Okay, so talking in #SC/IRC today, choadwarrior, jools, and myself were talking about recipes, and how awesome we were at making this one (or making these few) things. Jools had some drink recipes, choad some bread, and myself some cookies and such. Regardless, I got to thinking. Why not do a Stripcreator Recipe swap, just in time for the holidays? Mind you, the recipes don't HAVE to be Holiday themed, but why not test out newly aquired skills on your loved ones when they're at their most starving/drunk? Anyway, if you have any ideas on how you would like to see this recipe swap take place, or if you would like to take part in it, just comment ... below I guess... and I figure in 2 weeks we'll close the deal, just so we can get the recipes up in time.

For ideas on how to make this work, should we do small groups of people and just have one another email me a recipe, to which I email the recipe out to the rest of the group members, or should we just do one big group email and have everyone's recipe in it? Let me know your thoughts on this.

As well, the recipes can be for ANYTHING. Drinks, desserts, entree's... Hell, even preserves.

I'm going to stop talking now.

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

Stick a chicken breast in the Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine, let it cook a couple minutes. Put some lemon juice and regular pepper on it. Cook it until it's done. Cut it in half and put the halves on kaiser buns with grated chedder cheese. Eat it.

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Poop.

I can make some mean mashed potaytas'!

Kitty already taunted my recipes once. The last thing my self esteem needs is for the rest of you to criticize me.

If they're simple and require little brain usage, I might find them useful. :P

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Poop.

I'm swimming in recipes.

I did so want to be a housewife when I grew up. Life is cruel.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Like this?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Ah fuck. I should have known I wasn't the first one to think of it.

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

Two of my best recipes can be found on my crap webapge.

Enjoy.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Snip a couple of chillies in half with scissors and pop them in a pot with a little olivre oil. Once the chillies are pretty brown remove them (they're just there to flavour tha oil baby).
Cruch in a couple of garliv cloves and before they burn empty two tins of ratatouille and one tin of chopped tomato into the pot.

Once the pasta shells are almost al dente ( I did mention the pasta didn't I?), drain them, put them back in their pot and then pour the ratatouille/tomato over them and mix it all up.

Get some sort of oven dish and fill 1/3 of it with the mixture.

Open and drain 3 cans of tuna steak (preferrably the stuff that is canned in oil) and fork out the chunks to cover the 1st layer of pasta.

Cover the tuna with grated cheddar cheese.

Pour the rest of the mix into the dish the grate loads of cheese over the top (I mean loads), crunch on some salt and pepper and gently pat down so it all looks neat.

Pop it in on 180 (gas mark whateva) for about 40-60 minutes, basically till the top cheese starts to go a nice brown.

This stuff is like crack, there will be no leftovers the next day I guarantee it.

You can totally fuck about with this recipe as you see fit, add/remove whatever ingredients you fancy. It's maybe best to leave the pasta in though.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

You might want to leave washing your hands in too, since you have to pat it down.

Also, is that really a holidayish dish or just a random dish? When I think of the holidays I rarely think of tuna.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Ulster Fry
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Somewhere between a full English Breakfast and an Irish breakfast.

good quality back bacon, preferably smoked
farmhouse sausages
potato bread
soda bread
tomatoes (optional)
black pudding
beans
mushrooms (optional)
Ormo brand pancakes
toast and butter
large pot of strong tea

Dead easy, you just get a bloody big frying pan and fry the whole lot. The trick is to start with the sausage, black pudding and bacon and fry the potato bread in the bacon fat until the bacon's pretty crisp. Then fry or toast the soda bread and toast, then add the tomatoes - they really soak up the juices. If you can't get soda/potato bread it's not the same, but hash browns are comparable. Cheese on the pancakes, melted under the grill.

Eat once a week at most, on a Saturday morning, with a hangover. Not for infants or those with high cholesterol.

Sloppy Joes
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500g/1 pound Ground beef mince
1 onion
1 tin tomatoes
mustard - two spoons of French or one of English
ketchup - this is probably the secret ingredient, so use a good brand
Worcester sauce. A dash
salt
pepper

heat a little oil, fry the onions until soft.
Fry the mince until brown. Drain off any excess fat.
Add the rest of the ingredients
taste - add more salt/ketchup/mustard as desired
leave to simmer until it's reduced down to a thick consistency

Leave to cool slightly. Get some bread (any kind although sliced white loaf is best) and make a sandwich with some of the mixture. Eat.

Over the years I've added herbs, beer, beef stock, Jalapenos, chillies, bell peppers, red wine, mushrooms and curry powder. Whatever, it's all good, but I quite like a bit of chilli kick. The secret is to add enough ketchup to taste, and not to make it too dry.

I've got a recipe for cider as well somewhere.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Kick-ass Chicken Marsala:

Ingredients needed:

1 bottle of Marsala Wine
4 lean chicken breasts
14 button mushrooms
1/2 lb. of mozzarella cheese
1/4 of a fresh onion (can substitute onion powder)
1 small jar of store-bought or homemade brown gravy
1/4 lb. of butter
bread crumbs
1 or 2 eggs, beaten
vegetable, olive, or canola oil
small amount of curry powder

Start out by beating the egg(s) in a small bowl. Take the chicken breasts, and lightly bathe them in eggwash. In a seperate bowl, pour the breadcrumbs in, and dip the eggy breasts in the crumbs until coated. Begin heating about a half to an inch of oil in a skillet, and when the oil is bubbling, drop in a dab of butter. When the butter dissolves, place the chicken cutlets in the oil. Fry until golden brown, flipping them after about 10 minutes.

While waiting for the cutlets to fry, chop the mushrooms and fresh onion if you want to use them, and grate the mozzarella. How much mozzarella you use is up to you. Take a small pot and use it to heat up the rest of that 1/4 lb. of butter. When the butter is melted, dump in the mushrooms. If you want to use fresh onions, dump them in as well. Stir mushrooms until the mushrooms begin to brown and you start to get a nice, juicy sauce in the pan, and the onions & mushrooms begin to caramelize. Take about a half a cup to a cup of marsala wine, and pour it into the pan. Remove the chicken when golden brown, and place into a small or medium-sized serving pot. Cover the cutlets with some of the mozzarella.

When some of the wine has rendered down in the mushrooms, if you haven't used fresh onions, sprinkle in the onion powder. I personally prefer the onion powder, so I suggest you go with it. Then you can pour in the brown gravy and stir. Sprinkle a very small amount of curry powder in. The curry powder makes the Marsala stand out in a better way, but it is not necessary. If you want to make the sauce creamier, you can pour in about 1/8 to 1/4 of a cup of milk or cream as well. Cook the sauce, stirring occasionally, tasting every so often. When the sauce thickens a bit and you can no longer taste the bitter taste of the Marsala, the sauce will be done.

Pour the hot sauce right onto the chicken cutlets and mozzarella. Sprinkle the rest of the grated mozzarella onto the top of the dish. Heat up the oven to about 350 degrees and place the dish in for about five minutes. You can also toss it in the microwave for a minute. The purpose is to heat the chicken in the sauce and melt the cheese. Enjoy!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.