Thank you and welcome to PV 99, with your reigning PV champeen, KungChiFu.

So, I grew up in this little bitty town in northern Nevada, USA... called Battle Mountain.

You can look it up on MapQuest if you're curious. About 1500 people 75 miles from the nearest McDonalds, 225 miles from the nearest city, way out in the high desert, surrounded by sagebrush, mountains, and gold mines.

As a consequence, among the many things I missed out on (such as movies, McDonalds, employment opportunity and malls) was punk rock.

We didn't have punk rock in Battle Mountain, despite the fact that I was in high school during the more or less second-heyday of the genre ('82 - '85). We had Van Halen (which wasn't bad) and country & western (which was).

As I've grown older, I've done some investigating of the punk rock scene I missed, and have always wished I had gotten to experience more of it. For example, a few months ago I went to a Motorhead/Dwarves show in a small club here in Reno... wearing earplugs, of course, because I'm now old. It was a blast but I ended up in the mosh pit and was sore for a week afterward.

So this is the contest. Photoshop me some punk rock images. They can be about what I missed during the time when punk rock was booming. They can be about the absurdity of a 36 year old man in a mosh pit. They can be about punk rock sucking, punk rock ruling, or just generally silly takes on punk rock in general.

Multiple entries are strongly encouraged, as ever. Judging criteria is going to be strictly about whether or not I think they are funny.

Judging will be Tuesday 11/11/2003.

You can use any punk rock photo you want, but here are some to whet your appetites/stimulate your imaginations:

Black Flag

Sex Pistols

The Ramones

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Iggy Pop

Dead Kennedys

Motorhead

Have fun, and thanks for playing!

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

The Armpit itself?!?

We are not worthy!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

It's tough being a celebrity. But yes, I grew up in the Armpit of America. You may rise.

KCF

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

You forgot The Clash.

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Poop.

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Poop.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was saftey-pinned to the punk rocker!

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I'm posting this when I could be playing Ogre.... Go Figure O_o

"The Ace of Skateboarding!!! The Ace of Skateboarding!!!"

"Five Golden Nose Rings...."

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I'm posting this when I could be playing Ogre.... Go Figure O_o

First ever photoshop attempt - be kind...

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

Hooray for interpreting things literally!

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Poop.

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

^ ^
| Kung Chi Fu at the club |

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

KCF is Rodney Dangerfield?

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Poop.

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Poop.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

yes. yes he is.

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

The Monica Lewenski/Iggy Pop photo was funnier before you took the color out, Crunchy. Can't tell who it is now.

And let me tell you, I imagine that's EXACTLY what I looked like at the Motorhead show. Except drunker.

BTW, you photoshoppers are all doing great! I'm going to have a very hard time deciding. Keep it up!

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Um. Just to clarify... I'm saying here that I looked like Rodney Dangerfield, not Monica Lewenski. At the very least, I don't remember doing the Monica Lewenski thing to Lemmy. But I was, after all, really drunk.

Anyway.

KCF

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

The Price is Wrong Bitch!

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I'm posting this when I could be playing Ogre.... Go Figure O_o

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Poop.

"No matter where you go.... there Iggy is!"

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I'm posting this when I could be playing Ogre.... Go Figure O_o

"Are we not men? We are Chili Peppers!"

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I'm posting this when I could be playing Ogre.... Go Figure O_o

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I'm posting this when I could be playing Ogre.... Go Figure O_o

"Yooooooou're out!"

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Poop.