THOSE SMARTY-PANTS FICTIONAL CHARACTERS GET THEIRS BUT GOOD HERE

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

biped

One of the few times when it can honestly be said that Sherlock Holmes got off worse than Richard Simmons.

Fantastic work, definitely one of your best to date.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

GOD DAMN! I AM SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW! HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAY YOU DOUCHE BAGS!

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Poop.

ZMannZilla

Thanks!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

biped

You have my sympathies. I got bitten by an outside cat once who panicked when I was trying to put her into a carrier and started chomping on my fingers like they were tuna treats, including biting right through my thumbnail. My fingers swell upped and hurted real bad after that. I should've asked for summa dat darvocet.

see more crazy cat pics

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

DON'T EAT THAT HAWAIIAN PIZZA!!!  CLICK HERE INSTEAD!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

biped

Ye hath hated upon the snack food of the Gods, and shalt be punished.

Unfortunately, the Gods in question are all pacifist stoners, so the smiting will most likely be lame and lazy. You'll be punished with a terrifying rain of water, possibly a plague of common insects, and then they'll completely blank when MXC comes on Spike and you'll be in the clear.

But I'll still never forgive you for that pizza recipe. Not only did it taste like shit, but my cellmate won't even speak to me anymore.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

OH, MY GOD...it was just a "joke" recipe.  I didn't mean for you to really do it.

Now I feel irresponsible for not posting a disclaimer at the end.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Here's an Easter carol that I just wrote:

EASTER TIME
by biped

Easter, Easter, Easter, Easter
Hey hey hey
Easter, Easter, Easter, Easter
It's Easter Day.

Happy Easter to you
Happy Easter to you
Happy Easter, Easter, Easter, Easter
Hey hey hey
Happy Easter, Easter, Easter, Easter
It's Easter Day.

Feed the world colored eggs
Let them know that Easter time is here
Feed the world colored eggs
Let them know that Easter, Easter, Easter, Easter
Easter time is here.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The lyrics suck but the tune is really catchy.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

I agree except for the part where you said "suck" instead of "are magnificent."

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

God damn.

BigFrank105It's super-effective!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Fuck you, Orioles.

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I has a flavor!

Andy McFAIL is indeed a monster UE. I'm sorry you have to live with that sort of hate monger in your life.

Wait for it....okay, HERE

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I just signed up for two charity bike rides:

• A hilly 50 mile ride through San Diego in two weeks, and
• A 62 mile (100 km) ride along the Avenue of the Giants in the Northern California redwood forest in May.

I do this so I can say, "I donate directly to other charities throughout the year" when the annual United Way campaign gets under way at work. Also, I don't hit up coworkers and friends to sponsor me so I can also say, "When I do charity events, I just pay the recommended donation myself so I don't have to make people feel awkward by begging them for money."

Whenever someone hits me up for a charitable donation, I just imitate one of Cliff Robertson's patented "sweetly-retarded" characters and excitedly exclaim, "I...I saw a motorcycle today!" 

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

i now have to work with this girl.

http://www.freeones.com/html/n_links/Nichole_Heiress/

she's basically a prostitute/coke slut/pornstar wannabe. joy.

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Kill Whitey.

AngryAmerican

I'm sure she's a bitch, but I'm finding it really hard to sympathise with you right now.

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

This morning, I decided to buzz my hair. I was about 3/4 of the way finished when I dropped the clippers in the toilet. They went right into the hole in the bottom and started thrashing around like they were trying to burrow their way down. I pulled the plug before anything shorted out. They stopped moving, but I'll never forget that "nyaw nyaw nyaw" sound they made as they fought their way toward freedom. I lifted them out by the cord and they dripped away.

I tossed them in the trash, put a hat on, and went to buy a new pair. Twenty dollars is a small price to pay to not be a butt head.

 AngryAmerican

What do you mean you work with her?

um....she dances at the club I work at.

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Kill Whitey.

AngryAmerican

What do you mean she 'dances at the club' you work at? I'm having trouble visualizing this. Maybe you should take some pictures so it'll be easy to understand. Or better yet, maybe a video or ten.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

there are plenty of opportunities to see her doing a lot more than dancing at the link i provided.

why settle for watching a girl dance around naked when you could watch her getting fucked vigorously under a freeway overpass in broad daylight?

personally i don't find her very attractive.

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Kill Whitey.