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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

My kids are young. I took them around the hood. Then I took my oldest (7) on a ride to the best decorated houses I've seen in North Seattle. I figured those people went through a lot of trouble and not many kids go around trick-or-treating anymore...

We got to this one place where the front yard looks like an Iraqi school yard on the date Bush was landing on the Lincoln. Blood and bodies everywhere. Smoke puffing from the ground. The car port is covered in strips of black cloth and billowing with smoke. From inside we hear a raging chainsaw and maniacal laughter. My son peaks his head in and backs up. I tell him if he wants the candy, it's in there. Suddenly, a full grown man wearing a red rubber nose, baggy pants, floppy shoes and splatters of blood leaps from the foggy darkness and shouts "Happy Halloween!" He revs the chainsaw he's carrying, screams and runs back in. My son looks up at me - I shrug. The boy steps into the noise and fog. As he parts the black cloth I see strobe lights.

Moments later he comes back out a bit pale but smiling. "Did you get any candy?" I asked.

"No." He said. "I couldn't find it. It's like a maze. I walk a way and saw these two glowing red eyes so I turned around."

I told him, "The candy is probably under the glowing eyes." It didn't mater. He didn't want to go back.

Maybe next year. What a great house! And the clown looked like he was having a great time.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

10-31-03 9:52pm (new)
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dcomposed
C3H5N3O9

Member Rated:

That's a lot of trouble to go to just to have some punk kid steal your candy.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

10-31-03 9:56pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

Aren't all kids young?

---
What others say about boorite!

11-01-03 10:19am (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

Not the older ones.

11-01-03 11:33am (new)
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KajunFirefly
chooby digital (in stereo)

Member Rated:

You Yanks totally embrace Halloween and celebrate it like it should be celebrated. Over here the people who do celebrate it just give out some lame candy and hardly decorate their houses, also, the costumes are usually quite half-assed.

At least for children.

However the 20-30 year old crowd seem to use it as an excuse to shell out for a good costume then go out to a club and have sex with some other disguised person in a public toilet without any of the guilt of having to see them the next day at the office.

At least, that's what I'm told.

---
Dad was flammable

11-01-03 11:46am (new)
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PussyFoot
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Halloween shouldn't be celebrated. First of all, it's a Pagan festival, but I don't know what that means so I'll overlook that and move towards the next point, handily known as 'point 2'.

Point 2: Bloody kids get more annoying by the year. Can you believe this? Some kids knock on our door, so as usual we turn the volume down on everything and try to make as little sound as possible. And then, the height of rudeness... the kids knock again, only louder. The bloody cheek of it. They didn't even think for a second that we might not want to give them some crappy sweets that we were probably ripped off at Woolworths for. Dumbasses.

11-01-03 12:13pm (new)
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Matchbook_Romance
Going. Coming.

Member Rated:

A little kid came to my door with no costume but had a sign that said- "I don't have a costume, but you know I'm 95" I thought that was pretty cool.

11-01-03 12:25pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

Some "kids" came to my door last night with tits out to "here." Little sluts are a bit old for trick or teating, aren't they? I didn't care. I was drooling all over their cleavage. LOL!

---
What others say about boorite!

11-01-03 1:15pm (new)
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DragonXero
I'm Here, You're Queer, Get Used to it

Member Rated:

See, that's when you toss some "Mr. Goodbars" between their "Mounds" and everyone has a good Samhain.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

11-01-03 3:39pm (new)
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areallystupidguy
Poison Gas Pokemon

Member Rated:

best spelling error ever. fits well with the context too. i give it 5 stars.

---
It's grime time.

11-01-03 5:13pm (new)
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dcomposed
C3H5N3O9

Member Rated:

Where?

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

11-01-03 5:29pm (new)
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attitudechicka
is never bored.

Member Rated:

Everyone I saw out last night (while taking my neices door-to-door) was my age. The girl who knocked on our door (we had the universal porchlight out sign that we had no candy), was at least 21. What the fuck?

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

11-01-03 6:54pm (new)
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dcomposed
C3H5N3O9

Member Rated:

People like candy.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

11-01-03 7:10pm (new)
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boinky33
I'm with stupid ^

Member Rated:

11-01-03 8:09pm (new)
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Kaddar
Captain Insano

Member Rated:

It means it wasn't based in christianity. But is this so wrong? Memorial day is not based in christianity, neither is saint valentine's day. Yes, I'm serious, before saint valentine existed, this day was known as "Feast of Lupercus", and had many similar traditions to valentine's day. It is only called valentine's day today because the church decided it needed to make all pegan religions christianized. Halloween was chrsitianized long ago by the church as "all souls day", even if that name for it didn't really catch on as much as "all hallow's eve". And besides, I'm atheist with christian heritage, so I still celebrate christmas as a day of family togetherness. Tradition is a good reason to celebrate holidays.

It's a national tradition. God forbid you have to spend one night out of your year giving kids 10 dollars worth of candy. If you can't take it, just put a few paper bowls out front and fill it with candy, and put a sign that says "hey kids, this is all the candy we have, make it last, bitches"

Or you could make a sign on a table that says "all candy is on a table to the right."

And on that table it would say "all candy is on the table to the left"

but both tables would have nothing on them.

Good luck with not getting toliet papered though.

11-01-03 10:06pm (new)
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choadwarrior
Crash Magnet

Member Rated:

I was the risk manager here for five years...

www.disguise.com

Get me drunk, and I'll show you the pics of me dressed up in the catalog from a few years ago.

11-01-03 10:21pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

I tried being the nice guy and handing out candy last year. I got about four bags worth; enough to fill up a good sized bowl. I turned all the outside lights on and waited for my trick or treaters. One pair showed up around 7:30 or so, and another group showed up after nine. I gave the second group huge handfuls of candy and turned the lights out.

Two fucking groups of people. I attribute this to a few different points. One, my neighborhood is mostly older couples whose kids are long gone. So there aren't a lot of kids around to start with. Two, this neighborhood sucks dick in terms of walking effort vs. candy haul. The houses aren't too close together, the hills we're on are atrocious, and some of the walks to houses themselves aren't worth the effort. (The people across the street have about three flights of stairs to get to their house.) And lastly, it isn't too well lit. My house, for instance, is nowhere near a streetlight.

So this Halloween I said fuck it. All the outside lights were out. I had no inside lights on either. I was hiding in the computer room. And some idiots still thought that they should hike up to my front door and push the doorbell.

What the fuck? Don't people understand the rule of the porch light? If it's out, that means fuck off. My house couldn't possibly look any less inviting, and these mooks still came and rang the doorbell.

Next year I'm removing the front steps.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

11-01-03 10:30pm (new)
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boinky33
I'm with stupid ^

Member Rated:

I gave out copies of my novel I'm trying to get published....One day....

11-01-03 10:42pm (new)
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Kaddar
Captain Insano

Member Rated:

better yet, add a trap door on the front steps instead of removing them, and just to taunt them, fill it with candy, so that they die by their own hubris.

11-02-03 8:28am (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

Next year, if the lights out and they still come to the door, remove your pants and promptly shit in their bags. Then point out the sign that you will have on your front lawn that says "I shit in trick-or-treaters bags." Word will spread thrughout your sleepy town and the trick-or-treaters will stay away forever more.

11-02-03 9:48am (new)
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kramer_vs_kramer
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

I tried that one year, and got some distinctly strange people coming round. Funnily, most of them were German.

11-02-03 9:55am (new)
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bobby17
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

Das is a sterotype!

---
I once was lost, but now am found.

11-02-03 10:02am (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

My family historically liked to hand out hot pennies. They bake up nice on a cookie sheet.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

11-02-03 10:56am (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

We had 4 bags of candy and had run through almost all of it in the first 20 minutes, so I ran out and bought 4 more bags. After that we had one more trick or treater. Not one more group-- one more lone Halloweener. Now what am I going to do with 4 lbs of candy?

---
What others say about boorite!

11-02-03 11:03am (new)
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boinky33
I'm with stupid ^

Member Rated:

....

11-02-03 11:42am (new)
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Stripcreator » General Discussion » Happy Halloween


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