Well I'll be damned. It seems I have won a contest. Im going to enjoy this because its probably going to be the last time I win anything. Anyway, I believe you all know the rules(Finnish the comic below). The usual awards will also be given. Have fun with it, I know you'll make this a blast to judge.

FTC: House....Of The Dead! by Ewwwww 11-10-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well.....

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

FTC #8 : I can't believe it's not butter! by niteowl 11-10-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... I had to churn the mortgage broker's butter...if you catch my drift.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

FTC 8: Amish and Lamps Don't Mix by attitudechicka 11-10-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... I had to do some thinking, I guess. That joke sure was a doosie. An Amish man and a dwarf, ha! Uh, what were you saying?

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Mediocrity at its most average.

FTC 8 : Best Left Unsaid by Syanide 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... ?!?! All I can say is, Mrs. Robinson had a secret desire to have her way with an Amish man and 25 lbs. of whale blubber...the rest is history.

FTC8: Lycanthrome by kaufman 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... I bit my brother inside a warehouse. Speaking of which, we'd better leave now. The moon is almost down.

FTC8: Don't Mansion It by kaufman 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... I'm waiting. Are you going to answer? I already did. I threw a penny into a well, and this is what I wished for.

FTC8: Amish Pair-o-dice by kaufman 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... I won it in a craps game.

We don't neeed no sttenkin psychic awards ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

FTC8: Fuck tha grammar police... by UnknownEric 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well... I agreed to advertise for three punctuation marks!!! Remember kids, always use three punctuation marks at the end of every sentence!!!

Apologies. I couldn't resist.

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I has a flavor!

FTC8: Witless by kaufman 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well... Hey, wait a minute, I know you. You're HARRISON FORD! Shhhhhhhh! Keep it down, will you? You don't hear me blabbing to the world that you're Robert Redford.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Corp. Flotation in the 21st Century by smamurai 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... You sold all our geese to farmer Gates??? Did he get our cereal crops as well? No, he only coveted our gaggle not corn.

Answers on a postcard for the inspiration behind my comic title.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

I seriously wasn't going to post these. But right now I'm seriously bored.

FTC #8: Haven't Won Yet. Why Start Now? by IB_XC 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... Hey wait a minute, this looks like my mom's house! More like who I did to get it, sucka.

FTC #8: Voice of Reason by IB_XC 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... Wait a minute. You're Amish. Why is there a lamp in here? ...I don't know.

FTC #8: Relevancy by IB_XC 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... Did you know that because Amish people in-breed and because they are an isolated community, that after a good period of time they will become their own species? Sorry man, I'm not really into all that science stuff. I'm Amish, you know.

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"Oedipus, you motherfucker!"

FTC 8: Wee Willy Winky and Amish John by MikeyG 11-12-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... I mean, you didn't like, KILL anyone or anything, did you? Hey, man, I'm AMISH. You never know WHAT'S gonna happen with one of us crazy bastards.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

FTC #8: Our Relative Relatives by Matchbook_Romance 11-12-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... You're Abe Lincoln's great grandson thrice removed? You can't possibly expect me to believe that! And you can't expect me to believe that you're Paul Bunyon's grandfather.

PS: Judging on Saturday

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

FTC8: James The To The Point Amish by Rabid_Weasle 11-12-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... Fucking.

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Poop.

FTC8: Sweet Simplicity by MikeyG 11-14-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... Aaah, screw it! Who gives a shit, anyway? Let's fuck!!! Damn it, MiniHacksawJimDuggan, I thought you'd never ask! It's ON!!!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

FTC 8: If it makes you feel gouda... by mmyers 11-14-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get it??? Well..... Don't tell anyone but the whole place is made out of cheese. Hey, you should have a seat in the La-Z-Brie I just made. Oh, and don't turn on that lamp.

FTC 8: I have sinned in my heart by mmyers 11-14-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get it??? Well..... I don't have anymore time to talk. Idle hands are the devil's workshop and this conversation probably has me in purgatory already!!!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

One-Hour Box Camera Picture Slate. by smamurai 11-14-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... This isn't your house is it? I came here for the lamp, what did you come for? I hear the English! Let's get out of here quickly before they notice their Nintender box is still warm.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

FTC #8 : Horse apple coverage optional by niteowl 11-14-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... I saved a ton of money on my horse-and-buggy insurance with Geico...

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Hello all! Its time for the awards! You guys all did great. Nice job everyone. Heres the moment of truth:

1up Award-- IB_XC

FTC #8: Voice of Reason by IB_XC 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... Wait a minute. You're Amish. Why is there a lamp in here? ...I don't know.

Politically Incorrect Award-- MikeyG

FTC 8: Wee Willy Winky and Amish John by MikeyG 11-12-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... I mean, you didn't like, KILL anyone or anything, did you? Hey, man, I'm AMISH. You never know WHAT'S gonna happen with one of us crazy bastards.

Geek Award-- UnknownEric

FTC8: Fuck tha grammar police... by UnknownEric 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well... I agreed to advertise for three punctuation marks!!! Remember kids, always use three punctuation marks at the end of every sentence!!!

Most Sexual Award-- MikeyG and Syanide

FTC8: Sweet Simplicity by MikeyG 11-14-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... Aaah, screw it! Who gives a shit, anyway? Let's fuck!!! Damn it, MiniHacksawJimDuggan, I thought you'd never ask! It's ON!!!

FTC 8 : Best Left Unsaid by Syanide 11-11-03

Wow, this sure is a nice house!!! I just got it!!! What the hell did you do to get this??? Well..... ?!?! All I can say is, Mrs. Robinson had a secret desire to have her way with an Amish man and 25 lbs. of whale blubber...the rest is history.

Truth Award-- Kaufman

[Click to view comic: 'FTC8: Amish Pair-o-dice']

[img]http://www.drigon.com/~ta/awards/award-creative.gif[img]
Creative Award-- Kaufman

[Click to view comic: 'FTC8: Witless']

Silver-- Rabid_Weasle

[Click to view comic: 'FTC8: James The To The Point Amish']

Zinger-- Niteowl

[Click to view comic: 'FTC #8 : Horse apple coverage optional']

Nice job, niteowl! Have fun with FTC9!

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

Thanks ewwwww!

#9 will be up shortly.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.