Life is crazy...
I started a new job the other day (YAY!!!) and I'm cramming at a very fast pace for our big test on Monday 10/25. I have to obtain my property & casualty license for the state of Ohio to progress with the company. The training is intensive! The instructors filled a file cabinet drawer with candy to keep us on our toes. I'm not usually big on sweets, but I'm learning they can be addictive when you're approaching brain-death. Anyway, here's some interesting info:

BABY RUTH: 288.5 calories and 12.5g grams of fat
TWIX, CARAMEL: 284.5 calories and 14g of fat
5TH AVENUE: 279.5 calories and 12.5g grams of fat
SNICKERS: 273 calories and 14g of fat
MR. GOODBAR: 257 calories and 16g of fat
OH HENRY! 245.5 calories and 9.5g of fat
PEANUT M&M'S: 242.5 calories and 12.5g of fat
KRACKEL: 236 calories and 13g of fat
PLAIN M&M'S: 236 calories and 10g of fat
MARS ALMOND BAR: 233.5 calories and 11.5g of fat
ALMOND JOY: 232 calories and 14g of fat
NESTLE CRUNCH: 229.5 calories and 11.5g of fat
MILKY WAY: 228.5 calories and 8.5g of fat
BAR NONE: 224 calories and 14.5g of fat
REESE'S PEANUT-BUTTER CUPS: (2) 222 calories and 14.5g of fat
KIT KAT: 220.5 calories and 12.5g of fat
BUTTERFINGER: 216 calories and 8.5g of fat
3 MUSKETEERS: 212 calories and 6.5g fat
100 GRAND BAR: 200.5 calories and 8g of fat
GOOBERS: 200 calories and 13g of fat
MOUNDS: 195 calories and 11.5g of fat
CHUNKIE: 173.5 calories and 10g of fat
YORK PEPPERMINT PATTIE: 149 calories and 4g fat

Highest fat content: Mr. Goodbar, Reese's PB cups, Bar None, Snickers, Twix, Almond Joy, Krackel, Goobers.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

I would like to be referenced only as Mr. Goodbar from this point on. I have the highest phat content out of any of you cats!

Then I'd like to be M&Ms cause I melt in yo' mouth, not in yo' hand.

And I'd like to nominate either ivytheplant or little_kitty for Mounds.

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I has a flavor!

I'd just like to get my Butterfingers on your Mounds, baby. You know what I'm sayin'? Then I'd like a taste of that Almond Joy while you're unwrapping my 100 Grand Bar.

I think you got your chocolate in my peanut butter, baby. Oh, yeah.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Goddammit. Unknown Eric beat me to the innuendo. Curse him for the suave devil he is.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

These are the worst innuendos I've ever heard. The names of candy bars should never have been listed in a thread on this forum.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

i want candy
bubble gum and taffy
skip to da sweet shop wit my sweetheart sandy
got my pennys saved so
i want a suger daddy
i am hugh crone
she is jessica tandy
i need candy

anykindl do
dont care if it nutrisos or fda approved
gonna make me spaz like bobcats on booze
a hyper active juice only i can produce
get a giant drill
bore it strate itno hell
realeasing acient deamons from there sleep forever spell
so they can walk apon the earth
and get high on the drugs mc chris has created!

do it to ya daddy embarres family
just cuz you came across a kid and his candy

mix up the mess
mess up the mix
come on down yo
here is the adress
612 warf avenue
612 warf avenue

(reapeat "do it to your daddy" verse)
i need candy

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my name is mc! chris that is!

was that good?

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my name is mc! chris that is!

It was good when I saw it on Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

well you is talking wit d mc himself

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my name is mc! chris that is!

I want you to all call me Henry from now on.

That way the ladies can refer to me as Oh Henry. All night long!

Wooooo!

/me fucks off

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Poop.

Shut up, you Big Turk!

I'll just keep providing the snickers.

But you knew that.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I'm worried that soon I won't have any teeth in my smile when I snicker.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

Hey ladies, come over to my place later and we'll take a trip to the Milky Way!

Woooo!

/me fucks off again

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Poop.

Snicker bars are pretty good with bacon gravy on them. Especialy after being rolled in butter than deep fried. Now that's good eatin!

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Get Your War On

Hey baby, let's pretend I'm nuts and I'll be your Almond Joy!

Wooooo!

/me fucks off to kill himself

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Poop.

If you are even slightly dyslexic, you will look at a package of Goobers and see "Boogers." A pouch of delicious chocolate-covered Boogers.

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What others say about boorite!

Well, mc chris, your comics suck.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Word.

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Get Your War On