quote:

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Anyone hear 'bout that guy who rigged is house w/ booby traps so none of his relatives could take it from him w/ lawyers, but then was killed by his own trap? Not too good.

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Funny, I booby trapped my lawyers so my house couldn't get at them with my family.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Tattoo Geek items

5 Mac Men

Geek or killer? I got 3 of 10

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

quote:

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No, but I heard about that guy who always double-posts.

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I got 8 out of 10. I could tell by the eyes.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Create your own piccaso sketch

http://www.mrpicassohead.com/index.html

http://www.mrpicassohead.com/canvas.html?id=3d2916a

9/10.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

6/10

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

They all look like killers.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

4/10

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Batman created by Bob Kane

9/10

anyway, moby's dog looks like a wild rat.

http://moby.com

That dog is hot.

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

I got 9 out of 10. It said I could spot Hannibal Lechter at a convention or something and my liver is safe. You kind of have to think that the pictures that look really old aren't computer programmers, you know?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Well, to go along with that Aussie hair remover called Nads, I just spotted another disastrously named product:

A new snack food... Planter's Nut Poppers.

My first thought was, "They can't taste that good."

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Dairy Queen makes a peanut-topped parfait with chocolate syrup and ice cream. I used to get stoned-blind, go in and ask for the Penis Buster Parfait.

Damn good stuff that.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I just got another dumb spam email. Just a couple of lines of text about some magical orgasm drug. At the bottom, underneath the 'Unsubscribe' link, there was the following text:

quote:

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tipsy fishermen dandy embarcadero dactylic grill transfusion exudate maiden margo rebuttal leap bel mouthful demiscible phenomenology twinkle heisenberg wake perspire parthenon lawman ramada prolong cantor monitor gusto hoy secretary roundabout newel sociable dewey caricature taper ayers blond uplift inveigh absence zoology crept flagstaff cockpit appointee argonne burg casino parasite gabbro buxom melanoma brighton exemplary muzo midas flop talk deafen andesite collate macassar trivial rabbet extrusion far mccarty moisten ruffle staphylococcus caldwell mantis dominic avocet lapel buy chinquapin diplomatic tinker transform emperor ran offal fluctuate sagacity widen break bellman fled dyad indoor finessing embarcadero chirp godwin cauliflower collegian ruth shoelace bahrein chose personal description britain extensor ambush dank burst shortstop infield adamant baghdad evelyn concentric athenian nightclub stagnate thrown bogota forceful neuropsychiatric discretionary citron dodecahedron doggone audiovisual weave noun cautious primordial mathewson contemptuous bacterium handel radial darlene petroglyph prodigy beech muscovite breakthrough rena incantation imputation geld vintner peppergrass dodd lukewarm aureomycin astrology eyeglass finish london coca consanguine lao colonist calibrate toolsmith peridotite transmitted decry methacrylate bender accent lawful walk contradistinct mozart switzerland perpendicular johnsen mellon colorate brought bulky biotite oceanography curdle ratio coagulate aerate bonze cajole carpentry dulcet resourceful debacle workbench aversion delouse accident funeral reduce lysergic carla catcall glory handclasp minuteman perceive vexatious wu dope cranium tanzania clad tristan bridgework barn paperbound worn apatite augean subtle asylum barefoot gnomonic bravo byrd royce societe chevron gleeful chilean anthracnose fortiori aqua baffle cyril holbrook onward grandnephew depressive barstow mole extremum pall rapture canfield sinewy bronx wound testate snippy turn jealousy refinery share appendices bonaparte ellwood typescript cobble rapport lyra coccidiosis apothecary taverna chlorate drake chlorophyll manumit scripps bolt minnesota oracular bug expunge polarograph sadist gladiolus respirator woeful alton freemen suture bloat eel scrimmage substantial lipschitz proclamation brochure chungking dictate anthropogenic terra brighton simplex advice disciple northern martinez prague realm biggs bacterium patroness celanese bayberry resistible scripps buried pout commercial naomi dachshund british thrombosis mitigate bamboo auction corporeal team mcgregor india categoric gauguin deleterious backbone flycatcher mandrel lakehurst owing augmentation inquisitive assassinate century weird dipole around marimba promulgate solicitation amplify attendee undulate d'art vehicular hampton clothe cessation newsman gertrude dido sandman befog blockade anglo somewhat blair prostate zoo tablecloth coliform embroider stocky draw

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Probably.

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

it's designed to infiltrate file-sharing programs, too. When people search for something on a file-sharing program, like 'cantor', they may accidentally pull something like that up.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

This is one strange banana.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Instead of one crappy layout you could have conceivably infinite crappy layouts.

A few that came up weren't that bad actually.

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Vote Jeb Bush 2008

If a thousand monkeys banged at that strange banana you might come up with stripcreator in a few million years.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Then let's speed things up by sending them asiangirl2 as a monolith.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

That was....strange....

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

I just had a fantastic driving experience. It's on par with having some idiot pass you doing thirty miles over the speed limit and wishing he'd get pulled over, only to see him off the side of the road two miles later in front of a cop car.

My house is in the hills south of Eugene and it's about two miles all downhill from here to the flat. It usually rains all winter and if it ever actually snows, it melts the same day.

Recently the snow has been piling up and it's way colder than usual. The steep hills (and my steep driveway) have made trips to and from the house kinda scary. More than once we've had to park lower down the streets 'cause we couldn't make it up the last few hundred yards to the house.

So this morning it was icier and the roads were worse than they've been in the last week. There's one big hill lower down on a more major road that seems to be eating cars at a rapid pace. They're turning the buses around 'cause they're too scared to drive down it.

I made it down OK the first time on my way to school, and then found out classes were cancelled. So I took a roundabout route home so I could take my wife to work.

While driving her to work, I was nearing the nasty hill again and was a little more nervous due to an increase in traffic. I wasn't so worried about the road as I was about other idiots driving on the road.

There was a guy in a Honda Accord that was way, way too close to my back bumper for these kinds of conditions, so I pulled over and he drove past. I pulled right back in behind him at a safe distance and watched as he started tailgating the truck in front of him.

He didn't seem at all concered about keeping his speed down, and I commented on what a douchebag he was to my wife.

"Honey," I said. "That man is a douchebag."

And no more than five seconds later he promptly smashed into the truck in front of him. Which would of course, have been me if I hadn't had the foresight to let him get by.

I felt even better about the fact that it seems there was little damage to the truck, but the guy's Accord was fucked up.

Score one for Gabe.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Gabe + 1

But you know, if he would have rear-ended you, and once you explained the situation to the cops, they probably would have given you a get-out-of-jail-free card allowing you to stomp his stupid ass into the ground.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.