Usual rules. Panels 1 and 2 stay as is. Anything you want in Panel 3. Have fun, judging Thursday.

FTC 23: The Predictable Template by kaufman 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

FTC23: At least Rosie won't ask for chocolates... by UnknownEric 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Mrs. Palm, you've got five luvverly daughters...

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I has a flavor!

FTC 23: Eric's Dream Date by UnknownEric 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Would you like to see my complete collection of everything ever released on Sarah Records? Marry me.

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I has a flavor!

This blows. by ObiJo 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Opening page www.hoover.com ...

Yes! by ObiJo 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. You don't have to! It's printing out now! My perfect date is a picture of Erik Estrada questioning my manhood?

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

FTC 23: Freudian by TheGovernor 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Well this is weird. You said it.

FTC 23: The Predictable Outcome by umfumdisi 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Hi, I'm Lester. (Dammit, I'm pretty sure I checked "no feebs.") Hi, I'm Stan. (Dammit, I'm pretty sure I checked "no geeks.")

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

FTC 23: Young Love by crabby 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. This is not what I was expecting. Fresh meat!

FTC 23: MSN Matchmaker Sucks by Rabid_Weasle 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Elsewhere... Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged.

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Poop.

FTC 23: Rosie's Kinky Outfit by Jeanster 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker. Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. My perfect Valentine's date is a sock puppet? Slip me right over Rosie and her five sisters. Then we party!

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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

FTC 23: Even Clippy Gets Lonely by Rabid_Weasle 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Later... So... I hear you're into computers?

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Poop.

FTC 23: Date With Satan by possums 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker. Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. ... SO...... YOU IS FAN OF SAID BACON?!

FTC 23: Date With Robot(backwards) by possums 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker. Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. ... RAAR!!! TOBOR WILL GIVE YOU A GOOD CORNHOLING!!!

FTC #23: Valentine's Physics by NooniePuuBunny 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. So I said, "Them rotor turbines aint gonna generate gravitrons by themselves..." God...kill me now...please!!! I don't even know what the fuck he's talking about!

FTC #23: WTF??!!! by NooniePuuBunny 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. The next day... Frohlichte Weinachten und eine gluckliches neues Jahr!! ?!!!

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

FTC 23: by dcomposed 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker. Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

FTC #23: A Doomed Relationship by Xuanwu 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. HA! I see you camping there! Just wait until I get my rocket launcher reloaded! This is the best date EVER.

FTC #23: Babes Dig Linux by Xuanwu 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. ...to install Linux.

FTC #23: Clippy has a Hot Date by Xuanwu 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Later... How's THAT for "match making," eh? Burn in Hell, Clippy!

FTC 23 by BigEvilDan 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Your perfect Valentine's date is February 14th. Why can't you just admit that you didn't find anything?

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

FTC 23 by BigEvilDan 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Oh, and if she asks, you're a Nobel prize winning billionaire underwear model. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Dan, that first one was delicious.

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Poop.

When I can, I like to use contests as fodder for my superhero lampoons. This contest uses the image I use for Johnny Smog, my Human Torch lampoon. So here's another canonical episode in my Furshlugginer Four series.

FTC 23: Johnny Smog tries Computer Dating by fpd 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Oh Johnny, I have loved you from afar for oh so long. Now, at last, we can be together. I sure hope you're a shape-shifting alien, because I would look like such a geek if anyone saw me dating a girl who looks like you.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Related Topics: Psycho... Mass Murderer... Hatchet Man... by Spankling 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. February 14, 10:45 PM That was less than perfect. Just for that I'm switching to the fucking cat avitar!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

FTC 23: Great Minds... by BigEvilDan 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. That night... Well, you have to admit that the matches were very accurate. True, but I still feel like we could have saved money by staying home and masturbating.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Geek's valentines day by EvilZak 2-14-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Your date is analnudecelebs.com Damn, I wanted lesbiantwins.gov

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AFROMANS MOVE

FTC #23: We've got your goat. by NooniePuuBunny 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. *bleats* Don't tell me this is the only way I'll ever get any...

FTC #23: No...not that racist asian-girl joke again.... by NooniePuuBunny 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. NO! I refuse to be a part of this running gag!  <3

FTC #23: ^-^ by NooniePuuBunny 2-14-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Later on...  <3  That's it...I'm switching to Linux.

FTC #23: Historically Accurate by NooniePuuBunny 2-14-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Later on.. Walk with me and I will give you a crown of life...