was critically injured Jan. 25 when a car crash slammed her into the dashboard. Her skull separated from her spine, although her skin, spinal cord and other internal organs remained intact.

The rare condition is known as clinically as internal decapitation, and it left her with no control over her head.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Today is my first official day off work in 7 months.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

did you party like it was 1999?

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what if nigger meant kite

Uh, I watched Scrubs from the comfort of my bed and slept while it was still dark outside. Two luxuries I've been without for a while.

I'm changing addresses again. Those who need/want it know how to get in touch with me. Cell phone number isn't changing, but I'm toying with the idea of having a real home phone again. I can't actually pick up mail at the new residence until June 1st, but I'll be living there sometime next week. This also means that I will be away from the internet for at least a few days.

As usual, you're all welcome to visit any time and stay as long as you like.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

I just bought a 32' HD tv for my room, and I can't set it up yet as Ikea don't do online shopping here yet.

BASTARDS!

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

I updated my website for the first time in over a month this evening.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I'm still alive. Who lost the bet?

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Bringing you comics, once a year. Whether you want them or not.

Today, I will be going to the beach!

Can someone bring garbage bags for the bodies?

I recently conducted a "round-robin" interview with a variety of well-known movie stars.  How did I persuade them all to congregate in one place to answer my questions?  Free pizza. 

ERNEST BORGNINE:  This sure is good pizza.
BIPED:  Shut up.  Tom Cruise--why are you such a big, fat idiot?
TOM CRUISE:  I don't know.
MEL GIBSON:  I know!
BIPED:  What?  You know why Tom Cruise is such a big, fat idiot, or why you yourself are such a big, fat idiot?
MEL GIBSON:  Uhh..."D."
BIPED:  Excuse me?
MEL GIBSON:  "D.  All of the above." (emits bug-eyed laugh)
JESSICA ALBA:  This pizza is the best pizza I've ever--
BIPED:  Shut up.  Heath Ledger, what the hell makes you think that you will make a decent Joker in the new Batman movie?
HEATH LEDGER:  Well, I'm quite the "joker" in real life.  Just yesterday, I heard someone on the street say, "Call me a cab."  So I yelled, "Okay--you're a cab!"  Ha, ha! 
BIPED:  Kill yourself.
HEATH LEDGER:  Okay.  (leaves)
BIPED:  Mel, what's your next film project?
MEL GIBSON:  Something different--a children's story.  It's called "Inside We Know, Outside We Grow."  I want to do a family picture that kids can go see with their parents for a change.
BIPED:  How many people get their guts ripped out in it?
MEL GIBSON:  Thirty-five.  No, wait, there's the "picnic" scene...uh, forty.
BIPED:  Any beheadings?  Dismemberments?  Castrations?
MEL GIBSON:  Hey, I have to save something for the sequel! (emits bug-eyed laugh)
ERNEST BORGNINE AND JESSICA ALBA: (in unison) Piz-ZA!  Piz-ZA!  Piz-ZA!
BIPED:  What is it with you two?
ERNEST BORGNINE:  We're getting married!
JESSICA ALBA: At Pizza Hut!  And instead of rice, everyone will throw anchovies at us!
ERNEST BORGNINE:  And our bed will be filled with pizzas so we can roll around on them while we're having sex!
JESSICA ALBA:  SEX!  SEX!  SEX!
BIPED:  Tom, why are you wearing a clown suit and clown makeup?
TOM CRUISE:  Because I'm currently filming a new movie called "Fartso The Clown." 
BIPED:  Oh...so, you're playing the title role?
TOM CRUISE:  No.  "Fartso" will be played by Jude Law.  Dustin Hoffman will portray his father, "Stinko."
BIPED:  What part do you play? 
TOM CRUISE:  I'm directing it.
JESSICA ALBA:  Can I be in it? (cuts monstrous fart)
TOM CRUISE:  Yes.
JESSICA ALBA:  YAAAAY!!!
ERNEST BORGNINE:  I wanna [cuts even more monstrous fart] be in it, too!
TOM CRUISE:  Okay. (rips deafening fart)
MEL GIBSON:  I want to combine your movie with my movie, Tom.  We could call it "Inside Fartso The Clown Knows, Outside Fartso The Clown Grows." (cuts fart that blows the seat of his pants off)
TOM CRUISE:  Okay. (farts)
BIPED:  I think this pizza has given everyone gas.
JESSICA ALBA:  You know what I think?
BIPED:  What?
JESSICA ALBA: (blasts a sustained, incredibly loud fart that sounds like the trumpet section of the Boston Pops Orchestra)  Ha, ha!
TOM CRUISE:  Anybody got any Bean-o? (farts percussively)
ERNEST BORGNINE:  No, but I sure do love pizza! (rips a fart that sounds like a herd of wild elephants)
HEATH LEDGER:  I'm back.
BIPED:  I thought you killed yourself.
HEATH LEDGER:  I was going to, but then I began to fart uncontrollably. (farts uncontrollably)
BIPED:  Well, I'm sorta glad you didn't.   I was just kidding before.
HEATH LEDGER:  Whew...that was close. (farts)
TOM CRUISE:  Would you like to be in our new movie? (farts)
HEATH LEDGER:  Do I have to audition for it first? (launches a series of ear-splitting farts that shatter three half-inch-thick plate glass windows)
MEL GIBSON:  You just did!  (emits bug-eyed laugh and huge fart)
ERNEST BORGNINE AND JESSICA ALBA: (in unison)  Ha, ha! (both continue to fart)
TOM CRUISE:  Ha, ha--MEL!  NO!  Don't light that cigarette--
(Building explodes)

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I just saw a banner ad for a ringtone website that equated itself to crack cocaine. In fact, it actually said "just like crack cocaine...first one's free!"

I remember when you couldn't say "bitch" on tv and "ass" was for one of those raunchy NYPD Blue type shows. Ah, how far we have come.

ivytheplanti won't be happy till i see a hippo raping a toddler on the oxygen network

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what if nigger meant kite

I think that could be worked in, provided the toddler is kidnapped first.