Woohoo, I won a competition and this time I actually noticed.

So make a comic about the Worlds worst way to tell someone some very bad news.
You're gonna die.
You've got cancer.
Your kids are on dope,
You wife is fucking your adopted son.
That whore you porked last night has aids.
You're paralyzed for the rest of your life.
Bush won the elections again.
Whatever you can come up with.
Judging next monday

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

Excuses, excuses by BadlyDrawnBoy 6-15-04

Okay Dave, what happened. I tripped and fell off that cliff. Uh huh. So do you feel dead this time? No...no, i think I'm okay. Just a bump on the head. I'll be fine, Death, I don't have to cross this time either. You don't even have a back side to your head. You're brains are splattered on that rock. No, no...that was there when I got here.

Bad News by nonphixional 10-25-04

* Redirecting to http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/Zegota

255059[/comic]]

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The only way to discover the limits of possible is to go beyond them into the impossible. Arthur C. Clarke

WW28: Grin And Bear It by biped 10-25-04

Bob, I have something to tell you, and while I'm doing it, I want you to keep thinking to yourself... "Bear shit ain't all that bad...bear shit ain't all that bad...bear shit ain't all that bad..." Because that's what your wife and kids are now, Bob. Bear shit.

WW 28: Grin And Bear It (alternate version) by biped 10-25-04

Bob -- you see that big bear over there takin' a shit? Yeah...what about it? That shit...is your wife and kids.

WW 28: Grin And Bear It (alternate version II) by biped 10-25-04

Bob, I'll just come right out and say it -- a bear just ate your wife and kids. Even now, the bear's digestive system is processing their masticated remains. And when it's done, they'll be bear shit, and will emerge from the bear's asshole. Unless, of course, the bear gets sick to its stomach. Then, they'll just be a big ,steaming pile of bear vomit.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

WW28: *cue carnival music* by fzh 10-26-04

Hey honey, what's with the clown suit? It's to lighten the mood when I tell you thatI want a divorce!

They're pretty tasteless, then again, considering the topic, it was pretty hard to avoid.

WW28: An Innocent Question by quodlibet 10-26-04

Mom, if my anus is bleeding, will I need to go on the birth control pill? Um, why, no, dear. Oh, okay. By the way, Mom, Mikey the hamster's in the toilet. Can you get him out? Mikey? I wondered where he'd gone. How did he get in there? Don't worry, Mom, he didn't drown. And I won't be hatching hamsters out my bum, either. Mikey didn't have time to go all the way.

WW28: Daughter/son by quodlibet 10-26-04

Congratulations! You have a bright new bouncy boy or girl. Excuse me? Boy...or girl? Yes, it's wonderful, your new baby is like a fully-equipped luxury sedan, capable of the smoothest ride in all gears. Boy...or girl? Imagine, sir, your offspring will be able to copulate with him or herself without needing to venture outside his or her room! Never need to worry about safe sex practices again!

WW28: Nutcracker News by quodlibet 10-26-04

Congratulations, sir, I've got some great news for you. You've hit the jackpot! I don't understand, I th-th-thought -- You've got a rare, one-in-fourteen million type of nut cancer that has already spread and will cause you a slow, painful death. But that's just like winning the lottery! One in fourteen million! My nuts?! But -- thank goodness my wife's pregnant! But my nuts! Yes, obviously your testicles are unable to produce sperm, so I've knocked her up for you. We'll have to take both your nuts -- not as if you really need your balls anyways. Congratulations!

WW28: Divvying up the family farm will be difficult by quodlibet 10-26-04

Mom, can you help me get Grandpa undressed? He's wearing my expensive leather corset and straps. Um... And I'll need help getting the bag off his head. But we don't need to call the funeral home yet -- I'm hoping he'll stiffen up nicely and not be leaky. Well... One last thing, Mom. For the baby shower, would you call it your grandkid or your brother or sister? I can't really decide.

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If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

WW28: I have entered yet another contest. by 80_Million_Fleas 10-27-04

Meanwhile, in some government building... Nonono!!! Don't press that big red button!!! You mean this one?! Later... Maybe I should go back to Mars... Look on the bright side... You get to repopulate the Earth with me!

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Shame on Us for All We Have Done. May God Have Mercy on Our Dirty Little Hearts.

WW28: poor guy... by Karajin 10-27-04

A house call So helper bot, how am I? Well... OH GOD NO! Have five diffrent forms of cancer, your two childeren divorced you, your wife died in a car accedent, George bush got reelected,your cat met a steam roller *Chogh*Grusom*cough* But other than that your fine...Oh also your head has seemed to have exploaded

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WW28: A tragedy averted only by 5% of this suffering world by quodlibet 10-27-04

Forty years you worked day and night, you've abandoned your loving wife; neglected your kids, and smell like old jizz, your eye on the Pulitzer Prize. Your magnum opus you trust to a box, which runs oh-so-stable MS DOS. The last sentence goes in, you're ready to grin, then a message informs you of loss: "System corrupted by illegal input. MS DOS has just gone kaput. Cursed as thou art, any attempts at restart will turn your diskettes into soot.

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If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

WW28: Jason and Medea by fpd 10-29-04

Medea, you have been a great wife. Without you, I would have never made it back with the Golden Fleece. You know I'd do anything for you, dear Jason. You are my world. I love you with all my heart, mind, and soul. I'm so glad you feel that way, because there is something else I would like you to do for me. Just name it, dear heart. I killed my own brothers to help you escape with the Golden Fleece! What wouldn't I do for you? I have this plum opportunity to marry the princess Glauce, but you and our kids will have to leave Corinth forever. In Hera's name, no! After all I've done for you, you cast me aside! The furies are too good for you, Jason. The furies are too good for you!

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

WW28: Based on a true story by fpd 10-31-04

Mom, I'm so happy! I have a new boyfriend! That's wonderful, honey. What's he like? Oh, he's a bit neurotic maybe, but he's also very funny and has been very successful in Hollywood. I'm very happy for you. He sounds a lot like your father. Now, Mom, you know that Woody is not really my dad. You're the one who adopted me, and you never even married him. So it's not like this is incest or adultery. What are you, Soon-Yi, the spawn of the devil? Only Rosemary's baby could hurt her mother so!

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

TEH JUDGHING!

Lot's of good entries, honorable mentions go to the following

BadlyDrawnBoy for Excuses, Excuses
nonphixional for Bad News, nonphixional also get the 'You're a fucking cunt' award, which I will deliver to his colon personally
Quodlibet for several great entries

But the winner is.............................
Biped for the first comic in his bear shit series

number 29 is yours

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.