CC196: Christmas by TheGovernor 7-10-03

Merry Christmas All.

I saw mommy humping brad under the mistletoe.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

That was you. Must have been an out of body experience. Though now I know why you borrowed my pink dress.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Nuh-uh. Mommy was wearing a slutty black dress!

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Christmas is a gay old time:

What a Ho (Ho Ho) by choadwarrior 5-31-03

Oh my God! Santa! Welcome to my living room--it's so great to finally meet you! You know I'm into older men...oh, I just love your sexy grey beard... How did this guy stay off the naughty list? So does the carpet match the drapes?

HOHOHO HO by AccentuateNegative 12-18-03

Hey, would you like to sit on Santa's lap and take a picture for eight dollars? Sorry, I don't have eight dollars on me. No...would you like to make eight dollars?

Don't leave me hanging, did he take the 8 bucks or not?

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"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

Based on a festive IRC conversation:

Merry Christmas by KajunFirefly 12-25-03

Is it wrong to download porn on Christmas? Not at all, Jesus was born naked. Yes, but he wasn't fisted in the ass whilst sucking off a couple of black guys. It doesn't say in the bible that he WASN'T. Moh!

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Dad was flammable

The Worst Wing Christmas Special by TheGovernor 12-25-03

What do you want Mr President? I need you to take down a letter for me. Mark it urgent, and requiring an immediate response. Ok Mr President fire away. "Dear Santa, Thank you for my presents, Ive been such a good boy this year like you asked... "..but you seem to have missed a few. I asked for a Model Train set, Bin-Laden, Iraq, a Nintendo, Saddam and North Korea, but all I got was the Nintendo, Saddam and Iraq. Yours Sincerely, Georgie"

LOL'ing at the Governor.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

"... every year, I still... *sniff*... pour an eggnog on the ground for my dead reindeer homies" = the funny

I'm not sure about the punchline of this one, but I dig santa's second dialog balloon.

So naughty, it's nice. by ObiJo 12-24-03

Ho ho hum. Merry fucking christmas. What? Merry fairy gary larry fucking mucking trucking christmas. What's your problem? Sorry, little girl. It's just that old Santa here could REALLY REALLY use a blowjob. Leave a Barbie Dream House and we'll work something out.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Obijo, over the years you have stolen my heart. I would almost vote republican for you.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Christmas is Jesus' birthday. What a coincidence. by boinky33 12-20-03

Happy birthday, Jesus! For me?

12 wangs of Christmas by boinky33 12-20-03

boinky reads his wish-list to his dad: I want Twelve drummers drumming, Eleven pipers piping, Ten lords a-leaping, Nine ladies dancing, Eight maids a-milking, Seven swans a-swimming, Six geese a-laying, Five golden rings... Four calling birds, Three French hens, Two turtle doves, And a partridge in a pear tree! And a PS2. Jumpin' Jesus Christ, you're greedy! You're getting socks and underwear, you little brat! And do you have a bird fetish or something, ya pervert?

boinky & Santa by boinky33 12-21-03

Santa... boinky? Remember that time I wanted that Tickle Me Elmo? Yes. Why didn't I get it? Because you were 16.

boinky & Santa 2 by boinky33 12-21-03

Santa... boinky? Why do you only come once a year? Well...I don't know. I bet your wife's unhappy about that, huh? Ha! Ha! Ha!

boinky & Santa by boinky33 12-22-03

Stay around a bit longer, Santa. Sorry, but I have to get back to the North Pole. Suck MY North Pole! Which happens to be in the Southern region.

christmas gifts by boinky33 12-27-03

Wow, you sure got me alot of stuff for Christmas. Yes. How could you afford it all? Well, you know that jar of change I keep on top of my fridge? Yeah.... Well, I put all that change in a sock and mugged a guy.

If I were to tell you I'm not republican could I also steal your kidneys? I'm not a democrat either though. I'm in the middle somewhere, hoping for the day we either have a true multiple-party system, or the church or arse enters the political fray.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

An idea I got from one of my posts......

A Christmas Story by boinky33 12-27-03

For Christmas, all I really wanted was some hand cream. But my mom would always say, "You'll shoot your eye out!" But one year I got some hand cream. And by gosh it's true! I did shoot my eye out! Gross.