...whistling, which provides an awesome effect because of the ...

way, that he makes you feel, its the way, that he kisses you its the way that he makes you....

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You know you totally missed me!

...want to let one, but you also don't want to let one because he's gonna hear it and...

...he might run away screaming because you ate triple helpings of fried onions, beans, egg salad, and broccoli last night around midnight while watching Don Knotts videos and turned your air conditioning full blast to simulate...

---
I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

...the sound of music, which happens to be tooting happily away now that you don't want it to, and...

...Alice cooper joined the alliance for old people when...

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God Is A Bird... Do you believe in god?

...suddenly, I announced that I will give a hug to anyone who will take the entire Ultimate Run-on Sentence and create a word.doc file of it while eating...

... a giant hogie the length of my friend's enormous...

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God Is A Bird... Do you believe in god?

...left leg (you thought I was gonna say penis, didn't you, you saucy little lumberjack) while squirting that sweet onion sauce up my nose and whistling children's hymns out of my ears to the beat of an interesting drummer, who is none other than...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

...that kid in the back of the room that everyone thought was going to blow up the school, but...

...he actually just liked drawing his own manga and keeping to himself, which is what everyone thoght was so weird, since he didn't participate in any of their prep rallies and didn't see the point in screwing every single preppy girl with perky boobies like some other guys he knew, which is a smart move, since most of the guys that did that ended up with weird diseases after High School, like...

---
I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

...Antiphilus or nasal herpes, but that's all good because they always countered it with a...

...a large stick of spearmint gum that came in a care package from Mommy, who always reminds you to wear clean undies just in case you get in an accident and have to go to the hospital with three broken legs and a smashed left...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

...nostril, and then mommy and daddy will have to buy you a new nose but that's ok because...

...the clean underwear always makes things so much better in any crisis, kinda like when you eat chocolate, except chocolate is much messier and tastes good on everything (unlike underwear) including...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

... inner ear canal infections which since ancient times have been cured by a process described as "coning", a technique used in China, India, Tibet, Egypt, and the Aztec and American Indian cultures, who are renowned for their flatbreads that can be covered in layers of creamy, delicious...

---
Ham-fisted ham fisting.

...goat cheese (and you thought I was going to say "semen", didn't you, you silly little horndog you) that is also good stuffed into meaty fillets and goes well with any variety of...

---
I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

...pancake batter which of course is an excellent breakfast if you don't have much time when it's adequately stirred and put into a pan which is then put onto a burner and cooked to a light toasty brown and then taken out and covered with a huge mound of hot...

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Blue is the color of victory.

...semen (you thought I was going to say "butter" didn't you, you coquettish little pixie-cakes)and rolled lightly in the cat box until covered with nice, chewy little sprinkles, and then covered with sparklers and cocktail umbrellas and stuffed into your...

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

...God damned motherfucking cuntlicking piss-soaked fucking torn anal sphincter shitmunching cockrabies tittie-mashed piece of half-digested congealed jizz monkey-faced cottage-cheesy pussy discharge...

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

... with honorable mentions going to the off-Broadway production of The Boy From Oz for "Best Leopard Print Skin-tight Chemise", a recognition that had Jean-Pierre Thibaudat fuming "For a stage spectacle starring a thespian who's most notorious for his role in a big-budget comic book movie franchise, I ( speaking for all great French theater professionals) denounce this veritable chaussette of art and petition that all involved be ceremoniously stripped of all their...

---
Ham-fisted ham fisting.

...titles (you thought I was going to say clothing, didnt you? you silly little sausage stuffer) to which they would all be stuffed into a large crate and sent to guam with no-class postage so by the time the package gets there, it has been bitten by 500 90-pound swedish long-nosed fire-farting weasles wearing...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

...George W. Bush who then declared war on Sweden in retribution for having been mistaken for a Swede and then declared that Swedish meatballs were actually weapons of mass destruction because they taste so good but just then he heard that Donald Rumsfeld had eaten one of them last night so he decided to...

---
Blue is the color of victory.

...beat him over the head with a dead fish three times while saying "nyoookie nyoookie nyooooookie" (but what purpose it served, no one knew, not even the fish) and then took him and shoved him in a crate full of garlic just to add insult to the previous injury so he could go back to his card game that he was playing with...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

... a purple drapery slung over his shoulder like a Roman Imperialist," after which the aging critic went back to his apartment to beat off to...

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.