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Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » CC 233: Who Wants To Be A TV Exec?

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UnknownEric
and the Goblet of Mountain Dew.

Member Rated:

I was a little caught off guard by my surprise victory in CC 232, so needless to say, I had nothing prepared for a new contest. So bear with me.

Many of you know that recently the show that, in my humble opinion, was the only thing worth watching on television (Angel) was cancelled. So how do I work this into a contest? Strips slandering the decision making at the WB? Sweet revenge, yes, but not a lot of potential for teh funnie. Strips about vampires with souls? Eh, doesn't seem like a contest people could sink their teeth into (pun intended).

Then, it came to me. Picture this: You are a recent hire in the WB's programming department and the job of replacing Angel on the fall schedule has been given to you. Given the sorry state of American television (our beloved non-American strippers will just have to imagine how awful it truly is), pitch a show that would potentially succeed in a world of crappy reality shows, unfunny sitcoms, and 27 different versions of C.S.I.

Series are welcome, for shows that need a little more exposition (of course, the less exposition it needs, the more likely it is to succeed nowadays). You can even use old comics if you happen to have somewhere made a strip in which a fictional television program is somehow described or acted out.

If these rules are too confusing, you have my expressed written consent to paddle my arse and/or make me explain it in clearer terms.

Judging will be Monday. Strip on, brothers and sisters!

---
I has a flavor!

2-18-04 11:16am (new)
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possums
FERN DESTROYER

Member Rated:

CC 234: Skrewin' Dead Folks is Fun! by possums
2-18-04
Wow! I'm so glad I'm going to be deciding the show to be the replacement for Angel!
Yeah, you just need a show.
Any suggestions?
Try a reality T.V. show!
...welcome back to "Necrophiliac," the reality t.v. show for the WHOLE family!

Hoolay! I is be the first!!

2-18-04 5:33pm (new)
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Matchbook_Romance
Going. Coming.

Member Rated:

CC233: I Dream Of Matchy by Matchbook_Romance
2-18-04
And we're rolling...
Why would you make a show about a boring guy like me?
It's the new and hip thing to do. Take some no-name face and put them on television. Maybe spice things up and add a few plot twists.
Oh, is that so?
Yes. Okay, take that ab roller and start using it while listening to Marvin Gaye.
How's this for a plot twist? I take out my twelve guage shotgun and the camera man runs for his life?

Finally, a CC I can really get into. It sucks that they cancelled Angel, but at least Gilmore Girls is still on, right UE? ;)

2-18-04 5:58pm (new)
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UnknownEric
and the Goblet of Mountain Dew.

Member Rated:


Mmmm... Alexis Bledel.

I got it! The new WB series should be "One Hour of Alexis Bledel!" :)

---
I has a flavor!

2-18-04 6:08pm (new)
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mwjon2
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

CC 233 - Those don't look like TV execs you lazy prick by mwjon2
2-18-04
The studio execs discuss the new reality show
Hey! How about a reality show about real WB execs trying to develop a new reality show?
What a great way to leverage our synergies! It would rate through the roof!
The first day of filming begins with a discussion about a new reality show
Hey! How about a reality show about real WB execs trying to develop a new reality show?
What a great way to leverage our synergies! It would rate through the roof!
And as the viewer's head explodes we learn that the earth cannot sustain a continuous loop

2-18-04 6:58pm (new)
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BigEvilDan
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

CC 233: The Creative Process by BigEvilDan
2-18-04
So here's the next big reality show: it's all about paint drying. It's just an hour of a camera, a wall, and some paint.
Very outside the box, and yet incredibly cheap. I love it!
The focus group was very enthusiastic, but that may have been because of the free cookies.
We'd better make some changes just to be on the safe side.
So, before the paint fumes have potentially fatal effects, which three contestants do you want to date next week?
I'll take Ron Jeremy, the midget, and that slutty lesbian.

CC 233: Don't Give It A Second Thought by BigEvilDan
2-18-04
So this show is about a woman, who's actually an actor, trying to con some guys, who she doesn't know are also actors.
She's trying to convince them that they're on a reality show, but none of them know that the production staff are all actors trying to screw things up.
Sounds complicated.
Maybe, but I think our audience is smart enough to follow it.
I don't want to hear that kind of talk. You're fired.

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

2-18-04 8:00pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

CC 233: From the BRAAAIIIIIINNS in Marketing by kaufman
2-18-04
Here's the new can't miss sitcom, My Daddy's a Zombie. It's got everything, cute little kids ...
Daddy, where are you going to take us today?
BRAAAIIIIIINNS!!!
Gratuitous scenes of a scantily-clad blonde co-star ...
Honey, I'll be dressed in just a moment, and then I can fix you breakfast. What would you like?
BRAAAAANNNNS!!!
And of course gripping conflict.
I really hope the Cub Scout picnic won't be called off. What's the weather like?
RAAAIIIIIINNS!!!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

2-18-04 9:13pm (new)
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kramer_vs_kramer
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

I heard a brilliant idea for a TV show recently. It was to be called "Camp Camp", and it was to be a kind of Big Brother reality TV affair.

There'd be a straight guy having to share a house with nine gay men who knew that one of the housemates was straight. He'd have to pretend to be gay and not be caught out. Kind of like "Faking It".

The twist being, none of the housemates were really gay, they would all be straight men who had been told the same thing.

2-19-04 1:43am (new)
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smamurai
Too orangey for crows

Member Rated:

You should read the part of Zak in a gravelly voiced, gargling with glass, Jack Bauers stylee.

24, Episode 1. 0800 hours, doot, doot, doot! by smamurai
2-19-04
Zak Flours is a well respected member of the Parent/Teacher Association.
How can I help?
You have to listem to me very carefully. My name is Zak Flours, I work for the PTA. Do you see that girl over there?
Zak doesn't know it yet, but he is about to have a very, bad, day.
Yes.
That's my daughter. I want you to make for her a McToasted McMuffin and a small coffee.
Sorry sir but we only sell newspapers and cigarettes here, you might want to try the McDonalds across the road.
My childs hunger is dependant on this. I don't care what strings you have to pull, just get her the McMuffin.

24, Episode 2. 0900 hours, doot, doot, doot! by smamurai
2-19-04
09:00 hours
I need you to take my daughter to school today.
We can't do that Zak, I'm sorry but, I can't say any more than that.
Damn it Paul, who is blocking me on this. Is it anyone from the PTA?
No Zak, it's my wife. She said your kid put gum on the backseat last time she car-pooled with us.
I'll have to take her myself. But if we crash I am holding you personally responsible.
That doesn't seem fair somehow.

24, Episode 3. 1000 hours, doot, doot, doot! by smamurai
2-19-04
1000 hours. Zak is on the phone.
Hello Mr. President?
I am here Zak, but please call me Bert.
I just thought I should warn you sir. People have been dicking with me today, and if they can get to me they can get to you.
But why should anyone want to get to me?
You are the president of the Parent/Teachers Association.
I am also chairman of the local tennis club and my wife does a lot of work for charity. But I don't like to talk about that.

---
GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

2-19-04 3:18am (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

Kaufman, you stole my idea! Well, not really, but you got to it first. Other scenarios:

"I can't remember the name of that girl on My So-Called Life. It was Claire something. Claire..."

"DAAAAAAAAAAANES!"
[hr]
"Uggh! That magician guy creeps me out. David something."

"BLAAAAAAAINE!"
[hr]
"I can't understand why Brad dumped me! What's wrong with me?"

"PLAAAAAAAAAIN JAAAAAAAAAANE!"

*shakes fist*

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

2-19-04 7:05am (new)
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fpd
Doctor of Fine Parody

Member Rated:

CC 233: The Unreeled Life by fpd
2-19-04
Here's my idea for the new WB show. We'll have the most popular actors from our cancelled sci-fi and fantasy shows live in the same house.
That's wonderful, doc. We get the star appeal without paying for scripts or special effects, and we don't have to pay the actors as much either.
Welcome to the Unreeled Life. We fired them from the shows you loved and put them all in the same house.
Hi, I'm David Boreanaz.
And I'm Julie Benz.
Join us, along with James Marsters, Travis Fimmel, Sarah Wayne Callies, Ashley Scott, Dina Meyer, Shannen Doherty, Julian McMahon ...
Jason Behr, Shiri Appleby, Kristen Kreuk, Michael Rosenbaum, and Tom Welling -- all on the Unreeled Life.

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

2-19-04 10:15am (new)
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fpd
Doctor of Fine Parody

Member Rated:

Here's the show I would actually like to see replace Angel.

CC 233: Midvale by fpd
2-19-04
Hey Clark, what's up?
I just met the most amazing girl, Pete. Her name is Linda, and she is so super.
You met her last season on Smallville.
Linda, I've never met anyone like you. I think I'm falling for you.
I'm sorry Clark, but we can never be together in that way, for I am your cousin.
Now see her in her new show, Midvale, with Helen Slater as her foster mother, Mrs. Danvers.
What's wrong, Linda? Why are you so unhappy?
My parents and my boyfriend perished with Argo City.

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

2-19-04 10:39am (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

We haven't even brushed tasteless yet ...

Tommy, Can You Push Me? by kaufman
2-19-04
Good news, sir. The boys in research have found a bit of Helen Keller's DNA. They're cloning it now.
Great, great! What are you planning to do with it?
We're thinking of having her tend to a parapalegic in need of care on a new show. We'll call it "Deaf-Blind Eye for the Lame Guy."
Genius! Pack up your stuff; you're getting promoted!
What a nice day for a walk.
Are you nuts? You're pushing me down the middle of a busy street. HELLLLP!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

2-19-04 12:06pm (new)
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ivytheplant
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

CC233: Beswept by ivytheplant
2-19-04
Mr. Moneybags thought he hired a hardworking maid, and a dedicated plumber!...
Is that a WAND in your hand or are you just happy to see me? *pause for canned laughter*
I'm waiting for you to SWEEP me off my feet! *pause for canned laughter*
...but what he doesn't know is they're really former Hogwart's teachers!
I say, this room was absolutely FILTHY just a second ago!
It only LOOKED filthy. *pause for canned laughter*
Coming this fall on the WB...a reality show that's magically hilarious! BeSwept!
Goodness me! My mansion has been turned into a FOREST!
But the bathroom LEAF is fixed! *pause for canned laughter*

CC233: Faith No More? by ivytheplant
2-19-04
On the next Surreal Life...
You are being most stubborn in this matter, Jesus!
Put a ROCK in it, Mohammad!
GW, you're a dick!
It's all the pagans like you, Fiona Horne...if that IS your real name...who are ruining this country!
Watch how major players in some of the world's most flamboyant religions, manager to live TOGETHER in ONE HOUSE sharing only TWO BATHROOMS!
Yo Moses, want to eat the others?
Oh Cthulhu, always the eating! Why the eating?...Besides, I don't think that cowboy is kosher.

2-19-04 3:04pm (new)
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ivytheplant
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

CC233: Who Wants To Whore Themselves Today? by ivytheplant
2-19-04
From the producers of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, The Mole, and Mexican Wrestling...comes a new reality show that's sure to break the rules!
okay contestants. This round will demonstrate your critical-thinking skills as you attempt to save your partner!
Watch as 26 contestants face challenges and each other in the new WB hit...
Will you take a check?
I say cash only! You want ancient chinese laundry secret or not?
Who Wants to Be U.S. President!
Why do I always get the hard ones?
It's easy bone-brain! Just unlock the damn door!

CC233: Three New WB Edutainment Programs by ivytheplant
2-19-04
Basket-Weaving With Slash!
Why do I have to be naked again?
Fabergè Egg Decorating With Tobor!
Awww...Tobor corholed egg too hard...
Jujitsu with Gary Coleman!
Little angry man needs to find his inner strength.
Hey! Whatyoutalkin' 'bout? I can still kick yo ass!

2-19-04 3:27pm (new)
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ArtemisStrong
masturbating to Japanese shit porn

Member Rated:

They Took The Pages Away From Me, And Here They Are. by ArtemisStrong
2-19-04
Coming this mid-winter/early spring to the Dubya Bee-- Quantum Leap: The New Class.
I loved that bicycle (I will not call it bike). It was green and had a large red horn.
Jizzidy-jizzum!
Sam Beckett is no longer just merely a man trapped in time, but also a hip, hardcore rebel on a wild, radical ride. And his new partner? Let's just say, dog's got some 'TUDE to spare!
I need clues. Hmmm... Clues, clues, clues. Clues. Hmm... Cl-u-u-u-ues. Clues. Clues, clues. Clues, I have said and shall repeat once more. Clues.
Homey don' get all up in there with that Dutch noise!
Thrills and chills are on their way. Can he piece together this mystery that critics are calling "A taut... stylish endeavor... that... soars... and is... replete... with... cowboys."? Well, can he?
I am still alive. That may be important. I mean to say, it was. Or is. But I hope not to talk of such things, but only of C's walking stick. Or was it A?
Don't make me get all existentially morassed on your white (here meaning Caucasian) ass.

The time is ripe.

---
Ham-fisted ham fisting.

2-19-04 4:05pm (new)
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ArtemisStrong
masturbating to Japanese shit porn

Member Rated:

No Jesus-themed Happy Meals For You! by ArtemisStrong
2-19-04
Slow Fade-In from Credit Roll:
And with that, I win.
No fair! A cowboy move is against the rules!
Special Effects: Golden, glittery mist that billows into a luminous explosion. Sound : Large cymbal crash.
AHA! It is I, Jesus!
Crap! Punched in the ass by Christ again!
... and after that, they fight phallic robots in space. Or maybe in Ancient Greece. So? Does it make your perinium tingle or what, baby!
Sorry. I think we'll just show re-runs of "Family Guy" in the open slot. Now please leave my office at once, for your enormous height frightens me.

---
Ham-fisted ham fisting.

2-19-04 4:46pm (new)
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EvilZak
Senior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

New entries to come later.

FOX churns out two television shows in one minute by EvilZak
10-03-03
Welcome to "When Cows Fall On Ordinary People". Today's contestant is Lord Albert Stingson.
Pardon me, sir, but I do believe I just heard you mention my name. Whatever could you be talking about, kind sir?
Well, Al, a cow has just fallen on you.
Welcome to "When Clowns Fall On Ordinary Cows". Today's contestant is Bessy.

Entertainment today by EvilZak
10-06-03
I'm Jeff Cobart, and this is Entertainment Today. There's been big controversy over Albert Einstein's time travel. Have any secrets you'd like to share with us?
Well, after extensive research I have found that at any given time, the mass of the Universe multiplied by the speed of any given particle is equal to that particle's gravitational force.
That's quite boring. Do you have any interesting secrets?
More interesting, huh? The force of an object multipled by its degree of rotation and divided by its primary vector is equal to its damage force.
Are you gay?

---
AFROMANS MOVE

2-20-04 12:09am (new)
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ivytheplant
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

CC233: Real Real World by ivytheplant
2-20-04
Coming this fall to the WB! A teen drama that's really real!
Wanna come over tonight? I could always blow off my hot college boyfriend.
Nah. I've got a date with a hot college guy from out of town.
I wish I had a boyfriend. I wonder if she's bluffing.
Maybe she's bluffing. I wish *I* had a boyfriend.
Real High School! Only on the WB!
Looks like another night of masturbating with Ol' Sparky.
Looks like another night of masturbating with The Pink Wizard.

2-20-04 9:28pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

CC 233: Attack of the the Pet Peeves by kaufman
2-21-04
So, you have an idea for a show for us at the WB, Mr., uh, Pedantic?
That's Dr. Pedantic, you sniveling twit, and your two-bit network is WB. No The. It's not The CBS, not The CNN, not The Nickelodeon ...
ALL I CAN SAY IS: DIE, YOU ENGLISH-FOULING SPAWN OF SATAN!
Er, now that I've vented my spleen on that vital issue, care to hear about my idea for a show?
moh.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

2-21-04 9:53pm (new)
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possums
FERN DESTROYER

Member Rated:

The Polar Opposite is Mighy Hot by possums
2-22-04
Hmmm.... I gotta think of a new show...
Maybe you should try the polar opposite of Angel.
Introducing DEVIL. Weeknights on the WB.
I SHALL FEAST ON YOU ENTRAILS.
GHOARAGHAGOH ARAGHAORAGHO ARAGOAHG AORHGA!!!!

We've Found a Use For Him by possums
2-22-04
Hey, Mark, do you think you could think of an idea that would be both practical and popular?
Hmmm.....
I got it!
And now back to Frogger with that annoying WB Frog.
The dub dub dub dub dubbaya AAAUAGGH!!!!

2-22-04 8:09am (new)
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lukket
Home Computer Futurist

Member Rated:

CC 233: The invisible family I by lukket
2-22-04
Honey! I'm home!
Honey? Where are you?
Hi dad. Mummy went to get some tan.
That sounds like a perfect waste of time to me.

CC 233: The invisible family II by lukket
2-22-04
Dad, I have a question for you
Just ask me anything, son!
How can I get the attention of the girls? They never notice me.
That's easy, son. Just give them a good pinch!
Will that make them like me?
No. But you surely get their attention!

CC 233: The invisible family III by lukket
2-22-04
15yrstud: Hello cutie!
invisiblegirl: Hi. A/S/L?
15yrstud: 15/M/Texas. Gotta pic?
invisiblegirl: Sure! Just wait.
15yrstud: I'm off. C ya dude!
Damn...

CC 233: The invisible family IV by lukket
2-22-04
Remember what they taught you. The subpoena is only legally delivered when you've seen him.
What do you want?
Um... can I see your father?
Probably not!
I quit!

CC 233: The invisible family V by lukket
2-22-04
What's the problem, officer?
It's a penalty by our state law to drive while being invisible! Follow me to the station.
OK, officer.
Sorry I was late, hon. I was nearly arrested for driving while invisible. But I tricked him!
Good thing you followed that ventroloquism course...

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

2-22-04 2:55pm (new)
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lukket
Home Computer Futurist

Member Rated:

CC 233: The invisible family VI by lukket
2-22-04
I don't know. That invisible family show needs some celebrity guest stars.
But how can we fit that into our tight budget?
Aw man. Finally in Paris to see Jim Morrison's grave.
I am the lizard king!
I don't know. I don't think it fits into the story line...
OK. We'll just use it for the halloween episodes, then.

CC 233: The invisible family VII by lukket
2-22-04
Hi cutie, why didn't you greet me?
Oh. Hi Cindy. I didn't see you.
Do you have a prom date yet?
I'd love to Cindy, but my parents would freak out over the pictures.
Aw come on. We would look great together.

CC 233: The invisible family VIII by lukket
2-22-04
Cindy, my parents would just don't understand that I date an invisible girl.
You just want me because you can sneak me into your room unseen!
No Cindy. You misunderstand, I ...
Sorry I interrupt you talking to yourself, but I'd want a burger.
Just a moment. Hey wait Cindy, don't go! I love you!
You need some serious councelling.

CC 233: The invisible family IX by lukket
2-22-04
You are crying, sweetie?
Steve don't want to go the prom with me, because I'm invisible, mum.
That's not a way to treat a young lady. Your dad would never be that rude.
But you weren't invisible when you met.
That's right. I would never have dated him if he was invisible then.
Gee, thanks mum

CC 233: The invisible family X by lukket
2-22-04
The "Invisible Family" series gets a pretty good Nielsen rating.
Yeah. But there's the problem about merchandising.
We've sold a lot of that. What's the problem?
Yesterday during a show where we presented clothes from the series a little boy shouted "But they ain't got any clothes on"
We got to close the show.
OK. I'll arrange for an ending. Let's just agree that they were run over by a truck driver who didn't see them.

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

2-22-04 2:56pm (new)
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Shadow_Artist
Do geese see God?

Member Rated:

CC233 - CSI: Spinoff (1) by Shadow_Artist
2-22-04
Welcome, Phillip! You said you wanted to discuss an idea for Angel's replacement?
Not just one idea, but several! I think we should broaden our CSI programming. I've got loads of new settings.
Well?
I can only express my imagination by stripping.

C233 - CSI: Spinoff (2) by Shadow_Artist
2-22-04
CSI: Kindergarten
I don't get it, Grissom. How could a preschool bully smash another kid into pulp?
Sticks and stones...
CSI: Atlantis
Why did you do it, Blue? You would have had the pearl in a few months - the clam had cancer!
A few months! I 've waited 18 years for that clam to give me something! Love, attention, bloodworm, but no! I thought I'd take an advance payment!
CSI: Ancient Rome
You've got nothing on me, fool! Your super-high-tech technology doesn't exist in this time!
No, it doesn't, but I don't need that to catch you. I've got...the evidence!

CC233 - CSI: Spinoff (3) by Shadow_Artist
2-22-04
CSI: Hell
Yes I killed her, but she beat me everyday! I thought I'd set up with this new chick, but she was even worse!
Better the devil you know...
CSI: Spain
That red stain on the carpet wasn't more blood, Senor Nombre. It was red dye from your bull fighting cloak!
I did it for my little girl!
CSI: Christmas
Every year, same time, same entrance...if you're going to break into someone's house every year, Chris, at least be original!
I need help, Grissom! I need help!

CC233 - CSI: Spinoff (4) by Shadow_Artist
2-22-04
CSI: No Man's Land
How are we going to narrow down the suspects, Grissom? Every country in the world's nuking this place!
We start with our eyewitness, Brass...the evidence!
CSI: In Space
You are now a suspect, Glrakrag. I'm going to need a sample of your eye juice.
You're getting nothing without an inter-planetary warrant, two eye freak!
CSI: Beyond the Call of Duty
Why have you disturbed my slumber?
Sorry about this, Grissom, but we need your incredible forensic skills...one last time!

CC233 - CSI: Spinoff (5) by Shadow_Artist
2-22-04
Well Phillip, these are some fantastic ideas. With this kind of inspiration I'll have a new CSI show out within the week!
Great! WB is saved!
Later that week, in about a week...
Now on WB, a brand new CSI inspired by the imagination of a man named Phillip.
Excellent! I wonder what they've used my ideas to create?
CSI: Las Vegas
A stripper's been found dead in the desert, covered in gambling chips. We think she was on drugs and sexually assaulted.
How unusual.

---
Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. - Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 - 1972)

2-22-04 5:34pm (new)
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Rabid_Weasle
Professional style cramper

Member Rated:

Call me crazy... but is the original CSI not set in Las Vegas?

---
Poop.

2-22-04 7:29pm (new)
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Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » CC 233: Who Wants To Be A TV Exec?


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